Title: Silent Scream

Warning: Unstable Ichigo. Character Death.

Pairing: Shirosaki x Ichigo.

Side Pairing:None

Summary: "Hey, Shiro?" He called. "What do you think about this one?" He would continue talking with Shiro, even if his hollow couldn't hear him, he would continue no matter what. He held his sketch up towards the mirror, smiling, searching after yellow iris and black sclera. "I like this one better, much more than your former mask"

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach


"Ichigo" Someone called from behind the orange-haired male. Ichigo didn't notice as he continued to help his younger sister, Yuzu, by placing the plates onto the table. Isshin stood behind them and watched their interacting, noting how Yuzu asked all kinds of questions to her older brother, and how long it took Ichigo to answer. She would ask him all kind of stuff, which food did he like? Did he have problems eating tomatoes? She obviously didn't know anything about her brother. How should she know what he liked when he locked himself inside his room and barely touched the food he got than the bare minimum? Isshin blamed himself for everything. He watched Ichigo with wary and tired eyes.

How long had it been since Ichigo had been amongst them, properly, and talked with them normally?

Far too long

Masaki and Isshin had wanted to let him be in the beginning. It was his first imaginary friend, and they usually outgrew them the older they got, but it didn't seem like the care here. They had truly believed so, and had even acted along. Like a first love, it was something special. But the years had passed and he still talked with Shiro while talking less with them. They hadn't known what to do.

They had tried to pull him away from the mirror, bribing him with candy, a new laptop, a trip to the nearby zoo, but he didn't want anything like that as his faze would linger on the mirror.

Isshin had even gone to Aizen-sensei again, who had explained that Ichigo might have a mild case of schizophrenia, but it was nothing life threating. He had some of the signs; feeling followed, other beings talking with him. But it hadn't been enough as Aizen concluded that Ichigo just had a creative mind.

"Ichigo?" Isshin called again before he slowly touched the orange haired male's shoulder, hesitated a bit before he turned around. Ichigo's dull brown eyes were blank, but they registered who he was before the owner of the eyes smiled.

"Father?" Ichigo replied as he held a carrot in his left hand.

Yuzu turned around in surprise and shock, a knife in her hand which she quickly placed on the table. "What's wrong, otou-chan?" She asked, but was ignored as the elder man continued to gaze into Ichigo's eyes.

"What's wrong, otou-san?" Ichigo asked and tilted his head slightly to the head curiously. Shiro liked it when he did so, saying he looked cute, and it had now become a habit. He hadn't expected his father to be home, especially since Isshin hadn't been home since he had left his room and Shiro had disappeared. He felt a pang in his heart, and vowed yet again to find Shiro.

Isshin and Ichigo stood like that for a few seconds. Ichigo hesitated a bit before he placed his hands on his father's biceps. He was unsure whether or not he should hug his father. Would it be too intimate? Should he clap his father's shoulder like Shiro did with some of his arrancar friends? Or a full on hug like Neliel did? Ichigo ended with lightly placing his arms around Isshin middle and just held them there.

"Fa- Goat-face" He corrected himself. He vaguely remembered his nickname to his father. "What's the matter? Why is it when I leave my room everyone is either crying or ignoring me?" He asked. Isshin pulled away and Ichigo happily let his hands fall to his side. He hadn't felt comfortable with the closeness of another male who wasn't Shiro. "Did I do something wrong?"

Isshin sighed. "You had locked yourself in your room for a long time, speaking with yourself and never interacted with your sisters or myself" Isshin's steady gaze was making the orange haired male uneasy, resulting in him turning away. "It was as if you were in a trance, far away from here"

'But I was just together with Shiro' was what Ichigo wanted to say, but he knew he would get sent to Aizen-sensei again, so he choose anew what to say. "But I'm here now…" His throat closed down and a 'out of commission' sign was hanged on it. He was here, amongst his family but Shiro wasn't here. Isshin continued to watch Ichigo for a while more before he smiled. The dark haired man clapped Ichigo's shoulder before he turned around, a large grin on his face as he raced into the living room while shouting Yuzu's name. He was probably hungry.

Ichigo took that as his chance to leave the kitchen. He needed to see to Shiro, maybe he had returned.


"Hey Shiro" Ichigo softly called as he gazed into the mirror. "Are you there?" He tried not to look into his own reflection. He hated the sight of himself. Ichigo was disgusting and not attractive like Shiro. His eyes had the color of dried leaves, skin like the whites of a fish belly and dark markings around his eyes. Shiro had said he looked fine, that Ichigo was beautiful in his eyes. But he couldn't see the beauty in himself, only the hideous beast.

He waited a few seconds before he continued. He would try a few times more before he would leave and try a new mirror. He stared hard as he tried to replace brown eyes with yellow iris, white with black sclera. Fish belly white skin with a clean white alabaster skin color. But it didn't work and he was left with his own image in the polished surface.

