Elizabeth enjoyed hearing about these aspects of Stefan's life, all of them, but especially the former girlfriends. She always acted like she was jealous, which she could be, if she felt she had any reason to be, but she always realized that she had nothing to worry about. But mostly, she liked hearing about his past, and visualizing where she would have been, in that time, and visualizing those moments in time.
"You do?" Stefan said, when she'd told him this.
"I do." Elizabeth said, smiling at him.
"That almost sounds romantic, Lizzie." Stefan said.
"I like visualizing myself, when you were in law school, and I was on the playground, at recess, jumping rope, maybe, and…"
Stefan shook his head, looking at her biting his lip. He looked at her, smiling. "With anyone?"
"By myself." She looked at him. "Why?"
"Always by yourself, weren't you, Lizzie?"
"I guess." Said Elizabeth flatly. "Why?"
"I just know. You're like me."
"You were always by yourself?"
"I would have been." Said Stefan. "If it weren't for Blane."
"Of course." Said Elizabeth.
"But you didn't have a Blane, did you Lizzie?" said Stefan, stroking her arm.
Elizabeth moved it away deftly, only to have Stefan put his hand back. "I guess I didn't." she shook her head. "My friends were…mostly imaginary."
"Yes." Said Stefan. "I thought they might have been."
"Oh, really?" Elizabeth said angrily. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Now calm down, Liz. I only meant that you are a very…strange type of person." Said Stefan. "And life can't get strange enough for me."
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. She sniffed, and looked into the distance.
"It's true." Said Stefan.
"I had a lot of imaginary boyfriends, too, you know." Elizabeth said. "Well, they weren't really imaginary. They were based on guys I knew, in school, and in the neighborhood, a lot of the time. Imaginary versions of them."
"I see." Stefan said. He shook his head. "I guess one of them would be Toby, then?" He said sourly.
"Well, I did imagine that an imaginary version of Toby and I carried on conversations, because…well, I didn't have the courage to talk to the real Toby." She shook her head. "But there were guys…well, one guy, actually, that I liked, before I met Toby. He was a boy who was a few years older than me, who lived next door to us. He had long hair, and an earring, and was very…exotic looking. His mother was half Native American." She shook her head. "I imagined I was older, and he and I were a couple, and we went on all kinds of adventures together. Time traveling, mostly." She looked at him. "I had a little alarm clock…I'd wind it back, and pretend it was a time machine. Sometimes I'd carry it around with me, in case of a time-traveling…emergency."
"Of course." Stefan said.
"Sometimes, my mother would come into my room, and she'd see that my alarm clock was set to twelve midnight or something, when it was really four in the afternoon or so, and she'd set it back, and I'd get so mad….I didn't want to tell anyone about my time traveling adventures. Not my parents, especially. I can only see the puzzled look on my mother's face…and my father would dismiss it, and say that I was just excercising my imagination…but he'd think it was strange, too. I can always tell."
"Oh, Stephen does appreciate what an imaginative person you are, Elizabeth." Stefan said quietly. He squeezed her hand. "But tell me more about this guy. He was a lot older?"
"He was a couple of years older than me, yeah. He was a teenager, and I was around ten or eleven. He had a garage band, that he practiced with sometimes. I thought he was very…beautiful. He had black hair, and black eyes, and-
"Uh huh." Stefan said. "And did you…talk to him at all?"
"No…not really." Elizabeth said. "Mostly I'd…watch him. I didn't want him to see me as this…ten year old, with…"
"With…"
"I won't say it." Elizabeth said. "I know it'd….delight you too much."
"You can tell me, Lizzie." He squeezed her hand. "I only delight in helping you. You know that."
"Sure." Elizabeth said. She rolled her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. "With…with round cheeks, and-
"Ah." Stefan said. He smiled, stroking her cheek.
"See?" Elizabeth said. "It's not funny. I was teased about it in school. Some people called me 'Squirrel'."
"They liked you, I'm sure." Said Stefan. "That's why they said that."
