The Day You Were Born
I decided that we had to see Harm and Mac tell Caroline about the day she was born, after all. I have a few more ideas for the Rabb family I created in this tale, so maybe this won't be the end quite yet... but I can't make any promises. Anything is possible. ;-)
xxx
15 October 2017
Rabb Residence
Alexandria, Virginia
xxxx
Caroline's eleventh birthday celebration was a huge success with family from near and far coming to celebrate the day with them. Now, with the celebration over, everyone was beginning to go their separate ways.
Trish and Frank went to meet some of their east coast friends in the city, Mattie and her husband left to make the drive back to Norfolk, Chloe was on a deadline for her latest novel and couldn't leave NYC, but had already Skyped Caroline, and the Roberts family had just walked out the door.
Harm and Mac were in the kitchen putting away the last of the leftovers while Caroline sat on the floor in the family room with Jacob and entertained him as he played with the wrapping paper. The sound of their laughter echoed through the kitchen and Mac couldn't help but to smile.
"Did you think about what I said?" Mac asked as she put the few remaining dishes into the dishwasher.
"I just don't know if it is a good idea, Mac," Harm said as he put a Tupperware container in the refrigerator.
"And why not?" She asked as she turned on the dishwasher.
"Because."
"Because has never been a valid reason for anything, Harm. Remember?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Mac, it's just that well, I – I don't think it's a good idea."
"Do you know what I think?" She began as she turned around to face him, hands on her hips, and ready to go toe-to-toe with him in an "argument." She had no regrets ever about resigning – not one – but sometimes she missed the thrill of battling with him in court. She never got the same thrill with any other attorney. "I think you are being a prude!"
"Am not!"
" You are, too! She just wants to know about the day she was born; there's nothing wrong with that."
"She's practically still a baby herself. I just think it will stir up a lot of other questions."
Mac bit her lip to keep from laughing as she brushed past Harm to get a container for the cake. "Harriet said you're acting just like Bud did when Nikki was this age. Harm, she's closer to being a young woman than she is a baby. And, please, don't let her hear you compare her to a baby on her birthday."
"I just don't know if it is appropriate. Is it?" He questioned.
"Yes!" She exclaimed exasperated. She was almost tempted to throw the dishcloth right at his forehead if it would knock some sense into him. "It's the story of her birth, not her conception." Harm blushed and Mac couldn't help but to let her laugh escape. "I love you, but sometimes you aggravate me," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. "And if you are afraid this will bring up more in depth questions about the birds and the bees than she had when we adopted Jacob, don't be. I already covered that and puberty with her. She's mature enough to hear the story…as long as I'm first chair, you'll be too flustered."
Being an only child for most of her life, Caroline never really asked questions when she was younger about where babies came from. Naturally, with Jacob being adopted a few years ago, there were some questions about why her baby brother wasn't in her Mommy's tummy, and Harm and Mac answered the questions honestly. They explained that Mac had a medical condition and couldn't have any more babies, but that somewhere in the world there was a lady who was having a baby and wasn't able to care for him. They explained how they would adopt the baby, and care for him and love him and it wouldn't be any different than the way they loved her. Caroline was content with leaving at that, and never pushed for more, so they left it at that.
A few weeks ago, Mac got a letter from the school stating they would be showing the puberty video in school at the end of the month and she decided to be proactive. After bouncing some ideas off of Harriet, Mac and. Caroline had a girls day, went for pedicures, watched movies, and had a special talk over ice cream sundaes about how babies were made, who could have babies, and the charges she would be going through herself soon. Caroline was exceptionally bright and the two of them had an incredible mother-daughter bond anyways, so the whole conversation was smooth sailing.
"Wait…you already talked about all of that?" He was suddenly more relieved, maybe telling her the story wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Harmon Rabb, Jr! That is why you've been putting off telling her this story since April, isn't it?"
"No!" He protested, but he knew he was lying and he could never lie to her - it was part of the reason. There was another reason, too. "Well... maybe… I was afraid that she'd blind side us with questions about…you know." He waggled his eyebrows.
"Sex, Harm. You can say the word you know."
"I'm a lawyer, Mac. I don't like going into situations where I don't know what the questions are going to be."
