Hello everyone :D So I'm here with the 2nd chapter and I hope you'll like it! Also I want to thank you for such a great response to the first chapter! Like omg 7 reviews, 12 favorites and over 20 follows? You guys are so awesome! :D Next chapter will be up next Friday, enjoy! :)
CHAPTER 2
The Restless Night
It wasn't even ten minutes since they left Camelot and Arthur started talking. He wanted to talk because Merlin didn't and that was strange. Merlin always talked too much and suddenly he was silent? Not to mention that Merlin had woken him up way too early today. And he didn't even forget the breakfast. No, this man riding next to Arthur wasn't Merlin. This wasn't his clumsy, stupid manservant who talked and smiled too much, this was someone else. A new version of Merlin. A better servant but worse friend. And Arthur wanted the old Merlin back.
"So, Merlin," Arthur started, growing impatient. "Don't you want to tell me something?" He asked. Merlin didn't even look at him when he answered.
"Don't think so, why?" He said matter-of-factly and looked at the trees around them. The sun was shining through the leaves and made his skin feel warm and he felt more alive and more himself here than back in Camelot. He felt a bit trapped there, but it was still his home. And he had Arthur there. And Gaius with Gwen.
"Come on, Merlin," Arthur rolled his eyes.
"What?" Merlin finally turned to him, confused.
"I noticed okay?" Arthur continued and looked at his friend. "I'm not as stupid as you'd like to think, I know you were crying in the morning." Merlin turned away the moment Arthur mentioned the morning in his chambers. He didn't want to talk about it, especially with Arthur. "I'd just like to know why-"
"I wasn't crying." Merlin replied and sped up a bit. Arthur wasn't that easy to get rid of though. He sped up his horse too so he rode next to Merlin again. Then he made the horse go a bit closer to him and tried to look into Merlin's eyes. He saw that Merlin was tensed a bit, he seemed nervous and somehow sad. And tired, but he looked tired almost every day these last two weeks... Did Arthur really give him too many chores to do?
"Merlin?" Arthur's tone was soft when he noticed Merlin's glistening eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" Merlin finally looked at Arthur and even though he didn't want to... he knew it might make him feel a bit better. So he nodded.
"I... I-" Merlin started but paused. Arthur saw he hesitated. Either he wasn't sure how to explain what was happening or decided not to share the information with him after all. That was why Arthur did what he did next. He didn't even know what was he doing, his body somehow decided to just go ahead and help. And so he reached out and took Merlin's hand and squeezed. Now to understand this, Arthur would never do that. He'd never touch Merlin like this, but he was desperate to get the answer even though he wasn't sure why. He's seen Merlin upset a few times before, but to talk about it this openly? That never happened between them. Maybe it was time to try new things and help each other by listening to what the other one wanted to say.
Arthur smiled slightly when he saw it worked. Merlin took a deep breath and wiped away a tear that ran down his cheek. "I- I don't know how to explain this..." He looked at Arthur again as they rode. "I don't want you to laugh at me."
"Merlin, I promise I won't laugh at you. Not if something serious is going on here, okay? I'm your prince and I'm also sort of responsible for you... in certain ways. I want to know what's happening, so I won't laugh." Arthur assured his friend. Merlin chuckled a bit.
"I never thought you would be actually able to admit it out loud," Merlin joked because they both knew Arthur practically just admitted he cared about Merlin. The smile disappeared from Merlin's face though and he looked down again. "I... um," he cleared his throat. "I have these... nightmares."
"Nightmares?" Arthur asked.
"Yes. They're worsening every day and I don't know what to do anymore." Merlin admitted. "It's not... it's not like a normal bad dream. I've been having them already for two weeks and... and I can't sleep." Merlin whispered. He hesitated a bit before saying he couldn't sleep because he also wanted to say that according to Gaius it was harder to wake him up than before. He decided against it. Arthur might think it was magic, which they already knew it probably was.