"I'll try another mirror… Just come back to me, Shiro" Ichigo placed his forehead against the cold glass as he tried to ignore the tingling feeling behind his eyelids. "I need you…"

Ichigo stared into the mirror before sighing. He kissed it lightly, willing himself to imagine that it was returned by his hollow before he left the bathroom. Ichigo slowly walked into his room and ignored his broken mirror. The glass shards had all been collected and placed in a box. He would never throw it away.


A month had passed by slowly with no signs of Shiro returning. He missed his pale hollow more than he would ever have believed he would. Shiro had always been a part of his life, ever since he had first meet the adjuchas form belonging to Shiro. Whenever he had been happy or sad he knew Shiro was there, ready to tell him about some story.

Shiro being gone was like losing a part of himself, which had always been there.

Ichigo had tried to act like the perfect big brother and son ever since Karin had broken Shiro's mirror. Karin had slowly opened up to him, but Ichigo knew that she didn't like being around him for some reasons. Yuzu had slowly stopped clinging to him as if he was a priceless porcelain doll, but she still stayed close to him whenever she got the chance.

Even his father had stopped hiding every pointy object around the house. But he had no knowledge about the glass shards Ichigo hid in a box underneath his bed.

Ichigo had searched everywhere in the house or in the city whenever he could just for a glimpse of Shiro, but the arrancar was nowhere to be seen. Almost like a dream which wouldn't return no matter how much he tried to call it back.

Ichigo had returned to school, but he felt… detached from the foreign surroundings. It was too silent and… He didn't know what. But one thing he knew was that he didn't belong here. Ichigo pulled a pair of headphones up from his bag and began listening to some music. It had been a gift from his father, as a "Thank-you-for-getting-out-of-your-room"-gift. Ichigo hadn't liked the gift when he got it, but he thanked heaven now that he could listen to something calming instead of the constant buzz around him.

The people around Ichigo slowly thinned out as they each walked into their next classroom. Ichigo glanced around with no clue as to where he should go. He had gotten a paper from his father with his timetable on and which classes he had. First class was English. Shiro had taught him to read Japanese, seeing as he didn't want to leave his room.

Now he just had to find class 156.

The walk around the halls were quickly over as he finally reached his destination. Ichigo hesitated for a moment before he knocked on the door.

"A moment" was heard before the door opened. The woman, probably the teacher, stood in front of him, her eyes narrowed as she took his form in. "And what can I help you with?" She asked politely, her voice was strict but somehow has the same tone as Harribel, the Tres Espada.

Ichigo said nothing but just handed the paper over to the teacher. He didn't like her for some reason, and he wouldn't hide it. He would be the being at home until he found Shiro, but not at this school. The teacher looked it through before she motioned for him to enter, closing the door afterwards.

"Class, let me introduce you to your new classmate, Kurosaki Ichigo" The teacher walked so she stood in front of the class. Ichigo walked after her and stood beside her, still not knowing what he should be doing.

"Introduce yourself…"

Shiro! Ichigo widened his eyes and looked around to see if the hollow was nearby. That was Shiro, he just knew it. But as Ichigo looked over the students he felt saddened over the fact that he couldn't see the Cero Espada.

"I'm Kurosaki Ichigo…" What more could he say? He didn't have that many interests other than…. "I like to draw"

"Alright Kurosaki-kun. You can take a seat in the back near Muguruma. Muguruma-kun, please raise your hand"

A male near the back raised his hand. Ichigo walked towards him and took the empty seat, immediately taking a brand new notebook up and a pencil up. He tried to follow what the teacher was talking about, he truly did. Again, this was nothing new as Shiro had found one of his friends to teach Ichigo everything he would need to know.

His fingers were literally twitching to draw Shiro.

The teacher had her back turned toward them, numbers pouring out of her fingers and onto the blackboard. She wouldn't see, wouldn't notice. He needed to draw Shiro, to remember what he looked like. He glanced into his pencil case and pulled a light blue colored pencil out and started to sketch. A circle, guidelines for the eyes, nose and mouth, the chest, then the waist, legs. He drew and slowly closed off, entering his and Shiro's world.

He could almost hear Shiro.

Ichigo pulled his favorite pencil up from his pencil case and set to line the drawing. Shiro had his back turned towards him, his head tilted to look over his shoulder with a maniac smile and laughing eyes.

"Kurosaki-kun"

Shiro would need to be shade too, but should he color it? Not that there was a lot to color, but it would look good if it had a blue glow to it, as if the moon was illuminating the hollow.

