AN: Sorry for the long wait my beloved audience, had some computer problems that needed fixing. While that was going on, I had already started work on the forthcoming third chapter titled "Beach Episodes for the Win!" so maybe expect that to come out sometime in March. But for now, let us finally return to the lives of Gwen & Tyrone Pines with our latest chapter.
Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star
Chapter 2: Return of the Vespa Woman
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Gwen slowly opened her eyes and discovered that she was in the middle of a field under a bright sun and blue sky, almost like she was in a storybook. "Where am I?" she wondered rubbing her furry head. 'Wait, fur?' she thought looking at her hand, or rather her paw before gazing at her reflection in a puddle. Somehow, she had been turned into a Calico kitten with her beanie cap and red flannel jacket still on, leading her to believe this was all a dream. "Turned into a cat. Can this get any weirder?"
"There you are you lazy bum!" she heard her brother bark. Turning around, she found a dog that pretty much looked exactly like Tyrone, quasar T-shirt, fluffy hair, inexplicable bandage on his face and all. "I've been wondering where you were! Come on, the picnic's already underway!"
"Picnic?" Gwen pondered before Tyrone dragged her away by the tail. She gazed upon the cartoon-like flora before the twins reached a beautiful park at the end of the field inhabited by animal versions of their family & friends, and then some.
"Top of the morning to you children." a pink-scaled chameleon leaning on a yellow scooter greeted them. "Good day to you too miss." Tyrone replied before a group of four penguins led them to their loved ones. However unknown to them, the chameleon's benign expression turned into an evil grin.
"Your family awaits children." one of the penguins stated politely gesturing to the Pines, who were also now animals. Dipper & Mabel were also dogs, Wendy was a cat, Pacifica as a pony with Arnold as a mouse on her back, Stan as a gorilla still in his wheelchair and Ford as an armadillo.
"So glad you could make it you two." Dipper said tenderly licking their faces. "Yep, you're in for one jolly holiday!" Mabel cheerfully added. Just then, the penguins gathered together and performed a big dance number for everyone, to their applause.
"Gotta love those penguins dude!" a bear version of Soos commented. Behind him were Melody as a kangaroo with Abby in her pouch, Ian as an elephant, Leia as a mongoose, Juan & Jorge as capybaras and Imelda as a mole. "My personal fave has to be Rico!"
"Yep, nothing can spoil today now!" Stan exclaimed, but however he spoke too soon when the chameleon from earlier wheeled up behind the Pines on her scooter. "Someone's right behind me ready to spoil today, isn't there?"
The others nodded before the chameleon stated "Flattery will get you nowhere." and she pulled out a sapphire-colored banjo to play. "Been quite a long while, hasn't it you filthy snake?!" Stan snarled getting up from his wheelchair to beat his chest. "Oh, my body!"
"Of course it has Fezhead! Or I guess I should call you Spinster now since it has been twenty years." the chameleon remarked. "How old are you now, 78? 79?"
"Seventy-nine, and still young enough to get back at you for what you've done to my family!" Stan shouted preparing for a fight, but the chameleon stopped him. "No no no, not a fight. Why don't we face off in something a bit more suitable for this opening segment?"
"Like what?" Ford asked, fearing what's to come. "LIKE BASKETBALL!" the chameleon shouted tearing off her clothes to reveal a red and black uniform before the park turned into a big stadium; complete with a scoreboard, an audience of cheering fans, the works.
"Greetings sports fans, I'm your lovable host here with what is sure to be a pulse-pounding match!" the leading penguin announced serving as commentator. "On one side of the court, we got our beloved Gravity Falls Gnomes!"
The team, led by Stan and consisting of Gwen, Tyrone, Dipper, Mabel, Ford & Arnold were on one side of the court as they waved to the audience. "And on the other side is the return of the equally celebrated Forest Freaks led by Haruko Haruhara!" the second much taller penguin declared causing fans to roar even louder.
"I did not consent to this!" Ian, as a member of the Forest Freaks alongside Leia, Juan, Jorge, Imelda and Haruko as captain, screamed amongst the cheering. "Now fans, it's time to come on and slam!" the smallest penguin announced in a high-pitched British accent which was followed by a fourth penguin shouting "KABOOM!"
With that, the game finally began as much as the Gravity Falls Gnomes didn't want to. The Forest Freaks were absolutely clobbering them with over 9,000 points compared to their 1,006 despite only being ten seconds in.
"What do we do now Stan?" Dipper asked getting tossed into a hoop alongside the ball, scoring the Forest Freaks another point. "The opposing team is just MURDERING us!"
"I think I know how." Stan boldly stated beating his chest to signal Ford. "Sixer, bring me the secret stuff!" he commanded. "But Stanley, that would be cheating AND you would die!" the armadillo exclaimed before a mosquito with white hair and shades flew into view. "He's right Stanley, this could be a horrible idea!"
"Outta they way you!" Haruko shouted swallowing the mosquito with her tongue. "Come on gramps, show me what you got!" she challenged while beginning to glow red. "Iiii'm waaaaaaiting!"
"Give it to me now Ford!" Stan ordered holding out his large leathery hand. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Ford resigned handing his brother a water bottle labeled "Micheal's Secret Stuff", but with Michael hastily crossed out and replaced with Stan's name.
Stan crushed the bottle in his gorilla hands and gulped down the water that spilled from it, causing him to grow larger & larger until he became a giant rampaging simian that wouldn't seem out of place with a lovely actress in his mitts. Haruko did the same as a result of swallowing the white-haired mosquito, only she turned into a gargantuan lizard that smelled of atomic energy.
"Whoa, that's so awesome!" Tyrone cheered while the spectators ran for cover. "This cannot end well!" Ford added curling up into a ball and rolling away. The two foes roared at each other before Haruko breathed atomic fire that Stan tossed his fist at, causing a massive explosion to turn the colorful animal dreamworld into a greyscale wasteland.
However, Gwen got back up after ducking away from the explosion to find the entire stadium reduced to nothing. Nothing except for the fallen gorilla corpse of her great-grunkle.
"It was not the atomic explosion that took his life, 'twas beauty that killed the beast." one of the penguins mourned the demise of Stan as he and his three comrades revealed themselves to be alive. "What's going on?" Gwen cried as her horn began to act up again. "Is this another nightmare or maybe even a vision of what's to come?"
"By my calculations, most likely the latter. Minus the basketball game." the tall penguin analyzed just as a rumbling sound was heard shaking the ground. The five discovered another large iron headed straight for them while the scarlet silhouette of a large bird flapped its wings above them.
"Just like in my last nightmare." the Pines daughter muttered before the smallest of the penguins shoved her away. "Ms. Pines, it's been an honor." the four penguins solemnly stated with a salute before they were flattened by the iron. This is what caused Gwen to transform into her robot mode and take on the iron as the bird roared.