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "They were very immature." She glared at him.
"Well, perhaps you should have talked to them, Elizabeth, instead of spending so much time with your imaginary boyfriends. They were just trying to jog you into reality, you know."
"Oh, 'they', were, huh?" Elizabeth said. "Apt of you to put yourself in their shoes, Stefan." She looked at him pointedly. "You would have been one of the ones to say it the loudest, I'm sure."
"Of course I would." Said Stefan. "That's how I am, isn't it?"
"It is." Elizabeth said.
"If only it weren't for the fact that…"
"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "You weren't exactly in elementary school in those days?"
"Indeed, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "Like clockwork." He shook his head.
"I wont say it, if you won't say anything about chipmunks."
"Would your imaginary boyfriend have said anything about chipmunks, Elizabeth?"
"Indeed he would not." Elizabeth said. "He was much too courteous and refined."
"Imaginary paramours always are, aren't they?"
Elizabeth glared at him. "His sense of humor was on a much higher plane, as I recall, than making childish jokes about people's appearance. Especially his…lover's." She looked pointedly at Stefan.
"Well, his sense of humor was your sense of humor, so I can see why you'd like it so much." Stefan said. "Far it be for me to be jealous of imaginary rivals, you know."
"Do you always have to be so…literal?" Elizabeth said.
"It's true." Said Stefan. "If you're going to try and make me jealous, you're going to have to do better than that."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't want to make you jealous. I just don't like being called a chipmunk or a squirrel."
"But they're cute. Chipmunks." Said Stefan.
"Sure." Elizabeth said. "Almost as cute as old guys with throat cancer."
"Not old, Elizabeth." Stefan said.
"Middle-aged guys with throat cancer." Elizabeth said.
"Keep talking, Elizabeth," Stefan said. "And you may wish you could time travel back before you said that."
Elizabeth swallowed, feeling hurt at the jab, though she knew in the back of her mind that Stefan hadn't really meant to be mean-spirited, but her mouth began light years ahead of her brain, as it usually did when it came to situations like these. She remembered something that Toby had said to her in the bakery, a few years earlier, and found her lips forming the words.
"You ever…hear someone say something…and then it just comes all too true?" She looked at him, shaking her head, and then put her hand on his shoulder. "I had a friend who…said something like that once. And I never thought it would….come true. I laughed in their face when they said it."
"Did you?" Stefan said.
"Yes. But it did. And then I'm wondering…." She bit her lip, placing her hand against his chest. "I'm wondering if maybe they might be a time traveler to have such expertly accurate knowledge of the future. What do you think?"
"What are you babbling on about now, Elizabeth?" Stefan said irritably.
"Nothing, nothing at all." She looked at him. "But there's this Stephen King character…."
"Oh, dear." Said Stefan, shaking his head. "Not Stephen King again, Lizzie, please."
"Who you're a lot like now. And his name begins with a 'G'."
"Mr. Gray?" Stefan said.
"Nooo…"
"Oh?" Stefan said. "Who, then?"
Elizabeth began to feel uncertain, and swallowed hard. "Um…"
"Lizzie." Stefan said. "You're trembling."
She was, and she began to feel a few pangs of regret. Stefan traced her hand slowly. Elizabeth coughed nervously, and began to laugh. Stefan smiled at her, seemingly sweetly but she recognized an avid look of curiosity behind it. He stroked her hair. She continued laughing, feeling her face getting very red.
"You seem very amused by something, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"I…I am." Said Elizabeth.
"Well, tell me." Stefan said.
"I…can't." Elizabeth said, shaking her head, smiling nervously.
"I want to be in on the joke too, Lizzie." Said Stefan.
"Do you?" Elizabeth said wryly.
"Yes." Stefan said. "What character?"
"Er….um…Pennywise, of course." Elizabeth.
Stefan shuddered. "Pennywise. I can't imagine how you could ever read that book and have the lights off, ever again, Elizabeth."
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.
