The Aftermath

The weeks following John McAvoy's attack on Mac had been good.

Her voice had come back fairly soon and she had suffered no long term damage, much to everybody's and especially Will's relief.

Charlie had fully supported Will's decision to ban his father from the ACN premises and Tamara had quickly put the incident behind her as well.

Next to Mac's health though, most importantly the relationship between her and Will had rapidly improved.

Will had been tearing himself up internally that he hadn't prevented his father from hurting her. As a consequene since that day he had refrained from his usual digs and hurtful remarks, and he had also been more attentive. He had started to accompany Mac outside when she left after the show to find her a cab and sometimes even dropped her off at her place on his way home. The first times he had made it seem accidental, but Mac had soon figured out that he was calling it a day just in time so that he could escort her downstairs.

At first she had tacitly accepted it, pretending to believe in the feigned coincidences and embracing the feeling of safety, as she didn't know if Will's father might still be around. Soon though she had started to almost expect Will to leave together with her, grateful for his concern and secretly enjoying his attention, so she was surprised when for the third night in a row he was still busy working in his office when she was ready to leave this Friday evening.

Despite that he had taken the time to take her downstairs the previous nights and waited until she had been seated in a cab. Afterwards though he had gone straight back to his office to continue working.

Finally Mac wanted to know the reason why he was staying behind, so today she knocked at his door, but instead of just letting him know that she was ready to go, as he had made her promise, she stepped inside and sat down in front of his desk. When after a moment he looked up she spoke.

„What are you still doing here, Will? What are you working on so late?"

Will looked at her, but then shook his head and looked down at the papers in front of him again while speaking. „Are you ready to go home?"

Mac knew him well enough to realize that he was trying to change the subject, so she settled into the chair and crossed her legs. „Talk to me, Billy."

After a moment Will sighed and ran his hand over his face. „I'm doing research."

She frowned. „On what? You didn't tell me anything about a potential story you are looking into?"

Again Will didn't reply, but this time Mac saw that he was trying to find the right words. Finally he answered with a question. „Did you know, that last year 702.000 children in the US alone were victims of maltreatment? That more than 2% of all children under the age of one were abused? That is 88.000 babies!"

After letting these numbers sink in Mac shook her head. „No, I didn't know that. These numbers are terrible, Billy. But why are you..." Her voice was soft and suddenly mingled with a touch of compassion when she realized his motivation. „Your father..."

It wasn't a question but rather a statement. She knew that what had happened had shaken Will and had stirred up many memories of his childhood, but she hadn't noticed before that he had been brooding over it this intensely. „Why are you researching this?"

„I checked and we didn't even mention last year's Child Abuse Report in the show, not once. Neither did we in the past years. I want to change that." He looked at Mac rather defiantly, showing her that he wouldn't except 'no' for an answer. However she actually liked the idea and didn't hesitate to let him know.

„I think that is great , Billy, why didn't you talk to me about it before? I could have helped you or at least assigned you an intern for the research."

Will shook his head. „No... no, I need to do that myself..."

After a moment Mac nodded. „I understand... When...? Children's Day is on November 20, but I assume you don't want to wait that long?"

„No, I want to do it before then; this is important, Mac." Will shook his head. „But maybe... If we add a human interest story, talk to some children about their experiences as well as to their guardian or handler from Child Services, maybe we can do a follow up on them in November?"

„I like it." Mac smiled, but turned serious again immediately. „But only if the children are deemed capable to talk about it. You will go over the questions with a psychiatrist before, you will get advise on how to talk to them, and a professional will be on the set. We don't want to harm them even more."

„Of course." Will looked back at his computer screen, a little more relaxed now that Mac had approved of his pitch, and and she used the opportunity to observe him for a moment. He looked tired and still frustrated, so finally she couldn't hold back. "Will?"

„Hmm?" His head didn't move.

„Let's go home for tonight. Why don't we meet during the weekend and work on it?"

Now he looked up. „We?"

She shrugged. „I'd like to help you. As you said, this is important. But not tonight anymore, it's been a long week."

