A/N- I probably should have mentioned this is very AU Season 5


The moment Ziva David left the hospital with Abby, the tension in the waiting room eased.

No longer forced to watch her silent vigil, McGee was able to rid himself of some of the guilt he'd been feeling for the last several hours.

Guilt that he hadn't warned Tony in time, guilt that he wasn't the one lying on the hospital bed.

It wasn't so much that he could have prevented the situation, because he knew he couldn't have.

It was that he would rather rip his own heart out than see the pain Ziva was suffering over the senior field agent.

It was so raw, so intense that McGee could almost taste her heart-break on his tongue.

He had known that Tony and Ziva were in love- hell he'd written two best-sellers with their relationship as a major sub-plot, but because they worked so hard to keep their relationship out of the workplace, and safe from the curious eyes of Gibbs and Deputy Director David, he'd only ever seen glimpses of their passion. Passion that, as Ducky theorized was intensified by lack of physical pleasure between them.

Right now, McGee believed it.

And despite everything…despite seeing how much they suffered, how much grief it caused them both…he envied them with everything that he was.

Groaning as he rolled his shoulders, he settled back in the uncomfortable hospital chair, taking a long sip of the lukewarm sludge Director Sheppard had brought him, he stared at Tony lying there on the bed. After five minutes of debating whether or not it would truly be inappropriate to shave off Tony's eyebrows or draw some pictures on him with permanent marker, and deciding that Abby would probably scalp him for his insensitivity, McGee turned on the television settling on an old period drama. It was hard to get into, mostly because he didn't recognize it,

"You say I killed you…haunt me then, haunt me Cathy…just don't leave me!"

Nearly falling from his chair, Tim spun around to see Tony watching him through bloodshot eyes but smirking as he quoted the movie,

"Wuthering Heights" he announced, coughing as he tried to sit up,

"Lousy movie, nothing like the book, you need the latest remake, much better"

"You're awake" McGee murmured stunned, unable to believe his eyes even as he knew he should be calling Abby and telling her to turn the car around and bring Ziva straight back to the hospital,

"You seem fatter than you were this morning Probie" Tony announced, looking around the hospital room, "I should have taken the week off"

Tim rolled his eyes, "Yep, you're going to be fine…hang on I'll go get Gibbs"

"Okay, hey is this morphine?"

McGee slapped Tony's hand away from the machines, "Don't touch those and try to stay out of trouble for three minutes please"

"You've grown a pair McGoo, I'll have to cut those off you…hey" a goofy grin broke over Tony's face, "I rhymed!"

Making a mental note to get the nurses to reduce Tony's painkillers, McGee hurried to the waiting room to see Ducky regaling Palmer with his stories and Gibbs staring at a celebrity magazine while he gulped from a large coffee cup.

"Boss…Tony's awake"

Three pairs of eyes stared at him stunned, "Have you called Ziva?" Palmer asked, rising from his chair,

"Well…no I…"

"Let me talk to him first" Gibbs decided, striding past McGee, "She can take tomorrow off and sit in there till she's sick of him"

"If that's even possible" McGee murmured, loud enough for Gibbs to hear. The older man turned to him with raised eyebrows; he found himself blushing, "Well boss, it's just…"

"They aren't breaking rule number twelve McGee, the rule specifically states that you can't date a co-worker, as Ducky pointed out to me"

"Yes boss" Tim demurred, as they walked into the private room,

"Hey boss!" Tony had managed to pull himself into a sitting position by this time,

"That car did a number on me"

Gibbs smirked, "Oh yeah…we had no idea how long you'd be out for"

"Did I miss the case? Who did it…wait let me guess…it was the girlfriend!"

Gibbs had lowered his head and was pretending to scratch his eyebrow,

"They hit him with the drugs alright"

"Did Kate get out of the explosion okay?"

Both men froze and stared at the wounded agent, stunned,

"What was that DiNozzo?"

Tony seemed confused by Gibbs question, "Kate…I know she and McGee got a head start when the bomb went off, but she isn't here…she's not hurt is she?"

McGee opened his mouth but no words came out,

"Get the doctor" Gibbs hissed furiously under his breath, "Now!"


Ziva pushed open the door and stumbled into the apartment, her exhaustion finally hitting her. Distractedly she noticed the sound of Abby's hearse pulling out of the car park and knew that the Goth scientist would be telling McGee about this.

Too tired to care, Ziva wandered through Tony's apartment, side stepping the mess he made every morning. She didn't bother turning on the lights but headed straight for the guest bedroom, a room she knew of but had never been in.

It had a bedside table and a single bed with supermarket sheets and doona cover. Not many men stayed the night at Tony's and the women tended to sleep in his bed,

"Or lie in it anyway" she murmured, finishing her thought out loud.

Pulling off her clothes, Ziva crawled into the bed and lay on her stomach, burying her face into the pillow.

