Here's chapter 2! This is where we see how clueless Near really is about girls (and why there are some things that he probaly shouldn't know). Enjoy! :)


2

Near sat back inside his headquarters. He was completely embarrassed with his encounter with Natasha, but he still wanted to see her again. He thought to himself while working on his Natasha Lego. Rester was out shopping for groceries.

"Why did I get so nervous around her?" he thought, "She's just another girl, right? Then again, I haven't really been around a lot of girls before. Doesn't matter, I still made a fool of myself and now Optimus Prime is headless and missing an arm. I wonder if…"

"Lidner, what do you know about girls?" Lidner starts trying to hold back laughter and walks out of the room. Near turns to Giovanni.

"What do you know—"

"Don't ask me." Giovanni replied. Suddenly, Near gets an idea.

"Giovanni, get Mello on the line!" Giovanni dialed a number even though he had a pretty bad feeling about this. Mostly because he wasn't sure how Near was going to react to the information. It rang, and Mello answered.

"What is it Near?" complained Mello. This was the last thing he wanted to do, but Near was desperate. He took a deep breath, then asked the big question.

"What do you know about girls?" You could hear Mello chuckling on the other line.

"So, 'The Great Near', L's heir, the little kid I knew in England, has fallen in love, huh?" Near snapped the other arm off Optimus Prime.

"He's mocking me!"

"So, I'm assuming nobody told you about the stork and the birds and bees yet, right?"

"Stork? Birds and Bees? Uh, no. I don't think so." So, Mello explained the whole shebang about where babies come from, what happens when girls reach a certain age, and all that other stuff in the videos and books and more. When he finishes about five or so hours later, Near has a look of "wow" frozen on his face. Giovanni looked a bit concerned that this was too much information for Near to handle at the moment. Rester is also in shock holding the groceries in the corner thinking, "I'm gone for five minutes and you let the kid get hardcore information on porno!?!" Near finally speaks.

"…………wow……that was……very……detailed…Mello."

"Everything you need to know. Just don't get carried away." Mello hangs up.

***

At Mello's task force, one of his homies approaches him.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"It's just some stupid kid I knew once asking me about girls. He was never really that popular with them, anyway." The homie foolishly decided to take this opportunity to tease Mello.

"So he didn't get enough experience from constantly beating you?" At this, Mello turned around and shot the homie. All the other homies stared as the body fell to the floor.

"Anyone else want to comment?" Mello asked. Everyone quickly looked away or scattered. Mello sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. "Didn't think so." He said.

***

Back at Near's base, Near is still in shock for at least another minute. Giovanni starts looking a bit concerned.

"Uh, sir, you OK?" he asked. Near still stared straight ahead, but he somehow found his voice.

"………Don't………ever………leave me alone………with a girl………ever." Was all that Near could say.


Yes, I know that it's a little short, but there's chapter 2!

Coming up in chapter 3,

Near may still be desperate to learn about girls.
Who will he ask next?

Please Review!