"And then you tried to subject me to the movie." Said Stefan. "When the cover alone was likely to drive me to complete insanity."
"I was trying to help you conquer your fear, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. Stefan had a deathly fear of clowns.
"I'm not so sure." Stefan said.
"I was." Said Elizabeth. "Trying to help you." She bit her lip.
"I don't need help like that, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Next time you think of a way to try to help me, please don't."
"Fine." Said Elizabeth.
"How exactly am I like Pennywise, may I ask, Elizabeth?" said Stefan.
"Well, in the book, Pennywise would…make people completely…saturated with fear by the things he would do. And he would do this, because fear was like a…sauce that would make them…taste all the more delicious to him. To it."
"And you think that I'm like this?" Stefan said.
"Well…as a lawyer, you know. To opposing counsel. In a sense." Elizabeth looked at him.
"And to you." Stefan said.
"Well…yes." Said Elizabeth. "You love to intimidate me. Or…try."
"And you think that you taste like…fear right now, Elizabeth?" Stefan said.
Elizabeth began to laugh. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. What do I have to be afraid of?"
"Only yourself, Lizzie." Said Stefan. "But tell me, what friend of yours said this?"
Elizabeth bit her lip, the thought being unthinkable to her how utterly impolitic it was of her to quote Toby, her ex-lover, of whom Stefan was very jealous, in this context, not to mention how unthinkably ugly and messy it would be if he found out exactly what she had meant, and who said it.
"Oh…it was me. You know how sometimes people say 'a friend' and they mean themselves." She smiled worriedly, and looked at him.
"Was it, though, Lizzie?" Stefan said.
"Of course." Said Elizabeth. There was an uncertain silence.
"Stefan, you know I…I told you about the time travel thing because I…wanted you to understand something about me, and I…I thought you were making fun of me."
"I see." Stefan said quietly.
"And…I don't like the idea of people thinking that I'm…well…"
"Nuts?" Stefan said, raising an eyebrow.
Elizabeth shook her head, her mouth drawn tight.
Stefan put a hand on her shoulder. "Elizabeth." He said. "I never, even for a second thought that you were crazy. I in fact thought that the time traveling world you made up was very creative."
"I know." Said Elizabeth. "But for a second I thought…you think that I'm crazy."
"Never, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"Well, I'm sorry, then." Said Elizabeth.
"For what?"
"For saying that you're like Pennywise."
"Was that really what you were saying,Elizabeth?"
"Of course." Said Elizabeth. "What else would I have been saying?" Her face grew warm, and she looked at the floor sadly.
"You know, when your face gets red like that, it reminds me of strawberries, Lizzie." He cupped her face in his hands. "Two lovely, round strawberries."
"Oh, more jokes about my round cheeks, huh?" Elizabeth said angrily. "How classy."
"Not really." Stefan said. "Besides, I said they were lovely round cheeks."
"When my cheeks get red, they look like strawberries, do they?" said Elizabeth.
"Indeed they do." Said Stefan.
"Interesting metaphor." Elizabeth said. "Strawberries."
"Why?" Stefan said.
Elizabeth shook her head, and looked off to the side, laughing.
"Elizabeth-
"You know in Stand By Me-
"Oh no." said Stefan. "Old Stevie again."
"There was this character…what was his name again? That makes me think of you."
"I tried to block out anything Stephen King related, you've subjected me to, Liz."
"I forget, but he was-
"He was what, Elizabeth?"
"He was um…he was a lawyer, of course. He became a lawyer. And that's…why he makes me think of you. Stephen King is always writing about…lawyers. Isn't he, Stefan?"
"I suppose so, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He patted her hand.
"Indeed. A running theme."
"Very interesting." Said Stefan. "But what does any of it have to do with time travel?"
"What?" Elizabeth said.
"You said 'a friend' of yours, who you were claiming was yourself, said something so accurate about me that you'd swear that they were a time traveler. And then you claimed that it was that I was like Pennywise."
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.