"Wake up sweetie!" Dipper cried shaking his slumbering daughter, now with a bandage on her forehead. "Should I find another horse head to scare her with?" Tyrone asked. "No, I don't want this to be a repeat of last time son." his father stated. "Big Tiny's son Medium went on a rampage that day."
Just then, Gwen finally woke up and realized she was back to human form. "Tyrone, Daddy!" she exclaimed hugging her dad. "Thank goodness none of us are animals playing basketball that are killed by a nuclear explosion!"
"Not even gonna ask." Dipper bluntly said sticking two unlit cigarettes labeled "Never knows best" in his mouth. "Maybe it's one of her nightmares!" Tyrone guessed just as they heard someone running a bath. "Who could that be?"
"I'm standing right there." Wendy announced suddenly standing right behind her husband. "Wow, we didn't even need to mention you and yet here you are!" Dipper exclaimed. "But who else could be in the bathtub at this-oh no."
"Oh no what dad?" Gwen asked before her father left the kids' bedroom. "Hold on a sec, I just realized who." he said marching down the upstairs hall to the bathroom and knocking on the door. "Can't a woman get some privacy?!" a familiar nasal voice shouted. "But then again, I on the other hand wouldn't mind."
With a single groan, Dipper slammed open the door and his face turned an even brighter shade of red at the sight of Haruko Haruhara reclining in the bathtub while staring sensually at him. "Long time no see Takkun."
"I thought we were past all that! You even called me Dipper when you first left!" the formerly young detective cried spitting out his cigarettes. "And why are you in my bathtub?!"
"Just thought I needed one after my long trip back here. Care to join me?" Haruko proposed showing off her sudsy chest. "No thank you, but I still need to get ready anyway." Dipper declined squirting toothpaste on his toothbrush to begin his day before he was asked another question. "So, you finally swung the bat eh?"
Dipper loudly spat out both his toothpaste and brush in response. "That again Haruko?!" he screamed slamming against the countertop of the sink. "Aw come on Dipper, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you found love!" the Vespa Woman clarified. "Though to be honest, I always thought you swung better with the blonde than Wendy."
"Pacifica? Oh, she told Mabel that she swung the other way when we were all eighteen. The two of them adopted a son named Arnold." Dipper explained, which prompted Haruko to ask another question. "Oh yeah speaking of which, how's the rest of the fam doing?"
"Wendy and I got married and are raising two beautiful children named Gwen & Tyrone." Haruko's former Takkun answered. "Gwen is a very smart and gentle girl but I wish weren't so distant from others. Maybe it's because of that hat she wears. And Tyrone is pretty much a younger version of both his aunt and mother, just a big ball of energy that can't be stopped."
"And what of your grunkles?" the biker continued. "They've just gotten old and are still living at the Mystery Shack, though Stan is in a wheelchair being watched over by Soos and his family." the older Dipper added. "Which reminds me, I should really be getting there by now."
"Let me take you, Vespa's out back." Haruko proposed beginning to get out of the tub. "Oh no, no no no!" Dipper cried fearing what to expect from her while her reflection looked on. "Do not do what I think you're going to do, especially since you're naked!"
Pulling a shampoo hat from out of nowhere and placing it on Dipper's head, Haruko began fishing around his hair before she pulled another guitar out, just as large as the last one. "This is a 1967 model Mustang!" she gasped in awe. "MAMA LIKE!"
"Heh, that's what she said." Dipper stammered woozily as he fell into a daze while Haruko departed, and her reflection stayed behind staring awkwardly. Minutes later, Wendy stepped in to find his unconscious body. "Dipper, some naked woman just ran out the bathroom with a Mustang!" she called. "You okay honey? Oh no! Tyrone, can you bring your mother the horse head?"
"So tell me Miss, what's your name again?" Ford asked Jinyu in the kitchen as he lit up a cigarette. "Julia Jinyu. And I suppose you must be Stanford Pines, the man who wanted to change the world but instead fought the occult. Jinyu answered feeding Abby breakfast.
"Interesting." Stanford responded writing on a notepad. "Now tell me, what's your business with running over my great-grandniece; apologizing for her still being alive, deciding to start working at the Mystery Shack and converting my old room into a living space for yourself?"
"I simply came here on official business, preventing history from repeating itself by defending your family." the Bel-Air babe answered. "Wait just a sec," Ford muttered. "a guitarist runs over a young child with her vehicle and decides to move in with us as a maid. You wouldn't happen to know Haruko Haruhara, wouldn't you?"
"Indeed I do. In fact-" Jinyu began before she was interrupted by Gwen, Tyrone & Wendy carrying a barely conscious Dipper into the kitchen. "F-Ford?" the father woozily called stabilizing himself on the table. "A-and you a-are?"
"Remember children, beware the woman on the Ves-" Jinyu tried to warn the twins but was instead grabbed by the shoulder by a dazed Dipper. "Whatcha dooooin'?" he slurred sitting her back down. "Although it's nice you're sitting her down for my little survey, I think she was trying to warn them!" Ford exclaimed as Jinyu tried again while Gwen and Tyrone left for the gift shop. "Remember kids, the woman on the Vespa!"
Meanwhile in the shopping area of the Mystery Shack, it was business as usual. "You ever tried fasting until you're dead?" Juan asked while he, Jorge and Arnold sat around a coffee cup like a campfire. "Oh totally, didn't you remember when I went to the hospital for attempting that?!" Jorge answered. "Are you kidding?" Arnold shouted. "You could've really died!"
"Don't be so milquetoast man, it's really uncool. Try and have some fun." Juan chided him. "Milquetoast, milquetoast! Toast doesn't taste good in mi-ilk!" the twins chanted pointing at him. "Quit it you guys! Maybe toast does taste good in milk!" Arnold whimpered before he ran out the door. "I'll prove it to all of you!"
Just as Arnold left, Haruko suddenly barged in. "Hey everybody, it's your fave character!" she announced to the cheers of customers and a sitcom soundboard app on Juan's phone. "Works like a charm."
An organ then started backing Haruko up as her clothes suddenly changed into priest attire and the spotlight shone on her. "The world you live in is now overflowing irresponsibly. No matter which direction you look, you'll see the world is full of those who defile other and their surroundings with selfish delusions!" she declared. "And I truly believe that this is solely the fault of the adults of this world and when I say that, I unfortunately include myself among them. I am so sorry. I cannot think like I used to! I can no longer continue. Puupipi."
"Morning everyone!" Mabel greeted stepping into the room and noticing the sermon taking place. "Uh, did I run into the community center because their cult meetings are every Wednesday. Though thankfully no one's being sacrificed."