"Merlin, why didn't you tell me?" Arthur asked. Merlin could see the hurt in his eyes and he didn't want to see it, so he looked at his horse's head.
"Why?" He laughed a bit sadly. "Gaius is the court physician and he has no clue what to do with it. You wouldn't help much either. Besides... I didn't want you to worry about me." Merlin said honestly. He wanted to tell Arthur about it, many times, but he never did. Not only was he afraid Arthur would laugh at him, there was another reason too of course. Arthur was a crowned prince of Camelot and he had enough of his own problems.
Arthur sighed and looked down. They were riding through a small meadow in the middle of the forest. "Well, you were right. I am worried about you now." Arthur admitted and finally let go of Merlin's hand when he realized they were still touching. Merlin sighed and looked down again. It was very comfortable to be able to touch Arthur like that. He didn't know why, but he liked it. It meant something to him. It meant that Arthur cared enough to cross their usual boundaries.
"What are the nightmares about?" Arthur suddenly asked him and looked back at him. Merlin had to swallow. He didn't know why, but he felt a bit embarrassed to tell Arthur about this part.
"It's weird," he said at last. "It's always the same dream, repeating in my head when I sleep. But every time I dream it's somehow worse than before, I..." He paused for a second and cleared his throat again. "I dream about me and... and you," Arthur raised an eyebrow and Merlin laughed a bit. "No, not like that," he smiled. But then felt a bit sorry that he said that. It was almost as if he wished he had dreamed about them in that way. "Anyway," Merlin continued. "I dream about you being killed, and I'm not able to save you. I'm not able to do anything, I can just watch you... watch you d-die..." Merlin wiped his eyes with a sleeve.
Arthur was looking at Merlin with sympathy written all over his face. "I'm sorry Merlin," he said. "I'm sure we can fix it... somehow." He wanted to encourage Merlin just as he did himself. Merlin knew that Gaius tried pretty much everything he could and even Merlin's magic wasn't very helpful. Sleeping drafts didn't help, and useless wandering through the castle at night didn't help much either. Merlin would always eventually fall asleep and wake up with tears streaming down his face, he was lucky enough that no one found him in that state yet. Except Gaius.
"Yeah I wish," Merlin answered finally. He sped up his horse again so he rode in front of Arthur. He wanted to be alone.
xoXĂ–Xox
In the rest of the day, nothing special happened. They rode through the forest and meadows and then through forest again. They didn't talk about Merlin's nightmares anymore and Merlin was glad that they didn't. Sometimes they rode in silence and sometimes they talked. About Merlin's life in Ealdor, then about Arthur's life in Camelot before Merlin had arrived. So even though the trip was boring, sometimes it was fun too. And the weather was nice.
As the sun went down and it was closer to the horizon, Merlin shifted in his saddle and swallowed. It was evening and after evening came night and he was beginning to feel very nervous. He didn't want to have another nightmare and he had no idea if sleeping outside would make it better or worse. He considered asking Arthur for help, but he soon dismissed the idea. The prince deserved his sleep and Merlin could deal with it on his own. Especially when Arthur was around, he didn't want him to see how bad those nightmares have become. And he felt like he needed to be more careful than before. Not only because of his magic, but because... He didn't know what had changed, but he felt much closer to Arthur than before. He wanted to spend time with him as often as possible.
Then Merlin looked at Arthur. Arthur pretended he didn't notice and soon Merlin looked away. He swallowed again and cleared his throat, which made Arthur look at him.
"It's getting dark," Arthur said when Merlin stayed silent. He looked in front of him at the sun. It was almost dark. "We should find some place for the night."
"Yeah," Merlin nodded. "Somewhere safe," he added under his breath, but Arthur heard it and looked at him. He knew Merlin was probably afraid of falling asleep and he didn't judge him. He'd had nightmares too, but he couldn't even imagine what Merlin had to go through every night. He wanted to help him somehow, but he had no idea how.