Letting his eyes roam from her face to his laptop and back to her he sighed. „Okay, let's go home."

While shutting down the computer he kept telling himself that she was right; it was late and he had worked long hours the previous nights already. „Lonny is waiting downstairs, we'll drop you off."

He was glad when she thanked him with a smile. He reassured himself that he just wanted to make sure that she got home safely and tried not to think about how he had enjoyed these last weeks during which they had grown so much closer again.

In the meantime Mac had slowly walked towards the door where she waited for him to finish up. „Why don't I come to your place tomorrow? Then Lonny can enjoy a well deserved day off?"

Thinking about it for a moment Will finally nodded his consent. „Let me just pack these papers then, we're gonna need them."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As agreed upon Mac went over to Will's apartment mid-morning, however not before stopping at a little bakery to pick up some bagels and donuts.

When she arrived Will had already set up his laptop and laid out his previous research on the table. „Great, perfect timing, we can start right away."

Waving the pastries' bag she nodded. „Fine, but I need coffee first. I haven't had breakfast yet, what about you?"

Will shook his head. „I'm not hungry, but go ahead."
He had been too nervous to eat at the thought of her coming over, but he surely wouldn't let her know, so he just moved into the kitchen to start the coffee machine and then got out a plate for her to place her goodies on. While she arranged the assortment on there he got out the coffee cups. „Milk and two sugars?"

„One sugar, please." Seeing him raise his eyebrows Mac shrugged. „Tastes change. In the Middle East we often had to drink it black, so with two lumps it's too sweet for me now."

„Oh, okay..." They had never talked about her time abroad and this certainly wasn't the right time to start, not only because it still troubled him to think of Mac being in a war zone. Filling their cups he followed her to table and sat down. „Where do you want to start?

„It's your project, Will. What have you planned so far?"

Gathering his thoughts for a moment he slowly started to speak. „I have mostly done general research so far, case numbers country- and state-wide, are Child Protective Services sufficiently funded and staffed to deal with all cases, indictments and in comparison conviction rates, that sort of stuff... But I think..."

Will stopped and when he didn't continue Mac took some time to sip on her coffee before encouraging him. „You think what?"

„That's all well and good, but that would be a three minute segment and people will say 'Really? That's terrible' and then forget about it again. I want to do more... I thought maybe we start off with that and then make follow ups or dedicate a week or even month to child abuse. We could pick it up daily or weekly with different focal points... What do you think?"

Mac held her coffee with both hands and after thinking it over she slowly nodded. „That could work... I think we should go for five segments, Monday through Friday. If we only do it on a weekly basis the momentum could get lost, and the viewers might lose the overall picture as well as the relations between the different foci... And as you said last night we could follow some children in the aftermath, how they are trying to deal with it and find back into a normal life. Provided we get the okay from their guardian, psychiatrist and ACN legal, otherwise there's no way we will do that." She waited for Will's approving nod before she continued. „If they approve we could do follow-ups in irregular intervals with a round up on Children's Day? Or rather the day before, November 20th is a Saturday this year."

Giving her a relieved smile Will pulled out a piece of paper from the stack in front of him. „That sounds great. I made a rough draft and I would suggest that on day one we talk about the general statistics and draw attention to how many children are effected by child abuse every year. Then we should have a segment on how CPS and also NGO's are working and what they can do for the kids as well as what programmes exist to prevent child abuse. Another part should be legal consequences for the abusers... And what I would also like to cover is the psychological component – Why do adults and especially parents abuse the children, and why are the numbers so different from state to state."

„What do you mean by that?"

„Just look here," Will pointed at the computer screen. „Pennsylvania 2009, for example. about 2.7 mio children up to 18 years of age lived there, and 23.100 children were abused at least once, that is 0,83% of all children. Now take Ohio, also 2.7 mio children, but here the number of unique victims is 99.813, that is 3.68%. Where is this difference coming from? Both are Rust Belt States with a similar racial mix and economic problems, so why is there such a huge difference in these numbers?"

