Help Wanted

The Koopalings arrived in the city in about half an hour. There were people walking this way and that, cars driving up and down the streets, and an air of busyness and compactness in the tight streets.
"So, where do we start?" Morton asked, however, none of his siblings had an answer for him right away.
As if a sign sent from above, a stray newspaper blew by and attached itself to Ludwig. He pulled it from his face and read 'Want Ads' in large bold print on the paper. His brothers and sister crowded around him to see as well.
"Ooh, ooh!" Lemmy cheered, hopping up and down to get a better view over his siblings. "What's that? What's that?"
"It's a list of available jobs." Ludwig explained, his eyes scanning the paper analytically. "I suppose this will help speed things along."
"Oh! What about that one!" Wendy said, pointing to a rather large ad featuring an beautiful woman and various cosmetics. "VANESSA is a huge and famous company! I'll bet they totes have tons of high paying jobs that are absolutely fabulous!"
Ludwig shook his head. "We're not skilled with makeup."
"Well, it's not just makeup. They have tons of different departments. Like, clothes, modeling, and jewelry and stuff. Anyone with even the smallest sense of fashion can find a job at VANESSA."
"In any case, I still don't think it's a good idea. None of us have an eye for fashion, especially you."
Wendy took great offense to this. "HEY! I do to!"
Larry snorted. "Have you looked in a mirror? Seriously, you look like a clown threw up on you."
Wendy proceeded to smack Larry with her purse while the others continued.
"How about that one?" Roy pointed at a job listing for an airline pilot.
Ludwig sighed. "We don't even have driver's licenses, much less a license to fly a plane."
"Iggy wants to do this one!" Iggy yelled, poking at a specific ad. Ludwig recoiled when he saw it.
"NO! Absolutely not! I wouldn't even trust myself with such a job, much less you! We are NOT working at a nuclear power plant!"
Iggy moaned in dejection, but didn't push any further. Ludwig straightened out the paper and glanced at the different ads until his eyes settled on one.
"Here's one: a job at a fast food restaurant, McGoomba's. That sounds like a reasonable start."
His siblings groaned. "Do we really hafta?" they asked in unison.
"Yes." Ludwig stated, folding up the paper and tucking it into his shell. "We are not qualified for any higher positions, and this will be a fine start to learning about actually having a job. Even if it does suck..."
"Fine." Roy sighed. "I'll do it. But I won't like it."
"Excellent. Let us be on our way then." Ludwig commanded, and the other Koopalings followed him.
"Ugh, I'm gonna hate this job..." Larry whined.

7Z7Z7Z7

Several minutes later, the gang found the McGoomba's and entered. They walked right up to the counter and spoke to the cashier.
"Hey, welcome to Buger Koopa, may I take your order?" he said in a very bored voice.
"Um, I thought this was McGoomba's?" Wendy asked.
"Whatever." the koopa groaned. "You gonna order or what?"
"Actually, we are here to apply for a job." Ludwig said formally.
"All of you?"
"Yes."
"Well, congratulations, you got the jobs, 'cause I quit." he said, taking off his hat and placing it on Ludwig's head. "Talk to Kim. She'll tell you what to do."
With that he walked out of the building, a slight spring in his step.
"Uh...okay?" Morton said in a confused manner. "That was easier than I expected."
"I guess we gotta talk to this Kim chick next, right?" Roy said, walking through the door behind the counter.
A Toad girl with straight blond hair and a black spotted cap in her late teens saw the group as they walked in. "Wha-hey! This area is for employees only!"
"We are employees!" Iggy said jubilantly, thrusting his hand out. "Just got hired! Nice ta meet'cha!"
Suddenly, Larry pushed him out of the way, sending Iggy flying face first into one of the fryers.
"Well, hello there!" he said, his voice slurred, hearts practically emanating from him. "I'm Larry. Who might YOU be?"
The girl backed away from him as if he were the plague itself. "Kim, the manager. Now back off!"
"Ah, you are Kim?" Ludwig asked, trying to hold Larry back, but to no avail. "We were told to see you. Are you the one who will be explaining our duties?"
As Lemmy giggled about Ludwig's use of the word 'duty' and Wendy tried to pull a spasming Iggy from the fryers, Kim facepalmed. "Ugh, again? Why do I always get stuck with the crazies..." Then she stood up straighter and addressed all of the Koopalings. "Ok, listen up! I'll show you freaks around and what your jobs are. Just listen and do what you're supposed to. Got it?"
Larry immediately saluted. "Yes, ma'am!" The other Koopalings agreed less enthusiastically.
After Larry had been persuaded to stay at least five feet away from Kim at all times and Iggy's face had been removed from the hot grease, the tour began. Kim assigned Ludwig and Larry to be the cashiers up front. Lemmy, Morton, and Roy were to be cooks. Wendy and Iggy were in charge of the drive-thru.
"Ok, everybody know their jobs now?" The Koopalings nodded. "Good. Now, I'll be in the back room taking care of some paper work. If you have any questions, PLEASE, hesitate to ask!"
With that, Kim left the Koopalings alone.
Her first mistake.

