I stand there day after day watcihng, waiting for my chance to just talk to her. I know that she doesn't know that i am here. Nobody knows that i am here. Everyday at the same time she comes out of her room. I love how she moves down the hallway. She has this sway to her that is irresitible. I just want to have her in my arms but as much as i want that i also want her to be happy. Once she gets into the elevator each day i go down the stairs to the lobby of where ever we are at and stand in the shawdows and watch as she makes her way to the gym that is either in the hotel or one that's only down the road. She is so beautiful with her hair swaying back and forth with each movement that she makes.

It maybe stalkerish to do all of this but she is with the wrong guy. She was suppose to be with me, but she tells me to get out. With one mistake she's gone from my life. After i watch her go in the gym i make my way back up to my room that i share with my best friend. He's getting tired of me doing this day after day. I know that i am annoying to hell and back just sitting there letting myself go. Pining over someone who has moved on with her life, but how can i move on when i am in love with her. I walked into my room and sulted down at the end of the bed like all the times before. My roommate walks out of the bathroom and rolls his eyes at the site of me doing the same thing as before.

"Dude, I am getting fed up with you!" he said sitting on the sofa in the room. "You have got to forget about her. It's been what four months?"

"Yeah." i said without any feeling behind it. I wasn't even worried about listening to him anymore. He always told me to forget it and move on. Can't he understand that i can't live without my Scarlet. She belongs to me and i need her no matter what she might think.

"John listen," Randy said sighing and turning around on the sofa to look at me. "you have been following her around since she left the hospital with Chris. You have said yourself that you haven't seen her happy like she is now in a long time. Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Of Course i do Rand, but-" Randy cuts me off with a huge sigh.

"She has chosen her path in life John, If she wants to be happy with you then so be it but as i see it she is happy without you. You need to leave her alone." He told me.

Deep down i know that he is right, i know that i should leave Scarlet alone. Another part of me, however, is telling me to fight for her. As i sat there thinking about what is right Randy gets up and leaves the room. I know that i must be getting on everyone's nerves with the way that i have been acting these past four months. I stood up and realized that Randy was right and i do need to leave her alone. I shake my head and put it in the back of my mind. I am going to leave her alone. I am going to go back to the way i was before Scarlet broke things off with me those many, many nights ago in that hospital room.


Every morning around 8 am i leave my hotel room for some morning workout. I am still recovering from that stupid incident. I hate myself now for the things that i did to myself. I tried to off myself but i just ended up hating myself for it. If it wasn't for Chris, i think that i would be dead now. He is the rock that has always been there when i needed it. He cares like nobody else has. As i stand in the elevator i think about the random things that i have been through. With my mother disowning me to breaking things off with John and to Chris helping me get over using drugs.

As i walk to the hotel gym i get this funny feeling that i am being watched. As of late i have noticed this and it's starting to freak me out. I have to talked to Chris about it and he just tells me that it's detox from the drugs. But i have been clean for almost three months. Yes i have been on the road for four months but i found ways to get my fix. As i get started on my work out i just can't help but think about my life, John being a big part of that. I jump as i get pulled out of my train of thought with a tap to my shoulder.

"Hey Hope, what are you thinking there?" Chris asked as he took up the treadmill beside me.

"Oh sorry, it's nothing." i lied, what it good it does Chris can see right through me.

"Liar, you were thinking about John again." He said glancing at me.

"Can we please drop it?" I asked as sweetly as i can.

"Sure," he shrugged it off and we fell into a peaceful silence which lasted about five minutes before i broke it.

"Chris, I had that feeling again."

"Which one?" Right, like i have so many, wait, i do.

"The stalker feeling. I thought that someone was watching me again."

"Sweetie," he sighed. "It's all in your head."

"How do you know that it's in my head? There could be someone out there stalking me everywhere i go."

"Babe, why don't we just watch out for the next couple of days. If you still feel like someone is watching you then we'll do something about it. OK?"

"Alright."

We stayed in the gym finishing up our workout. That took us only two hours, as we went to the changing rooms we showered and changed before we meet back out front. We both went to the hotel resturant and got breakfast. We sat there and ate without talking about anything major. Once we finished with that we went back upstairs to our room.

"Hopey do you want to come to the show tonight?" he asked as he always did. This wasn't even a question, more of a statement.

"Sure," If i said no he would drag me out of the room kicking and screaming. So i might as well just go with it.

"I'm leaving in ten mintues so get something to do."

"I'll just do what i always do Chrisy."

"Oh lord. Please don't cause any trouble tonight."

"Why? who's gonna see it?"

"My point exactly. You know every time that you and Shawn are in the same building something's going to happen and the last time it did Matt put that damn thing on Youtube."

"It was all in good fun. Besides you said that Cody and Layfield deserved it."

"True, but i didn't tell you to go over to them and pour water and coffee on them."

"Well the coffee was my idea. Layfield was asking for it, but it wasn't hot coffee at least."

"Yeah, yeah, just be a good girl will ya?"

"I can only say that i will try."


"Where is the next show going to be at?"

"My home state baby." Jeff said putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the hallways looking for something to do.

"Man," i said lowering my head.