"Even if I try to think what's best for this planet, I think about the mold I haven't noticed before or the hair that grows out of it!" the Vespa preacher continued. "I can't help but think about these things. World, universe. To be honest, I don't care! Because it's not actually my fault! Puupupu."
The audience tearfully exchanged that last word with Haruko a few times before running up to embrace her while the kids looked on. "What is up with her?" Tyrone wondered. "Yeah, I mean no one would be that ridiculous to mention moles & hair in a speech about how idiotic the world is!" Jorge added drinking a bottle of sriracha sauce. "They'd be a complete nutcase!"
"There there, you're all good." Haruko soothed the crowd. "Hey I got an idea, why don't we have a Disney-style musical number to cheer y'all up?!"
"Can we sing Step in Time?!" Tyrone asked excitedly. "Sure, whatever you want sport." the Vespa Woman beamed putting on the music and clapping along. "Step in time, step in time! Come on mateys, step in time!"
"Step in time! Step in time, step in time!" the chorus obeyed forming a kickline. "Step in time, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! All you gotta do is step in time!"
"Link your elbows!" Tyrone cheered joining in on the number. "Link your elbows, step in time!" the backup replied while Mabel joined them. "Link your elbows, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! Link your elbows and step in time!"
"What's going on?" Ian asked when he, Leia and their parents stepped into the room. "What's going on, step in time! What's going on, step in time!" the kickline exclaimed switching to a conga line. "Sounds like a party! Wait for me you guys!" Leia cried joining the dancers. "Wait for me, step in time! Wait for me, step in time!"
"Sorry that I have to leave so soon, but I need to check out what's going on!" Dipper called stepping out the living area to find a musical number taking place, with Haruko leading the conga line wearing a sombrero & shaking maracas while Tyrone, Mabel, Leia, Juan, Jorge and Soos were among the line. "Why are we singing?"
"Why are we singing, step in time! Why are we singing, step in time!" the singers repeated his question before they turned from a conga line to a riverdance just as Stan came wheeling in, which made Dipper say "Good morning Grunkle Stan!"
"Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time! Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time!" the dance company repeated which prompted Stan to shout "What's all this?!" in shock. "What's all this, what's all this, what's all this!"
"No, I'm being serious! Stop singing everything I say!" Stan added getting more frustrated. "Everything I say, step in-" Suddenly the elderly con-man whipped out a rifle and started opening fire, making everyone run around panicking. "Now whoever says step in time again is gonna have to pay the price!" the crippled grunkle threatened. "I'm not gonna point any fingers here, but I am pointing this at your fingers. And trust me when I say, you're gonna miss the middle one!"
The dancers dispersed and most of them ran out of the hovel in a single file line while Stan angrily waved his firearm around. "That's right, keep running! And stay out!" he shouted slamming the door. "Can't believe that woman, she forced me to chase off potential customers."
"Fezhead, it's been ages!" Haruko shouted happily. "Hey, did you gain weight, is that a new fez? Very snazzy on you!" Stan on the other hand just smacked her in the face hard with his tennis ball cane and sent her flying into the wall with a bloody face and some teeth missing. "What's up with that? Is that the way to treat an old friend?"
"Old friends don't sacrifice family members to get it on with giant birds!" Stan screamed as loud as his geriatric vocal chords could take it. "There was this one time when Ford and I were forced to eat dead birds! AND THEIR GENITALS DIDN'T TASTE ANY GOOD!"
"Hey chill out you two!" Mabel ordered trying to be a meditator between the great uncle and the bassist. "Now, I know Haruko may be a complete maniac that nearly killed us all, but let's focus on all her positive qualities and let bygones be bygones."
"Yeah for example, I did give some important life lessons in my own bizarre fashion." Haruko added turning away from Stan with her hands behind her head and a satisfied grin on her face. "And she can be pretty reliable when the situation calls for it." Dipper agreed. "You can say that about her, right?"
"Okay, I can give Raharu that." Stanley stated turning away as well, which sent chills down Haruko's spine. "H-h-how did you know?" she stuttered fearfully. "I overheard that other guitar lady say that regarding you, about how it could be your real name." the old man answered. "To be honest, I can relate to that."
"Oh-ho my, look at the time! I gotta go...find a crate that'll take me to Abu Dhabi!" Haruko nervously fibbed before she jumped backwards out the window. However in the exact same amount of time, she jumped back inside in front of Gwen. "Hey Gwen, think you could find that Arnold kid? He left before I came in." She dove back out the window just as Jinyu stepped in. "That was her, the woman on the Vespa!"
"You mean Haruko? Yeah, she's an absolute hellion but what's gotten you panicking?" Stan remarked. "Jinyu said she came here to defend us Stanley, and I think this is what she was talking about." Ford explained. "Why don't we take things somewhere more private?"
"That sounds reasonable." Jinyu replied. "But what about the children?" she asked bringing up the twins. "Don't worry Jinyu, they're in good hands." Stan assured her. "Just as long as a certain someone doesn't creep on them."
When the door shut, the kids were left alone in the gift shop with Wendy, Pacifica, Soos and Melody. "So any idea on where Arnold went?" Tyrone asked. "Well sometimes I see him walk to that new Little Asia place they've been building lately." Ian answered. "You know the one. They have food vendors, a karaoke bar, hot spring, basically all the stereotypical Asian tourist stuff."
"And Professor Chiu is a pretty big part in helping create it!" Leia added excitedly. "Plus her dreamboat of a son Ezra!"
"Does this mean we're going on a trip?" Tyrone chirped. "Woo, going Japanese baby!" Juan cheered. "And let's not try to be insensitive unlike last time." Jorge added. "I can still see the sumo yakuza crushing me between their stomachs when I close my eyes."
"Great, I'll get my truck around and we can head off!" Wendy stated. "Hey Dipper, we're going to Little Asia! Do you and the others wanna come with?"
"Can't right now honey, but we'll catch up with you!" Dipper replied walking downstairs with his sister, great-uncles and Jinyu into Ford's old room that the maid turned into her own. "All right Jinyu, we need to talk."
"Yeah, we wants answers!" Mabel said shining a light in Jinyu's face. "While I wouldn't get them out of her like that," Ford replied pushing the light away. "there are some questions that need answering. Namely, where did you come from? What is your connection to Haruko? Why is her hair suddenly orange now?"
"Me and Raharu? Okay then." Jinyu answered without missing a beat. "She and I are indeed related."
The trip to Little Asia didn't take very long, but it did give Gwen time to think about her horn and her father's history with that woman before she spotted the robot that attacked her, Tyrone and Arnold now working as a crossing guard who gave the girl a friendly wave.
"We're finally here!" Tyrone cheered when they finally reached Gravity Falls' newest tourism hotspot. Like it's namesake continent, there were brightly-colored signs, food stands all around and various places to hang out like a karaoke club at the center of it all.