"But what does that have to do with time travel?" said Stefan. "How did we get from time travel to my supposedly being like Pennywise?"
"Oh, would you quit interrogating me?" Elizabeth said crossly. "Who do you think you are, Perry Mason?"
"Perry Mason, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "Why would you say Perry Mason?"
"Because…you're a lawyer?"
"Of course. Just like Stephen King is always writing about, then?"
"Just like." Elizabeth said.
"I see." Said Stefan. "But I still don't see what any of it has to do with time travel."
"Stefan, if you think I was saying something insulting about you, whatever you think it may be, why are you trying to play these cat-and-mouse games with me? I swear, you must have a masochistic streak a mile wide."
"I do, actually." Said Stefan. "It has to do with the way I was in the past, you know."
"What, because you teased some slut back in high school, about being poor, because you liked her more than the other slut you were banging?"
"Most ugly words, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "But I'm a…very…self-destructive person-
"No, you're not." Said Elizabeth.
"Well, I was, when I was younger. And I need a woman such as yourself to help me…compartmentalize it. To express my self-loathing in a…healthy outlet, you see."
"Well, that's not what I'm talking about, Stefan." Said Elizabeth.
"No, you're right. It isn't. But I must know. I must try to make sense of your statements. Masochistic or no."
"Why?"
"Because it bothers me."
"Well, I refuse to be intimidated like this."
"You know how I dislike liars, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"I'm not a liar." Said Elizabeth.
"Oh, I think you are." Said Stefan. "Either that, or you're schizophrenic."
"What?"
"Not because you had an imaginary friend that you went on time traveling adventures with as a child, but because your statement makes no sense if you're really telling the truth."
"You used the word schizophrenic deliberately, Steff." Elizabeth said.
"I told you never to call me that." Stefan said. "Maybe I did. Maybe I thought it'd get your attention. Not because I believe you to be schizophrenic, but because I think you're just the opposite."
"Liar!" Elizabeth said angrily. "You're the liar, Stefan."
"No, I'm not, Elizabeth. I never once believed you to be schizophrenic, but you clearly have the worry that others will, because of your adventures with…what was his name? Your imaginary friend?"
"You're the worst liar I've ever seen." Elizabeth muttered.
"But because of your adventures with your imaginary friend, you clearly have a chip on your shoulder, thinking that others, especially me, will think that you're mentally…off, when I thought no such thing. I did, however, choose to exploit this fear of yours, by using the word, in order to get your attention. But I certainly never thought that you were schizophrenic, just because you had an imaginary boyfriend when you were a child."
"Frank." Elizabeth said. "His name was Frank."
"Well." Said Stefan. "I never thought you were schizophrenic for going on time-traveling adventures with Frank."
"I don't believe you." Elizabeth said.
"You should believe me, Liz. I've never once lied to you."
"I imagined that Frank showed me how to bend space and time…to slow it down, if I wanted. I imagined that he gave me the clock, as my vessel. That's what I'd call it."
"Well, it sounds fun, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"His eye was gone. Not the real Frank, of course." Said Elizabeth. "The imaginary one. He told me that it was my task to go back in time, and save different people. He told me that if I saved enough people, that I could help save him. He never would tell me how he lost his eye."
"I see."
"He told me all about time travel, how people have this energy that radiates through their chests, and how you must travel through God's channel, in order to make things right. He said that I must never, never let anything sever the timeline, or I could possibly rip the fabric of space and time. That was why I got so upset at my mother for setting the clock back to the real time. She had severed the timeline, and my mission was incomplete."
"Of course." said Stefan.
"But I was never, never unaware of the fact that it was anything but a game." Said Elizabeth. "But it was a game I took very seriously, is all."
"I know, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"I was not schizophrenic." Said Elizabeth. "And…no matter what you may say, I think…you think I'm crazy."
"Only for thinking that." Said Stefan. "That I think you're crazy."
Elizabeth shook her head. "No." she said.
"No, what?" Stefan said. "It happens to be true. But what is it exactly that…you predicted about me that-
"I don't want to tell you." Said Elizabeth.
