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Screaming Infidelities: chapter two

"Just as a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose;
a bitch is a bitch is a bitch is a bitch."
-Ernest Hemingway

Bella:

I understand that some jackasses are brilliant.

Ernest Hemingway was a jackass and a hypocrite and a liar and a womanizer, but he was brilliant. Fucking brilliant. A Clean Well-Lighted Place, shit doesn't get much better than that.

So, I understand that jackasses can be brilliant, but sometimes as jackass is just a jackass. I don't need a fucking silver lining stapled to the shirt of every jackass, thank you very much.

"Oh come on, you have got admit that he's hot," Alice whispers while tugging on my jacket sleeve.

She's talking about some artist freak that she met about a month ago. He sounds like a straight-up jackass to me, no silver lining on this one. Alice has been nagging me to meet him all week and I really don't want to. If I knew that she was going to be in a committed relationship with him, I'd meet him. Hell, I'd throw a fucking party in his honor, but Alice goes though guys like she drives, fast and erratically.

"I'm trying to listen to the lecture, stop nagging, you nag," I whisper-shout, the guy sitting in front of us turns and glares. I glare back.

Alice Cullen is my best friend for three main reasons. One; she's a worm – somehow she manages to worm herself into all parts of my life. My own God-damned father has her number in his cell phone -which he doesn't know how to use - because she is a worm. Two; she puts up with my shit. Three; she makes the best fucking grilled cheese know to man.

"Pfft, like you care about Henry Clay at all!" She says referring to the lecture.

"Are you kidding me, I love Henry Clay, the American System was a brilliant idea," I protest and decide to ignore her, which never works because she is a worm.

"Bella! Bella, bella, bella, bella…" She keeps whispering my name and tugging on my sleeve to get my attention.

"Fine, what?" I ask angrily.

"Don't you think he's hot?" She asks again and I wish that she was a guy so I could punch her in the balls. She's showing me his picture on her phone. I sigh, stop typing, and hit the record button on my computer; I'll just transcribe the notes later.

"Who are we talking about again?" I ask and her eyes get big. Great, now she thinks I wasn't listening. Not that I was, but still.

"Jasper! God, keep up women!" She says and the guy in front of us turns and glares again. "Oh get a life!" Alice whisper-yells at him and he turns back around.

"Alice, Jasper is an artist. A fucking artist! You don't want a relationship with him, trust me," I tell her and zip up my jacket, because for some reason this building is always thirty below. "Can't this college afford heat? I fucking pay them enough," I mumble and Alice lifts her eyebrows. "Fine, Charlie pays them enough," I say with a huff.

"Jasper is amazing though, he's cute and charming and from Texas!" She says the last part as if being from Texas is equivalent to being the first man on the moon.

"Great, he's probably a freaking Confederate," I tell her, she ignores me.

"First, that's offensive; second, what's wrong with being an artist?" She asks and I just sigh.

Nothing's wrong with being an artist. It's just the fact that he is an artist; he's probably got some major mommy issues, or a weird fetish. One or the other, God I really need to start paying attention in class.

"You have to meet him," she whines and starts tapping her pencil on the desk in front of her.

"I've already met him Alice," I remind her and she shakes her head.

"No, like really meet him, I want you guys to actually hold a conversation for point five seconds. I actually like this guy Bell, and it would be a whole lot easier to date him if I knew my best friend was on board. Plus, he really is hot," she tells me with a smirk.

"Fine, I'll meet him. God," I tell her and she claps quietly.

"Great, I told him that we could have dinner at our place tomorrow night," she tells me and I groan.

Why does she even bother asking me if she's knows I'm going to say yes? Fucking worm.

"Alice! I did not condone dinner at our place, now we have to cook. Can't I meet him at a party or something? I don't want to third wheel it all night," I complain.

"It'll be fine. Plus he's bringing some friend of his along, so you won't have to third wheel it," she promises and I nod in agreement because she just looks to freaking happy and it would make me feel like shit if I backed out now. Plus, I actually do like to cook, even if I complain about it every step of the way.

"Friend?" I ask because I'm curious and a complete sucker. She smiles and waggles her eyebrows.

"Yeah, Jasper and him have been friends since kindergarten, went to the same high school and all that shit," she says waving her hands around to emphasize the shit. "He just got out of some complicated relationship and decided to come to the big apple, for whatever reason. I haven't met him yet, but he seems nice enough, from what Jasper says," she informs me and I think about how Jasper is a weird freaking name.

"Complicated relationship? He sounds like a blast," I say sarcastically and she rolls her eyes.

"Come on, it will be fun!" She enthuses and I shake my head.

"Whatever you say," I mumble.

"His name is Edward," she says and I roll my eyes, "Jasper's friend's name is Edward," she says again and I nod.

"How long has he been here?" I ask, because I know she won't shut-up about it and I might as well contribute to the conversation, which pleases Alice. I'm kind of waiting for the kid in front of us to glare again.

"About three weeks, Jasper just ran into him last week while he was running to Starbucks. Apparently he's been staying at some shitty motel, so-"

"So Jasper offered to let him stay at his place," I finish her sentence and she nods.

"He's a musician," Alice tells me with a grin.

"That's even worse than being an artist," I tell her and she laughs.

"And a doctor," she continues.

I put a hand over my heart, "You're just killing me now."

Hook, line, and sinker.

AN: Next chapter will be in Edward's POV. Now let's all say it together on three; one…two…three: REVIEW! Why didn't you say it?