Fish on the stick under hot sun.

Cartman's POV

As we deepened our kiss and departed our lips I paused for a moment. Kyle did not move and his eyes stayed unfocused.

"Kyle?"

He was falling. I grabbed him on the shoulder. His body was just as the same weight I carried my mom unconcscious after I made her vomiting on Bathroom and it happened just as person got dead and every Neuron or system of body could not sustain one's weight. I literally had to carry him all. I laid him on the floor and checked his pulses and moved my finger to his chest.

It was weak. This Jew never takes me off with worries. He is just too fragile and breakable.

This feeling I am to him must have been similar to those of a Twilght. I am not into those shitty novels but as that was a trend I just knew that chicks loved them as handsome competent gentleman vampire treats normal looking girl as treasure beware of his every touch and endears her. I did not into that novel, and actually 've despised it but could share feelings with the main character from the novel.

I endear and treasure Kyle. I do. Concurrently, I also am afraid of narrowing our space. I just am being asshole to him and just could not let him go.

I took him to the bridal style to my bed and I contemplated myself against the wall sitting front of him laid on bed, peacefully with no motion and sound

The thing is I want to possess him but do not want us to be gay.

I wanted more stable lifestyle.

My mom is very warm hearted woman. Her smell is like an apricot on a late spring. Her warm and giving smile makes my day shine I know it sounds gay.

But she could just mess up on bed. She was not independent like Kyle or Stan's mom.

She felt someone to keep her side and she got what she wanted foremost on bed. Most of all, my mom is not really smart when it comes to rush.

The bruise kyle found me on the other day was caused by her.

She strangled me. Her tear was dwelling.

'Why Eric, after what all have I done to you why are you doing this to me!"

I couldn't look her in the face I just let my arms lingering on floor and kept my eyes closed. I had to make her boyfriend go. I did terrible thing on the past and my Mom's boyfriend was a set up.

They could have just killed me or my mom instead, they spied on me.

They knew that I have nothing to be die for in my life. I always kept my composure and made fake smile to make progress. I just had to move away after I made mistakes. I thought it stayed when it happened but no they were more influential and poweful than I thought.

I touched the lion's claw.

They took notice of every of my mom then they could easily get into within a week.

First, they masqueraded themselves as a cleaning person or survey from boiler or pesticide company and checked into my mom's room and figured out I do not have dad and my mom's habits of drugs. They could easily grasp the fact that my mom earns grain of salt by sharing beds.

They took every list of the clients. Then made sure when my mom visited them with more erotic and seductive smile than that shown to me stole assets of those houses, money, jewels, home contracts, documents anything that makes for living.

That made my mom exclusive.

She, before was not engaging in program or meeting like Kyle or Stan's mother. And as the whole town shut door behind her, so did their mom shut their mind to my mom. My mom was befriended with alcohols since then. That was the time when I was not home I was working at other places.

Literally she had nobody

That was the time I personally believe they implanted new guy into my mom.

As they knew my mom went to same bar they also did the guy to have same habits. They also paid guys to get close to mom. He and my mom could be complete soulmate as they researched everything of mom. They were a complete match. My mom also believes in fortune or destiny. She is a woman of a dandelion or lilac stuff. She fell instantly in love with him.

As I came through my house door. He stopped me than told his entire plans. So whenever he tried to make more step with mom I instantly stopped them by begging mom as I did not want her to know her precious boyfriend is a set up by my mistakes.

I should not have let it so.

I was stupid and dumbass per I say.

And my mom declared marriage with him I knew she was serious to this.

My mom was stubborn she could not just admit that he was a fake. Surely she had a full heart on my words but she was also to the man.

Since I could not stop my mom's willing I called the police and took this man as I put a fingerprint of his to my mom's glass with rat poison.

Then I convinced town people all the bad things happened by mom was not her fault. But misgivings just did not wear off. As their belongings were gone they could not help but into inquiry with their wives and Mistress about their double life. Some of them got divorced and some of them accused mom for that happened by her careless behavior.

As they shut door behind me , I cursed them then returned to my mom.

My mom broke since then.

She kept crying with her door locked and visited him secretly on jail and of course he refused to meet her in person, making my mom more desperate.

As I casually returned from fight with Kyle and Stan, my mom who should have had glass of white wine with her on the kitchen was gone.

Then I got a call. It was from the Bar my mom frequented to.

She was literally all mess, she was laid all over the bar table, her stretched arm was taking a space of potential customer's. and the bar keeper was keep calling her in annoyed tone.

