"Bye, mama!" Zoey ran down the stairs of her house, taking them two at a time. Zoey's mother turned, smiling wide.

"Today's the day, huh?"

"Yep!"

Three years ago, Zoey, in essence, became Joey's Pokèmon. By accident, of course. It wasn't hard to keep it a secret, the two had always been practically joined at the hip. This event just cemented their relationship. Now, seventeen years of age, both Zoey and Joey were going to depart on an adventure. Unlike most regions, Sealand has a 'Full education' requirement for a trainer passport, meaning that Joey had to finish high school before he could officially go on a journey.

Zoey ran quickly down to Joey's house, catching him just as he was finishing breakfast.

Pook Bay wasn't home to any professor's lab or anything, it was a humble town with a small port. Because of the lack of lab, most trainers had to catch a Pokèmon without any help. Fortunately, Zoey inherited a Jigglypuff from her mother, who owned a cafe in town. She was glad to see the problematic Pokèmon gone. Now, with both monster and human, Joey made his way towards route 34, which would lead to Kakariki town and, eventually, Prumu city, where the professor's lab was located. Zoey was holding Jigglypuff in her hands, unsure of what to do with it. It was around the time that Zoey decided to put it in it's Pokèball that both boy and girl tripped over something lying in the tall grass, sleeping. Jigglypuff bounced out of Zoey's grip as she fell, but Zoey's fall was still fully cushioned by Joey's soft body.

"Uh, Zoey," Joey said, timidly "Your, uh" Zoey's shirt had been pulled a little bit by the landing, giving Joey a very revealing look at her well-developed cleavage.

"Oh, sorry" the normally brash girl blushed, turning bashful. She got up and adjusted her top, then looked at Joey, her more familiar smirk coming back "Did you like what you saw?"

Joey stood quickly, the very visible red creeping up his cheeks.

"M-mo-more importantly," he stammered "What tripped us up?"

On cue, a blue figure leapt out of the grass and slam tackled Zoey, bringing her back to the ground, and slipping her long skirt down in the same way that her shirt had been before. Joey tried to ignore the bit of pink panties poking out and instead focused on the very pissed off Riolu that was now facing Joey, getting ready for another attack.

"WAIT!" yelled Joey "It was an accident! We didn't mean it!"

"Fuckers woke me up from my nap!" replied the angry Pokèmon. Zoey sat up quickly, and Joey gasped suddenly.

"You can talk?" asked Zoey

"Yes! Now apologise!" Joey immediately bowed five times while apologising, but Zoey stayed where she was.

"How can you talk?" The less agitated Riolu now turned to Zoey.

"Easy peasy. I say words, and they come out of my mouth. Can't you guys do it too?"

Zoey looked at Joey

"I like him"

"By the way, your panties are sticking out" Riolu pointed helpfully towards the affected area.

"Can we keep him?" asked Zoey as she fixed her skirt "He'll be a nice parallel to your cluelessness"

"That's cliché as fuck" said Riolu

"See?"

"Okay" Joey, now fully recovered, tossed a random Pokèball at the Riolu, which, surprisingly let itself be caught. The Pokèball didn't even shake. Joey was dumbfounded.

"Uh, I didn't expect that to work" And then the Riolu let itself out of the ball. Joey steeled himself, expecting an attack. But Riolu instead threw his arms in the air.

"WHY, AUTHOR? WHY?" he yelled at the sky. In another universe, a fourteen year-old was giggling to himself while writing.

"I DON'T WANNA GO WITH THIS DIPWAD AND HIS SLIGHTLY CONFUSING TSUNDERE SLUTTY GIRLFRIEND WHO'S CHARACTER MAKES NO REAL SENSE AND IS APPARENTLY THE AFORE MENTIONED DIPWAD'S SLAVE ANIMAL"

"Uh, what?"

"What did you just call me!?"

Riolu slumped to the ground, giving up. Joey and Zoey sat down on the ground, facing him.

"What was that about?" asked Zoey

"The dumbass underage pervert author feels it's necessary to have a snarky self-aware character in this shambles of a story" responded Riolu

"What?" unfortunately, this just made Joey even more confused

"You know when you watch a tv show and there's that one character that knows they're in a tv show?"

"Oh yeah. I hate those" said Joey

"Probably not as much as I hate pointless romance that doesn't have any relation to the story and has no purpose other than to satisfy the virgin author's sexual frustration" Riolu sighed, aiming a middle finger towards the sky "Anyway, I am one of those self-aware characters"

"Oh. Okay" Zoey stood back up like nothing interesting had just happened. Joey stood to follow her.

"I guess I'm stuck with you guys now" Riolu said, standing up "By the way, isn't there something we're forgetting?"

"I don't think so" said Joey

"Probably nothing" said Zoey

In the forest surrounding Kakariki town, a lone Jigglypuff had just put a wandering trainer to sleep and taken all his money.f