7Z7Z7Z7

Ludwig and Larry took their positions at the registers. Almost immediately, a customer came up to Larry.
"Hello! Just a cheeseburger and a medium soda, please!" she said.
"You got it! That'll be 45 coins, please!"
The woman was shocked. "What? 45 coins? But on the menu it says 15 coins!"
Larry waved her comment aside. "Look, lady, I don't set the prices here. But if you're willing to haggle, then I'll play along. 40 coins."
"You're crazy!"
"Ooh, you drive a hard bargain! Ok, 35 coins, but that's my final offer!"
"No way! Forget it!" she shrieked and stormed out of the restaurant.
Ludwig chuckled beside him. "Did you seriously think that would work, Larry?"
"Hey, it was worth a shot! And we aren't gonna be making enough money if we just sell small! We gotta make big money, and fast! Or else we'll be spending the rest of our lives in the..." Larry gulped. "...service industry..."
Ludwig shook his head. "We won't make any money with the way you're working. Slow and steady wins the race. Remember that."
Soon another customer entered and approached Ludwig.
"Hello, sir, and welcome to McGoomba's. May I take your order?"
The rotund man adjusted his thick glasses and took a deep breath, as if he were sizing up an enemy. Then he began to rattle off his order. "I want a double triple mega Flopper with no pickles, extra cheese, and extra onions. Make sure you cook the beef with extra juices. I want my bottom bun cooked so that it's a light brown, but NOT the top bun. The onions should also be diced, not sliced, and I want the mustard UNDER the patty, not on top. Hold the lettuce and tomato. Oh, and I want a small order of fries. You know, I'm trying to cut back..."
Ludwig's jaw had dropped considerably. The man had spoken rapidly and he couldn't remember all he had said. "U-um...I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat that?"
The man repeated what he had just said, although even quicker this time, clearly impatient. Ludwig tried writing down everything he said, but was having a hard time doing so. Larry was snickering all the while.

7Z7Z7Z7

Meanwhile, Iggy began to take someone's order at the drive-thru.
"Hey hey hey, welcome! What can I do ya fer!?" he shouted into the mic. The Goomba in the drive-thru winced from the high pitched noise.
"Uh, I'll take a Flopper with a large Dr. Salt." he said, feeling a headache forming.
"Okeydokey, you got it! Pull ahead to the next window and get your money ready!" Iggy shrieked again.
The Goomba drove ahead to the window, where Iggy showed up. He flung the window open and leaned out, far enough that he nearly tumbled out and into the man's car.
"That'll be 12 coins!" he said, his face very close to the driver.
Terrified, the man, flung the cash at Iggy, who, unfazed, grabbed it and popped back to his position behind the window. "Thanks! Now go get yer food!"
As the driver pulled ahead, still a bit traumatized from the ordeal, Morton approached Wendy.
"Here's that guy's order." he said, handing the bag to her. She shrieked and jumped away.
"What? What's wrong?" he asked, confused.
"EwewewewEW! I am NOT touching that!" Wendy screamed.
"What? Why not?"
"It's greasy and disgusting and...EW! I HATE fast food!"
Morton groaned. "You're not even touching it, just the bag! Look, I'm gonna leave it here. Just give it to the guy, will ya?"
Morton placed the bag on a table beside the window and left. Wendy stared at it in fear and loathing.
When the car pulled up by the window, she took a deep breath and sighed. "Ugh, I hate my life..."
In one quick motion, she snatched the bag, flung the window open, and tossed the bag into the car's open window. The hot food inside flew out and landed all over the driver, causing him to scream and accidentally slam his foot down on the gas pedal. The car lurched forward and zoomed straight, until it smashed into a parked car ahead of it.
"EWEWEW! #GROSS!" Wendy freaked out, immediately rushing towards the nearest sink, not even noticing the car accident.

7Z7Z7Z7

Roy watched her run by. "Sheesh, what a princess..." he grumbled, flipping a burger over.
He heard grunting near him and turned to see Lemmy hopping up and down, trying to reach a bag of buns on a shelf high above him.
"Lemmy, what're you doin'?" Roy asked.
"I'm...trying...to grab...this!" Lemmy grunted, still hopping futilely.
Roy smirked and cracked his knuckles and neck. "Heh, stand back shrimp. Let yer big bro handle this."
Roy pushed Lemmy out of the way and tried grabbing the sack himself. However, even he couldn't reach it.
"Grr...just...takes a little...effort..."
After many failed attempts, Roy punched the wall out of frustration. This caused the shelf to break, and the sack to fall down onto a spatula balancing on the side of a counter. It flew into the air and landed in the fryers, sending a shower of hot grease into the air which landed on Roy. Screaming in pain, he stumbled back and bumped into Lemmy. Lemmy pushed him away in annoyance, and Roy was sent towards the grill. He tried to put his hands down to steady himself, but they only met searing pain from the burning hot surface. Roy began to flail around until he placed his hands into the nearest liquid...which just happened to be the grease from the fryers.
Lemmy grabbed some fries and watched as this painful cycle continued for a few more minutes, not sensing any reason to help his brother out.

