"Okay, class, our visitor has arrived," Mr. Ratburn announced grandly, "say hello to T!"
T smiled at the class. "Hello. I am a Baptist. I own lots of keychains."
"Oh, goodie, I love keychains!" Muffy said.
"Would you like one?" T asked.
"Oh yes, please," Muffy said.
T held out a series of keychains for Muffy to select.
"Why do all the keychains have the word 'genitals' emblazoned on them?" Muffy asked in confusion.
"Because I like genitals," T explained. "Is anyone here a nullo?"
"I'm afraid not," Mr. Ratburn answered, "now T, please explain the project that you intend to do."
"Very well, Mr. Ratburn," T said, "I am writing a book about your class. In my book all of you will be doing all sorts of things."
"Oh, that's sounds exciting," Buster said.
"Your right, Buster, it is exciting," T answered. "I'll be writing about your class doing all sorts of things."
"What kind of things?" Brain asked.
"Field trips?" Francine guessed.
"Close," T answered, "I mean going to a bathhouse."
"Huh?"
"And the glory holes in the bathhouse," T continued.
Brain's face was green with disgust while the rest of the class looked confused.
"And about students getting circumcised, like Bud Compton."
Muffy covered her ears. "Please no. I don't want to hear that again!"
"And about gay pride parades."
"That's your chapter, Binky," Mr. Ratburn said.
"Mr. Ratburn, I'm not -"
"And about baths together or in public. And seeing each other's genitals."
"Why are you writing about this kind of stuff using us?" Sue Ellen asked.
T ignored her. "And about getting castrated."
"Why?" Brain asked.
"And sometimes about mayoral elections, going out to each, Jewish rituals, Christian rituals, going to Vegas and Japan, and seeing a communist wedding."
"Hooray!" shouted Prunella. "Better wed when red!"
"And so much more," T finished.
"What creative ideas, T," Mr. Ratburn said. "Isn't this a wonderful project?"
"I don't want to be written about that way," Francine responded. The rest of the class muttered in agreement.
"Don't be rude, class," Mr. Ratburn said. "T is a misunderstood intellectual. Now, T, who shall you write about first?"
T scratched his chin and stared into space for a while. "Arthur. I'll write about Arthur first."
"What? No!" Arthur screamed in terror.
"Excellent choice, T!" Mr. Ratburn said, "Arthur, you and T will go into the art room so he can properly interview you until he finds inspiration."
"Must I?" Arthur barked angrily.
"Yes."
Arthur sighed and walked up from his chair following T. Before they close the door, T winked and said "We'll have a lot of fun."
"Ugh," Arthur groaned as he shut the door.
"How exciting to create literature," Mr. Ratburn gushed.
"Mr. Ratburn, where and when did you meet this guy?" Sue Ellen asked.
Mr. Ratburn shrugged. "Puking in a dumpster at Happy Hour. Why do you ask?"
