oOo

Chapter 2 – What I did

"I'll never tell you."

"I believe you."

Several thoughts plagued Thor's mind as he heard those words leave their mouth. The echo of thunder raged in his ears as time slowed to a near stop, and his heart sped. He took his anger out on Malekith and ran as fast as he could, but before he could get to him, Kurse had picked up the Dark Elf's body and scampered away. Thor attacked, yet his aim was off as he felt his hand shake in both anger and grief. By the time Thor reached the balcony, the ship had already flown and disappeared.

His eyes dimmed and his heart despaired.

Thor turned his mournful gaze upon his Mother's body. He could not bring himself to move from where stood. He felt detached. He watched as Odin approached her, his eyes filled with tears. They had been together for thousands of years, and it took one swift blow to change that.

Thor had no idea what to do.

He had never imagined his Mother's death, nor had he thought of it. For the first time in months, Thor felt helpless once more. As helpless as he once was when he lost his right to wield Mjolnir. And oh, how it pained him to see her reaching for her last breath. What was he to do?

What was he to tell Loki?

"Mother, Loki is not the boy you once knew."

"Nor were you," She challenged. "And I loved you no less when you Father banished you to Earth."

"Do you ever regret sharing your magic with him?"

"No."

Thor hated himself when he had asked those questions. His last moments with her were about Jane, and Loki. Two of which he loved dearly in his heart. Go, I will look after her. He had brought his Mother to her death. If she had not been with Jane, she would have not have died at all.

"You and your Father cast large shadows." She softly said. "I'd hope that by sharing my gifts with Loki that he could find some sun for himself."

Frigga only ever wanted what was best for him and his brother.

She wanted to see her family to the way it used to, but here they were scattered. Now more so than ever now that she is fading. Her eyes closed, probably dimmed, her grip loosened and her breath dissolving. There was nothing Thor could do. He had to be brave, to see her one last time. Odin cradled her body, whispering sweet nothings to her as she smiled one last time.

"I admire your optimism and compassion." Thor had said. "I wish I could still share it."

He would, if he knew how.

"It is alright to be nervous."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Thor grunted. "I am not nervous."

"You may be able to fool the rest of Asgard—"

"But never you, I know."

"Thor, just remember that you have something even the great All-Father never had."

"And what is that?"

"Me for a mother," Frigga chuckled.

How had their defenses gone down? How had, the Dark Elves found a way inside their stronghold and destroy their shield?

Only those who are the royal guards, generals and members of the family knew where such an important piece lay. Who could have spoken if not—when the daunting truth came upon Thor's raging thoughts, his eyes glistened with anger as he clenched his fist in realization. Loki! It was the only explanation he had, because they were angry at each other. His brother must have spoken to them. Whether he was forced on it or not, he had told them and he was just as much the cause of their Mother's death as Thor was.

"Mother! Mother!"

"In here."

"MOTHER!"

"Lower your voice, Thor." Frigga whispered. "Your brother is asleep."

"Oh."

"Aye, he is just tired but he will wake soon."

"What happened to him?"

"It has been an unbearable summer for your brother."

"Huh?"

"Loki does not do well with heat, Darling. You should remember that when you next take him out to the forest."

"I hurt him?"

"Oh no, Thor, it is not your fault. Loki is just a sensitive child. And I recall that your brother insisted as well. But remember, neither of you are at fault. It just happens."

"I am sorry, Loki."

Thor whispered to his sleeping brother and Frigga couldn't help but smile. She reached out to stroke Thor's hair as Thor whispered for Loki to get better. Loki stirred by her side and nuzzled by her thighs.

"What is it that you want to tell me?" Frigga opened.

"I was looking for Loki, but now I do not need to look. He is just here with you."

"Aye, he is." She said. "So are you."

Thor wasn't sure how he was able to face Loki. There was no other explanation he could think of. How would they have known where the shield was if not for Loki's betrayal? It angered Thor, but he could not release it. His heart bled for his mother. All those years he spent with her, never seemed enough.

She was gone.

And Thor felt empty.


oOo

He could not bring himself to cry.

His people sang softly as they held an orb imbued with Seidr in her memory. There Thor eyed his beautiful mother, laying there on the ship with petals all around her. She wore her chest plate, and a beautiful gown while above her lay her sword. The Queen was just as much of a warrior as anyone was. She looked peaceful, despite her painful death. Yet no one seemed to notice, for their hearts were claimed with despair.

