Being married to Finland, Sweden was used to waking up to strange things. But generally it was the acceptable kind of strange, the kind of strange that left him asking questions like "What on earth did he put in m' coffee last night?" and "How did m' wife and I end up lying facedown in a pile of wrapping paper wearing nothing but a few strips of scotch tape?"

This time, however, Sweden did not wake up to the acceptable kind of strange. First red flag: He didn't wake up with Finland next to him (or on top of him, or under him, or anywhere within the immediate vicinity).

Second red flag: When he staggered into the kitchen, the little TV by the microwave was playing a news report about how the world had just been almost conquered by aliens who seemed to be the lovechildren of the borg from Star Trek: The Next Generation and the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Third red flag: As Sweden groggily sipped his coffee and watched the report, an unsettling public announcement came on.

-Officials have just confirmed that although the Pictonians agreed to return all humans and countries back to their original form, there have been several cases reported where the patient, despite everyone's best efforts, has not been able to be transformed back.-

Sweden nearly choked on his coffee.

No, please don't tell me-

-If a loved one of yours is missing without explanation, it is likely that they are one of these patients. The patients are presently being held at the following address—

Sweden snapped a picture of the on-screen address with his phone before bolting out the door. On the driveway stood a driverless sleigh attached to four unattended reindeer.

Nh, that settles it. M' wife would never leave them outside alone like this. The pict'nh-bleghs 've got him f'r sure.

Sweden climbed up onto the sleigh and grabbed the reins " 'lright, yer master is in trouble. Let's go get him."

One of the reindeer swiveled their head around and smiled at Sweden while staring at him with glowing red eyes.

"Welcome to the Robot-Reindeer-Powered-Sleigh-Express," the reindeer greeted him with Finland's voice.

"HUAH?!"

"To activate the sleigh, please sing the following Christmas song…

…please hold on, the Christmas song is still being chosen."

It was then that Sweden was able to understand that somewhere along the line Finland had replaced his reindeer with robots.

That'd explain the massive decrease in the monthly vet bill. But why did he have to make it talk in his own voice?

"To activate the sleigh, pretty please sing the following Christmas song…"

This is all one of Finland's weirder ideas, but I guess it's kind of cute…

"…Santa Baby."

Not cute anymore.

Sweden blinked. "Are ya serious?"

"Yah!"

"Nobody likes th' song 'Santa Baby'. N't ev'n me, and I'm married t' Santa."

"The sleigh can not be activated until ya sing the song 'Santa Baby'. To activate the sleigh, pretty please sing-"

"Nh, 'lright fine," How did that terrible tune start even? He pulled out his phone to do a quick internet search. Then he realized, ha, if he had internet then he didn't even have to sing the darn song, he could just look up a YouTube video with the song and play it for the ridiculous robot reindeer.

"Every story needs an audience, and if you have a business, you have a-"

Stupid advertisement.

Finally the phone speakers started blaring out the wretched song.

"Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl-"

"Yay!" the robot reindeer all chimed in unison as they took off dashing into the sky.

"Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight…"

Sweden was definitely reprogramming this thing once he got Finland back home safely.