"I can't believe you," she laughed. "Fearless naval aviator turned lawyer is afraid of his daughter asking about how babies are made."
"Mac…"
"Why don't you get Jacob ready for bed, and I'll get Caroline ready to hear about the deal and the day she was born?" She suggested.
"Yes, ma'am," he said with a salute as he walked out of the kitchen before she would tease him anymore.
xxx
"Hey, sweetheart," Mac smiled as she walked over to the built-in bookcase beside the fireplace and retrieved a photo album from the top shelf. She then walked over to the sofa and sat down. . "Why don't you sit next to me, huh?" She asked as she patted the empty space beside her.
"Okay," Caroline answered as she sat next to her mother.
"Did you have a nice party?"
"Oh, yes! The best party ever."
"Good, I'm glad. So, Daddy and I were talking, and we decided we have one more special type of present for you."
"Really?" She asked, her eyes wide. "What?"
"Remember when Dad and I told you about how we met at the rose garden and how we fell in love when we worked together?"
"Yep."
"And you wanted to know about a deal that Dad and I made and the day you were born…"
"I don't think Daddy wants to talk about that. He always suggests a different story."
"Oh, sweetheart, it's not that." Mac cupped her daughter's face. "It's not that he doesn't want to talk about that special day. I think Daddy is afraid to tell you the story because he thinks it will make you grow up faster, and he wants you to stay his little girl forever. It's because he loves you so much. We both do. Do you understand?"
"I guess so."
"Good because I think you will really like this story, and we will tell it as soon as Dad finishes putting Jacob to bed. It's a very special story."
Caroline rested her head on her shoulder. "What's that?" She asked pointing to the book. "Can I see?"
"Let's wait for Dad. This is your baby book and it will help us tell you all about the day you were born."
Caroline grew concerned for a moment. "But, Mommy, what about Jacob? If he was adopted he won't have a book like me, right?"
Mac was amazed with the amount of compassion young Caroline had for her little brother. "Jacob has book, but it's a little bit different than yours. Your book is about when I was pregnant with you and your birth, Jacob's book is about the process we went through to adopt him and the day we first met him."
Caroline let out a sigh of relief. "Whew, that's good. I don't want him to be left out - he's my brother!"
"You are very lucky to have him, and he is very lucky to have a sister like you." She could sense Harm's smile from across the room before she even turned to face him. "And just how long have you been standing there?" She asked as she shifted her position on the couch and turned to face him.
"Long enough to know that I have some explaining to do," he replied as he walked over to sit down on the couch. "Come here, Itsy-Bitsy."
"Yes, Daddy?" Caroline asked as she crawled onto her father's lap.
"I think it is important to set the record straight, okay? It is not that I don't want to talk about the day you were born. It was one of the very best days of my whole entire life. I was just..afraid.. to talk about it because it reminded me that you aren't that little teeny tiny baby anymore and you are growing up so fast, and I wish that I could just slow down time and keep little forever-"
"Dad!" She interjected , "if you keep me little forever, I'd never be able to learn to fly 'Sarah!'''
Harm laughed and pulled her close as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "That's a good point, Caroline. I guess I didn't think about it like that."
"It's all a matter of perspective," she offered matter-of-factly.
"That it is," he agreed. "And your mother talked some sense into me, too. So, I am apologizing for not telling you this story sooner, but I do think telling it on your birthday is a good day to tell it."
"Apology accepted," she said with a nod of her head. "Can I hear the story now, please?"
"Not quite. First, you need to know about the deal Mommy and I made."
"But... but... I want to hear about when I was born. I thought you just said I could."
"And you will hear that story," Harm assured her. "But, first, you need to hear about the deal because you are a result of that deal... and well, Jacob, too, and even..." He trailed off for a moment, not sure how to finish his sentence, not knowing how much he should say.
"I'm really confused, Daddy..." Caroline looked to her mother for help. "Is Dad confusing you, too?"
"It will make sense when we start telling the story. Ready?"
"Very ready."
"So," Harm began, "It all began on the day AJ was born. That was a crazy day at JAG. Aunt Harriet went into labor in Uncle AJ's office and Uncle Bud almost didn't get there in time because he got stuck in the elevator!"
