Chapter 2/ Meeting no Heroes

"All right, I have to disappear for a little bit, but I'll still be with you." Caster said as she heard the police coming closer. She kept her arms around the crying boy. "Are you going to be okay?" The boy nodded, pulling out of her arms so he could wipe away his tears. "Can I ask your name?" Caster said.

"Hi-Hisao." the boy said, doing his best to stand straight.

"My name is Misaka." Caster said. "I'm glad to meet you Hisao. The police will do their best to help, but... I'm sorry this happened." As she saw the lights of the police cars approaching, Caster concentrated and dematerialized exactly as the Grail told her to. She saw Hisao staring where she had been, and took the chance to whisper a few last words of assurance.

"Its okay to be sad. You don't have to be alone." As she Caster saw Hisao being taken into a police car and bodies being carried out in bags, she frowned at the sight of the red symbol imprinted on Hisao's right hand. "Even if I'm just a hypocrite."

OOOOO

"How was the flight, Irisviel?" Kiritsugu asked the towering black-haired man.

"The plane was much simpler than many of the machines I've used before. It was no trouble." Saber replied as he walked down the plane's ramp, Irisviel following him at a distance. She found it disconcerting how ordinary Saber looked wearing just a black suit and tie. When he had first appeared his golden armor had seemed to fill the church, but now he looked like nothing more than a tall businessman of indeterminate origin.

"I have a car and a safe house all ready." Kiritsugu said. "Tomorrow you two will be scouting the city."

"I understand." Saber said, taking two sets of keys from Kiritsugu and passing one set to Irisviel. He waited for Irisviel to climb into the car before turning back to Kiritsugu. "Kiritsugu, you said you were in this for your ideas, right? I have spent some time thinking about that, and can't help but wonder what you would be willing to do for your ideas." Kiritsugu glared at him, not having time for pointless philosophizing. "Nevermind, then. I will take care of Irisviel." With that Saber joined Irisviel in the car, grabbing at the dashboard as Irisviel slammed the accelerator down and the car sped off into the night.

OOOOO

"Archer, I noticed you have seen fit to make use of my funds-" Tokiomi said, bowing to the blue haired man standing in front of him.

"It was only a trifling thing, I assure you. I acted only as I needed to for this Holy Grail War. Come, Let's sit down." Archer said, smoothing his robes as he sat down in one of the plush chairs of the Tohsaka mansion. Tokiomi took up his offer, sitting down across from and watching as Archer laid down his metal book on the coffee table between them, its paper-thin metal pages opened to show a pair of holographic screens. "You see, humanity's computer protocols have simply disintegrated since my era, and I needed to acquire a modern system so I could program my personal unit to link with the internet."

"I... see." Tokiomi replied, not actually having understood everything Archer said, much like he did not understand the metal protrusions framing Archer's head. "I am sorry I did not think of such provisions. We magi have little to do with modern technology."

"It's perfectly understandable." Archer said. "Trying to mix magic and technology leads to things like the Elf Wars, and I would rather such a thing never happen again. By the way, there is a man watching us from under a cardboard box just outside the mansion grounds."

"That would be Assassin, Kotomine's Servant. He is planning his... 'attack' on us." Tokiomi said.

"Well, it is good to see things have been all thought out." Archer said with a smile.

OOOOO

Caster watched quietly as the police talked to Hisao, caught up in her own thoughts. The situation she was in now... She was a ghost, as far as she could tell. She had stopped the Level 6 Shift by dying to the white haired monster called Accelerator in one move and- for some reason that fact seemed wrong to Caster, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Besides, she was too busy being bothered by how little peace she had found in death. Summoned to fight in a war by some deranged murder... Caster fought back a wave of nausea as she listened to Hisao describe how the young man broke into the apartment, and how his parents were cut open without a chance to fight back. Hisao's voice was lifeless as he described the murder, a distinct change from the terrified child Caster had first seen when she appeared. If she had to guess, he had gone into denial about everything which, Caster reflected, was easy when a lightning shooting girl magically showed up in front of you.

When the police asked about what had happened to the blond man, Hisao's eyes hardened and he mumbled something about the TV exploding. Caster closed her eyes. She hadn't been thinking when she attacked the murderer, she had just been blinded by rage and horror, and before she knew it he was dead. What did that bring her tally to now? ten thousand and thirty one? thirty two? Did she count herself? No, she had forgotten Hisao's parents. That man had killed them so he could summon her. At the very least, Caster thought, she had stopped the madman from killing anyone else.

OOOOO

Kariya gasped in pain as he fought down a fresh bout of writhing from the Crest Worms inside of him. Sliding his eyes he looked over to Berserker, hoping that it wouldn't try to take advantage of his distraction. Fortunately, the red raptor was still busy chewing on a baguette and losing to Sakura at Snakes and Ladders.

"What do I do at a ladder again?" Berserker asked.