"Best just to be honest." Said Stefan.
"I think you must have some idea." Said Elizabeth.
"Tell me."
"That you'd be….a little…chubbier." Elizabeth muttered, looking off into the distance.
"I see." Said Stefan.
"Like…like Harold in The Stand. I always thought Harold was sexy. I always got turned on by the scene in the book, in which Harold and Nadine-
"And Gerald. With a 'G'. See, I know these things. If you wanted to insult me slyly, you shouldn't be talking about these characters constantly, as you do. You said it began with a 'G'. You should have come up with something better than 'Pennywise', which does not in fact, begin with a 'G'. So. You lied. You must have either been trying to exploit my fear of clowns, or you must think I'm incredibly stupid, to not catch that. Perhaps you're a liar, and diabolically cruel as well."
"Oh, I was not trying to exploit your fear of clowns. I would never do that." Elizabeth said.
"I've tried so hard to teach you not to be a liar, Elizabeth."
"Teach me?" Elizabeth said. "Please. You really have a grandiose sense of yourself, Stefan."
"Not so grandiose." Said Stefan. "I've tried to influence you to be a completely truthful person, Elizabeth. But it didn't take. You're mean-spirited, and a cowardly liar."
"Okay. So I backtracked on what I said, and lied to spare your feelings, Stefan. Maybe you should try a little tact yourself some time."
"I have tact." Stefan said. "I just don't express it as a lie, the way most people do."
"I know that makes sense to your mind." Elizabeth said. "But not to anyone normal."
"There's no one normal in this room, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"Oh, really? Why don't you just say it? You don't think I'm normal, because I had imaginary friends, and pretended to time travel. Or maybe it was because I was so obsessed with Toby for so many years."
"Perhaps that more than anything else, Elizabeth. Not to mention being obsessed with this…Frank, at the age of ten, before Toby came along. Not to mention your obsession with Stephen King. I don't think it's healthy, to be perfectly…frank." He raised an eyebrow at her. "I say this to help you, Lizzie."
"You know when I said you were…so handsome, I could cry, a few years ago, when we were first dating?" said Elizabeth, swallowing hard.
"I do." Said Stefan.
"Well…well, if I had my little vessel, my alarm clock, I'd go back, and…live there. In that time period."
"Would you?" Stefan said.
"Yeah." Said Elizabeth. "Because now you're…not. Not so handsome I could cry anymore."
"I'm not?" said Stefan, and Elizabeth only needed to read the expression on his face to know the impact of her words. His mouth formed a painful downward rictus, and his eyes searched her face, urgently.
But Elizabeth swallowed, looking away from him. "Not anymore." She repeated. "Not anymore. And it must be torturous. You were always so good-looking. So many women…telling you you were. And you knew it. That's why it was so awful when Andie liked your friend better. You just couldn't stand it, could you."
"Elizabeth."
"Poor little rich boy Steff." Elizabeth spat out, her cute, upturned features twisted in a vicious snarl. "Nobody wants you. Your mother didn't want you. Andie didn't want you. And now, I want you less than Andie wanted you back then. It must be awful. Torturous. What would Andie say if she could see you now? What would she say, huh? Now that you're a…fat tub of guts? Still going to run after Andie? Who hated you, Steff. She hated you." Elizabeth's eyes glowed bright with angry, ferocious tears. "And it hurts, doesn't it?"
Stefan grabbed her suddenly, and held her against him fiercely. Elizabeth struggled, but he wouldn't let her go.
"No, get off of me!" She protested, her throat no longer containing the sobs that she'd been holding back.
"Shhhh." Stefan said.
"It hurts." Elizabeth repeated, still crying. "Everybody thinks…thinks I'm crazy. And it hurts so much, Stefan." She sobbed loudly against his shoulder. "You think I'm crazy, too. I don't care what Toby thought, or my parents or anyone else. Or Frank, if he ever knew I existed back then. But you…"
Stefan pressed his face against hers for a moment, then looked up at her. There were tears in his eyes as well, but they didn't fall.
