Thank you guys so much for your reviews and following my story. I really do appreciate it. I'm so sorry I've taken so long with this one but I'm hoping to get a lot better at updating this more often. Since it is my first story I'm still exploring how to write these chapters so it's taken me a bit of time. Also this is an AU I think… I'm still not positive on that one but I pretty much left off from when Andy left to go undercover at the end of season 3 but I'm pretty positive that this is not how season 4 will go. Also if you have any feedback I'm still learning so I do actually appreciate it. I hope you guys enjoy.
"Are you serious?" Traci whispered a few seconds later. She was still shocked at what had come out of Andy's mouth.
Andy looked up at Traci with an expression that let her know that to think she would joke about something like this was ridiculous.
"Oh Andy. How?" she asked after a beat.
"I really think that's something you should know by now." Andy replied, looking back at the paper work on the desk in front of her. She was finally relaxing again…either that or she was really good at hiding it and with Andy it was usually hard to tell which it was.
"Andy!" Traci said sympathy flooding her voice "You know what I mean. It's been a long time."
"Apparently not long enough. It doesn't matter though, you know? It is what it is." Andy replied nonchalantly. She wanted to open up to Traci. The past few weeks had been really hard with no one to talk with and the idea with telling Traci now was to hopefully make things just a little easier on her. Plus she knew if she didn't there would be hell to pay later once she finally did find out.
"Andy it's been six weeks since you saw Swarek and I know no baby making activities went down then. How long has it been?"
"Fourteen weeks" Andy's voice changed and Traci could see her wall breaking down. She wasn't as relaxed with this idea as she was trying to make her believe. "Two weeks before we broke up, I mean, I'm assuming that's when it happened."
"You're fourteen weeks?" Traci asked her head tilting to the side, something not quite adding up in her mind.
"That's what the doctor said." Andy replied still pretending to read the paper work. She didn't catch on to the hidden questions in Traci's voice.
"You're not showing at all. At fourteen weeks I was a blimp."
"The doctor said it happens sometimes. But, you know, I don't really feel that's a great explanation. You know what he said? Sometimes women don't know they're pregnant until the baby comes out. I don't even know how that's possible but he's the doctor he's supposed to know things like this right? If not I guess I'm in even more trouble." Andy finally looked up at Traci and could tell she was still trying to process what she had said. "It doesn't matter though I can't hide it forever."
"Andy, you need to tell him." Traci replied after a few minutes. Long enough to think she was going to drop the subject. She knew what she was going to tell her next was worse than the pregnancy bomb.
"I can't Trac… I made my choice and he made his." Andy replied "We both chose to leave."
"Andy, if you told him he'd come back. He'd do the right thing." Traci urged. She didn't want to see Andy unhappy and knew that the two of them wanted to be together. They just couldn't get on the same wavelength.
"No, no, no I'm not gonna let him do that. I know how it feels to be a kid with parents that are only together for them. Sam would feel trapped and then hold it against me. It'd only be a matter of time…" She began to trail off. "That wouldn't be fair to anyone."
"Andy you're not your parents." Traci stated. It didn't take anyone special to realize that's who she was referring to.
"It's just better this way. He can live his life and I can live mine." Andy said in a tone that told Traci there was no arguing this point any further.
"Are you going to tell anyone else? Frank?" Traci asked realizing that, for now, there was no arguing this with her.
"He knows. So does Nick and Luke, I found out second week undercover."
"That's why you came back so soon? Why didn't you tell me then?"
"I'm scared." Andy said looking her in the eyes and ignoring her question "I'm really scared."
Sam turned right onto West Fifth Street and pulled into the parking garage. He had taken a job with the Vancouver Police Department a week after Andy had left. He knew, as did everyone else, that she and Nick had gone undercover, she had made her choice.
Despite his hopes, the things he had done were unforgivable, and deep down he knew that. He really had wanted to make this time work and would have done anything to make it but he knew Andy couldn't trust him now. She had been hurt by him too many times and he knew there would be no more chances when it came to getting what they had back. He had said it before, he had told her he wouldn't leave, and once it became too hard to deal with he left. He had convinced himself it was better this way.
He may have loved her but really he was better on his own. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Andy, but her life would be better without him, so he needed to get away. He wasn't going to beg anymore, he was already upset at himself for the bugging he had already done. It wasn't fair to her and he knew it. He had been parked for twenty minutes when Paul, a detective he had met his first day at this new job, knocked on his window, interrupting his thought process.