"Oh, no! Poor Uncle Bud," Caroline laughed.
"And then," Mac picked up, "an ambulance came, but another lady was having a baby, too, and they left with her and they had no idea that Aunt Harriet was upstairs and about to have a baby, too."
"Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh, indeed," Mac agreed. "We called for another ambulance to come, but it didn't get there in time. AJ was super impatient and made is grand entrance into the world in Uncle AJ's office... which, is now your dad's office actually. Uncle AJ delivered AJ, and Daddy and I helped keep Aunt Harriet calm until Uncle Bud got there."
"Did he get there in time?"
"Yes, somehow he did. I think he may have even pushed the elevator doors open himself," Harm said.
"Afterwards," Mac continued, "the ambulance finally returned and the EMTs took Uncle Bud, Aunt Harriet, and AJ to the hospital to make sure that everything was okay. Your dad and I stood on the front steps at JAG and watched them drive away, and I will never forget the conversation your dad and I had next. I actually remember it word for word."
"And so do I," Harm offered.
"It must be REALLY important," Caroline determined.
"Oh it was," Harm agreed. "Your mom and I were feeling melancholy. We were so happy for Aunt Harriet and Uncle Bud, but I think we both wanted to experience that. So, I looked at your mom and said: "Tell you what. Five years from this moment if neither us are in a relationship, we go halves on a kid."
"And I looked at your dad like he had lost his mind. I said: "You and me? Have a baby together? And then he said..."
"Yeah, with your looks and my brains he'll be perfect."
"And I said: And what if SHE has YOUR looks and MY brains? Then Daddy said..."
"That could work too. So what do you say. Deal? - And Mom said..."
"Don't make a promise you can't keep."
"And I said: "I haven't yet."
"But you and Mommy weren't married yet, right?" Caroline asked for confirmation.
"That is correct," Harm confirmed.
"So. Let me get this straight … you told Mommy you would have a baby with her BEFORE you told her you loved her?"
"Yes, I did that a little backwards didn't I?"
"Yes, a little. Then what?"
"Well," Mac began, "The five years were up on the deal right around the time Uncle AJ retired. Your dad brought up the deal, and I didn't even realize we reached the five year mark so quickly. He said that the offer still stood, but a lot of crazy things happened that week and I wasn't ready to talk about it, especially because I found out the I had only a four percent chance of having a baby, so I had to break the news to Daddy."
"Were you sad?"
"Yes, very sad." She ran her fingers through Caroline's hair. "I actually kept pushing Daddy away. I thought he only wanted to be with me because he didn't want to break a promise. I didn't think he loved me. I told him there was a chance we could never have a biological child, and he said it didn't matter how it happened as long as we made it happen together."
Caroline remembered the story her parents told her months ago, she remembered that her dad said he fell in love with her mom when they worked together for about a year. "But you already loved Mom then, right?"
"So much," Harm answered sincerely.
"And you loved Dad then?"
"Very, very much. He did some amazing things for me that year, and I should have been more grateful and told him that."
He knew she was referring to Paraguay and how when they weren't working through things together it took a lot longer to move forward."It just took us some time," he offered as he reached across for her hand.
"But eventually we ended up saying that we loved each other and getting married, and then we were blessed so much to have you come into our lives. So, so much. This is how it all began..." Mac began as she opened the cover of the baby book.
"Mac!" Harm called as he entered their London flat. "I'm home."
No answer.
"Where are you?"
"I'm in the office ," she finally called out, her voice sounding soft and distant.
Harm loosened his tie and deposited his uniform jacket on one of the chairs before he made his way to the office. "How was your day?" He asked as he leaned against the door frame; she was busy typing on the laptop and only half paying attention to him. For a brief moment it almost felt as if they were back at the JAG HQ. "It was fine."
"Jen said you came looking for me while I was in my meeting with the SecNav. Everything okay?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd see if my handsome husband was able to meet me for lunch. I completely forgot that you were in meetings all day."
First of all, it wasn't like Mac to forget about the days when she knew he would be out of reach for most of the day. And secondly, there really wasn't anything near is office which could explain why Mac would be "in the neighborhood." Obviously, he reasoned, Mac must have made a special trip, even though she didn't want to admit it.