They let her ship go down the aisle into the open water. They waited for her to drift far away as they set the others who died with her to follow. Thor turned to the King and Jane followed suite. Everyone awaited the King's command. Sif, Fandral, and Volstagg stood there mourning along.

In deep thought the All-Father moved Gungnir.

And with a single blazing arrow that flew true to its target, the funeral pyre was lit.

No sooner did all those who followed in her steed, were lit as well. When Frigga's ship got close to the edge of space, Odin hesitantly stomped Gungnir on the ground. The loud echo blossomed around, and Frigga's ship flew by the edge. Her body turned to stars. As soon as it happened, the burning ship fell and disappeared into the void. And Frigga's spirit vanished into the skies forever.

One by one, the Aesir lifted their orbs into the sky for her and all those who perished. Odin lowered his gaze, and closed his eye. He thought a prayer and a goodbye, knowing full well that it would take a long time for them to see one another again.

And Thor, he still could not cry.

His emotions felt hollow, and his heart twisted.

He saw Sif walk behind, waiting of him. He knew of what they needed to speak of, so Thor excused himself from Jane's side and walked towards his warrior friend. He could tell that there was sorrow in her eyes, but he also knew that she could feel something was wrong with him.

"Sif—"

"Will you go to him?"

"Nay," Thor whispered and shook his head. "I cannot see him."

"As much as I do not like him," Sif began. "He still has a right to know."

"Then will you have someone send the message?"

"You truly will not tell him yourself?"

"Nay, I cannot, Sif."

"I will look for someone." Sif bowed. "Just remember, Thor. Your friends are with you."

"Aye, thank you."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"Bring the messenger to me." Thor sighed. "I would tell him what to say."

Thor couldn't stay until it the funeral was finished. He could not even join in the feasting. He walked beside Jane, who looked up into the sky, watching the orbs disappear one by one until it was too far away to see. He cleared his throat and Jane looked at him apologetically.

"Do you wish to stay till the feast?" Thor asked. "Or do you wish to have it in your room?"

"If it's not too much trouble, I'll eat in my room."

"Aye, that is well."

"Are you okay, Thor? D-do you want to talk about it?"

"Nay, the grief is still too near." Thor said. "Come, I will escort you to your room."

"Okay."

They walked in silence.

When they reached Jane's room, Thor bid her a goodnight and left her there. Jane understood that it was painful for Thor to lose a loved one. And Jane couldn't help but feel guilty that she was responsible for it. She knew that if she hadn't gotten the Aether, Frigga would have still been alive.

So Jane accepted the solitude for now.

Thor however, took it in stride and bottled his emotions. Deep down, he felt sorrow, but not as deep as it should be. He knew that they would see each other again, yet it would be a long time before that could happen. Frigga had always been a constant support of him, even in his childish ways she never pushed him away. And neither had she done so with Loki. Her gaze towards them had always been equal.

"Where is he?"

He had been looking for Loki all over the palace grounds. Loki had left training so early that Thor never realized until it was time to head back. Thor barreled down the hall and heard whispers in his parent's chambers. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but curiosity got the better of him.

He peered into the room and saw Loki in tears.

"You must not think yourself weak." Frigga said. "You are stronger than you think."

"But I am weak."

"One defeat does not make you lesser than your worth."

"But Tyr said I am not meant to fight if I cannot be brave, nor if I cannot move properly." Loki protested. "I cannot even hold a sword correctly!"

"Loki—"

"He told me I should go back and play and stop trying! He tried to teach me, and it hurts." Loki's lips quivered. "I still have a bruise on my wrist because he gripped too tightly. He told me to hold onto the sword and—"

"Loki, you do not need to justify it." Frigga soothingly said. "I believe you."

"I do not want to train with Tyr anymore."

"Tyr is only harsh because he has to be, Loki. It is his way of teaching."

"Even Sif is better than I am."

"Oh darling, do not let your failure swallow you so." She soothed. "Now tell me, how did your brother fare?"

"He fared better than I."

"You know that is not what I meant to teach you. Your brother is not without fault either. Tell me how many times did Tyr scold him when he did not listen to his commands?"

"How did you know?" Loki blinked.

"I am your Mother."

"But Mother, I am not a warrior."

"Loki, you and your brother have your differences but you must realize you are stronger in ways known only to you. That does not make me love you any less." Frigga wiped his tears and kissed his forehead. "Now go and find your brother, ask him to teach you his tricks and I am sure he will love it."

Thor took this moment to pop out to assure Loki it was alright.

"Loki!" Thor called.

His brother wiped his tears away. "Aye?"

"You left too early."

