Phonecalls and Footfalls
Chapter 2: Skelletons in the Closet

WARNING: SUGGESTIVE OF P*RN. YEH. ALSO TALKS ABOUT UNDERWEAR.

"Hahahahaha!" Alfred belted out laughter at the sight before him. He was gasping for air, holding his stomach and rolling around on the floor. How could this get any better?

After America's phone call with the enigma on the other end of the line, the already hyper, chaotic discussion had gotten even more out of hand.

"Onhonhonhon~!" France's infamous laugh filled England's ears. "I bet you wish you were America right now!"

England when red in the face from rage (and maybe some bashfulness), "I'm not a pervert, unlike some people! Only you would be as low as to steal someone's girlfriend!"

"So you admit I get more girls! You agree love is magic, unlike the stage-tricks you do! " The annoyingly triumphant face sent England into a rampage.

"I SAID NOTHING OF THE SORT, YOU GIT!" Enraged, Britain lunged at the pervert, sending him to the floor with a CRASH! Prussia was cheering for his friend and Spain was laughing heartily: they found this to be a normal occurrence and a great form of entertainment. Romano (South Italy) and Germany couldn't disagree more. The Italian yelled to the Spaniard about 'Shitty perverts' and 'barstard tea-drinkers' while the German scolded his older brother (yes Prussia is –surprisingly- older) about 'ridicules arguments' and 'time-wasting idiots'.

Italy, on the other hand, was with Japan. "Vee~ Why did America have that strange ringtone?"
"Itary-san, I don't think anyone knows." Japan was even more confused. The slightly depressing love song didn't suit his energetic comrade. Why did it have to be so strange? Everything is simpler in Japan…

"We should forget and become one, da?" At this point, Italy was so freaked out by the aura of the scary-as-fudge Russian that he jumped on Japan sending them both to the ground. At this same time, one of deepest fears came true. There was a man crushing him to the ground. "I-itary-san! Prease get off! Personar space!"

"Om my god Japan save me! HelpMeHelpMeHelpMe! Germany save me from Russia! DOITSU!" he was practically in tears now. Why me?

Meanwhile in Russia's head I just want them to be with me…they will become one, and then they will never leave me by myself! Actually…I haven't seen Belarus all day. She will leave me alone, da? No more scary Bela-

"Big brother!" N-nooo! Belarus jumped on her brothers back. "Marry me….."

"Marry me…marry me"

"MARRY ME! MARRY ME!"

Can you really blame America for cracking up? Honestly, I would join him. *ahem* Back to this situation...

There were few who weren't taking part in the ruckus, in some shape or form. Even Greece had awoken and was 'debating' loudly with his Turkish enemy. Often one wonders how such hate can be found in the world. Look into this hall and you can see the world- literally- is a chaotic bunch of people with little peace making skills. (A/N I almost spelt it 'skillz'! XD)

Once again the infamous sound of guitar skilfully blaring through the hall. Heads all turned, once again, to our tomato loving, guitar playing, child loving Spaniard.

"Why do you all look at me? We already now it's America's girlfriend calling!" Pointed out the the man, a (manly, mind you) pout on his tan face, a few curly chestnut locks falling into his ears from his little scuffle with South Italy earlier. In response, everyone's heads snapped to America so fast it was surprising they didn't have whiplash.

One of the main reasons everyone was so gripped on the mini-drama is so that they could prove someone wrong about the American nation's 'girlfriend'.

On the other hand, England; too prideful to admit it, was worried about America. He didn't want the poor youngster -in his view at least- to have a broken heart. As I said, he wouldn't admit, but he couldn't imagine America without his bright, optimistic smile and flawless determination.

As soon as 'Merica picked up the whole room heard: "Я хочу ответы на некоторые вопросы от вас!" Russia's head tilted in curiosity. Why was she saying 'I want some answers from you!'?

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN RUSSIAN?!" Indeed. Why is she? She is my citizen, maybe...? Thought the tall country.

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN ENGLISH?!"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?!" Yes, why? Agreed everyone else in the room.

"I DON'T KNOW! LET'S STOP!" Germany absent-mindedly noted that America had left the phone on speaker from the previous conversation and hadn't yet noticed.

"OKA- I mean- okay!" If you listened close enough, you could hear a relieved 'finally' from Japan, and other various personifications.

"So…" America began awkwardly, obviously confused as to why he was being called a second time. "Why'd you call, bro?"

"Well, I was cleaning…"

"Yeah."

"So I decided to go into your room, since you don't EVER clean in there…"

Strangely enough, America shifted uncomfortably and stared to look around, slightly alarmed. Even the fairly spacey N. Italy noticed his suspicious change in attitude.

"Y-yeah…"

Is he hiding something dirty in his room? Thought France, I remember having some pictures that should be censored from that one party where I drank a little too much…Prussia and Spain are determined not to let me live THAT down!

What has that idiot got himself into now? Really! I sure as hell didn't raise him to keep stupid bloody trinkets in his room!

"So I looked into your wardrobe…" She continued a slight change in her voice. By now, America was – quite literally – sweating buckets. Eyes looking everywhere, frantically looking for an excuse to NOT have the conversation.

France and Prussia began to imagine what dirty and/or embarrassing things he could have: from their own experiences of people digging through their stuff. Were there very GRAPHIC magazines in there? Very ADULT items?!

Feli, however, was in a completely different mind-set. What if he had dead bodies in there?! After verbalising his ideas, he successfully freaked out his brother, S. Italy, and said country's (now flustered) frenemy, Spain.

"What do you think I found?" Now her voice was, though still sweet, was menacingly so. The seemingly innocent question had such an overbearing dark undertone, that Alfred was quaking in his boots.

"N-nothing! Hero's don't have dark secrects!"

In response, she said "Really? Because there's some dead bodies in he-"

"WHAT?!" Bellowed America in shock, "I ONLY HAVE YOUR PANTIES IN THERE!"

""

"Wait. Did I just-"

"Yes. Yes you did." She was clear amused with the whole situation. She then said quickly:

"Well Auf Wiedersehen*! Be prepared for slow painful death when I next see you." With a creepily innocent voice before hanging up.

"..."

There was a brief moment of silence.