"Hey Kurosaki…!" The guy, Muguruma, called from beside him. Ichigo turned towards him with a questionable tilt to his head with a frown. He didn't like being interrupted while drawing; it made him lose his way of thoughts. "The teacher is calling you" The silver haired male frowned back as he pointed to said teacher.

Mahogany brown eyes glanced up to stared at his teacher. He didn't understand why she had been calling his name. He had done nothing bad; he attended class and hadn't disturbed her or the class.

The teacher sighed before she gestured to the blackboard which was almost filled with math related knowledge and some questions they were working on. "I want you to solve question 6." She was walking towards his seat and handed him the white chalk. He stared at her and couldn't she as to why he should solve it. His father had only told him to attend, nothing more. But he said nothing as he accepted the piece of chalk. He wanted to finish the question as soon as he could so he could continue drawing Shiro. Ichigo tried as much as he could not to draw whenever his siblings or father was at home.

Ichigo walked to the blackboard and stared blankly at the dark blue surface. It looked a lot like Grimmjow's hair when it was wet. Ichigo snickered as he remembered the prank Shiro had pulled on the blue haired Espada,

"Today, Kurosaki-kun"

Ichigo scowled as he turned back to the math question. He was blank; he could remember nothing in that moment but Shiro and what he had seen in his mirror. If only Shiro had been there, he would probably have been able to answer it.

"…. f(x) =15+6"

Ichigo glanced up and stared at his teacher. Had she whispered the answer to help him? But it had... sounded a lot like Shiro… But he would gladly accept the answer, no matter if it was right or not. He quickly wrote the answer down, placed the chalk on her table and walked back toward his seat. His classmates were still looking at him, but the pressure slowly lessened as their attentions returned onto their teacher.

"Good, Kurosaki-kun" She took the chalk. "But please stop drawing and follow my lesson" She stared at him to prove her point before she turned back to the blackboard and continued with the lesson.

Ichigo didn't listen to her as he took his mechanical pencil up and continued to draw Shiro. He wouldn't color it, but only give him a blue highlight where the light would reflect off of his white skin. The sound of high heels was heard before his sketchbook was removed from right in front of him. Ichigo blinked once before looking up, his neck giving a loud crack, but he didn't care as he stared at his sketchbook which was held up by his teacher. Was she trying to take Shiro away from him too? Like Karin had done?

Shiro. Was. His!

'Calm down' Ichigo chanted to himself as he kept his eyes on the image of Shiro. "Hand him… back" He mentally clapped himself on the shoulder. He would try and be calm, but it was so hard to sit still. Truly hard. "Hand him back… now"

But no matter how kindly he asked the hard-haired teacher, whose name he still didn't know, he didn't get the sketchbook back. "You will be able to get this back after the lesson is done, until then you have to follow the lesson" And with that she turned around and casually walked back towards the desk.

It was too much. She had no right taking anything from him, neither Shiro nor his drawings. He stood up so fast the table toppled over and clattered noisily against the blank floor. Ichigo didn't care as he ran up to the teacher and grabbed her middle, taking her down with him. Ichigo tried to grab the sketchbook, not caring that the teacher was trying to push him away or the shocked students around him. He just wanted his sketchbook, nothing else.

She was shouting something right by his hears, her breath ruffling the orange locks there but he heard nothing. Another shout was heard behind him before his arms were grabbed and pulled over his head, successfully locking them there and making Ichigo unable to get away.

"What are you doing, Kurosaki?!" The male holding him shouted as he tightened his arms. Ichigo winched, it felt as if his bones were grinding together. The orange haired male continued to struggle before he slowly stopped. He was worn out and tired, but he wanted what was his back. "You calmed down now?" The ruff voice behind him said, but didn't let go.

Ichigo didn't reply. He watched as a small girl with black haired got close to the teacher, who was out of breath with a light layer of perspiration on her skin. She looked familiar, but Ichigo didn't know from where or why. "Sensei, I think it would be best if we returned the book back to Kurosaki-kun" The dark haired girl then took the book from the teacher, holding it up so Ichigo could see it. "I'll place your sketchbook on the table…" She walked forward, her palms facing up as if she declared herself as weak. Her purple eyes turned to the male behind Ichigo before she placed Ichigo's priced possession on the table.

Ichigo breathed in and out. Relax, relax so whoever held his limbs would let go so he could get his Sketchbook. Relax, so he could get home. Relax so he could search after Shiro again.

Relax.

Finally, after what felt like infinity, he was let go. His legs were wobbly and his hands were shaking, but he didn't care as he carefully placed his drawings in his white backpack with red markings. "I'm leaving now…." He muttered, before he just stuffed the rest of his stuff and left.

He would go mad if he didn't find Shiro soon.


A/N

And so we come to chapter 2 of Silent Scream! :D

I think I'll work on one of my grimmIchi's next. IS there a wish for one of my stories to be updated next? :P