Haru got a strange feeling again but this time it was on both cheeks and the it also felt as if he was being surrounded but there was nothing there. He was far enough from others that he was sure no one could hear him. Was he going crazy or was this really ?
"Rin?" Haru couldn t see anything or hear anything but he sure as hell felt it - like it was almost consuming him and pleading with him somehow. "Rin Rin if that is really you ?" Haru placed a hand over his cheek and closed his eyes. It made the feeling that Rin was there even more intense somehow. It wasn t how water made him feel, it was altogether different yet it made just as many if not more emotions rise in him.
He felt compelled to say what he wanted to say because maybe this was some weird second chance to get it off his chest or maybe he was simply losing it. Whatever it was, Haru was somehow sure that it really was him.
"I lo " Haru whispered but before he could finish, Nagisa interrupted him.
"Haru-chan, they are ready now to take Rin to the cemetery."
Rin hated seeing Haru so upset. It broke his heart and he wanted nothing more than to try and help him. This was even worse now that he couldn t do anything, if he could be heard, Rin would have tried teasing the raven but now? Well there was next to nothing that could have been said or done.
Until Haru said his name. Yes! Yes, Haru it s me. I But then Haru seemed to doubt that it was him. Maybe he was just feeling his presence and nothing else? That could probably help somehow if Rin knew how to do anything with that. The hand over his own had Rin trying to weave their fingers together but it didn t seem to be working too well.
Right when Haru was going to tell him, Nagisa had to interrupt. Rin had never wanted to throw something at Nagisa s head more than he had in that moment. God dammit, Nagisa, could you have worse timing? Jeeeze Rin shook his head and sighed loudly before standing and touching Haruka s cell phone. At least he thought it was Haru s phone, it could have been Makoto s.
He tried to power it up but found that it didn t want to. Rin concentrated on the phone as long and hard as he could until he managed to make it respond. On the screen was a text message but he couldn t tell what the conversation was about. Right as he was attempting to put a message on there, Nagisa had come closer to try and took Haru s hand.
Instead, one of the songs that Rin had them put for his ringtone came up, the familiar tones of MitiS Life of Sin beginning to play. Rin just grinned and looked back at Haru, hoping that the freestylist would understand his hint. The phone looked broken and one word showed up: Dolphin.
Up at the altar, the others were gathering around the casket to move their friend with Sousuke at the head on the right side. They were all just waiting for Haru to come over.
Haru sighed because Nagisa at that moment had the worse timing but he didn t have a way to know that so Haru let it go. He was annoyed as the blond coerced him to move and stop dragging his feet. However, that song - that ringtone he knew all too well. It was Rin s. Haru looked down at his phone which he could ve sworn he d left off and in fact it wasn t normal for him to have it but that was the last place he d heard Rin s voice. That phone call was the last tine he would ever be able to talk to Rin unless he really had been there a moment ago.
Haru looked down at the screen but didn t show on his face how the word on the screen made him feel. It was you Haru whispered as he smiled with only his eyes staring at the phone.
Nagisa was soon pulling him away, Haru sighed looking around like he would really see Rin there somewhere but he was sadly mistaken on that assumption and sighed sadly. I ll tell you later Haru muttered as he placed his phone into his jacket pocket. Wearing a suit was stuffy and slightly uncomfortable.
As everyone gathered finally, the casket was carried to the grave site and soon they were watching as Rin was lowered into the ground right next to his dad. Haru was sure he would be happy with his burial place at least.
I really want to tell him how I feel. Perhaps Haru could lag behind and speak to Rin the same way Rin had when he visited this very sight? That is just what he did, waiting till everyone left even thought he had to shoo Makoto off. He seemed to think Haru needed to just go home but Haru refused.
He was soon alone at Rin s grave and he sat down next to his tombstone and once more he cried and found it easier to let it all out because finally no one was around to see or bother him in his private moment.
Rin wanted to punt Nagisa into outer space but he was certain that the blond would have enjoyed that a little too much. He grumbled and walked with Haru toward his casket before he sat down on the wood again. He brushed off the imaginary dirt from the white suit pants he had on.
He watched his body being lowered into the ground right next to his father and Gou finally ended up breaking down with their mother. Rin wasn t proud of that, he hated knowing he d broken their hearts. They were starting to trickle away from the site and Rin had fully expected that afterward. He hadn t expected Haru to actually stay there and cry.
The redhead just frowned and hugged Haru the best that he could manage, trying to comfort him. You can always tell me. I m going to try my best and stay with you for as long as I can manage. I I don t know if you ll ever see me but I hope that you will someday. At least just talk to me whenever you re alone.
There was one good thing about that day, the sun was shining. It was Rin s favorite weather, a bright sun, a gentle breeze, and a clear sky with pillow-like clouds. It was always when Rin was happiest but storms still terrified him even as he got older and knew they were usually harmless. Somehow, this still reminded Rin of a storm, especially with how the flowers made things so much darker.
He was happy he hadn t told Sousuke to give him a Viking s funeral now that he was actually dead. The big puppy would have done it too or at least fought for it. Rin tried touching Haru s face again and frowned at how easy it was to go through him. Haru please, just it s okay. You can tell me now, alright?
As he d cried, he got that feeling again but this time, this time Haru swore it somehow smelled like Rin too. It was weird but comforting just the same and it somehow felt as if Rin was enveloping him somehow.
"Rin?" Haru muttered softly as his tears finally seem to be coming to an end yet at the same time his heart ached painfully because of missing his dear friend. "I never told you how I feel." Haru started once more glad that no one could interrupt him this time. "I've loved you since I was young " Haru sighed heavily, "I wish you really were here and I wish I could ve told you and "
What was the point of this? It somehow seemed silly but somehow also made him feel better, as if a weight was rising from his shoulders. I wish a lot of things that will never happen now But then again, a lot of that would ve relied heavily on Rin having mutual feelings and what were the chances of that?
Haru knew it was futile and he was probably just wasting his time but he didn t really care. As he started walking home, he watched the night sky close and wondered where Rin was now? Where do people go when they die, especially so abruptly? Was it really to heaven or did they just roam the earth forever? Why was he even thinking this?
Haru wondered why he was going crazy, clearly something was wrong because he kept feeling Rin near. Was it because of how bad he missed him? Was it because he longed to hold him so bad? Was it because of how his heart felt like it was in the pit of his stomach?