"I'm sorry you thought that,Lizzie." He said quietly. "But I've never once…I've never thought you were crazy. The problem is that you…think as much of yourself. And…what you think of yourself can…have a significant impact on your outlook on things, not to mention…not to mention your treatment of others."
Elizabeth sniffled. "I guess."
"I know." Stefan said firmly.
"Okay. I know you know." Said Elizabeth. "Maybe I am crazy. I went nuts and lashed out, and said things I didn't even remotely mean."
"Oh, so you think you can get away with it by pulling the 'crazy' card, do you?" Stefan said. "Sorry, Liz, but I'm not buying it."
"I'm not trying to-
"You're just extremely vicious. I would have to be completely drunk out of my mind to say the things you said." Said Stefan. "And I can be extremely spiteful, I admit."
"I'm not vicious. That's characterizing. I was just being vicious at that particular moment."
"Call it what you want. Such behavior is most unbecoming, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "But…I'm sorry that you were hurt. I don't like…seeing you cry like that, Lizzie. It…upsets me greatly."
"It does?" Elizabeth said.
"Of course it does. You should know that." Stefan said. "And I…care about what you think, too…so…I understand….I've never thought you were crazy, and…if anybody ever said so, that person would greatly regret it, if I ever encountered them. I don't have a single disparaging word to say about you, Lizzie. Not unless it was to help you. Do you understand?"
"I understand." Said Elizabeth.
"I've been attracted to you from the moment that I first laid eyes on you." Said Stefan. "And that was a different thing."
"Different?" said Elizabeth. "Different from what?"
"Different…from the love that I came to have for you, of course." Said Stefan. "I just want to help you…because I love you so much. I thought you'd have understood that by now."
"I do understand." Said Elizabeth. "But you're so….superior…you…act so superior, sometimes, and so…imperious, and so knowing…and then you have that way you have of looking at me. That look you give. It's a knowing….leer, almost. And your eyes lock on me in a penetrating gaze… You don't know what it does to me. Inside."
"What does it do to you, Lizzie?" said Stefan.
"Makes me angry, Stefan." Said Elizabeth.
"Really." Said Stefan. "I'm not so sure."
"I am." Said Elizabeth. "A churning anger, in fact."
"Maybe that's some other type of emotion churning inside of you, Lizzie." said Stefan. "Interesting phraseology, you used. Churning. And penetrating."
"Oh, please." Said Elizabeth scornfully. "Everything always comes back to that with you, doesn't it? Everything is some…erotic metaphor."
"Everything is erotic, Lizzie."
"Not everything." Said Elizabeth. "Believe me, there's nothing sexy about the annoyance I feel, whenever trying to reason with you."
"Whenever you try to reason with me?" said Stefan. "Now that's really rich."
"Oh, so I'm unreasonable?" Elizabeth said. "Crazy?"
"Not crazy." Said Stefan. "Certainly….volatile. Hostile, without a doubt."
"You haven't examined what you're like." Said Elizabeth. "And we have yet to touch upon how bossy you are. And how dictatorial you can be."
"I'd rather not touch on that, if you don't mind." Said Stefan. "And what if I was bossy? Didn't you enter into this marriage, knowing that I can be that way?"
"I did." Said Elizabeth. "That doesn't mean I have to like it. Does it?"
"Perhaps not. But you still have to like me." Said Stefan.
Elizabeth swallowed. "I do like you." She said. "Very much."
"I'd hate to be someone who you didn't, then Lizzie." Said Stefan. "With some of the things you've said to me tonight."
"I didn't…mean them." Said Elizabeth. "Not a word."
"What's all this about Andie, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "I don't care about what Andie thinks. I haven't seen her since we graduated. Why would I care if she found me attractive or not?"
Elizabeth swallowed. "I…just worry…that she's…the one that got away."
