serah-pounce-a-bell . tumblr . com

(also on AO3)


Mirror Maze

D O S : S O D

...

Claustrophobia.

The walls were closing in around them. Darkness crawling, creeping, scratching at his back, over the scars he wanted to deny even to himself. The silence eating away the strength he needed to speak, to bring some piece of reality. Anders was going to hyperventilate if he didn't get himself in control. The memories of his time in solitary confinement still fresh, would always be fresh, in his mind. The mage trembled and not from the cold.

He had Mr. Wiggums back in solitary at least. Here, he had…

"Cullen, I know four different ways to get into the Circle that don't include these Maker damned walls crushing us", he rambled.

"And you refused to tell me where they were. Shut up, we don't want to be heard".

"If we go back now, I'll even tell you about that fifth secret passage".

"I thought all of them were secret".

"Yeah well… That one is special in the way it doesn't include these Maker damned walls crushing us".

But the walls weren't. The stairways they had walked for what it felt like hours were between the inner and outer wall of the Circle, and Anders knew it as he had used them before. Not for this long, though. Justice's energy flowing around his very being was a presence comfortable enough to get him to calm himself. Not even in his darkest moment did the Spirit fail to do his best for Anders.

It made the mage feel even more guilty of the corruption he bestowed upon Justice, because the spirit, spirit, was not made to deal with his mortal rage nor the Warden Taint. Everything he seemed to try for a good cause ended in the worst way possible: helping Karl, Karl dead. Helping Justice, Vengeance. Helping the mages… He knew, they knew, it could only end one way.

Sooner than later, they would be no more.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Not really, Cullen".

"Wouldn't expect it any other way from you".

He was almost thankful for Cullen's company. But not really. Still, having someone to make some small talk came in handy.

"So… Bethany".

"We are not doing this. Tell me you're not doing this".

"C'mon, give a man some material to work on! You were always too righteous and too coward to do what the worst of your kind does to mages".

Anders knew his jibber jabber was nothing but his defense mechanism in action. He also knew he felt sorry for Cullen and his hopeless crushes. It wouldn't end like the last one if everything went according to the very suspicious plan the Templar had, though.

"… Thanks? I guess I could say the same about you". Can he? Justice's voice doubted. Cullen continued, "I can't… look at her without remembering Surana… I… Surana was… We… She deserved better. Bethany deserves better".

Not all templars my ass, Anders thought, chosing to keep his mouth shut for once. Even those that considered themselves the very best and well-behaved among other Templars only were so because they saw good in just one or two mages, like they were the real abnormalities. What about the rest? Did they deserved to die in the place of those the Templar favored? Of course, Surana had died, not even the best-loved were safe. No mage was.

Anders wondered, making himself think of something else, how had Bethany been lately. The last he heard of her was that she loved helping the younger mages, that she liked being in the Circle.

She does not know better, Justice argued.

Doesn't she?

Anders knew how she felt. He'd lived on the run too, he still did. But he also had known the warmth of a home, the happiness of a complete family and going to sleep without fear. Back then, before being Anders.

When he was just another Anders and had a name.

"How long until we reach her?"

"Just a couple of floors more, there's a room not many people use at this hour-..."

"The clothes deposit?"

"Yes, how did you… Stupid question".

"I told you I knew this place".

And he had at least two maps of the Gallows, with its many entrances and exits. Smuggling mages was no easy task and he did most of the leg work on his own. The lack of physical support stopped him from being more assertive in his movements, but one body moved easily and hiding himself without worrying for another had been preferable.

Anders also refused to bring another down with him.

"We're here", said Cullen, facing a wall. Obviously a fake one, made of wood a movable, as Cullen pushed it aside. It probably appeared to be a closet from the other side, Anders had seen trapdoors alike.

The room was round and so dark, no windows. Empty.

What if.

In that very moment, Anders knew it was a trap. He had known all the time to be honest with himself but what if it wasn't what if something really happens to Bethany I can deal with them all of them. Before the mage could even move a finger, Smite was casted upon him. Justice screamed before the silence of being cut from the Fade ate him too.