"Hey! You plannin' on joining the rest of us anytime soon? You're gonna be late to parade." He said smiling.
Paul was a friendly guy but could be a little irritating and Sam thought his ability to read people should've been a bit stronger for the position he held. He hadn't been able to tell once yet when Sam was lying and he had done it a lot. On the other hand, Sam thought it might've had less to do with his abilities and more to do with him just being a good liar. With the life he had led and the undercover work he had done he knew he could be quite convincing. Sam grabbed his bag, opened the door, and crawled out of his truck.
"Was just saying my prayers" Sam said with a tight smile as he grabbed Paul's hand and gave it a quick shake.
"You and me both, buddy. Let's just hope we get this deal done without a hitch." Paul said as they walked side by side into the station. "If we get this one done right…" He bent his head down and to the side and continued in a whisper "the task force will have no choice but to take you on." As they reached the locker room Paul turned to face Sam and continued in a normal voice. "Toronto won't haunt you forever. I've seen your work and after talking to your old staff sergeant I'm confident the hiccups you've had in the past are behind you. I know you'll do good work here. See you in parade."
Sam watched him walk away and although he thought the conversation was a bit strange he realized that with Paul it always was. Paul had been the one his current staff sergeant had elected to show him around his first day on the job and it hadn't taken him too long to figure out why. Paul was eager like Dov and overly friendly like Chris. He had dark red hair that swept across his forehead and was at least 6 inches taller than Sam but probably weighed less.
He had driven him crazy the first few days. He asked too many personal questions that Sam hadn't wanted to answer but it wasn't too long before Sam really started to like him.
Paul was a nice guy, and after a few people had heard about his successes in Toronto, he couldn't really say the same about most of his fellow officers. He hadn't expected anything else from them. He heard people talking sometimes about why he was there. They thought he was there to take someone else's position and because of that they hadn't really been the most welcoming bunch.
They were wrong of course, but really Sam didn't care what they thought or how they treated him, he was just feeling really lonely lately. It was like being undercover but without the benefits of completely forgetting yourself. All he really wanted was that again. He didn't want to have to deal with his real life, all he wanted was the escape that undercover would bring and after today he was hoping that's exactly what he'd get.
"I'm transferring." Andy told Traci while they were on patrol.
It had been only two days since Andy had dropped the pregnancy bomb and now this.
"What?" Traci said almost spitting out the coffee she was sipping and turning to look at Andy who just continued staring at the road in front of her.
"You can't be serious. Why would you do something like that?" Traci said really not understanding her motive. She hadn't noticed Andy being unhappy with where she was, her situation maybe but not with the station.
"You've never thought about it?" Andy says looking at Traci "About starting over where no one knows everything about you?"
"Of course I have." Traci says. After what had happened to Jerry she had thought she wanted to get away. Either transfer or maybe even go into nursing like her mother had wanted. It only lasted for about twenty seconds though. Despite the daily reminder of Jerry she knew that these were the people that had her back and who really understood her. She could see Andy wanting to escape the memory of Sam but with her new situation she knew she needed all the support she could get.
"Andy if this is about Sam.."
"It's not" Andy interrupted and then after a few seconds spoke again "Maybe a little bit." She added. "But not just because of Sam, you know, just to start over. I just want work and life to be separate and right now, if I stay, they won't be."
The practice undercover bust they had sent Sam on had gone off without a hitch. There was no way it could've gone any better and for the first time in weeks Sam actually felt happy. He knew there was no way he wasn't getting this undercover assignment he had wanted so badly. Paul had told him that this operation was a big one. They needed Sam and he knew it. There was no way anyone else at his new division was willing to make this kind of commitment. They had been clear that there was no way of knowing how long this assignment would last.
It could be years, he had been told. They wanted to get this ring of drug smugglers that had been in business for a long time. This wouldn't be the first operation they had attempted but were hoping it would be the last. Unfortunately they knew that would take time and lots of it. They were sending him in first to get established, work his way in. Once he had done that they would send others to work themselves into the business as well. They were going to be more careful this time and take it slow. They knew if they did that they'd have more of a chance, but it meant Sam would have to keep up the charade for a long time.
It was just what Sam wanted. He could get lost in his work and by the end of this he'd be moved on and so would she.
Thanks for reading… More to come.
