A/N: This one-shot is based off of my current favorite song, I hate u, I love u by gnash and olivia o brien. Not all of my one-shots will be like this, but this is kind of connected to the last one.

Feeling used, but I'm still missing you.

And I can't see the end of this; just wanna feel your kiss against my lips.

And now all this time is passing by,

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you, realize how much I need you.

Maya had always loved Lucas. Perhaps no one ever saw her true intentions; perhaps it was her fault she never told anyone. She wanted to hate him, for Riley's sake. She tried, she really did.

It was just too much. Built up tension and lust all came out. And she's not sorry. Maya's ego wouldn't let her apologize to Riley; she didn't know what she should feel sorry for. She loved him, too.

Yet she can't help but feel like a toy. Lucas hasn't spoken more than a couple sentences to her since that night, and Maya realizes that to Lucas, it was just a fling. She told him, too. That night, before things went too far, she told him how much he meant to her. He just didn't care about her feelings.

She sees him at school, staring at Riley and Farkle. She gazes at him the same way he peers at Riley, and she feels a pang in her chest. There's nothing she can do.

She doesn't notice how Lucas watches her in class, or how he feels conflicted about who to love.

I hate you,

I love you,

I hate that I love you.

Don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you.

You want her, you need her,

And I will never be her.

She loves him, so much.

She hates the way he looks at Riley, she hates that she was the one who told him to piss off. She hates the fact that she will never be Riley. She hates the torture she is putting herself through; but you can't help feelings. You can't stop them, or speed them up. They have to run their course, even if it tears you apart piece by piece. She has no one now. Katy and Shawn are too in love to notice that Maya is falling, tearing at the seams. Riley won't even look her way anymore, Farkle only gives her glares as he passes.

She can't find it in herself to put anyone else before him. He is her top priority; she can't help the way she feels.

Lucas is letting go; he needs to focus on chasing after Riley.

I miss you when I can't sleep,

Or right after coffee, or right when I can't eat.

I miss you in my front seat.

Still got sand in my sweaters, from nights we don't remember.

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Fucked around and got attached to you.

Friends can break your heart too, and

I'm always tired, but never of you.

Lucas watches his princess from afar. If he wasn't sure about his feelings before, he is now. He can't live without her. Maya ignites a flame in him, but fire is dangerous, and can burn you if you don't get air. Maya was not his sister, but neither was Riley. At the end of the day, it was who he could and could not live without. He had told Riley, in Texas, that he wouldn't have made it without her. This was the answer all along. Riley was good, and he needed something good.

After all, they were nothing alike.

He was wild and uncontrollable. His anger constantly got the better of him, and Maya only ignited that rage. She was mesmerized by it.

Lucas knew Riley didn't miss him, she made that clear when she smiled at him before walking out with Farkle. They were best friends before they were together.

Lucas is just done with everything.

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing,

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance.

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings.

Lucas is fighting with his heart. His mind tells him to move on, that there's no use in missing a girl that he made run away. His heart, it's filled with passion. Love and devotion cloud up his judgement so that he can no longer tell what is right and what is wrong. His friendship with any of them is down the drain. Maybe that's a good thing; they all just need space to figure things out. Not all things take company to solve.

Lucas wants to move on, but how can he? His feelings won't go away! Not for one minute. He wishes that his affection for Riley died, like it did for Maya. Not all the way, but just dull down enough for him to ignore its presence.

All alone I watch you watch her,

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen.

You don't care you never did,

You don't give a damn about me.

How is it you never notice,

That you are slowly killing me?

Maya sees it; she isn't as stupid as people make her look. She sees him wanting her, and it kills her inside. It's sad, but the truth. Lucas may have cared about her at one point, but to Hell with those feelings. The whole disfigured group sends each other glares when no one is looking.

Lucas and her made eye contact. Though it seems small, it means the world to Maya. Maybe he will start to notice how dead she is inside. It gives her hope.

Hope is for suckers.