A soft light from the fireplace crackled and popped as I sat in front of it, my cheeks flush from the heat. Just a mere touch to them would make you think I had a fever. It was a quiet night tonight, the reason, I wonder of often. Honestly, they scared me. That sickly pale man who wanted me in his harem, it scared me horribly. I felt like a mouse trapped in the cages that messenger hawks would pluck their food from. Was I to be mere food from a hawk, to be trapped in a cage?

I brought my hands to my overheated cheeks, gently rubbing my tingling hands against them. My Hijab was twisted around my lap, my skirt rumpled as I sat. I had hoped that Maria would still be up, for she always helps me when I felt the need to get up at strange hours of the night. She always allowed me to talk to her about the life she lived in Europe, and about the greatness of the Assassins. And sometimes… although it didn't happen often, we talked about Templars. It felt sinful when we talked about them, and I peered around curiously wondering if any of the Assassins were listening to us. What if they told my Father I was talking about the Templars so casually? Maria would tell me of how they allowed her freedom and protection.

A door opened quietly, and I bothered not at all to look towards it. The footsteps were silent, and I thought it would be my Brothers, yet I stared at the thriving fire. The body that plumped down beside me was clothed in grey robes, and I glanced to his body. It was not Imad and nor was it Aquil.

"My name is Darim." His hands brought down his hood to show his brown hair. His facial structure was different than most boys my age. Most likely because Maria was from Europe. She was different from all other woman. She didn't have the same skin tone and face as the others woman and girls around here.

"Hakim." I grew a smile then, my hair falling off of my shoulders as I leaned forward. It was very silent then. The fire illuminating our faces just a little. My eyes were drooping, yet I felt wide awake. Something amazing was happening, and yet I held no part in its forthcoming.

"Why are you here alone? Why are you not home?" The question popped the silence quickly, and my head tilted towards Darims with silence.

"My Mother is boring my Father another child."

A nod acknowledged my statement, a silent prayer to Allah was said under his breath. A small breath released from my mouth as I listened to the prayer, knowing it was for good will. It was very silent, and yet I didn't notice. What happened when we spoke? Would the silence in the air dissipate far away from here, and we would speak comfortably like Maria and I would? I don't believe so.

"Why do you come to the fortress so much? Your Father shouldn't be needing letters almost every day."

I glanced to Darim then, a smile ghosting across my lips as the corner of my mouth tugged up. I moved the Hijab around my lap, twiddling with the cloth that was spit upon and thrown across the sandy ground while I drew in the sand.

"I enjoy the company of your Mother." I paused a moment, thinking over my next words, for maybe I might offend him. "And the Assassins, they… interest me." I looked at him with happiness in my eyes. "When I was young, all I wanted to do was cut off my ring finger and run wild with my brothers on horses."

"Why in the world would you want to kill like we do?"

I was taken aback by that, my body freezing with a slight shiver, even though my body was being horribly warmed by the fire.

"I was raised like that, I was a small baby on my Mothers back when I first witnessed a runaway novice being killed. I know nothing other but Assassins and Templars. I fear the day when the Templars strike the brotherhood down completely, but I live for the day when the Assassins strike down the Templars." When I glanced at Darim from my hands, he was attentive and curious. "It is all I have ever known, yet if it were to all disappear from my life, I don't know what I would do."

I grew wary over my rambling, I learned recently that woman were not supposed to speak up too much. And although I wished to be courageous and different like Maria, I couldn't help but feel the ways of woman being beaten into my brain.

"I wouldn't know what to do either."

Startled, I looked towards Darim, who had woken me from my absent minded conversation with myself. Honestly, I hadn't expected him to respond to me. As if I was below him, like a speck of dirt on his feet. I opened my mouth to voice this concern like I had with Maria, but it was caught in my throat as a grey cloaked Assassin opened the door and looked towards me.

"Hanan send word that you should return home immediately."

Soon the idea of something amazing happening died inside of me, despair quickly consuming me.


It was raining, it never rained in Masyaf. It was strange, I was walking and the next moment, water was consuming me. The wetness coating my hair and making it feel stringy. The older woman of the town would usually call me a spit fire, or an outcast since I was different than all young girls. But if they were not huddled inside their houses, petting their grandchildren's heads. They would have seen me with a dreary expression, water dripping from my cheeks like tears. They would have called me broken, a true woman now.

Alas, I refused to be changed from what I was. So I threw away my fear and despair into the rain, and opened the door to our house. It was an eerie sight, the way the shadows curved and moved from the candles being moved by the air blowing them around. The smell of iron was in the air, and it was unknown to me if it was to be the smell of life or death. Everything was quiet within the house, and I wondered if maybe they were cooing over my new sibling? No… no. The air was too strange, something was terribly wrong, and I had no idea what it was, even though I had a good idea to what it would be. I stepped further in, afraid that I was going to disturb something or other. What I found was strange, for I had never seen the acts of child birth before, only heard about it.

There was blood coating a cloth, and some of it was splattered on the floor. I saw a young woman washing her hands in a bucket, her hands moving in quick shaky movements. She was shivering horribly, and it was obvious this was not her place right now. I glanced around and found no one. But as soon as I noticed that, the woman washing her hands stood up and walked towards a doorway with a blanket over it and motioned me towards it. I nodded quite quickly and looked down at her hands. They were tinged with pink, and redness was drying around her fingernails, the red clinging to it like a failure to be reminded of.