"Come on everyone, say it with me!" Juan shouted raising his hands like he just doesn't care; and he, Jorge and Tyrone cried "BANZAI!" before tilting to one side. "Let's net get too excited." Gwen stated hopping down from the logging truck. "We still need to find Arnold."
"Hey, I can see Ezra and his mom over there!" Leia said pointing to Ezra Chiu, a skinny young man with short black hair wearing a white button-up shirt and glasses speaking with his mother Candy about additional plans for Little Asia. Suddenly Ezra noticed the kids and grimaced. "Oh, hello children."
"What up hotstuff?" Leia flirtatiously greeted Ezra, to his displeasure. "I swear to God Leia, if you ask me out on another beach date and wear something insanely revealing again, I'm filing a restraining order!" Ezra complained before his mother put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Be nice my boy, they're family friends."
"Affirmed mother." Candy's son groaned in defeat. "So what brings you to Little Asia everyone?" he asked with a fake smile. "We're looking for my cousin Arnold and it's been said he comes here a lot." Gwen answered. "Do you know where?"
"Oh yes, he works as a waiter at the Bloated Dragon karaoke club." Ezra explained thumbing to that very building marked with a neon sign depicting an overstuffed dragon. "Though you should definitely watch your step in there since that's the favorite hangout for-"
"The sumo yakuza, we know!" Jorge interrupted shivering in fear and trying to take his mind off that terrifying event. "Hey look, takoyaki!" he exclaimed pointing to a food truck manned by a familiar girl. "Sold by that cultist girl from earlier!"
"What up kids, what poison would you like to pick today?" Haruko offered flaunting her goods in a pair of shorts and a crop top covered by an apron with her hair in pigtails. "And hello there there handsome!"
"Hey, I called dibs you culinary transport wench!" Leia shouted shielding Ezra from the biker's advances. "Give me everything you've got!" Tyrone exclaimed slamming a wad of hundred dollar bills on the counter. "Oh-ho, someone's a big spender." Haruko chortled handing the boy all her stock. "Enjoy your street food, pyon!"
"You do realize they literally have octopuses in them, right?" Juan asked before he got a takoyaki stuffed into his mouth. "Hey, these ain't half bad!"
While they continued searching for Arnold, the Pines and Ramirez families were given a tour of Little Asia by Candy & Ezra, seeing all the sights, eating the food and buying souvenirs.
"What do you think, is it your color?" Pacifica asked her niece while she modeled a pink yukata with crescent moon patterns. "It's okay if you don't like it, there's this other Prussian blue one that's got sunflowers on them."
"No, it's fine." Gwen muttered before Jorge kicked down a door with his new pair of geta. "Check out my rockin' new sandals!" he announced. "Definitely leagues more comfy than those old clogs!"
Meanwhile Ezra rested in the hot springs, letting all his troubles waft away with the steam. That is, except for one trouble when Leia sat down beside him in the buff. "This is the life, eh Ez?"
"Uh, shouldn't you have a towel on?" Ezra yipped in surprise at his admirer relaxing naked next to him. "I mean, it doesn't matter but it's still good manners!"
"Aw come on honey, I'm an attractive girl with an attractive boy, both naked together." Leia stated before the half-Korean teen interrupted her. "If you're implying what I think you're implying, then no!" he shouted. "Can't we just hang out like normal teenagers without you advancing on me?"
"Yeah, maybe you're right." the eldest Ramirez daughter realized. "Why don't we be just friends for a bit, if that makes you happy?" she offered. "That would be so much better." Ezra agreed.
In the shopping district of Little Asia, Ian walked Abby out of a store with a straw hat on her head. "I don't know how many dollars is 5,000 yen, but I'm pretty sure I gave up a good portion of my college fund to get you that hat." he remarked. "That's okay big brother, because I got something for you too!" Abby revealed presenting her brother with a kabuki mask. "Hey, that's awesome! Thanks Abby!"
"How have you not passed out from the amount of food you've eaten yet?!" Juan cried dragging an exhausted Tyrone by the arm while the other boy clutched his stomach with the other. "I won't give up just yet!" Tyrone declared raising a finger to the air before he started getting dizzy and fell down. "Okay, now I give up."
"That reminds me, why haven't we given up on finding Arnold yet?" Imelda asked putting her hands on her hips. "Everyone seems more concerned about Little Asia itself than looking for him."
"You do realize that we're now right in front of that Bloated Dragon place Ezra mentioned, right?" Juan pointed out gesturing to the marquee of the club. "I think Arnold works there."
"Yeah, let's go inside and see!" Tyrone woozily said while getting up. "Are we finally going in there?" Gwen asked walking up to them in her pink moon yukata. "Yeah! And your new bathrobe looks nice." her brother answered complimenting her attire while opening the door.
"But through it all, when there was doubt!" a man with long black hair passionately sang My Way in a duet with another mustached man wearing glasses. "I ate it up, and spit it out!" the other man added just as loud. "The record shows, I took the blows!" the duo finished their number while the crowd cheered. "AND DID IT MY WAY!"
"Thank you Curtis and Greg for that beautiful rendition of a Frank Sinatra classic!" the MC announced as the two men left the stage. "Now if anyone else would like to make a request, the suggestion box is open for all guests of the Bloated Dragon!"
The Bloated Dragon itself looked very lively, filled with residents of Gravity Falls and tourists flooding the establishment. Off to the side was the bar where a dandy looking gentleman tended to it.
"If you find any very rotund people in suit jackets, be sue to keep your eyes off them at all times." Jorge cautioned Gwen & Tyrone while making sure they did not grab the attention of the three sumo yakuza. One had blonde hair, blue sumo briefs and a white jacket. The second was Asian with red briefs and a grey jacket. The third one had dark skin with black briefs and a matching jacket.
"Joseph Ramirez!" the Asian sumo yakuza yelled slapping his palm on the table. "You still owe us a great amount of chocolatey water as recompense for insulting our posteriors!"
"Wait, did you call their-" Tyrone wondered before he was cut off. "You two just sit at the bar while I settle things." he informed the twins as he stepped away from them. "Konichiwa my friends! How's it going tonight?"
"Good day to you children. What shall you have?" the effeminate bartender asked pouring a few drinks. "We'll have two iced teas sir." Gwen quietly ordered. "And I'll take mine in a dirty glass!" Tyrone added to the admiration of the barkeep. "Oh-ho my, someone's playing tough!"
"I'm not playing tough, I am tough!" Tyrone shouted squinting one eye and spitting into a bucket. "Aw, you're just precious sonny." the mixologist said patting the boy on the head before serving the kids their iced teas. "Here's your tea children. Drink up now!"