"Tumble down, futilely struggling against the immutable laws of gravity as your life is snuffed out by the cold, uncaring earth." Sakura said without a trace of emotion in her voice.

"Ah, not again." Berserker whined, moving his piece with claws bigger than the purple-haired girl's head. Kariya turned to glance at his father, who was silently watching the almost domestic scene.

"Wasn't the 'Curse of Madness' supposed to, you know..." Kariya asked, nodding towards Berserker. The elder Matou gave a dry chuckle.

"Even experienced magi have mistaken the true nature of Berserker's curse. It's effects depend upon the Spirit who was summoned, and in your case, well..." Matou gave another chuckle. "It will be very interesting when Heaven's Feel begins in earnest." Kariya glared at him in disappointment.

OOOOO

Kayneth was well aware of how the laws of magic worked, and that ancient heroes would be stronger and smarter than any modern human could be. He just hadn't expected them to be hungrier.

"So, is our agreement clear?" He said nervously, half-concerned that his Servant might start eyeing him after having demolished the feast given, no, sacrificed to her. The red-haired girl let out a burp and leaned back into her seat, putting her feet up on the table.

"Man, keep feeding me like this and I'd dig up the Ark for you as well." Lancer said, picking her teeth with the bone from a 20,000 yen piece of chicken. "So all I've got to do is kick some people's ass and then the Grail gives both of us a wish, right?" Despite the wild abandon she had showed in her gluttonous banquet she had been remarkably thorough, not letting a single crumb fall on the short red dress she was wearing. While Kayneth had every confidence in the advantage lent to him by having a full prana supply and a prestigious magical lineage, he was not going to let his Servant show such casual disregard for the Holy Grail War.

"Your enemies are other Heroic Spirits, some of the greatest legends from the history of mankind, and it would be unwise to underestimate them." Kayneth flinched as the girl glared at him, but then her mouth spread into a grin.

"Don't worry," Lancer said. "after how many witches I've fought I won't be caught flat footed by anything." Idly, Kayneth wondered if he could have gotten a worse Servant.

OOOOO

"Uh, this is my friend, Rai-De-Ruh, and he'll be staying with us for a few days." Waver said, motioning to the meek looking boy next to him, dressed in nondescript clothing.

"Oh, you have blue hair." the old woman said. "Are you a mutant?"

"No, I'm sorry for confusing you," Rider answered in a rapid stream of words, rubbing his hands nervously. "My parents got involved with some, um... 'Really Nice Men', and I don't want anyone to recognize me so I dyed my hair. I'm sorry for taking advantage of your hospitality and-"

"Nonsense, it's always nice to have some company." the old woman's husband said. "And don't worry about Yakuza, I've still got my old shotgun in-" The man paused as his wife shot him a withering glare to remind him that guns were still incredibly illegal in Japan and he was not, in fact, Clint Eastwood. "But yeah, its no problem."

"I'm so sorry." the blue haired boy said as he cupped his face in his hands.

"Rider~" Waver muttered sadly.

OOOOO

"Clear!"

Bzzzt

"Clear!"

Bzzzt

"Clear!"

Bzzzzt

"Check the breathing!"

"No response!"

"One more round!"

Oblivious to the world, the ambulance orderlies continued trying to revive the brown haired punk in front of them.

Sage Trinity Lecture Hall: Lecture 02

"Teach us, Archer-Sensei!" A gym-uniform clad Hisao cheered.

"Call me 'roshi', Shota-Shorts!" Archer snapped.

"Well, well, well, it seems we're finally getting to the proper tone for this story." the now-properly introduced Archer said, adjusting the white kimono he was wearing. "Though I'm disappointed the author didn't set aside a paragraph describing every intricacy of my design. Oh, and Caster got more screen time than me. It's almost as if the first chapter ended where it did just so the author could have a cliff hanger.

"Hey, Hey." Hisao said. "Am I a canon character?"

"Of course!" Archer said, perking right up.

"Cool!"

"You appear for three minutes, wet yourself, scream like a little girl, and then die horribly to show off how evil Zero's Caster is. And you don't have a name."

"That's terrible!" Hisao said. "If I don't have a name I might as well be a redshirt. Hey, hey, where did my name come from, then?"

"The protagonist of an H-game, appropriately enough. Hisao is the hero of the North American visual novel Katawa Shoujo and he is thus drowning in chicks. Tv Tropes talks about the game a lot."

"Cool!" Hisao said.

"He has a heart condition and most of the love interests deride him for trying to be a white knight. He still gets lots of, ahem, love. Which might cause heart attacks. But look at the bright side! You might avoid being called an OC and just be counted as another crossover."

"Really?"

"Hell no." Archer said. "Get back in your place, OC!"

"Well, at least Ryuunoske's dead and can't- what?" Hisao said, seeing Archer pointing above him. Hisao looked up and reread the end of the chapter. "Aaaaw Maaan."