Thank you so much for the reviews and follows I really appreciate it. Here is the next chapter. It does contain a flashback scene (it wouldn't be OUAT without one!) Would love to hear you thoughts.
Chapter Two
11 Months earlier…..
As the time ticked down slowly Emma found herself nervously twisting the gold band on her finger. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut to stop herself watching the seconds ticking by. She tried to calm herself down by taking deep breathes in and out. But her heart continued to race as it pounded heavily in her chest. She jumped a little when the sound of her phone vibrating on the bathroom shelf echoed around the room. It was finally the moment of truth.
Emma couldn't help but stare intensely at the object in her hand as she blinked away the tears forming in her eyes. She had looked at the result for so long now that the two clear lines and now become blurred into one. She could not believe it!
Her mind quickly started to back track the dates in her head .No this had to be wrong? But the evidence was right in front of her, she could not deny it even if she wanted too. Two home pregnancy kits each showing the same result, positive! She was pregnant…. Again!
Her whole body felt like it was frozen to spot where she stood in the middle of the bathroom. She could hear the sound of Neal stumbling around in their bedroom next door, cursing to himself as he searched for his tie. She knew she had to move but her feet were firmly rooted to the ground.
It just happened to be their family gathering at her parents this evening. Gold and Belle had also been invited. Her mother had been planning this of weeks now. It was the first time they had all been together since she and Neal and ran off and married in secret, it was far too late to back out now.
Her mind began to spin and she could feel her legs tremble. Without even realizing she what she was doing, Emma moved her hand under her top and pressed it against her flat stomach. How could she be pregnant? She just could not get her head around the idea. Apart of her was still clinging to the hope that one of the tests would have shown a negative result.
Emma had tried her best to ignore all the signs over the last few weeks. She had convinced herself that the tiredness and sickness were all in her head. She had put the symptoms down to stress. After everything that had happened over the last year , saving Henry from Neverland, losing and finding Neal again and not forgetting being stuck on the Jolly Roger with her now extended family. Who could blame her? Not once did she think she could be pregnant. But it wasn't until Neal reminded her of the date today she had realized she had missed her last period.
They were going to have baby. But was she really ready for this? A small voice in her head screamed yes. This was all she ever wanted; she had her family and home with Neal. This was her Tallahassee.
Suddenly a rush of excitement and happiness overcame her. She could feel a warm flush over her entire body. She was going to have a baby. For a moment Emma allowed herself to forget all her fears and worries that would come with a new-born baby in their lives. For moment she allowed herself to be happy. Softly Emma brushed her hand across the front of her stomach, feeling the warmth of her palm on her skin. She closed her eyes again imagining Neal smiling up at her as he felt their baby kick against the palm of his hand for the first time.
She could picture herself in the hospital room holding a little bundle in her arms, feeling the weight of her new-born baby for the first time. She could feel Neal with his arm around her holding her close to him and they stared down at their perfect little baby. She could even see Henry sat at the foot of the hospital bed grinning at his new sibling. She could imagine it all. Their baby's first steps, first word, all the memories she had missed with Henry. She could see her family. This was anything she had ever wanted. This was her happy ever after.
To her surprise Emma could feel her cheeks damp with tears as she opened her eyes. Smiling she looked down at her hand which still rested on her stomach. "I want you so much," she whispered softly to the little life growing inside her.
"Emma!" The sound of Neal calling her name made her snap back to reality. Taking a deep breath she slowly made her way out of the bathroom and across the hall to their bedroom.
She took a moment to watch Neal as he threw pillows across the bedroom searching for his missing tie. She could hear him grumbling under his breath, complaining that they were going to be late. Emma could tell when he was nervous; he always behaved this way when he knew he was seeing his father. However this evening had the added pressure of her parents, who had not completely forgiven him for whisking their only child away and marry her without inviting anyone to the wedding. Even though eloping had been all her idea.
"Babe… Have you seen my tie? You know the blue one with the white strips?" He asked as he began scattering clothes around the room. "I swear I put it somewhere I could find it…"
Normally this was where Emma would have made fun of him or would make a sarcastic comment but instead without a word she made her way over to their bed to where her husband's tie hung around the headboard. "Here," she answered holding his tie towards him.
A small embarrassed laugh escaped Neal's lips. "I put it there last night so I wouldn't lose it." He replied as he approached her. "I knew you would find it," he smiled.
Taking a deep breath Emma gently lifted the tie around his neck. Her fingers began to shake ever so slightly as she fixed his tie for him before straightening down the collar on his shirt.
"Thanks." Neal whispered before playfully placing a small kiss onto the tip of her nose. Emma could not stop her eyes from falling to the floor.
Neal could instantly sense something was wrong with his wife. He could tell she was hiding something, Emma was very good at putting up a front but her eyes could never lie to him. Softly he brushed his hand against her cheek lowering it to the bottom of her chin. Gently he moved her chin upwards. His brown warm eyes met her emerald green ones.
