Disclaimer: As before
Author's Note: Thank you for the fantastic reception you have given this fic - most reviews I've ever had for one chapter, so I'm chuffed to bits. I hope it lives up to expectations! Sorry it's taken a while to get this chapter up; Choices is still the primary story I'm working on, but since this one has gone down so well, I am making the effort to devote a bit more time to it. Oh, and even though I didn't see the episode with Neela's wedding, I don't think things went as I have portrayed them here, but please go with it, as this is what works with the story.
'Ray, there's a call for you.' Frank held out the phone to him as he stood by the admit desk, pretending to look over a couple of charts. He couldn't take his mind off Neela. She'd been in labour forever now, and they were all on tenterhooks.
Ray reached out and took it. 'Ray Barnett.'
'Ray, it's me.' Abby sounded absolutely exhausted.
It was as noisy as Hell, some drunk was shouting his head off in one of the exam rooms, and he covered his other ear in frustration. He could hardly hear her.
'Abby, what's happened? Has she had the baby? Is everything okay?'
She deliberately didn't answer any of his questions. She didn't want to worry him, although she knew she was, but this had to be done face to face. 'Can you come over to Mercy please?'
'What was that Abby? I can't hear you.' He turned around, looking for some help. 'Sam, can you go and shut that guy up. I don't care what you do to him, just make him be quiet.'
Sam was surprised at Ray's aggressive tone and glanced over at Frank, who mouthed who was on the phone to her, then she understood. They were all worried about Neela, but Ray had been pale and drawn all day. He had been working for well over twenty four hours now; his shift had ended hours ago, but every time Luka had tried to send him home, he had refused angrily. The idea of sitting at home on his own, worrying about her was not appealing. Sam hurried off to the exam room to see to the offending patient.
He waited a moment for the shouting to stop. 'Sorry Abby, say again.'
'I said, I think you had better get down here.'
Fear gripped his heart. Oh God. Please, let her be okay. I don't care what happens to me, I'll do anything, just please, please let her be all right.
'Abby, what's happened? Whatever it is, just tell me.'
She could hear how frightened he was, and kicked herself that she couldn't think of another way to do this, but she had to get him down here. 'I'm sorry Ray, I'm not trying to scare you, but please just don't ask any questions, come here as quickly as you can.'
He took a deep breath. She wasn't going to tell him, he knew her well enough to know. There was only one thing he could do. 'I'm on my way.'
He dropped the phone back in its cradle just as Luka came past. 'Luka, I have to go.'
Luka shook his head. 'I'm sorry Ray, but I can't let you. Look around, it's crazy here.' He could see the anguish in the younger man's eyes, but it was too busy to be a doctor down, and besides, it wasn't like Ray and Neela were actually… If it was his child, it might be different.
'Luka, come on. I just got a call from Abby asking me to get over there. Please.'
Luka raised an eyebrow in surprise. 'Abby told you to?'
'Yes, that's what I said.' Ray tried not to sound too frustrated, even though he felt like he was climbing the walls.
'Fine, go. But don't be long.' Ray was already gone.
He drove like a lunatic across town, all the time making bargains with God, offering pretty much anything in return for her being okay. He repeated his prayers like a mantra, trying and failing to stay calm.
Abby was waiting for him in the reception area of the maternity ward. She saw him come running towards her, his face as white as a sheet and scarcely disguised terror dancing behind his eyes. He was still wearing a set of scrubs, and had obviously dashed straight over as soon as she called.
'Abby, Abby, I'm here, what is it? Please, just tell me. Is she all right? If anything's happened to her, just… say it.' He was breathless, and not just from the running.
She reached out and took his hands, trying to reassure him. 'Calm down Ray, she's all right. She's utterly exhausted and was in a lot of pain, but she's all right. And she's had the baby; it's a little girl.'
He let out a sigh of relief. It was only then that he realised he was trembling. 'Oh thank God. Abby, you scared the Hell out of me. I thought…' He shook his head, not wanting to think about that. 'It doesn't matter what I thought.'
As the relief filtered through, a thought struck him. If everything was all right, why had Abby demanded that he come here with such urgency? He gave her a wary look, sensing he wasn't out of the woods yet.
'Abby, why am I here?'
There was a guilty look in her eye. She was hiding something from him, he was sure of it. 'Neela really is okay isn't she?'
'Yes.'
'And the baby?'
'Yes.'
'Then… why?' He wished she would just come out with it.
She started to lead him down the corridor. 'I want to show you something.'
He stood firm, not letting her pull him with her. 'Abby, I'll give you one warning. Believe me when I say I am really not in the mood for this. You've dragged me down here, I've nearly been sick with fear that something happened to her, Luka's half tempted to sack me for walking out and you won't even give me a decent explanation.'