"Why does he think I'm not tough? I remember when I tried to go all Schwarzenegger on that robot that tried to kill us and Arnold!" Tyrone complained sipping his tea. "Maybe it's because deep down, you're only acting that way to seem mature in front of others while not wanting to grow up." a biker sitting next to them fiddling with a bowl of mixed nuts answered. "Tarot Turner, at your service."
"Is that like a stagename or something?" Tyrone asked shaking Turner's hand. "Indeed it is. My real name is Timothy." Turner stated. "If my name didn't tell you yet, I'm a fortune teller. With a literal grasp of my client's hand, I can get a whole lotta info on them!"
"What kind of info?" Gwen asked finishing her iced tea. "Let me show you." Tarot answered taking the girl's hand, and with a small glint in his eyes began listing off various things about her. "Your name is Gwendolyn Kristen Pines, age 12, birthdate February 21, 2020. Your birthstone is amethyst and star sign Pisces. Despite your emotionless exterior, deep down lies an intelligent, loving young woman. You have a Little Dipper birthmark on your forehead similar to your father, who's own birthmark is the Big Dipper. You were only ten years old when you had your first p-"
"Hey, she wanted you to show her what you've got; not be a total creep!" Tyrone shouted defensively. "Don't get so wound up, it's normal for girls. If you were one, you'd understand better." Turner commented. "Speaking of which..."
He took Tyrone's hand and began listing his information. "Your name is Tyrone Filbrick Pines, age 9, birthdate June 23, 2023. Your birthstone is pearl and star sign Cancer. You are an energetic lad who will not hesitate to protect his loved ones. A lover of the great outdoors with a natural talent for knitting inherited from your paternal aunt."
"What do those say about us mister?" Gwen asked as Turner let go of Tyrone's hand. "Well here's something I found within the both of you, the fear of getting older." Tarot stated. "Now before you ask what children your age wouldn't; let me explain further, especially to you Gwen. You have recurring nightmares of losing everyone from your friends to your family and eventually yourself."
"Yeah, she kinda thinks too far into the future a lot." Tyrone replied. "That is very good to know children." Turner responded. "And speaking of the future, CAN SOMEBODY TURN OFF THAT BITCH OF A PRESIDENT?!" he suddenly screamed at the television above them where President Maki Kitaki was making a flowery yet harsh speech. "SERIOUSLY, POLITICS ARE CORRUPT ENOUGH BUT DO WE NEED AN OLD HAG LIKE HER RUNNING THINGS?!"
"I got it!" Tyrone chirped throwing his dirty glass at the television, causing the screen to break and fall to the ground. "He said turn it off, but breaking it works too." the bartender quipped. "Oy vey. Just when the giant carrot finally got chopped, we get a shriveled up prune to replace him."
"Rumor has it Senator Gideon is plotting to impeach her and become prez when the time comes." Turner declared with a confident grin. "Hey I hate to be rude, but what's all these political jokes got to do with our futures?" Tyrone replied curiously just as a door beside the countertop opened, and Arnold stepped out with a plate of wineglasses in his hands. "Oh hey, there's Arnold!"
"Here-here are your drinks sirs." Arnold whimpered serving the wines. The three criminals glared at their orders before the Asian sumo took his glass. Mere moments after taking a sip, he loudly spat the beverage in the boy's face. "This is not what I ordered! For this great dishonor to our organization, you shall suffer our girth!"
"No Tubby-dono, yamate!" Arnold cried in fear while the black-clad sumo picked him up by the arms and Tubby unbuttoned his jacket to reveal a large imprint shaped like Jorge on his wide stomach. "Please have mercy on the guy my friends!" Jorge begged. "Let me take his place! I've already survived that belly, I can do it again!"
"You stay outta this man!" the blonde sumo ordered preparing to crush Arnold. "Is everyone just going to stand and watch?" Tyrone shouted ready to defend his cousin when he was stopped by the barkeep. "I'm sorry young man, but this is a regular occurrence with the sumo yakuza here." he said. "But thankfully no one's died of suffocation! Yet."
Gwen however just stood & watched as Arnold was tortured by the obese gangsters and began having visions of her cousin falling victim to the atomic explosion from her nightmare. Her beanie began trembling as she dropped to her knees moaning in agony.
"Gwen!" Tyrone exclaimed concernedly. "I see something is wrong with your sister!" Turner added just as worried for the girl. "Is there a doctor in the house?!" he called out for a doctor as one rose up from his table to declare "I am not a doctor!"
"Well, we tried." the barman said with a shrug. Gwen continued screaming before her expression turned from pain to rage at the yakuza. "Leave him alone!" she screamed at the two sumo crushing him between their bellies. "Look at her. For a girl so little, she seems so strong." Tubby remarked dropping the boy while he and his compatriot bowed in respect. "May good fortune be unto you."
"This is much like what I said about your brother!" Tarot exclaimed. "Deep down , you care for your family and fear losing them as you get older!"
"Y-you saved my life." Arnold stuttered in amazement. "T-thank you so much!" He burst into tears hugging Gwen, who then collapsed in his arms. "OMG, are you okay?!"
"Don't fret kid. Just get her changed into regular clothes, put her behind the counter and call your families." Tarot advised helping the girl up.
"We came as fast as we could!" Leia shouted barging into the Bloated Dragon with Ezra, her siblings and the parents behind her. "I had to give up some bonding with Ezra not involving me crushing on him for this!"
"It's all right milady, your friend is currently being tended to behind the bar." the barman stated tossing out an old ice pack in favor of a new one. "Would you be willing to assist?"
"You'll be okay Gwen, just lie down and rest." Tarot soothed Gwen who lied down with the biker's jacket over her like a blanket. When she finally woke up, she moaned for a bit before seeing Tyrone & Arnold happy that she was awake. "Guys? What happened?"
"You fell down after standing up to those two sumo guys while your hat was being all weird again!" Tyrone explained helping her up. "Yeah, it was really awesome how you stood up for me there, even if you didn't realize it." Arnold added. "Just goes to show how inseparable we are."
"Yeah, we're an invincible trio!" Tyrone cheered victoriously pumping his fists in the air while Arnold smiled & laughed and Gwen just grinned.
"AAAAND CUT!" a familiar voice exclaimed ruining the pleasant feel-good mood. Suddenly the spotlights over the stage shone on Haruko, now speaking into a rolled-up magazine like a movie director. "That was just perfect! Tres bien, bravah, truly Oscar-worthy!"
"She with you?" the bartender asked. "Unfortunately yes." Ian replied. "Everyone take five! We'll start on the next scene in a bit!" the Vespa Woman directed tossing the magazine away to use the bathroom. Juan and Jorge immediately ran up and started pounding the door. "Hey, open up!" Juan shouted. "We know you're still in there! Come on bro, assume the Z-pose!"