"Anyways," Mac continued, "I'm actually glad we couldn't meet for lunch. It gave me a chance to work on this." She said as the printer came to life. "Would you mind looking this legal memo over for me?" She asked as it came off the printer.
"Why are you writing legal memos?" He asked, confused as he walked towards the desk. "Did you get a new job that I don't know about?"
"Something like that," she said as she handed him the paper.
"Who's it for?"
"You."
"Me? What are you talking about?"
"Just read it. Please," she added after realizing she sounded a little abrupt.
Harm flipped the paper over and looked at it. It read:
Memorandum
To: Captain Harmon Rabb, Jr.
From: Sarah MacKenzie Rabb
Date: March 12, 2006
Re: The Baby Deal
History
On May 18, 1999, Harmon Rabb, Jr. and Sarah MacKenzie entered into a verbal agreement. In this agreement, it was agreed upon that if, in five years from that moment, neither one of them were in a relationship, they would go halves on a child together.
Issue
However, due to the discovery of Sarah MacKenzie suffering from endometriosis, it was believed and predicted that there was less than a four percent chance of her conceiving a child.
Question
Is it possible for a miracle to happen with only a four percent chance?
Brief Answer
Yes, miracles can happen.
Additional Facts
After two failed attempts of in-vitro fertilization occurring in July and September 2005, respectively, the aforementioned parties decided to take a break and try to enjoy being newlyweds after their May 7, 2005 nuptials. During that time, the couple enjoyed the relationship they had been waiting for so long – no planning, no charting, no shots, no abstaining for periods of time - and spent the last week of January 2006 in Dublin, Ireland as the honeymoon they never had. At some point throughout the week, the couple made good on their deal and conceived a child.
Conclusion
Baby Rabb is expected to arrive on October 25, 2006, and it can be determined that, to date, Harmon Rabb. Jr. has not made a promise he cannot keep.
Mac loved watching as she saw his facial expressions go from to confusion to pure joy. "Sarah…" he said so softly he almost couldn't hear him.
By now there were tears silently streaming down her face, and all she could do was nod her head.
He opened his arms to her and she quickly stepped into his embrace. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He whispered against her hair. "Talk to me," he encouraged when she didn't say anything. "How do you feel?"
"How do you feel?" She countered as she wrapped her arms around his waste and held on tightly.
"I'm elated…thrilled…ecstatic. But I asked you how you felt?"
"I'm all, of that," she agreed with a sniffle. "But…."
"But what?" He asked.
"I'm so scared," she sobbed, allowing herself to let the walls down.. "What if something goes wrong?"
He nodded his head against her cheek and blinked back his own tears. "Listen to me," he began as he made her look him in the eye. "We take this one day at a time, and no matter what happens, we will get through it together. Okay? After all," he grinned, "we always did our best work together."
The months came and went, and the Rabb's were happy with the fact that Mac was experiencing a normal and successful pregnancy. Little could they have known, though, was that just a few years later, Mac's second pregnancy would be anything but, and the outcome would be drastically different.
"Did you find out I was gonna be a girl or did you want to be surprised?" Caroline asked, after her mom pointed to the ultrasound picture in the book.
"We decided to be surprised," Harm replied.
"It was a very long wait," Mac added. "You were actually born ten days before the doctors predicted, though."
"Why?"
"Why?" Mac repeated. "I think you just decided to come on your own time. Although, even though you decided to arrive over a week early, I was still in labor for almost 18 hours before you were actually born." Mac tickled her, "So you had a little bit of Mommy's timing and a little bit of Daddy's timing. You see, your Dad and I were having a wonderful afternoon …"
"This turned out to be a lovely afternoon, Harm."
"I'm sorry that we had to have a change of venue ," he said as he gestured around to the living room.
At roughly 37 weeks pregnant, Mac was feeling a little antsy about the arrival of the baby, who Harm affectionately referred to as "Itsy. Bitsy," so Harm thought a nice picnic in the park would help relax her some. However, Mother Nature threw a wrench in those plans and it stormed all day.
Having to adapt, he set up a picnic for them in their living room, and even completed the adventure with roasting marshmallows for s'mores over their kitchen stove.
