King of Duelists – Chapter Two
"Well, that was annoying of you. Especially playing her. Her speeches always make me break out in hives," Blue Eyes complained. He wasn't kidding. Bright pink and purple spots erupted all over his scaly, gleaming, white hide. Dark Magician grinned quite unrepentantly.
"Harumph!" Blue-Eyes harumphed. His claws poised over his cards indecisively. Finally, he pounced on his chosen card and slammed it down on the dueling field in irritation. "Seto will make your cowardly Yugi whimper with his 'Intimidating Monologue'! It takes a round to charge to its full effect, but we can start listening to him now."
Seto immediately thrust his hips out even more than they were usually (it's a wonder he doesn't over-balance and fall over backwards, or simply snap his spine when he does that) and started pontificating at length about how skilled and powerful he was compared to wimpy Yugi. A somewhat puzzled frown crossed Yugi's face. He rolled his eyes when Seto took a deep breath and ranted on.
"Oh, geez, Blue. Now you've gone and set that pompous buffoon of yours off on purpose!" Dark Magician groaned. "It doesn't intimidate my stalwart Yugi -- it just bores him, and irritates me."
Blue-Eyes sat back on his tail again and purred. (Yes, purred. I know he's a dragon. I want him to purr. I think it's cute. Deal.)
"Oh, that's the end of my turn," Blue-Eyes noted. "Lovely, isn't he? Bring tears to my eyes whenever Seto lists off his many accomplishments." Blue-Eyes heaved a contented sigh. "Just wait until next round when he can attack!"
"Insufferable windbag," Dark Magician muttered. "I can see how 'accomplished' he must be to inherit riches and a successful corporation. It must take consummate skill to achieve such greatness!"
Blue-Eyes beamed, then narrowed his, uhm, blue eyes. "Oh, you are being sarcastic. Grrr!"
"Well, since you liked Téa so much, how about I bring another of Yugi's friends to the field? I play Joey and activate his 'Inspiring Monologue'. This also automatically advances Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech' to Level Two."
Yugi's face actually beamed light, bright enough to be noticeable, as Joey appeared and began to tell Yugi to hang in there as Joey knew that he, Joey, was a good duelist, nay, a great duelist, trained by none other than Yugi and that he, Joey, could take Kaiba out therefore Yugi would have no problem at all, as long as he believed in himself. Why, Joey knew that Yugi could defeat Kaiba with nothing more than belief in himself, the heart of the cards, and a crumpled bubble gum wrapper. A Duel Monsters Deck? Pshaw! Cards? Yugi didn't need 'em! Everything Yugi needed was in his own heart, Joey was certain!
Téa, not to be outdone, gained the second level of her 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech' where she rhapsodized about the strong friendship between Yugi and Joey so much that sparkles began to dance all around her. Faced with the combined force of Yugi and Joey's shining citadel of friendship, even those unfortunately unhappy people who would abuse kittens if given half a chance would see the error of their friendship-deprived ways and reach out toward the supreme power of fluffy bunnies and friendship. Only Seto Kaiba, in all the world, could resist the power of Yugi and Joey's example of perfect friendship, since he was, you know, Seto, and doomed to be cranky, without humor and remain friendless all his days, or until he, you know, embraced the power found only in friendship and fluffy bunnies.
On the field, Seto turned decidedly green. Faced with the combined might of Joey's 'Inspiring Monologue' and Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech, Level Two' his own monologue faltered as he dashed to the side to hurl into the bushes. Seto stalked back onto the field afterward, stood up straight, regained his 'Impressive Trench Coat Flare' pose and effects (for that card was still active on the game board between Blue-Eyes and Dark Magician) thrust his hips out again and resumed his 'Intimidating Monologue'. Not that it could be heard about Joey's ranting about Yugi's skill, and Téa's joyful assertions about the power of friendship (and fluffy bunnies) in general, and Joey and Yugi's friendship in particular.
"Aren't you going to attack?" Blue-Eyes demanded above the din from their respective duelists.
"No, I'm good. I don't want to ruin the surprise for next round by interrupting them now. Besides, Seto lost his lunch. You lose one hundred points for each duelist active on my side of the field. That's three hundred points, just in case you were wondering."
"I know how to multiply!" Blue-Eyes roared. "Well, mostly. I'm useless if I have to carry anything into the tens column."
Dark Magician beamed and pounced on the opportunity. "We know, we know." He patted Blue-Eyes' tail in an overly kindly fashion again. "Never really got the hang of math, did you? That's okay. Kuriboh can help you. He's particularly good at multiplication."
"Kwee!"
"Get that useless fluff-ball away from me before I flambé it!" Blue-Eyes growled. "You know I'm allergic to it!" On top of the pink and purple spots already "decorating" Blue-Eyes' hide, neon yellow stars appeared.
"Kweee-eee-eee-EEE!" Kuriboh narrowed his eyes and whirled around Blue-Eyes' head in a dizzying blur of offended Kuriboh pride before disappearing. Blue-Eyes sneezed and turned pink. The purple spots and yellow stars (and his blue eyes, of course) stood out dramatically against his unnatural new hue.
"Just like last duel!" Blue Eyes complained. "No more summoning other monsters. This duel is between you and me!"
Dark Magician affected an innocent air. "I wasn't summoning other monsters to upset you. I merely thought to give you the aid of my friend Kuriboh's excellent math skills in keeping score."
"Thank you (I think). But it's not needed," Blue-Eyes stated. He sneezed again and turned green. "Bother! It always takes me a couple of days to get the Kuriboh pollen out of my sinuses!" he groaned.
"You could always blow your nose into one of Seto's silk bed sheets," Dark Magician offered brightly. "While you go do that, perhaps ponder your next turn? My turn is over."
--------------------
Author's notes -
Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get.