The brothers shaped their arms in the image of the letter Z at the door before Haruko exited. "Can't a girl go to the bathroom in peace?" she mused amusedly. "Let me guess, is this how far that stupid T-pose has come? I bet you're gonna rewind to A and go all the way to S."
"Just tell us Raharu, or Haruko or whatever you call yourself!" Pacifica shouted while her face turned red in irritation. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"Hm, tough number. But would a rap number suffice?" Haruko answered dropping a suggestion into the box to drop some beats. "Wait, what?" said a confused Tarot while the biker took the mic. "You got no dreams of your own, so you help your friends with theirs, yo." Haruko began rapping. "Uh, you say you're helping, who is it that gains, huh? Is it your girl or a personal companion?"
"What does this song about the dreams of your friends have to do with this?" Soos inquired.
"Let's get scratchin'!" a DJ shouted playing his turntable. "You got no life plans, say you got no dreams! So you help your friend with nosy schemes!" the woman on the Vespa continued. "Your ego's just playing, that's what I'm saying! You're like a toaster, useful as a poster! Can't find the one thing that matters the mosta!"
"Would any of you like me to take your hands and read fortunes tonight while this is going on?" Tarot offered extending his fingerless gloved hand. "Sure, I got nothing better to do." Ian accepted. "Besides, this has been a day full of musical numbers that'll probably never be spoken of again."
"It's a night to go dancing girl! Yeah that's right, I mean fighting girl!" Raharu declared continuing her inexplicable song. "That's the trend, I got no HQ and I got no friends. Beating up the robots like laying ten. Alone in this battle and I see no end!" The music began to reach its climax. "Communication is nothing girl! And transmission is nothing girl! I'm afraid of the big man girl. COME ON, FREESTY-"
Suddenly she was interrupted by Jinyu and the Pines crashing through the club's roof on her Bel-Air, now turned into a giant robot. "I finally found you!" the maid declared glaring at Haruko. "Yeah, the jig is up Raharu! Now let the kids go!" Stan added fiercely. "Wait, is that you Tubby? How's Jackson doing?"
"Father is still serving in prison." Tubby answered preparing to leave. "Well tell him I said hi and that he can burn in Hell when it's time to visit!" the old man called to the sumo as his gang departed. "And as for you!"
"Daddy!" Tyrone shouted rushing to his father with Gwen behind him. "Kids, I'm so glad she hasn't hurt you yet!" Dipper weeped with joy hugging his children. "It's okay Dad," Gwen said. "she just sang a rap song that barely had anything to do with our situation."
"Mommy!" Arnold bawled rushing into Mabel's arms. "I nearly got killed by gangsters and Gwen became really unwell!" he cried to his mother. "It's alright little guy, I'm here." Mabel soothed her nervous son. "I'm here."
"Pardon me for being rude, but what the hell is going on here?" the bartender asked. "Like, was this lady with the guitar here the entire time and why did this weaponized Chevrolet crash through my roof?!"
"Looks like you're in need of some required reading." the orange-haired guitarist stated dropping a copy of the entire previous Fooly Falls and the previous chapter of this sequel before the barman. "How charming, a little biography." he remarked beginning to read. "His eyebrows taste like what now?!"
"Now simmer down everyone. I'm sure there's a way we can resolve this without anyone getting harmed." Tarot stated getting between the two women. "That reminds me." He took Arnold's hand and began reading him. "Your name is Arnold Walter Pines; age 10, birthdate May 25, 2022. Your birthstone is emerald and star sign Gemini. Your anxiety, nervousness and worrying for others are often the first traits that come to mind when talked about. However, you are very quick-witted, compassionate and willing to help others when there's no other options."
"It worked like a charm on all of us too." Juan stated. "Hey Ian, do you think me, Jorge and Leia act the way we do is because we're afraid to grow up?"
"Now that you think about it, I think Imelda and I may be acting too old for our age." Ian answered. "But Abby's pretty okay compared to us, since she's only four."
"Shut up and let's cut to the chase," Haruko interrupted everyone's conversations. "who are you?"
"You can't pretend you don't know me, Haruha Raharu." Jinyu growled. "Rue the day I met you." the Vespa rider rolled her eyes. "You can rue all you want, but you can't escape me!" the maid continued, which prompted her rival to start looking like she was done with everything and muttered "Meter-maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus."
"Cause I know all this is an act!" Julia stated. "You need me, you're not a lone wolf!"
"Loners are-" Haruko began but then stopped herself. "Oh wait, I lost the game."
"This is no time for arguing you two! Just make peace with one another and, I don't know, chill on the beach in Tahiti? I hear it's a magical place!" Mabel suggested attempting to find harmony between the two women. "I see how it is." Jinyu said. "Then we'll just have to use force!"
The arm of Jinyu's transforming car grabbed Gwen and held her hostage in front of her counterpart. "Huh, that's how you wanna do things?" Haruko sneered. "This is a matter between you and me!" Jinyu answered. "So don't lay a hand on her or her family!"
"But it's fine for you to use a big robotic hand?" Haruko responded with a grin before Dipper stopped everything. "No, us Pines have known her for far longer Jinyu! Let me handle her and keep my daughter safe!" he commanded waving his hand around before summoning the very same Rickenbacker that he and Mabel were left with. "Remember this old thing?"
"You still have it? Aw, you're such a sweetie-pie Takk-" Haruko cooed and was promptly greeted with a guitar to the head. "Oh I see!" she cried whipping out a pair of 1967 Model Mustangs, one she came back to Gravity Falls with and the other she pulled out of Dipper earlier. "Show me how far you've come big boy!"
"All right, place your bets everyone!" the bartender announced setting up a betting ring while Dipper and Haruko took to the skies. "Who shall be tonight's victor: our mystery rapper, her apparent old friend with a Rickenbacker or the maid and her Cybertronian buddy?!"
"Go get 'er Dipper!" Stan cried slapping a large wad of cash on the table as the patrons began cheering and the Pines watched with worry.
"Hafta say Pine Tree, you haven't changed a bit!" Haruko shouted wielding the twin guitars in combat against Dipper. The two of them hovered over Little Asia in their clash and their instruments collided. "Whatever happened to that double-necked one you left me with?" Dipper asked. "Spoilers squirt!" his fellow guitar wielder cried before she was met with a guitar head to the face and sent flying. "YAAAAAA-HOO-HOO-HOOOOOOEY!"
"Quick, after them!" Ian commanded as Jinyu's Bel-Air followed the two throughout Little Asia. "Damn it all, where did they go?!" Ezra added in irritation before spotting Haruko flying backwards from being smacked in the face. Suddenly, they stopped in front of the food truck which was now run by a rather unlucky passerby. "I suppose you're another victim of hers?"