"Em… What is it? What's wrong?" He asked his voice full of concern.
Emma took a deep breath before she answered with the words that would change their lives forever. "Neal… I'm pregnant." The words had slipped out so unexpectedly that even Emma was unsure she had even said them. She watched as the color began to fade from Neal's face.
"W..hat?" He stuttered.
"I'm…." Emma began her voice clearly shaking.
"I heard what you said it's just….." He face was in shock. "You're pregnant?" Emma just nodded. She desperately tried to read the emotion on Neal's face. Was he happy? Angry? Upset? Did he not want their baby? His face was just blank and impossible to read,
"How?" He asked.
Emma couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. "Seriously Neal? You are asking me that question?"
Neal sighed heavily as he nervously brushed his hands through his hair. Emma was pregnant! She was going to have a baby, their baby. It took a moment for it to sink in. Slowly he reached out and cupped Emma's cheek with the palm of his hand. His thumb brushed away her alone tear that ran down her cheek. His eyes met hers again as a small smile began to form on his lips.
"Neal… I, know…its.."
Before Emma could finish Neal's mouth crashed against hers, capturing her lips with his. She could feel him wrap his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him. His kiss was passionate. She knew this was his way of telling her how he felt when words couldn't.
It took a moment or two for Emma to respond, her mind had not caught up with her body just yet. But eventually she began to kiss him back, just as hungrily and lifted her arms up and wrapped them around his neck holding onto him tightly, as if she was afraid he was going to leave her again. Every time Neal kissed her, all her fears disappeared. She was that carefree Emma again.
Only when he could see Emma starting to look dizzy he pulled back allowing her to catch her breath. Neal moved his hands to her waist hold her securely against him. He couldn't help but smile at her flushed cheeks.
"What the hell was that?" Emma asked still trying to catch her breath.
A big grin appeared on his face. "I just wanted to show you how much I love you."
Emma watched as his eyes began to brighten with happiness. "We are really going to have baby?" he whispered softly. Emma nodded slowly. A small hint of a smile began to enter her eyes as they glisten with happy tears.
Neal let out a small chuckle. "I can't believe it. We're having a baby."
Emma let out a nervous but relieved laugh. "You do know I'm going to get fat." She informed him.
Neal playfully shrugged, "That's ok, more of you to love."
Emma raised her eyebrow, "I'm going to get really strange cravings."
Neal laughed again, "I'll be at you beck and call day and night. Emma laughed she would definitely hold him to that in the next few months.
"And I'm going to have mood swings." She added.
Neal shrugged again. "So what else is new." He teased, laughing when Emma playfully slapped his chest. "I love you Emma, You, Henry and this baby… it's all I want."
Emma let herself lean into his warm embrace. It was still a wonder to her how Neal always knew the right thing to say and the right time. It was truly a gift he had. "I love you too." She mumbled into his shirt.
Neal again pulled her close and gently brushed his fingers through her golden hair. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her back in his life "I'm never leaving you again." He whispered into her ear.
Emma nodded gently against his chest. "Promise?" She whispered back.
"I promise." He replied placing a kiss onto of her head. They both jumped when the bedroom door swung open.
"Mom, Dad! Hurry up! We're going to be late." Henry whined at them.
Emma and Neal both looked at each for a moment. "We're just coming Kid!" Emma smiled.
Present day…
Emma quickly shut the bathroom door, blocking out the sound of her daughter's whimpers behind her.
Another ounce of guilt overwhelmed her followed by a strange sense of loss. She was angry and frustrated with herself for not being the mother she had longed to be. It felt let she had no control over her emotions anymore. It was a frightening feeling and she had no idea what to do with herself.
Emma reached into the shower and turned the water onto full blast. She reached over to the other dial and turned it until it reached the hottest setting. Slowly she began removing her vest top and pyjamas bottoms.
Steam rose off the water as it hammered down from the shower. Emma stood naked before it with only her swan necklace adorning her body. She wrapped her hand around it and lifted it up over her head. Emma placed a tremulous kiss against the swan charm before placing it onto the bathroom shelf.
Carefully she stepped into the shower allowing the hot harsh spray to hit her body. She let the water wash away the tear stains that covered her face. Emma stood with one hand on each wall of the shower. Her hands pressed firmly against the cold tiles. She needed to feel something stable and fixed. She needed to support herself as her whole body felt weak and exhausted.
As she stood under the shower, the water scorched onto her skin, the searing heat of it was painful. But pain was good; pain stopped her from thinking about anything else. She needed to wash off the guilt, the regret, the remorse. She needed the water to burn it all away.
Her hands scrubbed over her face and through her hair. Eyes closed her tears began to fall once again, but they left no mark, no remains as the water swept them away in its path.