"Any day I get to spend with you is a wonderful day," she reminded him. "I know we've been married over a year, but it still feels surreal and I just love being able to be like this with you," Mac continued as she waved to the space around them. "To do everything together….to do nothing together…to just be together."
"I know," he agreed. "It took us a long time to get here. Isn't funny that in some ways we have been like this for what feels like forever and in other ways it feels like we've only had a few days like this?"
"Mmhm, but what we have now will last an eternity."
"And more," Harm added.
"There's no one else I would rather spend an eternity with."
"Me either."
"So, then would now be a good time to tell you that I've had contractions start a few hours ago?"
"What?! And you didn't say anything?"
"At first, I thought they were Braxton Hicks again, but they just feel different. It's the real thing. Before you ask: yes, I called the doctor. They said we should stay here until my water breaks or until the contractions are more regular."
"How are you feeling?"
"Nervous – excited – anxious," the words spewed out one right after the other.
"And the pain?"
"It's not bad yet."
"What can I do for you?"
"Rub my shoulders and tell me about a case we worked on together to distract me."
It proved that the labor would last for a while. They reminisced about a bunch of old cases and the deal, they talked about all their hopes and dreams for the son or daughter, and even managed to take a brief nap before Mac's contractions were close enough to be admitted to the hospital. As luck would have it, her water broke in the car, and they thought for sure the baby would be born soon. However, she was only 6 centimeters dilated and things seemed to slow down for a few hours.
Beatrice, the nurse assigned to them, loved the American military couple. They met her a few months ago when they came to tour the birthing center, and she instantly had a good feeling about the pair. They also were the talk of the labor and delivery nurses and she heard it through the grapevine that even the pretty Mrs. Rabb used to be in the military and worked with the captain before coming to London.
Beatrice may have had a good feeling when she first met them, but everything she was witnessing during the labor confirmed that was right. She loved how incredibly connected they seemed to be to one another. They were calm cool and collected, she reasoned it must have been years and years of training.
Mrs. Rabb didn't yell and scream at her husband, she didn't blame him for the pain, or swear at him, like Beatrice had witnessed so many times before. Instead, Mrs. Rabb kept saying it did not matter whose brains or looks the baby had, because regardless they always did their best work together. Captain Rabb dutifully fed his wife ice chips, pressed cool cloths against her forehead and neck, whispered words of encouragement and said how much he loved her.
It's been two hours of pushing, and things were finally beginning to move along.
"It won't be much longer now," Beatrice said as the doctor took his place again. "You're doing great, Mrs. Rabb."
"So…tired….can't…push."
"Yes, you can, Marine. You're doing great."
"Pain…so much," Mac opted for a natural childbirth.
"Okay, on this next one push nice and strong," came the doctor's voice.
Beatrice counted down from ten.
"Great work, Sarah," the doctor said. "Baby's head should be completely out on the next one."
"I can't do this, Harm. I can't."
"Listen to me, Mac. Listen. Yes, you can," he said firmly. "Remember all the pain you felt when you got shot by the poacher when we went flying?" He used the cloth to wipe her forehead, his thumb then lingering to stroke her temple.
She nodded weakly, her eyes focusing on his and pulling strength from them.
"All you got after that was a scar and a steak dinner from me. But this time, Mac, we are going to have a beautiful baby. You are the strongest person I know, Marine."
"Okay, get ready to give us your best push yet ," the doctor said.
"Harm…" she reached for his hand again.
"You can do it. Do I have to make it an order, Colonel?" He flashed his flyboy grin. She may not be in the military anymore, but he still couldn't resist teasing her a bit.
"Oh, no. I'm not taking orders from you, Squid. But will you buy me a steak dinner again?" She asked.
"Absolutely," he laughed.
"Okay, now," the doctor said.
Mac gave it the best she had and after the contraction ended, she heard the most beautiful sound in the entire world….the sound of their baby crying.
"I knew you could do it! I love you, Sarah."
"Love you," she whispered, the tears already clouding her eyes.
The doctor placed the squirming baby on her stomach and two nurses began to clean the baby.. "Hello, little one," she cooed.
"Are you two ready to know if you have a son or a daughter?" The doctor asked.