"Oh," Loki looked down. "I was just—"

"It doesn't matter. Do you want to practice with me?"

"Practice?"

"I think that is a wonderful idea," Frigga giggled. "Go on."

"But—" Loki pouted.

"It will be fine," Frigga whispered to him. "You have your brother with you."

Thor walked past the hall, in deep thought. It won't be long before Sif found someone to deliver the message and before they could find where he caved in. As he traveled down the palace hall, he noticed Loki's room which was a floor down towards his. He stopped and eyed the large doors. A part of him wanted to go inside, but a part of him was afraid and angry of what he could do once he was in there. He had a feeling he would not be able to hold himself if he saw anything else that reminded him of his brother.

He and Loki had always been so close before.

"Thor! Do not run so fast!"

"But Mother, the fireflies will get away!"

"Be careful!"

"Mother they are getting away!" Thor jumped. "Hurry! Hurry! They are moving!"

"That boy is too energetic." Frigga giggled. "What about you, Loki?"

"Nu-uh."

"There are fireflies up those hills, dear."

"Uh-huh."

"Will you not join your brother, Loki?" Odin asked as Loki fidgeted in his arms. "The view is better up that hill."

"I do not want to."

Loki shook his head and pressed his face on Odin's shoulder. Odin pulled Loki away from him and watched as Loki's eyes tear up from the sudden movement. Odin put Loki down on the grass and Loki's face scrunched up. Frigga glared at Odin, who innocently walked up the hill. Loki's shoulder shook. He was ready to burst into tears but Frigga noticed and picked Loki up before he could cry.

"Honestly, Odin!"

"You cannot keep coddling that boy!" Odin yelled from afar. "Now come, the stars have shown!"

Thor barreled down the hill to where his Mother tried to calm her youngest. Thor saw Loki attach to her like a magnet. He tugged on her dress and she looked down.

"Aye?"

"What is wrong with Loki?"

"Oh, nothing, dear," Frigga smiled. "Your brother is just a little shy."

"I'll take him!"

"What?"

"I'll take him!" Thor insisted.

Frigga placed Loki down, but he was ready to cry again. Thor held Loki's hands, grinned and hugged his brother tightly. Thor wiped Loki's tears away and pulled Loki into a run. Too shocked, Loki followed and soon they were up the hill with Frigga following. Thor held Loki's hand as his brother hovered close by.

"Look!" Thor pointed. "Is it not pretty?"

The sky was clear and full of stars, and fireflies lit up the hill. Thor held Loki's hand and tried to warm them when he felt the cold skin of Loki's body. Loki didn't mind as he stared in awe. Thor grinned.

"Do you like it, Loki?"

"Uh-huh."

"Brother, smile! I want to see!" Thor poked and Loki giggled. "Do you like it?"

"I like it."

Now, they had completely drifted apart.

Thor had gone to his room to escape the people around him. They apologized, they tried to sympathize but none of it was working. He could not bring himself to cry. He had dinner in his room, and waited. Sif stayed true to her words. When the feast came to a near end, she found an Einherjar willing enough to deliver the message.

A knock came upon his door and Sif stood at the other side.

"Say what you need to say and let it be over with." She said, and turned to leave.

"You are the messenger?" Thor asked the man.

"Aye, My Lord."

Thor knew him. He was Bergvid, one of the Einherjar under the general's guard. The man knew Loki since he was a child and he was a century older than Thor.

"My Lord?"

"Did Lady Sif tell you what you must do?"

"Aye, she did."

"Tell him…" Thor breathed. "Tell him Mother passed away."

"Shall I tell it was from you, My Lord?"

"Nay, say no more than just the message and leave."

"Aye, I shall."

"Go."

The Einherjar swiftly bowed and went on his way.

Thor palmed his face. He knew not what he was doing. He would regret it soon, but not now. He could not face Loki. If he did, only the Norns know what he might do to him. Thor closed the door to his room and allowed himself to be locked in with his thoughts. Loki would hate him for what he did, but Thor could not bring himself to care. Not yet. He would let it play out, let Loki feel the sorrow. No doubt, he will.

"Why are you so cruel to him?" Thor asked himself. "He is your brother."

He had to remind himself, of what they once shared.

"Are you hurt?"

"What?"

"I asked if you are hurt, Thor."

"Nay, why must you think I am?"

"Because you barely gave your weight on your wrist when you held that sword earlier," Loki haughtily answered. "Now what ails you?"

"I cannot hide the truth from you, can I?"

"Nay, you cannot."

"It is sprained." Thor voiced. "It was that battle at the high pass."