Tony would medically stable, he would be fine. A few days from now they would be sitting in the bullpen, moaning about paperwork, teasing McGee and exchanging the occasional forbidden glance.

Everything would be fine.

In a few moments she was asleep.


"You told me he was going to be fine!"

Jenny jumped as Gibbs shouted at the doctor, who could only raise his hands in an attempt to calm the man down,

"It appears to be a case of retrograde amnesia"

"He's lost four years of his life! He's wondering why his dead partner hasn't come to see him"

People were pausing in their activities and staring at the scene before them, ever conscious of bad publicity, especially around budget time, Jenny knew she would have to intervene.

"It will pass" the doctor predicted "his memories will return shortly"

Gibbs clearly wasn't looking to be placated though, he marched to within an inch of the younger man's face, staring down at him "And if they don't?"

"Jethro" Jenny hissed, laying a firm grip on his arm. Clearly construed as the more level-headed of the two, Doctor Pitt decided to speak to her instead.

"I am every reason to believe that Agent DiNozzo will make a full recovery"

Unfortunately, when it came to team Gibbs, Jenny herself became less than even-tempered. She gave the man an icy glare, "Make sure he does doctor"

Once he retreated, leaving Jenny with Jethro, she sighed and ushered him over to the elevator banks, waiting patiently for one to be emptied before stepping in.

Pressing the button to a level she had no intention of reaching, she stalled the elevator the moment it moved and turned to the man who had once been her teacher, her lover and had become her friend, confidante and advisor.

"It will be alright" she murmured soothingly as he pressed his hands against the back wall and leaned down, exhaling loudly,

"My best agent is lying in a hospital bed and soon I will have to tell him that his partner and friend is dead, that she has been dead for the last four years and that he has a new partner he trusts with his life but doesn't remember"

Jenny could only shrug and rub his back, "Maybe he'll recover his memory before then…maybe he'll see Ziva tomorrow and everything will come back"

He gave her a wry smile, "Never in my time at NCIS have we been that lucky, especially when it's been one of our own"

"There's a first time for everything" she clipped, patting gently as she continued running her hand in small circles against his jacket, it seemed to calm him slightly,

"Yeah…but I haven't seen Ziva cry yet, that first time could be tomorrow morning"

Jenny grimaced, but Gibbs kept talking, "Ah hell, Jen I don't know what to do…I can't explain everything to Tony in one hit, but I can't keep Ziva from wanting to see him without explaining everything to her, either way someone is going to be upset"

Unable to remember the last time she had seen Jethro uncertain, or if she ever had, she could only sigh and kiss his shoulder, "I might not know Tony as well as you Jethro, but I know that if anyone can recover from amnesia, in a ridiculously short amount of time…it's him"

"I sure hope so Jen, Ziva's not the only one who needs DiNozzo around to keep them going, without him, the team is lost"


"I know you're there Abs"

Abby flinched as Tony's voice filtered out into the hallway, where she had been hiding, as she assumed, out of sight. Biting her lip, she tried to think of the easiest way to extract herself from the situation, and couldn't come up with any conclusions. If she ran now, Tony would freak out, if she went into the room to talk to him, Tony would ask her questions she couldn't answer and freak out. If she continued waiting in the hallway…

Tony made the decision for her,

"If you're not in here in ten seconds Abs…I swear to God, I will harm Bert the Hippo!"

"Okay…okay!" holding her hands up in surrender, Abby scuttled into the hospital room, "I'm here, what is it?"

Tony just stared at her in amazement, "What is it?!" he spluttered,

"I just woke up in hospital with stitches in my head, one hell of a migraine and when I ask a simple question, 'where is Kate?' everyone runs away on me. I haven't even seen Ducky for crying out loud!"

"Right" Abby stretched out the word to kill time, hoping a nurse or doctor would come in and interrupt the conversation, "Um…I'll go get Ducky for you now…"

"Abby!" she jumped as he shouted her name, his voice full of anger,

"What's happened to Kate?"

Caitlin Todd

Abby loved Ziva like a sister, she couldn't help it. Ziva had spent so much time being sent around the world and thrown into dangerous situations with other Mossad agents, which she had learnt to trust quickly and deeply. When she had been assigned to NCIS she had brought her habits of trust with her, and Abby couldn't help but adore someone who would take a bullet for you without the slightest question and wouldn't even think of reporting you to the Director. Plus, the fact that she made Anthony DiNozzo deliriously happy didn't hurt.

But at the end of the day, Kate had been Abby's best friend, in a way Ziva never could be, simply because they came from two very different worlds. So when she heard Kate's name, her eyes watered, something which Tony couldn't fail to pick up on,

"Oh God. Abby what…what's happened?"

He knew, Abby couldn't not tell him now.