"She forced me to run this place without my consent after bashing my head in with her bass!" the young man running the truck whimpered sticking a squirt gun on the counter. "Then this weird little water gun popped out before she said I wasn't good enough! And what's worse, this truck has nothing to sell!" he explained. "At least it's still better than being forced by my abusive father into piloting a giant robot powered by my mother's soul and getting horny around three hot chicks who don't care for my well-"
"Yeah we don't care! Bye!" Stan shut the man up and cuing the car to keep driving. "Aw man. At least you still care about me, right random old man?" the reluctant food trucker asked the old man in the eyepatch. "Uh hey, earth to uh, can I call you Eyepatch?"
"She's got tons of boundless energy like a shooting star!" Eyepatch commented in amazement. "Speaking of which, has that contact been found yet?" he asked the other man in the cap. "Yeah, he should be arriving soon."
After KO'ing Haruko, Dipper took a moment to collect himself on a nearby rooftop. He panted harshly after such an equally harsh face-off and then smiled, knowing that hopefully his family would finally be safe from her.
Until he saw a familiar twinkle of light in the distance followed by a certain girl surfing on one of her Mustangs in a bunny suit.
"Oh goddamnit."
"DAICON THIRTY-THREE!" Haruko screamed aiming her other guitar like a rocket launcher that she fired at her ex-Takkun. Fortunately for Dipper, it didn't hit him in the face.
But rather, in his groin as he let out a high-pitched shriek and was sent blasting off the building. "S-she hit me in the dick." he squeaked in pain after landing on the ground while Jinyu's convertible rolled up beside him. "Why?! Why did she hit me in the dick?"
"Oh quit your squealing kid and get back up there." Stan ordered as his great-nephew got up while clutching his unmentionables. "No, let him rest Mr. Pines." Jinyu stated taking up arms. "It's my turn."
"Well, have it your way." Haruko snarked hovering above them before she spawned a leash to capture Arnold with and spun him around like a lasso. "LASER BEAM!" she cried tossing him at the back of the car, making it tip over and giving her a chance to hit it with her guitar. "You can't escape me!"
The car fell to the ground causing Arnold to fly upward, screaming all the way. "Arnie!" Gwen called for her cousin. The two women went at it glowing red and blue respectively while clashing instruments. "Take this!" Haruko shouted coated with red energy while she fought Jinyu's blue aura.
"Get her Jinyu!" Ford cheered the maid on. "You've become close to her just like Raharu and I were, haven't you?" Stan inquired. "Talk about history repeating itself, though thankfully she won't betray us for that Atomsk guy."
"Okay, maybe I have Stan. But there's still more I want to know about her and Raharu!" Stanford answered. "Perhaps at some point I should hook them up to Project Mentem. Dipper and Ian have been helping me fix it up and make it a more basic memory reader."
"You're going to make the same mistake again?! There's no light at the end of this tunnel, just give it up already!" Jinyu cautioned while the duo's guitar necks collided. "No way Jose!" Haruko responded pulling Arnold up by his leash and preparing to beat him. "The bases are all loaded! AND IT'S A LINE DRIVE!"
A bulge emerged from Arnold's forehead, causing the robot that had menaced him last chapter to emerge while its meal it was having with Eyepatch was interrupted. "AAAAND PLAY BALL!" the Vespa Woman screamed sending the machine flying towards her rival. "Agh, but haven't you already been playing ball!?" Jinyu groaned in frustration blocking the robot jabbing its legs at her. "Come on! You know you're not going to reach him like this, don't you?!"
Haruko just snickered before forcing the automaton to deal a nasty blow that sent Julia crashing into an abandoned part of Little Asia. Meanwhile her car sputtered to life and tossed Gwen into the driver's seat before preparing to take off. "Hey, wait for me!" Tyrone shouted dragging himself into the conflict by jumping the vehicle as it turned into a battleship complete with cannons everywhere.
As soon as Haruko and the robot were in its line of sight, the Bel-Air began opening fire while doing a barrel roll, much to Gwen's fright and Tyrone's excitement. "THIS IS TOTALLY WICKED!" Tyrone screamed elatedly while the vehicle continued firing and chased Haruko throughout Gravity Falls's personal Chinatown.
"What are you all doing?!" Ezra stamped his foot in fury at the damage being caused to the tourist attraction his mother helped work so hard on before Leia put a comforting hand on his back, causing him to blush. "Don't touch me like that you lovesick fool!"
"You can't do this alone, you know you can't reach him without me!" Jinyu cried after hopping on the hood of her flying car. "No need to peepee in your panties!" Haruko jeered in response. "The reason you know this is because you and I are one!" Julia added, which lead to Haruko commanding the machine to form a drill that dashed toward the transforming car, and the latter machine gave it a hard punch.
In the struggle however, the car was badly damaged as well and exploded into light. "KIDS!" Dipper and Wendy cried for their young. But just then, the light coming from the Bel-Air formed various floating needles that circled Haruko & Arnold. "One, ten, hundred, a thousand!" the Vespa Woman cackled arrogantly hitting the needles. "They call me the infamous Flaming Slugger!"
As Arnold was unfortunately caught in the crossfire and electrocuted by the needles' laser beams, Jinyu backflipped to the kids still in her car. "Gwen, your family and I warned you and your friends not to get involved with that woman. She will only use you for her own benefit." she explained. "Worst case scenario, you could die."
"Could die?" Gwen gasped turning to her brother. "Yeah, that could potentially happen." Tyrone commented while the twins watched Haruko. "And I don't think we'll go out being awesome like in all those Japanese shows or come back to life within a few days like in the comics."
"Hey batter batter batter!" she chanted while Arnold continued crying out in pain from electric shock. "We gotta do something to save Arnie Gwen! I don't think being tossed around on a leash while being electrocuted is a manly way to die!" Tyrone began panicking but his older sister gave no reply.
She continued to stare at the orange-haired woman continuing to torment Arnold while seeing images from her nightmare of the day and felt what seemed like an aneurism.
"Gwen?!" Jinyu & Tyrone said in unison as the girl's cap began glowing. She then finally screamed as the horn she kept hidden under a bandage on her forehead jutted out from the roof of the car. It could be seen from everywhere in Little Asia, even from a rental tuktuk that refused to work with Dipper & Mabel and their grunkles while they tried to race for the kids.
"Come on you damned rental car, let us save our family!" Dipper groaned in anger before the sirens of Medical Mechanica sounded. "Uh, kids? Do you hear that?" Stan butted in. "Oh good grief, it's happening again!" Mabel exclaimed sticking her head out the window of the auto-rickshaw to see what was now happening.
"No Gwen!" Jinyu cried as the horn of Dipper's daughter began pulling her through the roof and glowed a bright purple. Scrap metal from across the entire Roadkill County started floating off the ground and towards the girl.