"Yes!" They exclaimed in unison.
The doctor laughed. "Would you like to do the honors, Dad, and cut the cord so Baby Rabb can be turned and see her mommy's face."
"A girl," they said in unison.
"Are you two always this in sync?" The doctor asked as he showed Harm were to cut the cord. His question went unanswered because the new parents were completely mesmerized by their daughter. "I wish more couples were like you," he added. "Does this little one have a name yet or do you two need some more time?"
"Caroline Patricia Rabb," Mac replied. "That's her name."
"How did you pick my name?" Caroline asked as she ran her fingers over the ID band she was given in the hospital. "I must have been really little. It's so tiny."
"Well, we knew that if you were a girl your middle name would be Patricia after Grandma and if you were a boy your middle name would be Harmon after Daddy and his dad, but we didn't have anything in particular in mind for a first name. Caroline was a name I really liked, and so did your dad, so that is how we picked it."
"And if I was a boy?"
"We probably would named you Maxwell," Harm said.
"That's a good name," Caroline commented. "Did you get to hold me after I was born?"
"Oh, yes," Mac answered. "The nurses whisked you away pretty quickly to make sure you were breathing well since you were born early, so I had to wait a few minutes to hold you. It felt like forever, though."
"Was I okay?"
"You were perfectly healthy, and Daddy even got to hold you before I did."
"He did?!"
Mac nodded. "He went with you when the nurses were checking you because we didn't want you to be by yourself. After the nurses and doctor gave you a clean bill of health, Daddy convinced them to let him carry you to me even though it was against hospital protocol. He can be pretty convincing, you know."
"I know. He's pretty convincing when he tells me I have to clean my room," Caroline commented which earned a chuckle.
"Daddy carried you over to me, and as he handed you to me he said – "Itsy-Bitsy, meet your mommy."
Caroline had and "aha" moment. "That's why you like calling me 'Itsy-Bitsy' isn't?" She asked Harm.
"Yes, it is," he replied.
"You can call me that forever, then," she declared.
He kissed the top of her forehead. "Believe me, I will." There was a comfortable silence for a moment before Harm continued. "The day you were born was the first time I really heard your mom sing…like actually sing."
"You never heard Mommy sing before?"
"I heard her occasionally sing along to the radio or karaoke, but this was the very first time I heard her sing acapella. I had to leave you and mom alone for a few minutes because I realized I had to call Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet and Uncle AJ to tell them that you had arrived and that you and Mom were both okay, but when I came back to the room..."
Harm stood just outside of the door to the room his wife and daughter were in, and was just about to walk in when he stopped in his tracks. He heard singing - more specifically he heard Mac singing. It was something he never truly heard her do before and he was mesmerized by the beautiful sound. Silently, he poked his head in the room so he could get a better look.
Mac had Caroline cradled in her arms, and sang softly to her as the newborn focused her eyes on her mother's face.
You're just too good to be true
I can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
The words flowed through the room and Harm couldn't stand in the shadows any longer. He had to make his presence known. "And I can't take my eyes off of either one of you," he said as he walked over towards the bed.
"Harm!" She exclaimed embarrassed. "I didn't know you were there."
It was funny, Mac pondered, that she was embarrassed he caught her singing. She had never been confident in her singing abilities, but why should it matter that he heard her sing to their newborn daughter? This was her husband, her soulmate, her best friend. They had seen each other at their best, worst, and everything in between, she knew she shouldn't be embarrassed. Maybe it's the hormones, she mused.
Mac moved over and patted the empty space on the bed. "Do you think Nurse Beatrice will get mad if we hot bunked it for a while? I just need to be close to you."
Harm toed off his shoes and joined her on the bed. "I think she likes us. Maybe she'll let it slide," he said as he put an arm around Mac, and gently touched Caroline's face with his pointer finger. "You did good today, Ninja Girl," he said as he kissed her temple.
Mac smiled at the baby and then again at him. "It may be too soon to tell, but I don't think she looks like us. I think she looks more like your mom."
"Genetics are fascinating, aren't they?"
"I wonder whose brains she will have."
"Maybe she'll be artsy like my mom, too."
Mac closed her eyes as she rested her head against his shoulder.
"Tired?"