"Why did you not let Eir see it?"

Thor embarrassingly looked away and said, "We made a wager."

"Ah, so you risk your health for that said wager." Loki frowned. "What did you gamble?"

"My sword in exchange for newly forged dagger," He grinned.

"May I see?"

"Here."

Thor pulled out the daggers and showed it to his brother. Loki traced his finger on the hilt and the blade. He noticed the design and the silver green color to it, knowing that Thor preferred bold and attractive designs and colors. He weighed it and noticed that it was off. Loki looked at Thor with an accusing look, making Thor tilt his head in confusion.

"Is something the matter?"

"These are not made for you," Loki voiced. "The weight is off."

"Aye, that is true."

"You would use a blade that is not to your satisfaction?"

"Oh it is for my satisfaction." Thor grinned. "It is the satisfaction of seeing you use it in battle one day."

"What?"

"I won that for you, brother."

"Me?"

"Aye! Do you not like it? I had them make it the way you like. You needed new daggers. The old ones were worn and in need of fixing. These will aid you whilst the others are to be returned and reforged. Let it be for memory and display while you use this one."

"I— thank you, Thor." Loki blushed. "I know not what to say."

"Your thanks are enough."

He and his brother had been so close

Thor palmed his face and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

His dreams danced with memories of his family being happy together. Loki was so young and innocent, cunning yet ferocious while his mother had always been gentle and caring, yet wild and terrifying. And Odin, he had been a good father then, and had been a great king now. Oh, how Thor allowed himself to be swept in his dreams, until they turned into nightmares that swept until morning.


oOo

"Please, just grant me this one request!"

The time came that Thor had to decide a way to save Jane, an option presented itself through the form of his brother, yet Thor wasn't willing to go through those means. He could not face Loki, not yet. He was sure that Loki hated him, that he hated everyone for not allowing him to see Frigga's farewell. But most of all, Thor knew he could not bring himself to see how far he had crossed the line with Loki.

So he resorted through other means of an escape.

Odin.

"I am not allowing you to go and that is final!"

"You allow our people to face death?"

"We make sacrifices to survive, Thor." Odin voiced. "Tell me we do not lose people every day. Only then will you convince me."

"Why allow their lives to fall on ours?"

"Do not test me, Thor!"

"I am not testing you, Father, but be considerate. You know I will not let Jane die, nor would I allow our people to be harmed. I will go, Father, with or without your leave. I will take Jane off world, lead Malekith and destroy him and the Aether."

"You would disobey your King?"

"If it means keeping our people alive, then aye, I will!"

"I cannot be persuaded Thor, what you are doing is dangerous not only for yourself but for humanity as well. This is one of the infinity gems, and I will not let it fall into the hands of a Dark Elf."

"I have a plan, Father!"

"What makes you think that this plan will work?" Odin countered as he slammed Gungnir on the ground. "I am not going to risk it. I have lost your Mother and your brother and I will not lose you as well! That mortal of yours has caused too much damage here already. We cannot save her now."

Thor was silenced.

"There is nothing more we can do to change the past."

"Father—"

"Hear me," Odin sighed. "You have grown, my boy. From that arrogant child to you who stands before me, you have gained my respect and I am proud of you. But do not question my actions out of my concern for your life, Thor. You are my heir, and the only one left for the throne. Your mother died protecting her realm, and protecting us. Do not let her efforts be in vain."

"What makes you think death is a certainty?"

"It is not."

"Then allow me this, Father." Thor said. "Open the Bifrost and allow me to head to Svartalfheim with a small army. A small portion is all I need and I will lead them into battle. We will plan it out. Do what we must before the convergence comes to full circle. Please Father, help us out."

"Have your friends consented?"

"I have not spoken to them yet but I know if I asked, they will provide."

"Then I am at a loss." Odin wearily leaned on his staff. "You make me age in a few minutes than I do in decades."

"Will you allow me this, Father?"

"You will go whether I will forbid you or not."

"Aye."

"You will take half the army and engage Malekith in his own territory and then what? You will destroy the Aether with your strength alone?"

"It is worth a try."

"And if that does not work?"

"Then I will find other means to succeed." Thor said. "Either way, whether you allow Jane to stay here, our people will fight, but the only change is that innocent people will not be harmed."

"And if he is not stopped and the convergence happens?"

"I will take the portion of army you give me to protect those in need of it."

"Fine, you have my leave."

"I thank you, Father," Thor whispered.

"Do not thank me yet," Odin lowered his gaze. "The battle has not won yet."

"I will not fail you."