"Why what's wrong?"

"I want to get a tattoo but i only know Jase at the tattoo parlor in my town. So i'm going to have to wait. This sucks."

"Shannon has a tattoo shop that you could get it done at."

"I don't want somebody that don't know what they are doing." I said strickly.

"Do you think i would of suggested it if he was?"

"No, i guess not."

"What do you want to get?"

"This peace sign on my left wrist. I want it because it means that my new life will have peace in it."

"That's sweet and i can totally see you wearing it to."

"Thanks, I-" I stopped both talking and walking. Jeff stared at me wondering what i was looking at. He looked at the spot that i was staring at and shook his head. He then pulled me into a nearby locker room, which happened to be his and Chris's.

"Scar, you are going to have to let it go. He works here and since you are here with Chris then you are going to see him alot. Damn girl it's been like months and NOW you go all postal on me."

"Sorry. The other times i have either been too high or just too absorbed in my own world."

"I think he's gone now," Jeff said looking out into the hallway.

I nodded my head and followed him out of the room only to meet by John in the hall. I growled at Jeff before turning around to head the other way. But what stopped me in my track was the niceness that John was showing. He wasn't showing hurt or resentment at all. I think that's what truly hurt me the most.

"Hey Scarlet, Jeff." He said Jeff just placed his hand on my lower back trying to comfornt me to the best of his ability.

"Hey John." we both said, me at a lower level than i normally would.

"How's it going?"

"Can you just get out whatever it is so she can stop freaking out?" Jeff asked.

"I just wanted to talk."

"She doesn't want to talk John."

"Jeff can i please talk to her alone?" he asked with pleading eyes.

"It's not up to me man. it's if she wants to talk to you." He replied. John turned his gaze to me. I gulpped loudly and looked up to Jeff. I nodded my head to him and he went back into the locker room we just left.

"Scarlet-" I held up my hand stopping him from talking any further.

"John, I'm sorry that i hurt you but what you did to me was to painful. I am sorry that i tried to kill myself and having you find me."

"Scarlet, i want to tell you that what i did is unforgivible. I don't know what i was thinking, i know that i am the reason that i almost lost you-"

"You did lose me John."

"No i didn't. you are standing here right now. Scar when i found you in your room, it broke my heart. I thought i would never get to see your smiling face again. But what i did," he trailed off. I just stared at him on the brink of tears.

"Stop." i said turning my head away from his face. I can't stand it any longer. I looked down the hall and saw my savior, yet again. He looked at me and noticed that i was about to cry. He nodded his head to Cody and made his way down the hall to me.

"Scarlet why don't we start over?"

This statement made me look back at him. "What do you mean? I'm not going to forgive and forget everything you did to me. i maybe able to forgive you but i can't forget."

"Let's just be friends. Can you deal with that?"

"I'll try. But as of right now i have some place to be." i said with a nod towards Chris. John glanced towards him and lowered his head. He nodded once before he turned around and walked down the hall.

"Hey babe," Chris said wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "What did Johnny Boy want?"

"He wanted to be friends." i said with a confused look placed on my face.

"Do you think it will be too hard on you to do that?" he asked with conceren in his voice as he led me into the locker room that Jeff was in.

"I'm not sure. If i want to move on i guess i could give it a try." I said.

We walked in the room, seeing Jeff sitting on the bench with his back turned to us. I noticed that he had his headphones in and so i smiled at the idea that was being played in my head. Chris just shook his head and went to his bag to get changed. I walked up behind Jeff and wrapped my arms around his neck. I tugged on the end of his ponytail and laughed. He reached up and pulled one of the ear plugs out.

"Hey sweetie," he said turning around to look at me. "How are you after the talk with your former lover?" He asked with a small chuckle.

"So not funny Jeffery. But it was strange."


"Dude, you seem happier. I'm guessing that you talked to Scarlet."

"Not now Randall."

"Whoa full frist name, what happened?"

"i talked to her and she seemed," I paused trying to find the right word. "happy."

"Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Of course i do but i want her to be happy with me and not with Chris, or Jeff. Which ever one she's with."

"Why would you be so unsure as to which one makes her happy?"

"'Cause she's with both of them and they both make her happy."

Unknown to the two in the locker room i was standing out side listening to every word they were saying. Every word was being stored and would be replayed to Scarlet, Jeff, and Chris soon. How could John and Randy be talking about Scarlet like that? I thought that John loved her. John is getting on my nerves. How can he treat a girl he loves the way he does?

"Hell, she could be screwing both of them." John ranted further.

"Fuck," I said walking away. I walked down the hall until i found Jeff's locker room. I knocked on the door and without waiting on an answer i walked in.

"What the hell?" Chris said spinning around to look at me. "Oh it's just you."

"Yeah i've got something to tell you all."

"And what might that be?" Jeff asked.

"I heard Randy and John talking about Scarlet."

"What were they saying about me?" Scarlet asked me.

"..." i stayed quiet. i didn't know how to tell them what i heard just minutes ago.

"Spill Matt." They all scream.

A/N: Well Matt knows, will he tell them what he heard or will he just save Scarlet's feelings for another time? Until next time...

Mandy