7Z7Z7Z7

Ludwig rushed back and forth, trying to satisfy all of the customers who had suddenly all decided to visit McGoomba's at the same exact time. At least twenty angry, impatient people were shouting orders at him, demanding faster service, and complaining. Meanwhile, Larry was on his break, which Ludwig found was really just an excuse for him to slink away from his post to play with two of the kid's toys, pretending that they were him and Kim on a date.
"I said I wanted extra ketchup-"
"I don't have all day-"
"Why are there pickles in my drink and ice cubes in my burger-"
Finally, Ludwig had had enough.
"SILENCE!" he shouted. "Silence, all of you fat, calorie inhaling pigs! I will not take your damn orders! If anything, that is a favor towards you and your health! Now, if you obese ANIMALS will PLEASE shut your mouths for five minutes, I might just spare all of your pathetic lives! Which, might I remind you, won't last long anyways if you keep eating this garbage!"
At first, the customers were shocked, but then regained their fury. They shouted obscenities and insults at him until they had all filed out of the restaurant.
Ludwig collapsed onto the counter, covered in sweat, burger juice, and french fry grease. A migraine was already settling in.
"Hey, you okay, Ludwig?" Wendy asked, almost placing a hand on his shoulder, but recoiling when she noticed how gross he was.
"Do I look okay?" he asked, his voice muffled by the counter.
"Aww, does somebody need some cheering up?" she asked mockingly. "I got just the thing to turn that frown upside down: a Happy Meal!"
Ludwig stood up and glared at his sister. "Would you shut up? I am not in the mood for your idiocy!"
Wendy glared back at him with equal anger. "Don't get mad at me! It was totally your idea that we work here! If you're gonna blame anyone for this crappy day, blame yourself!"
"I'm the only one who has been doing their job correctly, despite loathing it the most! I can rightfully blame the rest of you for slacking off!"
As the two argued, the Goomba from earlier entered, injured and still covered in burger ingredients. He did not look happy.
"You two!" he yelled, startling the siblings. "Where is your manager?"
"U-um...i-is there a problem, sir?" Ludwig asked.
"You bet there is! Now, where's your manager!?"
"I'll go get her..." Wendy said. By now, all of the other Koopalings had joined them, wondering what was wrong. A few minutes later, she was back with a confused Kim.
"Is there a problem?" she asked.
"Yeah!" the Goomba responded. "I can safely say that the service here stinks! I nearly had my eardrums blown by an obnoxious employee, nearly had a heart attack, experienced third degree burns, and crashed my car! And the worst part was, I never got my Dr. Salt drink! All because of your horrible service and terrible employees!"
Kim was shocked. She quickly shot the Koopalings a death glare, then turned to the man again, apologetic. "I'm terribly sorry sir. We'll do everything we can to compensate-"
"No, you won't. Because you don't work here anymore! You're fired!"
She looked at him oddly, then said, "Uh, you can't fire me."
"As a matter of fact, I can." The Goomba took out a card and tossed it to her. She read it aloud.
"Gary McGoomba, C.E.O. of McGoomba's? You're THE McGoomba!?"
"In the flesh!" he stated. "And that means that you, AND you're incompetent employees, are all FIRED!"
Kim growled in rage and tore the card up. "You know what? Whatever! I hated this job anyways! So **** you, McGoomba! **** you and you're ******* company! I hope it freaking rots in a pile of **** along with you and all of it's ******* mindless employees!"
The she turned to the Koopalings, possibly even angrier at them. "And YOU ******* *****! This is all you're ******* fault! If you freaks hadn't shown up, I'd still have a ******* job! So **** all of you, too!"
The Koopalings were shocked by her excessive swearing. All except Larry, who muttered to himself, "Ooh, I like it when they're feisty! Rrowr!"

Shortly after, Kim and the Koopalings were thrown out of the restaurant, jobless once more.

"So, uh, I know this seems like a bad time," Larry began. "But would you like to go on a date with me, Kim?"
She shot him one more glare before shoving him to the ground and storming away, muttering angrily to herself the whole time.
"Heh! I'm sure she'll come around!" he commented, standing up and joining his siblings.
"So, how much money did we make?" Roy asked blankly.
"12 coins." Ludwig replied. "Total."

Previous Debt:
99,999,995

Coins Earned:
12

Current Debt:
99,999,983

"Well, I'd say that all the gold we can milk from this joint." Iggy said, stretching. "Let's move onto a new job, eh?"
"Agreed." Morton said. With that, the Koopalings left, back to square one again.