Ward hadn't wanted to do this, wished he could get around it somehow, but the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent had made it very clear: everyone thinks he dies, or they all do. It's just for a day, he tells himself, they'll be fine. I'll make it up to them. But then he thinks of Skye and he knows what this will do to her, and he prays that she'll forgive him for this unforgiveable sin. Because if it was her, he doesn't know what he would do. He thinks of the way she looked when he was saying those awful things back on the plane, how she shrank back and the hurt look on her face suddenly making her look so much smaller. And he hates himself for it, for hurting her like that, but now here he is, doing it again.

The plan is simple: he carries a few pebble-like devices in his chest pocket that will go off in an explosion of red when the time is right. After Skye has left, he'll sneak back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. camp. They'll be watching the bus, they'll see the reactions. That's why he can't tell anyone. And then he'll break into their base and destroy the weapon while their guard is down.

Simple. He tries to make himself think of this the way he usually does, black-and-white. He does this or they die. It's an easy choice, but for some reason this job he thinks will be the hardest thing he's ever done for S.H.I.E.L.D.

The plan works. They break into the facility, but they were expected. Ward knew this. The cameras and listening devices were too many to count, too many to find. He guides Skye through a large storage warehouse, and then, when the soldiers are in sight, the devices go off. It doesn't hurt, not even hitting the concrete floor because all he can hear is Skye's scream. And then an awful silence. The S.H.I.E.L.D. team has the soldiers covered, but he still wants her to go, needs her to leave because the sound of her sobbing beside him is the most painful, raw thing he's ever heard and he can barely stop himself from moving to comfort her. "Don't leave." She gasps out. "Don't leave me here alone."

And then she's gone, and he should be glad but instead he's left with an aching chest and her words imprinted in his mind. And he can't see how they can ever go back to the way they were after this.

He follows the plan, but his heart isn't in it any longer. All he can hear is don't leave me here alone as he takes out guard after guard, but the rage doesn't help, it never does. She knew that, of course. Sometimes he thought she knew things about him he didn't know himself. And then he reaches the room with the weapon. It should be difficult, taking out three armed guards and then planting a bomb under it, but he does it without a hitch. And then his rib is grazed and his arm is bruised but he didn't even notice it happen. He watches the base explode, into a landscape of dust and rubble and screams. And then he heads toward the bus, and this is the part that makes him hesitate, falter in his step. Because he doesn't know what kind of reception he's going to get, not after doing this to them.

He finally opens the door to the control room and steps inside.