"Tony" she took a deep breath and perched on the edge of the bed,

"Kate died, she was shot in the head with a bullet by Ari Haswari…"

"No…" Tony shook his head but Abby found that once she had begun she was unable to stop,

"After Kate died, Ari came after me…I wasn't harmed but when he went after Gibbs, he-well- his body got sent back to Israel, even though Mossad told us that he went rogue"

He was gripping his sheets so hard she was worried he would rip them to shreds, he looked as though he was about to be sick, "When was this?" he asked quietly and Abby wiggled her mouth nervously, "It happened in 2004 and now it's 2008 so…"

"Four years" he choked, tears welling in his eyes and falling over his lids, "I've been asleep for four years?!"

"No" Abby inched closer and took his hand, "No you've been awake Tony, you attended Kate's funeral and everything…but when you got hit by a car yesterday morning, you woke up with retrograde amnesia, which the doctors says will go away soon"

"Four years Abby? That's not retrograde amnesia that's plain old amnesia! I'm freaking out here"

"No need to freak out Tony"

Both of them looked up as Jenny came into the room, Abby saw Tony's eyes widen slightly as he admired the attractive red-head before him, Jenny only threw him an indulgent smile,

"The doctor assured Gibbs and myself that your memories will come back naturally and that in the meantime we simply need to keep you from becoming too stressed-and I am the Director of NCIS so please stop checking out my rack"

Tony gave her a rueful grin, "Sorry ma'm"

She smirked, "I'd forgotten what you used to be like. Abby, Jethro would like a word-"

Eager to get away, Abby jumped to her feet and followed the Director from the room, but not before she caught Tony's eyes,

"Jethro" he mouthed to her questioningly,

Abby winked.


Once again left by himself, it didn't take long for the painkillers in his system to send Tony to sleep. Or maybe it was the sheer exhaustion that came with finding out he'd lost four years of his life. Either way, when he opened his eyes again, it was late afternoon, his room had grown dark and the television had been turned on, playing softly in the background- and he wasn't alone,

"Paula?" he murmured curiously, recognizing the uneven blonde hair, and the strong Nordic features. She looked over from the television and grinned,

"Hey Tony…how you feeling?"

The last time Tony remembered seeing Paula, he'd confronted her about her bad reaction to their break-up and she'd attempted to punch him in the face, he'd deflected the punch and got away. Unfortunately it had happened in the NCIS parking lot and the Director had reprimanded Cassidy over her inability to control her emotions, something Tony had felt bad about.

Then again, according to Abby that had been four years ago, Paula couldn't still be angry at him, could she?

"From what I heard outside" Cassidy continued, "You have a slight case of amnesia"

"Huh" Tony scoffed, "As far as I'm concerned it's 2004 and the CIA has just admitted that there weren't any WMD's in pre-invasion Iraq while Return of the King has just won eleven
Oscars, that reminds me, I've been meaning to buy that movie"

"Maybe you should get home and make sure you haven't brought it first" she suggested and he smirked, "Oh yeah, four years lot of time to buy a DVD, we still have DVD's right?"

She nodded, "There's also this thing called Blu-ray now but I don't think you own one"

"Oh" he lay back against the pillows and rolled his eyes, "Oh this is going to suck…anytime you want to come back memories just let me know!"

"Well this has been fun" Paula jumped to her feet, "But I have to get going, you guys left me a case to close"

"You're not on the team anymore?" he asked confused and she shook her head, "No I just came down here to give the Director a sit-rep, she wasn't answering her mobile and most of the NCIS office is stationed in the hallway anyway…except for Ziva David" she gave him a pointed look,

"Though knowing her, she probably left you in the hospital bed so she could go hunt down some terrorists, or report back to daddy dearest"

She'd obviously not intended for Tony to be able to hear that last comment, she threw him an embarrassed look, but he ignored it.

Ziva David. He couldn't bring a face to mind when he heard the name, just a great empty blackness in his memory, a large gaping hole where he assumed images, words and emotions were meant to be.

"Is she my partner?" he questioned, trying to imagine having a partner other than Kate and McGee. Paula simply snorted, "Amongst other things"

Tony felt heat rise in his face, "Is she my girlfriend?"

He knew it wasn't proper etiquette to question an ex-girlfriend about a current one, but team Gibbs certainly wasn't giving him any details at the moment.

She shook her head, "No I wasn't referring to that, simply to the fact that she serves two bosses. Us" she jerked his head towards him to imply NCIS, "And Mossad"

Tony could only stare at her in stunned disbelief,

"Mossad? As in the people whose agent killed Kate?!"

Paula only grinned bitterly and nodded,

"One and the same"

Only by moving quickly was Tony able to get his head over the edge of the bed before he was violently sick all over the floor.


A/N- Going by the basis that you wouldn't want another Mossad agent aorund you after the last one put a bullet in your partner's head