The walk to work from the hospital give me more than enough time to think about what has just happened between Princeton and I. It's his life, he has the choice to just not grow up and believe what he wants to believe, but why can't he just believe what I told him, that some people – me being one of them – don't ever realize their dreams? I don't have my life together, and I don't know when it's gonna happen either. I feel like I forgive him more than I'm letting myself believe.
Work feels like an eternity, and afterwards, I head back to the Empire State Building and up to the viewing platform. Princeton is just another guy on my list of men I've dated, and he's just like all the rest – scumbags. Well, he's better than them, but he's still a scumbag. But it's been two months since our first date, since our first night together. It's all so complicated now that I'm out of school, out of college. Why can't life be that simple?
I grip the railing, looking down at the people walking on the pavement below. "I wish I could go back to college. Life was so simple back then. What would I give to go back and life in a dorm with a meal plan again?" I sigh, looking around the almost-empty viewing platform. Typical for a chilly October evening. "I wish I could go back to college. In college you know who you are …"
I realize that reminiscing about the past won't do me any good now. That's just what it is – the past. You can't do a fucking thing about it. But that doesn't mean you can't think about what you did and didn't do. Like not telling Princeton that I'm pregnant with his child when I saw him this morning.