"Yes," she nodded.
"Close your eyes and go to sleep now," he said gently.
"Too happy to sleep. Can you see if Jen is able to check Mattie out of the rehab center for the afternoon tomorrow. I'd really like Mattie to be here as soon as possible. I don't want her to feel left out."
"That's a wonderful idea, and yes I will. Thanks for being such a trooper about Mattie being in our lives."
"I love her, too, Harm. She's part of the family. You would do the same thing if the roles were reversed and it was Chloe who needed us."
She did have a point. "I absolutely would."
"You're a good man, Harmon Rabb." She said as she finally allowed herself to close her eyes and get some sleep.
When he was certain she was asleep, Harm carefully stood up and took Caroline from her arms. He adjusted the blankets and kissed Mac's forehead before sitting down in the chair beside the bed and talking to Caroline. "Hi, there, Itsy-Bitsy," he began. "Let me tell you about what a miracle you are to your mommy and me..."
"That's a really neat story," Caroline declared. "I love it."
"I thought you would," Mac said. "It's as special to us as you are," she finished as she closed the baby book.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can you sing that song to me tonight? Please?"
"Sure, if you want me to."
"I do."
"Does Dad know how to play that song on the guitar?" Mac asked her husband.
"Yes, he does," Harm answered.
"Why don't you start getting ready for bed and Daddy and I will come up to sing to you in a little bit?" Mac suggested.
"Okay!" She exclaimed as she made her way to run up the stairs.
"She's thrilled," Harm mused as he stood from the couch and offered his hand to help Mac before they made their way to the stairs.
"This has been the best day ever!" Caroline declared from the top step with a grin. "I'll get ready for bed real fast."
"I told you she would enjoy the story," Mac smiled.
"I didn't doubt that she would, I just didn't know if it was the best story to tell..."
Something in his tone made her stop in her tracks. "I get the feeling that the birds and the bees wasn't the only reason you didn't want to tell it..."
"It was part of the reason, but there was more," he confirmed. "I didn't know if it would be too difficult for you... for me... for us."
Mac nodded sadly, and closed her eyes briefly. He was talking about the other pregnancy – the one that resulted in the loss of their second baby and almost resulted in the loss of her life.
"I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I'm sorry, Mac."
"I should have realized it would be hard for you, too. I guess I was being selfish in a way."
"No, you weren't," he told her.
"I just love thinking about the day Caroline was born and how grateful I am that everything turned out so well. I still have nightmares about losing Audrey," she admitted. "So, thinking about how happy we were when Caroline was born helps me."
Harm knew they would never move past the loss of Audrey, and that they would only be able to cope the best they can. "I wish you would have told me it helps you," he tugged on her hand and pulled her securely to him. His heart dropped when he heard her admit she still has nightmares, and he mentally kicked himself for being unaware of it. He should have known, he told himself. "I also wish you would wake me up when you have these nightmares."
"There's no reason for us both to lose sleep – just being in the same bed as you helps in ways you can't begin to imagine." She found comfort in his arms and the steady beating of his heart. "I know it's been almost 8 years, but I guess we need to remember that we both still deal with our grief differently. There is nothing wrong with that."
"I love you so much, and the remembering how close I came to losing you and Audrey in the same day is hard for me," his voice cracked with emotion.
"Thank you for fighting for me – for not giving up that day and in the aftermath. Your strength helped me pull through, I know it did."
"We did it together, Mac. Together." She looked up at him, and he leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was slow and sweet at first, but the passion grew and soon it took on a mind of its own.
"Are you guys coming?" Caroline called out from her bedroom. "I'm ready!"
Slowly, the two of them pulled away from each other with a small laugh.
"Yes!" Mac called out. "Dad just has to get his guitar."
"We can pick this up tonight," he whispered huskily into her ear as he brushed past her and into the spare room to grab the guitar.
"Always," she whispered back, seductively,
As Mac walked into Caroline's room, she thought about all of the joys and tragedies she and Harm had been through over the years, and she knew in her soul that he was right – that they were stronger together.
And, no matter what the future may hold, she knew in her heart they could face it together. Together they would always be unstoppable, in both good times and bad times. It had been true for the better part of the last twenty one years, after all.