After a few minutes they reached a little valley. They stopped the horses and dismounted. It was a lovely place, perfect for staying the night. The sun's last rays of the day shone through the trees and there were orange and yellow leaves on the ground. The summer was almost over, but it was still pleasantly warm. The birds were still singing and there was a small river somewhere nearby.
"Merlin, fill our waterskins with water and make something to eat, I'll feed the horses," Arthur said. Merlin nodded and walked away, returning with water. Then he went to collect some wood and after he started a fire, he prepared ingredients from his bag to make them a porridge. It wasn't really a porridge, it was made of vegetables and meat, but it didn't look very nice. He was actually quite proud of himself. He remembered the time he went to Camelot for the first time and Arthur wanted to go hunting. He had no clue how to cook anything then, but Gaius taught him how to prepare at least the basic meals.
When Arthur fed the horses and tied them to a tree, he slowly came to the fire and sat down, facing Merlin. He wasn't talking, he was just watching his servant as the boy worked. His movements, his face, every little thing he did to make the food. Arthur still didn't figure out why, but it somehow fascinated him. Just sitting near a fire and watching Merlin. It was comfortable like that, it made him feel calm. They could just look at each other and they understood what the other was thinking about, even though they were just sitting in comfortable silence. That never happened to him before with anyone else. And he loved it. He loved the feeling. And the more he thought about it, the more he liked it, and that scared him a little.
A loud sound snapped him back into reality and he winced and blinked. He looked at Merlin who was giggling a bit and looking at him. "Sorry," he laughed. "A spoon fell into the pot." He mumbled, still laughing. Arthur just glared at him. "What?" Merlin asked with a grin. "It wasn't intentional!"
"And you expect me to believe that?" Arthur smiled sarcastically.
"Believe what you want, but it was funny," Merlin said and returned to the cooking. Arthur snorted.
"It certainly was not." He said and cleared his throat.
"Yes it was," Merlin laughed. "You should've seen your face!" He laughed again.
"Shut up, Merlin." Arthur sulked. He put on his best offended face and folded his arms on his chest, which made Merlin laugh even harder. Arthur looked back at Merlin and had to smile. He didn't see Merlin smile these last days, let alone laugh. Maybe it was because of those nightmares and lack of sleep, but he loved it when Merlin smiled. His smile could light up the whole world and make Arthur feel better anytime and Arthur absolutely adored it.
When the sun was already gone and it was dark and they finished eating their dinner and prepared the bedrolls, Merlin got really worried. He was glad that Arthur put his bedroll close to his, but it was dark and he was already sitting there, covering himself with the blanket. It was a warm night and he loved the place, but he didn't want to sleep. As if Arthur could actually hear his thoughts, he looked at Merlin. Merlin looked back at Arthur and took a deep breath.
"You know," Merlin started with a shaky voice, "Maybe... um, maybe I should take the first watch?" He asked and wanted to get up, but Arthur put his hand on his thigh to stop him.
"No way, Merlin. You're gonna take a good long sleep whether you like it or not." He said, looking into Merlin's dark blue eyes.
"But Arth-"
"No buts," Arthur warned. "You're going to sleep and I will watch over you, okay?" He squeezed Merlin's thigh and looked at him with such concern that Merlin just couldn't protest. He lay down and covered himself with his blanket and looked up at the sky between the trees. He hated this.
"Arthur?" Merlin whispered and Arthur looked at him again. "I'm... I don't want to have a nightmare again." Merlin confessed. He hated to say it like that but he trusted Arthur. He trusted him with his life and he needed to know that he was there for him if something happened. He somehow needed to know, to feel that he wasn't alone.
Something in Arthur's eyes changed as Merlin was looking into them. He seemed more understanding. "I know Merlin," Arthur told him. "But don't worry, I'm gonna be right here the whole time." He smiled at Merlin and Merlin happily returned the smile.