The flame of a suddenly lit torch brought light to the room, allowing Anders to finally see he was surrounded by Templars, with Cullen at his back closing the passage.

I told me so, he thought.

"So..." Anders managed to say, out of air and forcing himself to keep his body uptight, "A nice surprise party for me. Cullen, you didn't have to, it's not even my birthday".

"I did. I did have to do this, Anders". Cullen's voice was heavy with something another man from another place and time would have called remorse. "If I didn't, Bethany would be made Tranquil in your place".

He could have cried until his eyes dried off, screamed until his throat bled and pulled on every hair on his head but Anders fought against himself with everything he had. He was not going down like that. I've gotten out of worse, much worse, haven't I?

"And you would fed me to these dogs easily, no matter I'm the only one in this Maker damned city that gives a shit about us", Anders said, resentment present in every syllable. Some of the Templar rounding him laughed and their laugh even sounded like barks. Fear clouded his eyes more that the looming darkness did from before and all Templar became monstrous silhouettes dancing at the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"I cared! I tried to help!" Cullen screamed, "I tried and tried and you and your kind has done nothing more than show me the world would be better without magic".

"Has your pretty Templar world been better without Surana?", Anders bit back. All the looks save for his went to Cullen. Oh, how he wanted to look at that pale and sallow face with bigger eye bags than his own, a clear hint he hadn't slept in Maker know how long. No rest for the wicked.

"I told you not to bring her into any of this", his voice nothing but a growl that came out more similar to a puppy's whimper.

"Never been any good at doing what I'm told, sorry".

"It shows", said a third voice. A figure moved to stand right in front of him and pierced him with a pair of eyes so cold and so blue they rivaled Justice's.

"Ah, Meredith. Are you my not-birthday present? Or maybe the one behind this nice surprise for me. How thoughtful".

Meredith Stannard, Kinght-Commander, regarded him with her head high, shoulders squared and feet apart. Her pose reeked superiority and looked right at Anders like he was a mere wounded animal. The mage refused to look down or at anything but her eyes.

"I am, aren't I? Always giving every man and mage what they deserve". Her voice, colder than her eyes, made him shiver. The effects from the Smite could be felt in full force at that moment, as if her voice had any kind of control over them.

"Because mages aren't men". He defied. Meredith seemed unaffected by his sarcasm.

"Indeed. There may still be hope for you, apostate".

"Nice to see we agree on something. Now, if you could just agree a little more with me on how your men treat mine, it would be great".

"Or maybe you could agree not to cause any more trouble to us and… yours. I've been informed of your latest activities and it would be to the advantage of both of us if you stopped".

"Not going to happen as long as mages suffer and I breathe, my most sincere apology", kill me, kill me if you must but don't you dare to take the Fade from me.

"That can be arranged. Cullen, with me".

Anders heard the man approach but the hit to the back of his knees was caught him off guard. He fell but never stopped from looking back at Meredith until Cullen appeared on his line of sight. Anders spoke to him with a laugh between his words. The situation was hilarious, with Anders at Cullen's feet, just where the Templar had been at the start.

"Going to defile your hands with more mage blood, Cullen? Wasn't hers enough?"

"Ignore him, Knight-Captain. Those are nothing but empty words coming from an empty vessel for demons".

Not really empty though. Anders kept speaking, anything to draw a reaction from him.

"Why don't you tell your Commander how you went easily to the floor when you got me? How you cried at the feet of this demon vessel for another of us. Don't you know that today you kill me for Bethany but who will take the hit in her place tomorrow? And the day after that?".

Cullen's lower lip trembled more than Anders' hands. He had him. Of course, Meredith just had to speak again.

"As I said, nothing but empty words and lies from you, apostate. The Knight-Captain is not going to kill you, your death is of no interest to us".

No.

"Do not worry", she said, "you will not feel a thing after this. Captain, you know what to do".

No…

He cried then, tears running down his face, but did not look away from Cullen while he got closer. Don't you dare look away from me, don't you dare stop my face from hunting you at night along hers. Don't you dare you-…

Anders screamed.

He was no more.

...