Ness Mortmain
-Chapter Two: Well GOT DAMN-
"Well I'm not staying here to be apart of that soap opera besides, I have somewhere else to be. You two go wait upstairs for the bone-headed twits." Jayden said while making his way towards the door
"Why should we have to stay? Ninten and I barely know these people." I retorted
"Because, you will do as I say like always. Unless you two don't care about Tracy, Minnie, and Mimmie." he says giving me a cold stare
FUCK. I hate this damned..thing of evil.
"Fine" I mumble, "How are we getting home then?"
"Rosy." He replies before exiting the house
My life is so hard. Why make it harder? Running a hand through my onyx hair, I take a deep breath.
"Ness!!!" My cousin exclaims socking me on the arm "Don't you think at all?"
"No. I don't think I'm a retarted Asshat Like YOU." Still awaiting on that DNA test that proves I'm related to this idiot.
Ahh Introductions. My name is Ness Mortmain. Asshole and Smartass at ya service. 18 years old and soon-to-be college freshmen. I'd like to think I sexier than most people. Oh, what the hell I AM sexier than most people. Bow down bitches.
My cousin, Ninten Alexander, is a cheap KNOCK-OFF of me. I'm hot. He's well not. Both of us keep a generic getup of a striped shirt (blue and yellow stripes for me, blue,red, and white for him), gray and navy hoodies, with blue jean shorts. Also lucky red hats with blue brims. Yes, I still believe in superstitions. Come at me bitch.
Anyway somehow, this guy manages to exactly like me. Like Twins.
I'm the jack-ass type. While Ninten is the loveable dumbass.
"Whatever, remember our only goal is to keep our only family safe from the devil." the blue-eyed male says
"I know", I grumble back in response.
Okay enough of that depressing shit. This isn't THAT type of fanfiction. I start to head upstairs followed by my black-haired cousin, who fucking trips on the one of the steps. Like I said loveable dumbass.
Holding back a laugh I continue my journey until I step into a large room full of a hella lot of stripes. I mean almost everything has a striped pattern. The beds, the carpets, the walls, got DAMN. Oh god I wanna snoop. I gotta snoop.
The one part about me all my girlfriends hated. SNOPPING. Oh well, fuck them. Welllllllll... I kinda already did but, still fuck em. (except for Paula, she's my favorite ex.)
I start to prod around looking for some kind of secrets. Soon after Ninten wanders in to do the same. Hell, maybe we are related. Either that or he's really nosey.
"BINGO! Ness look at what I found." I hurry to see what he discovered and I double over in hysterical laughter. Because fuck me if that wasn't funny I don't know what is. Guess what Ninten found!?!? A picture of the orange haired twin humping a stuff Barney. Hell no, this shit is pure gold.
"Ness... I can't...go..ON!! " my blue-eyed cousin says in between laughs
"Me...neither!" I say in a similar fashion
Five Mintues later...
After calming down our laughter. We continue to search for more embarrassing stuff. And we find a slew of shit that's probably not viewable for the public eye. From school pictures to my-first-potty pictures. Wooo boy I'm glad Jayden hid our baby pictures from us.
I thought the embarrassment was over. But god has no sympathy for the twins. Because, Ten' and I found fucking diaries. Diaries. Well let's see what they wrote.
Ninten starts to read out of the one with teal stripes after skimming some pages. "Dear Princess P..." who the hell is Princess P?
I motion for Ninten to stop reading for a bit. He gives me a quizzical stare but complies. Pulling out my IPHONE 7 in JET BLACK (again, come at me bitch). Even if Jayden is a colossal douchebag. Being a rich scammer has its perks.
I open safari and start to search Princess P and click on the first thing I see which is a girl in a pink dress. Oh yeah, I know her. Seen her on a meme on instagram. Mario's personal whore.
"Oh the whore of the mushroom kingdom? Should have known" Ninten says leaning over my shoulder to the what I was doing
The Who of the What now? Ninten is such a dork. Again, still clueless on how I'm related to this thing people call a person.
"Whatever. Continue with thou humiliation. Dear Cuzuth"
The fuck did I say? I'm such a nerd...
Stifling a laugh, he continues to read...
"I had something called a wet-dream last night. (I googled it). But the thing is, it had nothing to do with you..."
15 Minutes Later
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the literal fuckkkkkkkkkkk did I just hear.
Ninten and I just found out about a bisexual wet dream. I start to say how weird and hot that is but two males enter the room.
Well this is AKWARD AS FUCK
Sorry for the long wait. Just came back from my vacation in England. I'll make it up by working on the new chapter after I hit 10 reviews.
Replies
PinkStrawberry16~Thankss. I'll try to update more. When I spotted your review it made me smile!
Guest(1)~ I'm trying to make this fic flashed out and funny. Thanks for reviewing with good feedback. :)
Sirius1696~You will know more soon! ; )
Guest(2)~ That was my favorite part too! XD
*One of my favorite fanfics updated today its called "Plot Twist" by DoubleFelix go check him out*