"Thanks," he mumbled and finally closed his eyes. He wiped a single tear on his cheek with his sleeve as he turned around. Luckily Arthur didn't notice that. He stood up and went over to a tree nearby, and sighed as he heard Merlin's soft snoring. That idiot had to be exhausted when he fell asleep so quickly. Arthur smiled and then he sat down and leaned against the tree.
After a while, he looked up at the sky. The stars were already shining through the trees and he smiled. He loved it to just sit near a campfire, in silence watching the nature around him. It made him happy.
The next two hours nothing happened. Arthur found himself thinking more and more often about Merlin. He wondered how it would feel to touch his skin. And he already knew he'd love to found out. He didn't want to deny it anymore. He wanted a relationship, and by relationship he meant something more than just friendship.
Merlin turned to him during Arthur's watch so Arthur could see his peaceful face. He realized how attractive Merlin in fact was. He didn't get to see Merlin like that very often. He always saw him during the day, but he has never had the opportunity to study Merlin's face for so long without Merlin knowing.
He smiled. Merlin's dark tousled hair, long black eyelashes, those cheekbones and red, parted lips. Damn, he looked so perfect. He wondered why Merlin didn't have a girl. Or maybe it was just another thing he didn't tell Arthur about. Arthur found only one disadvantage in this. He didn't get to see Merlin's mesmerizing blue eyes. But when he saw them during the day, he loved them. He loved to get lost in the endless blueness of his eyes and that wisdom in them. But it never lasted long. He couldn't risk keeping long eye contact.
"Arthur..." Merlin suddenly whimpered. Arthur quickly stopped thinking about the amazing structure of Merlin's face and tensed. At first he thought that maybe Merlin just woke up, but soon he found out how terribly wrong he was. Merlin never told him how awful his nightmares were. But when Merlin started to roll over and call his name through gritted teeth, Arthur knew what was happening. Merlin was having another nightmare.
Arthur quickly stood up and came over to his friend. He touched his shoulder and said his name, but that didn't help at all. Merlin started crying and rolling faster in his bedroll. He cried Arthur's name and "No!" Then he started screaming and Arthur worried someone might hear them. Merlin shook his head from side to side as tears streamed down his face. Arthur could see the pain and desperation in his face, the agony Merlin was going through in his dream.
"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, but as Merlin said before. It was still harder and harder to wake him up. Arthur panicked and grabbed Merlin's shoulders, but in the next second he froze. A huge wave of energy washed over him. It went right from Merlin to all directions away from him. Arthur looked at Merlin in fear and saw his friend's eyes were wide open and... gold.
He had no idea what to do, he was so shocked he couldn't even move. The wave was the strongest magic he has ever felt. He literally felt the power of it, and he saw the golden shade run through the forest as the wave flew with incredible speed. What the hell?
Arthur looked back at Merlin whose eyes were closed again and he was still turning around in his sleep, trapped in his nightmare. He had no idea what to do now that he knew Merlin had magic (which still seemed impossible). But he couldn't leave Merlin like that, magic or not. He needed to help him. He quickly shook his shoulders and yelled Merlin's name, which made Merlin look at Arthur with fear in eyes.
"Arthur?" Merlin whispered and threw his arms around him. Arthur hesitated a bit, but eventually he hugged Merlin back. Merlin cried and sobbed into Arthur's shoulder, burying his face into the crook of Arthur's neck and they stayed like that a couple of minutes.
"Shhh," Arthur whispered into his ear and kissed the top of Merlin's raven black head. Arthur was successful in calming Merlin down and he listened to him as he talked about the events in his dream. He heard the pain in his voice and he knew that Merlin would never hurt him in any way. But he had magic and Arthur wasn't sure how to deal with that. He felt a tear on his cheek and he sighed.
Today he has learned two things.
First, he was probably... no, definitely in love with his manservant. Second, Merlin had magic and he didn't know if he could handle that.
TBC
So there you go, the ultimate magic reveal already in the 2nd chapter :D What do you think will come next once Merlin wakes up? ;)