"Don't be absurd." Stefan said scornfully. "I don't even give her a thought. Not until you bring her up. And then my feelings for her are the same as they've been for years. Indifference."
"I hope so." Elizabeth said.
"You don't need to hope, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "You can just take my word for it."
"Well, anyway, I…I said horrible things." Elizabeth said.
"I don't care…" said Stefan quietly. "If Andie were no longer to think I was attractive."
"Stefan-
"Just you, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "And you should know that. I don't give a shit what Andie thinks. Was that…was that some kind of metaphor for yourself, Elizabeth?" He looked at her, hurt etched onto his face.
"I…no….maybe…"
"That you're not attracted to me anymore?" Stefan said.
"I…it was a lie." Said Elizabeth. She felt a lump in her throat, and tears start to form.
"You said I'm no longer so handsome you could cry." Said Stefan. "I'm no longer attractive to you anymore, you meant. Didn't you?"
"That was definitely a lie." Elizabeth said. "That was the biggest lie of all. And the worst."
"Was it?" said Stefan. "It didn't seem that way to me."
"It was." Elizabeth said.
"I usually hope you don't lie, Elizabeth." Stefan said, quietly. "But now I find myself hoping that you were. If anything that you ever said was a lie, I…I hope it was that."
Elizabeth felt terrible, and was at a loss for words.
"I was so touched, when you said that to me all those years ago. Of course, I know what gifts I have, and what gifts I don't have, and one of them is being good-looking. I'm not egotistical about it, but I like to make sure it's acknowleged." Said Stefan. "Especially by the…resistant sort. Which you were."
Elizabeth smiled. "I was."
"You asked me if I remember it. Of course I remember it. It was so…very sweet. To hear…to hear it come out of the mouth of someone that I….so adore. And who I thought didn't…adore me. At least not as much as…." He shook his head. "And then I….I realized that you did, in that moment. That you've always thought of me as a very attractive man. Of course I am, but you're so…odd, that you might not like that. And you're right. I've had a lot of lovers, and a lot of women show interest in me over the years. But I don't care about what they thought. It meant so much that you thought of me that way."
"Stefan, I was just…being spiteful. I thought that you-
"And now you don't. Just because I'm a little heavier?"
"No…I told you…I was never-
"I remember, saying to you, that time, that you could never take it back. I thought that you couldn't. But I was wrong."
"Stefan-
"You've rescinded it." Said Stefan.
"I have not." Elizabeth said.
"You have." Said Stefan. "I can't believe you would ever say such a thing to me, Lizzie."
"I said I was sorry." Elizabeth said. "What more do you want?"
"Are you really no longer attracted to me, Elizabeth?" said Stefan.
"No!" said Elizabeth. "I mean, yes. Of course I am."
"You said I was chubby." Said Stefan.
"Well, Stephen King is always writing about fat guys, and I….I got kind of turned on…by some of it."
"You're saying that I am, in fact, chubby?" Stefan said.
"Well…aren't you?" said Elizabeth. "Haven't you…gotten kind of…overweight, these past couple of years?"
"Well…I thought you….hadn't noticed, Elizabeth. You've never said anything before."
"Goodness, did you think I didn't have any vision?" said Elizabeth. "Or….sense of touch?"
"Elizabeth!" Stefan said, shocked. "I'm hurt by that statement. I guess it goes with my no longer being so handsome you could cry, though, doesn't it?"
"Yes, you are…and…I still find you as attractive as ever. I do."
"Do you?" said Stefan. "You just implied that you'd have to be visually impaired not to notice how fat I am."
Elizabeth struggled not to laugh, but failed. "I-
"Oh, so it's funny to you, is it?" said Stefan.
"A little funny. Can't you have a sense of humor about yourself, Stefan?" said Elizabeth.
"I'm very…insecure about my…physical self, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "So no. Not really."
"Oh, come on." Elizabeth said. "As Ms. Walsh and myself know very well, hell hath no fury like Stefan scorned, but can't you just…forgive and forget?"