Abby could understand that he was angry with her, but she had it in her head the best way to do this, and she wanted to stick with it. Finding out that Neela had kept such a huge and important secret from him was going to hurt an awful lot, and she wanted the blow to fall as softly as possible.
'I'm sorry Ray, but please, just come with me. I'm not trying to mess with your head, just bear with me.'
He gave in to the appealing look she gave him, and cracked a tentative smile. 'This is your last chance, Lockhart.'
She tugged at his hand, making him follow her. They came to a halt in front of the nursery, a line of cots on the other side of the glass.
'Okay, I'm here, I see babies.'
She turned to stare at him, and her eyes were serious. 'Neela's daughter is the third from the right. Look at her Ray, look at her carefully.'
He counted in from the right hand side, along the line of cots. His gaze settled on the cot that Abby had pointed out to him, and the baby lying in it. He wasn't much of a one for young children; they all looked the same in his opinion. But this little one was all Neela. A soft smile played about his lips as she waved a little fist at him. He felt a rush of love for her in spite of himself. Who cared that another man was her father? She was Neela's daughter and he loved her for it. Not that it was anything to do with him of course, she wasn't anything to do with him, and Neela wouldn't appreciate his sentiments of course, she had barely spoken to him for weeks, and even then only in relation to a patient. That was part of the reason why he was so confused at Abby dragging him down here.
And then the more he stared at her, the more something seemed amiss. She did look like Neela, but a paler form of her. Some of the berry redness of being newly born had begun to fade now, and she was showing signs of a beautiful olive complexion. Paler than Neela. A lot paler than Michael. In fact, impossibly pale to be Michael's daughter. His heart began to race as the pieces began to come together in his mind. If Michael wasn't her father, then it must be… It was nine months since the night before Neela's wedding. It was nine months since…
Very slowly, he turned to look at Abby, who was watching him carefully. She could see from the shock written all over his face that he had really had no idea, not the slightest inkling, that the baby could have been his.
He tried to speak, but all he could manage were a few feeble stutters. 'Abby… I had no… Oh God. Is…' He gave up. There were no words, no words at all.
He looked so stricken she had to reach out and hug him. 'Do you want to tell me what happened?'
'Do I have a choice?'
'Nope. Come on, let's go to the cafeteria.'
They sat down at a plastic table, and drank the grim coffee they served out of cardboard cups. Luckily years of working in hospitals had immunised them against the standard of coffee on offer.
As he brought the cup up to his lips, she noticed his hands were shaking.
He could see her watching him, waiting for him to begin. 'I don't know where to start Abby. I don't know what to say.'
She smiled encouragingly at him. 'I'm not going to judge you Ray, I know how you feel about her. And you can tell me to mind my own business if you like, but I think you need to talk about this.'
Normally she was all for people dealing with their own problems in their own way and in their own time; it was the way she did it, so she didn't usually try to interfere with others, but she felt this was a special case. Neither Ray nor Neela had any family around, and no particularly close friends other than each other, and that was in tatters, so she felt it was her responsibility to stick around and help them.
'She's mine, isn't she?'
'Well, you'd know that better than me Ray. Could she be yours?'
He nodded. 'What did Neela say?'
'She said she's yours.' She hadn't actually, in so many words, but Abby knew that was what she was implying. 'When did you…?'
Ray sighed deeply. He had thought all this was over. Ever since it had happened, he had carried around with him a small flame of hope that she would suddenly change her mind and leave Michael but he had known all along it was a forlorn hope, and even though he knew he'd never stop loving her, he had come to terms with the fact that it was never going to be, not even now that she was a widow. But now…? They had a child together. It could change everything.
'The night before she got married, she turned up at the apartment. I don't know what she was meant to be doing, I thought she was going out for drinks but she didn't. I asked her, wasn't she meant to be somewhere, and she said, yes, here.'
He paused, trying to force out the memory that came flooding back to him. It was a recollection he saved only for those cold lonely nights when he felt like the world was ending.
'We didn't do a lot of talking. I didn't ask her why, and she didn't say. And then in the morning…' Abby could see the hurt in his eyes. 'She married him anyway. She said she was sorry, but…' He shrugged. 'And that's what happened.'
There was a long pause. Abby wanted to say something to help, but she sensed he just needed a little time to absorb everything that was going on. He had had one Hell of a shock, a life changing one. And she had a sneaking feeling that once the total surprise of it all had worn off, it wouldn't be altogether unwelcome. Ray was very much still in love with Neela, everyone knew that. As awful as Michael's death and all this was, there was the potential for something good to come out of it.
Finally, he looked up at her, meeting her steady gaze. A slow but nervous smile spread across his face. 'I'm a father Abby. I have a daughter. I'm actually a Dad.'
