Dear Cammie Millie,

Turns out you ain't gonna be getting the letter I wrote yesterday, or this one, for awhile. We've been stuck down here for a week now, and accordin' to the Major, we ain't gettin' out anytime soon. So I'll just save a small collection for ya to deliver when I get to Paris. I get the feeling that whatever you've been sendin' to me is probably also at Paris waiting for me. Overdue mail's a common thing here. I mean, Cagney didn't get his letter from Hilda talkin' bout his baby 'till around a month after she wrote it.

Things haven't much changed since yesterday. Mugman's been freakin' out a bit since the shells over us keep exploding, and you know how he is around loud noises. I bet his fear of fireworks ain't helpin' the matter. I'm doing my best to keep him calm, but I don't think it's helping much.

Gosh, I feel pretty bad. I thought enlistin' myself soon as the draft started would keep Mugman from havin' to come out here, but I guess that didn't change a thing. You're probably really angry with me 'bout that. I remember how much you cried the night I told you I signed up for the military. But to make things worse, I'm kinda glad Mugman's here with me.

Imagine that, Cammie. My baby brother's going through hell and I'm happy with it. But I can't help it. Havin' Mugman around with me is makin' me so happy. And as much as I wish he were back home with Elder Kettle, and you, I'm just so goddamn grateful I've got Muggy to keep me company through all this. It's selfish of me.

The day we run outta paper to write letters down here is the day I'm gonna lose my sanity. Just tellin' you how I feel 'bout all this makes me feel a lot better. A small part of me wishes you where by my side, so I could see your face, but the bigger part is just happy as hell you're not out here too.

Gosh, I just had a terrible thought, Cammie. They drafted old man Mac out here. He ain't as old as Elder Kettle, but gosh, he's sixty years old, Cammie! They're desperate enough to draft old men now. How long's it gonna be until they start gettin' more desperate and start drafting women? I wouldn't put it past old Lucifer to draft girls if the requirement numbers keep going up.

I better not tell Cagney 'bout this, or let him see the letter. I mean, he's already stressed enough as it is. He had a dream last night that he wasn't able to come home in time, and when he did, his kid had already grown up into a degenerate 'cause he never had a father figure in his life. I told him that even if he didn't come home for that long, Hilda still had a good enough head on her shoulders to raise their kid right, but still. The thought of missin' your kid's entire childhood cause your stuck in these goddamn trenches is a scary thought. I'd only add to his worries if I told him it's possible that they might start drafting women.

Enough of that, though. I guess being stuck down here in the dark with the constant sound of explosions can do things to ya. I shouldn't really be burdening you with all this. Maybe I can just not mail this letter. I mean, you'd understand if I didn't write every single day right?

You would. But that stupid little voice in the back of my head keeps saying your gonna get mad at me. I guess I'll send this anyways.

But, ah, how about some happy things? Ol' Captain Brineybeard got transferred to our squad a few days ago, and he brought enough rum along with 'em to last him a year! I know drinkin' ain't the best idea, but for a lightweight, and sleepy drunk like me, all I need is one or two shots, and I can fall asleep easy, explosions or no explosions. And the good thing is, Brineybeard ain't oversharing his drinks, so we won't be runnin' out any time soon. He only shares with the other guys from Inkwell. He and Cagney share a glass before sleep, I take a shot or two, Mugs, Wally, and Mac don't really drink, and Ribby and Croaks are the only ol' friends of Brineybeard's who ain't allowed to take a sip, since we all know that they'd steal all the booze. Probably in a single night too.

Gosh, remember that one time we got really drunk at Rollup's bar? I think we passed out, if I remember correctly. Poor ol' Mugman had to haul our drunk ass's home. Damn, your old man nearly killed me. Honestly, I've seen bullets rip through the air and men drop like flies, and I still think the scariest thing I've ever seen was your father when he's angry.

Mugman wasn't too happy with me either. He had a date that night, but cause he was getting me out of trouble, he missed it, and the girl though he stood 'er up. I guess a lot of the reasons Mug's ain't got a girlfriend is 'cause of all the stupid thing's I've done. Not to mention that one incident with that fish girl, uh, Angel, I think her name was.

I'm runnin' out of room on the paper, and I'm trying not to use too much, since we don't wanna run out, so I'll say goodbye here. I'll be home soon, Cammie! I can't wait to see your pretty face again.

With love,

Cuphead