"Forget that you said that I'm no longer attractive to you?" said Stefan. "I wish I could forget that kind of scorn, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "Once again, I don't know exactly what Andie has to do with anything, but whatever rejection I experienced from someone as an eighteen year old greatly pales in comparison to someone you've loved and been married to for several years telling you they no longer find you attractive. Fury? I was crushed, Lizzie."
"I know." Elizabeth said sadly. She touched his hand. "I didn't mean it. I am still attracted to you."
"I don't know if I believe you, Lizzie." Said Stefan.
"Well, it's true…I am still attracted…even though you're a little chubby now…." Elizabeth said. Stefan glared at her. "Well, you wanted me to be honest." Elizabeth said. "Because you're still very sexy."
"I see. Still so handsome you could cry, though?"
"Of course. You are, Stefan. I was…very angry when I said that."
"It was a terrible thing to say, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "To someone who loves you so."
"And I love you." Elizabeth said, quickly. She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered in his ear.
"I hope so. And for saying I'm like a vile, supernatural clown?"
"Only because you like to stir up fear in people. Specifically me."
"They say the human brain confuses fear with passion, you know." Stefan said. "You should be ripe with desire by now."
Elizabeth shook her head, rolling her eyes.
"You know, while you had the nickname 'Squirrel', I also had a nickname. In law school. You know what it was?"
"I'm sure you're going to tell me."said Elizabeth.
"They called me 'The grey wolf'." Said Stefan. "Because of my last name, you know. And of course, because I was such a shrewd, intimidating lawyer. Struck fear into the hearts of everyone there. The kind of fear you'd have if you were alone with a wolf in the forest."
"I think you'd be more like a blond wolf than a grey one. "said Elizabeth. "But I can see how that would work."
"No, definitely a 'Grey' wolf, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "A very fearful thing indeed."
"But I thought you told me that everyone around you, when you got a little more mature, and stopped trying to anger your stepfather, always said what a nice, personable guy you are, Stefan. Including in law school." She looked at him. "I don't think you're a grey wolf. I think you're really a nice guy, with a good heart."
"I am a nice guy, and it's true that they did say that." Said Stefan. "In law school, I had a roommate one year. He was from India. He said that in his country, the wolf is not regarded as evil, and that I had what he called 'the analog of the wolf'. He said that those with the analog of the wolf are not necessarily evil, unless there is something else in their nature that makes them that way. So. To be a grey wolf is certainly not a bad thing. If you use it for good, that is."
"And you do." Said Elizabeth. "Use it for good."
"Of course." Said Stefan.
"I see."
"But that's why you're so afraid of me at times, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "Because I have the nature of the wolf, you see. The analog of the wolf. It's only natural to feel fear around me….but not the kind you would around…Pennywise." He shook his head in disgust.
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "And…you do know that Pennywise isn't real, right?"
"Very nice of you to mock my phobia, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "I have a serious condition, and you make jokes about it. Maybe you're like Pennywise."
"I'm not." Said Elizabeth. "It was just a joke. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about your fear." She shook her head. "Analog of the wolf." She said. "That's the silliest thing I ever heard."
"Not at all, Lizzie. I'm a grey wolf by nature. And you know what wolves like to hunt a great deal of the time?" Stefan asked.
"No, what?" Elizabeth said.
"Chipmunks."
"Oh, of course." Elizabeth said. "Well, listen, Mr. Grey Wolf, I think…you may have been hunting…a few too many chipmunks over the years." She patted him on the back.
"You're the only chipmunk I want to hunt, Lizzie." Said Stefan.
"I know." Said Elizabeth. "I meant-
"I know what you meant." Said Stefan. "And I chose to ignore it. As one would the inane chatter of a silly chipmunk."
"Better watch it." Elizabeth said.
"As long as the chipmunk still finds me as…sleek as I was when I first…started hunting her." Stefan said, his eyes searching hers.
"Of course." Said Elizabeth, swallowing. She hugged him, and looked up at him, smiling softly. "Just as sleek."