"No way, she overcame the enzyme inhibitor?!" the maid gasped. "Anemonemome-what now?" Tyrone asked clinging onto Jinyu's back. "Inhibition?" Haruko added just as confused while the metal poured into Gwen's horn and made an explosion that spread far above Little Asia. When the dust settled, there was a giant crater where Gwen once was and out of it came a tiny robot that looked just like her.
"Huh? What-what-what is that, nyah?" Haruko meowed descending to the ground to examine the robot Gwen. While the woman watched it, the other Pines finally arrived in the tuktuk at the crater. "Gwen?!" Dipper panicked bursting from the rental vehicle to find Haruhara in front of a gynoid resembling her daughter. "What did you do to her Raharu?!"
"Me? I didn't do nuttin'!" Raharu defended herself before the little machine touched her chest. "No touchy."
Another explosion came, this one sending Haruko flying and everyone in complete awe. The robot stumbled over and flew to the woman with a singular muscular arm to punch her with. It then punched itself in the face, causing it to form into a blob that then formed Gwen with blood squirting out her head.
"Gwen!?" Dipper and Jinyu exclaimed in concern for the girl while Haruko finally woke up. "What just happened?" she muttered falling headfirst to the ground. "Don't worry Arnold, I got ya!" Stan shouted trying to break his great-grandnephew's fall, but instead found his ex-partner in crime crashing onto his lap while Ford caught the boy. "AUGH, MY PELVIS!"
"Gwen, Gwen?!" the maid muttered trying to wake the girl up. "Tyrone, Mom & Dad, Aunt Mabel, Arnold..." Gwen mumbled gazing at her family as they tried to help her cousin recover. Jinyu whistled, motioning for the needles to fuse into her car that she and Ford tossed the kids into before it turned into a makeshift hospital bed. "Don't worry, you'll recover in a few hours. You did a good job but-"
"Hold it right there!" Haruko interrupted her other half with Stanley's tennis ball tipped walking stick in hand. "Now matter how you slice and dice it, those three are mine."
Gwen began to wake up and found Arnold next to her while the rest of their friend circle racing to their side. "Holy rigatoni you guys, did you see what Gwen just did there?!" Jorge shouted excitedly. "I mean first all this metal came from across the county and it looked like she was gonna turn into a big Sentai robot, but then she turned into a little bot that looked just like her!"
As Jorge continued babbling, Gwen weakly stared at the upside down Arnold. "You look terrible." he said laughing weakly. "You look terrible too." Gwen replied beginning to laugh as well. "We all look terrible!" Tyrone shouted getting between the two. "Well, I'm pretty okay but let's fix that." He tried to make himself look just as banged up as his relatives by rubbing some dirt on his face. "Much better."
The three kids laughed in the Bel-Air while the others looked on. "Makes me long for the days when I was an innocent youth just like all of you." Ezra lamented longing for the good old days. "Well, time for me to find Mom and tell her what happened." he stated preparing to walk away before he turned to find Leia blowing him a kiss. "Neo salanghaneun babo."
"Those three are really close, aren't they?" Haruko remarked gazing upon this touching scene alongside Dipper. "Thick as thieves ever since they were small." Dipper responded, which prompted him to ask her a question. "Speaking of which, why did you ever come back to us in your search for him?" he asked. "There are tons of other impressionable youths in the world for you to harass! In fact, don't you have a family of your own; what about your home planet?"
The Pines father's inquiry managed to make Haruko surprisingly nervous for once as she turned away with a scowl and tears in her eyes. "Was there anyone you cared for that felt the same to you, ever?!"
"Rick." Haruhara muttered under her breath clenching her fist. "What was that?" Dipper asked one more time which prompted Haruko to smack him in the face with the Mustang she pulled out of him. "That's none of your business you baka!" she screamed harshly mounting her Vespa. "You can keep that Mustang, now leave me alone!"
She sped off in a huff while Mabel, Stan, Ford, Jinyu and the kids appeared behind him. "What's her problem?" Tyrone asked. "I don't know. I just asked if there was someone who ever loved her back and she just smashed my face." Dipper answered. "I don't think anyone ever has."
"I can see why." Stan scoffed making Jinyu smack him on the head. "Can you be more sensitive Mr. Pines?" she scolded him. "What did Raharu say Dipper?"
"I could barely hear her, but I think she mentioned someone named Rick." Dipper stated, which made Ford freeze up before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh for the love of God." the old scientist muttered frustrated. "Something the matter Ford?" Mabel asked her great uncle. "It's nothing everyone. I'll see you back at the Shack." Ford answered racing away from the others, the only thing he could hear from them was Tyrone explaining how he, Juan & Jorge were going to teach Arnold how to be a man.
When he got far away from his family, Ford silently pulled a picture of himself with another elderly scientist with oddly grey skin, light blue hair with a matching colored unibrow and some strange fluid staining his lower lip out of his pocket. "Of course it would be you Sanchez." he sighed. "Maybe you're the reason why Raharu clicked so much with Stan in the past."
"Something the matter sir?" the voice of a man in a suit with glasses and a stubble asked. "When did you get here?!" Ford stammered in shock. "About an hour ago." the man answered extending his hand. "Tsukata Kanda of the Department of Interstellar Immigration."
"Stanford Filbrick Pines." Ford introduced himself and the two shook hands. "So, you know about Raharu as well?"
At last, chapter 2 is done! I may have had those bad computer problems earlier this month, but thankfully my dad passed down his old laptop to me and now I'm back in business! But before we all part, I'd like to just list off what Tarot Turner read about the Ramirez kids.
Ian: Age 17, birthdate April 5, 2015. Birthstone: diamond, star sign: Aquarius. A natural born leader who has a habit of being overly expressive, especially in his hands. Despite sometimes being impulsive and impatient, he remain a gentle soul and compassionate older brother.
Leia: Age 15, birthdate July 13, 2017. Birthstone: ruby, star sign, Leo. She presents herself as a fun-loving, competitive girl but deep down, she possesses some self doubt on what she wants to do with her life.
Juan & Jorge: Age 11, birthdate November 10, 2021. Birthstone: topaz, star sign: Scorpio. To say they love sticking out amongst the crowd would be saying something! They are fascinated by ridiculous outfits as they are by manliness, yet they believe they can never be true men themselves.
Imelda: Age 7, birthdate January 7, 2025. Birthstone: garnet, star sign: Capricorn. Fussy and focused to a fault, Imelda sets up this image of a mature little girl but still internally wishes to act like a normal child.
Abby: Age 4, birthdate September 29, 2028. Birthstone: sapphire, star sign: Libra. Contrary to her family, Abby has yet to shown any inner turmoil and remains a cheerful girl who looks up to her older siblings. She shows a particular attachment to Imelda because of how much she watches over her.
And that should be it! See you all next chapter! Oh, this was a long one.