'Ms. Cartman it's 12 pm, we have to close!'

I sighed and walked over to her and stretched her up. She was giggling and her other hand was fumbling for the space for wine glass. Her fingers were out of power but like a baby's instinct that just kept crawling on the table.

Then as I stopped her move she was sobbing and said why would he kill her and began to blame her continually as she was carried to my shoulder.

After then, I saw her outside house porch, kept drinking and lamenting herself.

Oneday. It was raining. When I got home fast without encountering with friends to make sure my mom is Okay she already was gone.

Later I found her on the wet road sitting herself behind the parking lot.

I dragged herself to home. As she was impossible and kept blamming herself on her unattractivness or her too dependent personality I confessed.

"Mom" I said "I did it. I made him indicted by faking him poisoning you"

Then she stopped her crying then she seemed confused and as she looked me serious she pulled her shaking arms into my neck then forced herself strongly, literally strangling me.

She cursed me to go hell and die and after what she has covered up for me is just gone and will never happen then she said she wished I was not her son.

It was probably an alcohol or drug but she was too emotional.

I was too tired to resist or talk back. I just let it slip and calmned myself be fine tomorrow.

As I got purple bruise on neck as I walked upstairs to bed and later I found my mom on bedroom and there were lots of painkillers splattered up from bed to down on floor. And there lying Liane Cartman hanging her on the moment of death.

As the hospital got my call. I just saw some medicial assistants carried her on stretch and I just stood there while some of them put their hands on shoulder and convinced her well being on me. As I was too young they decided on themselves to make me stay. And through foggy windows on the effect of raining I just saw the red lights blinking slowly disappeared over the hill.

Since then I got a call and my mom needed time to recover herself. She is from saying needs a absolute rest so visitors even her blood could not stay. So I just visited her on hospital and checked her state often,

Since then, I doubted everthing does not last and made sure myself be strong and live stable life. Any thing abnormal was not welcoming to me.

However, I was secretly in love with Kyle Broflovski. I wanted to hold his every sight of his generosity kindness and most of all integrity to whom he tought loving.

Like Stan Marsh.

He has a perfect life style, sane Mom, family with father, lots of popularity and above average report cards. And most of all he 's got twenty four seven of Kyle's.

However, as I found Kyle had a thing with me and he too wanted serious relationship my years of endurance and resolution broke.

And I was swirled in chaos and butterflies flung like a storm in spirals. When I just took a look from him my bar cracks and the water flows.

I really wanted us to be serious and confirmed and blessed by majority of people. I espeiclally wanted to look on Stan's face, taking Kyle away from his needs.

However, things are not simple as it used to be.

Everything changed all too quickly before we made first move.

However, I truely want kyle to be with me not only in my dreams and my thoughts but also in me.

The more I am with him the more I felt never be more right than this.

I just wanted to make myself clear of anything want from this world yet making a normal and happy household.

So I chose Herenitta from the first place.

In fact. Herenitta was the one who confessed to me before kyle came upon my life.

After I and Kyle met my head kept shouting.'You chose the worng side, boy.'

Though I said before his face not wanting anything serious Kyle seemed serious.

We did not actually make out on bed. We just hugged and kissed. Well, it depends.

When I hugged kyle pretending this was not my first time Kyle embraced every touch of mine and happily engrossing himself and kept pretending to me casually.

I am not a person like him. After seeing my mom having a relationship with one guy, this guy and that guy I did not truely believe myself in love.

I decided to have a wife and children and some stable job. Whether there love grows or not, I thought was by the effort.

But It wasn't. Herenitta though apart from the girl I hate. I just could not feel the same as I was with Kyle when she held me in her embrace even with D cup size boob

and her soft and fresh apple lips could not satisfy me.

When Kyle and I was, there love grew inside me truely. I did not want this moment to pass.

Sily might say, I want to stop every minute and second on clock of whole world

However, simultaneously I could not imagine happy moments of Kyle while he is with me.

I might be unfaitful cause I know I am a selfish jerk while he is too integral.

Kyle be better off hands of me as I don't know whether I will let him go away when it has to.

'Kyle' I said while he is on sleep obviously he could not hear.

'Today, you just made the dumbest idea on your entire life'

'You should not have come here.'

I stopped, my words were behind of my action. While my head told me just shut the door and leave him alone I was already up on bed, caressing his face

brushing his curly and disorganized hair up to forehead. I just was keep staring at him. just still my palm on his face.

Things really are not on my hands huh?