I pulled the curtain aside and moved into the room. Mother was dozing silently, her head turned to the side, and for once, I saw her light brown air billowed around her. A quietness was in the air, I could see her Hijab lying beside her on the mass of pillows and blankets she was lying upon. My eyes were darting everywhere, there was no baby resting in her arms. So I took it a step further and went to the hammock that looked as if a bundle was there. I was correct, and peeked to see the tiny thing moving its arms. It was a boy, and I flushed a bit when seeing his genitals. I'd never seen that before… and honestly… it was weird, an anomaly.

I glanced quickly around, searching for Father, he was the one who called me here in the first place. Then where was he? Well… it was to be expected, Imad and Aquil told me men weren't supposed to be in the room of a women when she was giving birth. I sighed, and checked if Mother was still asleep, satisfied that she was getting rest, I picked up the baby who gurgled at me. A soft smile blossomed over my face over it, yet when I shifted my hands, it connected with something that was not normal. It was a small bump. And it was strange, wasn't there a small indentation to where both sides of the back met? Or what about a spine? Nervously, I felt under my new siblings back, gently flipping him over and seeing the strange bump that was enflamed skin, my eyes went wide when I saw the split that was causing the skin to be inflamed. Horror washed over me, and I moved the baby close to my chest, flipping him over in the process. I trotted silent to the young woman to no longer find her there. The only remnant of her being there was the red tinged water and blood on the cloth and floor.

When the door opened, I found Father standing there with a grim expression on his mouth as he pulled his hood down.

"Give me the baby Hakim."

My eyes glanced down at my Brother, his eyes wide as he gurgled and moved his hands. I drew him closer to my chest, wanting desperately to protect him. The air Father was giving off was keen to that when I saw him head off to a mission.

"No."

He took a step forward, and I took one back.

"Give him to me now Hakim."

"What is his name?!" I cried out, fear sprouting out of my body in tremendous amounts.

"He will have no name, for his death is soon."

I heard Mothers cry come from the room right next to us. It startled me that I fumbled with the baby, and Father darted and quickly scooped him from me. I reached out and sprawled myself against the floor.

"Father! What are you going to-!"

A spray of blood splatted against his robes and my own, and my sibling's breath left him from his mouth, his soul going with it. Nothing hit my ears then, Mothers cries deafened in my now mute ears. The dead babe was set upon the blood splattered cloth, the white robes that ended his life billowing and leaving the presence. My heart dropped and my heart thumped with a sound that would be like an empty drum. My hands desperately wrapped the bleeding body who was filled with death inside the cloth. His body was brought close upon my chest and I cried silently.

I don't know who had snapped me out of it, but they tried to take the baby from me, and I scrambled away outside of the house, the water washing parts of the strained blood from my cheek that was resting upon his limp head. The sky was still dark, and I hurried toward my salvation. Not the fortress this time, no… the river that ran by Masyaf in a canyon. I hurried down the slick slope, slipping on to the point where I was covered in clay. My body ached with grief and coldness.

And yet I wondered why. I had not known this baby for years like my own brothers. Yet, I felt lost, like I was supposed to help him grown up.

I reached the end of the slope when the sun began to rise, meaning I had been wandering the slope for hours on end. It was at this time I began digging into the mud, my tears coating my face like the rain had today when I felt excitement and despair walking down from the fortress.

I dug it shallow. And set him down, hastily throwing dirt upon him. The rain stopped, and yet the mud still seemed slick with the clouds tears. When I had finished, the dirt looked like a stomach that had bloated out for pregnancy, and I began crying again.

I cried heading up the slope, I cried when I saw my Mother staring at the hammock.

But most of all, I became a mess when I told Maria what happened, and she took me into her arms and cradled me as I cried.


Of the many lesson I learned in life, that day, I learned of the true meaning of Death, and I grew scared at how quickly life could come and go.


Anyone noticed I specifically make sure that all the stupid/dirty work goes towards grey cloaked Assassins?(Aka lower rank) Yeahhhhh, I made sure that that was ingrained very heavy in the story.

I really enjoy writing this story, mainly because it's trying to break boundaries that haven't been broken in the time Hakim is in. And if you know of history and how it treated women. If you're looking for one of those fanfics where they conquer it and become almighty and deliver woman from men and they live happily after, than go find another story. Honestly, if you don't like how they're treated, then off with ya! Read an Ezio and lady Assassin story with the girls name being Bella or something.

Ehhh, good ol mini rant.. hehe..

Also, I liked listening to the Soundtrack from the game called The Path while writing this. It's a very symbolic game that I would enjoy getting my hands on if I bought things on the internet..heh. If you are unfamiliar to the game called The Path, it's made by the group called Tale of Tales who also made Endless Forest. (Thank god Endless Forest is free.) Those two games, which are the only ones I am familiar with; are wonderfully made! I just re-downloaded Endless Forest and I'm still very impressed with it.

Well! Thanks for reading, and have a good time!

If you have any questions about this story and or about my other stories, feel free to message me or leave a review.

P.S Spina bifida is what happened