„Mmh... That is strange indeed." Biting her lower lip Mac frowned. „Maybe Pennsylvania has better prevention policies in place, like earlier responses at first signs of trouble, quicker interventions, more effective counseling, etc.?"

„Exactly, that's what we should find out. Maybe that could also help other states in getting their numbers down. See here, in D.C. 12,75% of all children, imagine that, were abused in 2009. And nationwide more than 3 mio children, that is 4,81% of all children in the US, received CPS response calls, almost 20% of them more than once!"

„These numbers are terrible, Will..." Mac carefully placed her hand on his arm and gave it a comforting squeeze, but then she paused for a second. „What exactly do your statistics define as abuse?"

„The numbers are from the Child Maltreatment Report 2009 of the DHHS. The greatest proportion of these kids, more than three-fourth, suffered from neglect. Almost 18% from physical abuse, close to 10% were sexually abused and 7.6% suffered from psychological maltreatement."
Will stopped and then continued with a catch in his voice. „Luckily the numbers for sexual and physical abuse are on a downward trend since the 1990s, but Mac, more than 1.700 children died from abuse and neglect last year. 80% of them were younger than four years old, just as 30% of all victims... Here, in the US, claiming to be the greatest country on earth... How can we let this happen?"

Will's voice almost broke at the end, and Mac knew that he was not only thinking about these poor children but also about his siblings and himself. He wasn't looking at her, so she simply moved her chair a little closer and put her arm on his back, slowly rubbing soothing circles over his sweater. „Oh, Billy..."

She wasn't convinced that it was the right thing for Will to delve into this subject all alone, but she knew it was important to him and wasn't about to ask him to stop. But she could make sure that he had support if needed. „Will, are you... Are you still seeing your psychiatrist?"

Though confused about this seemingly irrelevant question he nodded. „Why?"

„I think you shouldn't tackle this without his help; you need somebody to talk to... It might be that your past comes up to haunt you, whether you like it or not..."

Will didn't answer at first but then he bowed his head. „Yeah..."

For a while neither of them said anything. Mac had rightly noticed that Will's last word had sounded a little defeated, and she knew, that he had never really dealt with the abuse he had suffered from his father. Yes, he had regularly gone to a psychiatrist when they had been together before, but as he had admitted himself back then, it had never come to a real breakthrough. After a moment she tentatively decided to dig a little deeper.

„Say... Did you ever think about talking to your father? And that you will maybe regret it one day if you don't?"

„There is nothing we need to talk about. There is no way he can justify what he did to us." Will's voice was harsh and determined, not allowing any room for the possibility that he would ever change his mind. Already during their relationship Mac had unsuccessfully tried to get him to make up with John McAvoy, and she knew it was like tilting at windmills, but still, she wasn't ready to give up.

„He is your father, Will."

„How do you...? Look at what he did to you, a total stranger. He hasn't changed a fucking bit, he is a drunken bastard and always will be. Are you seriously asking me to forgive him? Because if you did, I wouldn't understand why..." He looked at her disbelievingly.

Mac shrugged and stared at the table in front of her, but quietly said „Maybe... maybe it's because I know how it feels not to be forgiven..."

For a moment they both remained quiet, then Will murmered „Mac..."

She shook her head, angry with herself for bringing their personal problems into this. „I'm sorry... I just...I didn't mean to... Fuck, let me just get some air." She got up and walked out onto the terrace, leaving a confused Will behind.

Finally, after several minutes, he managed to move and slowy followed her outside.
Mac was leaning against the balustrade, looking over to the statue of liberty, and Will could see in her face that she was beating herself up. Strangely enough he didn't like that thought, so he walked up to stand next to her, leaving a little space between them.

Clearing his throat first he spoke. „I thought we are friends, aren't we?"

After a moment of hesitation Mac nodded and answered, barely audible for Will. „Yes, for my part I consider you to be a friend. My best friend actually..."

Holding his breath for a moment he closed his eyes, but then smiled. „Me, too..."
When Mac looked up at these words and carefully returned his smile he continued. „And I don't think that friends need to forgive each other..."

Now it was her turn to gasp and her head whipped round to look at him, but then she quickly turned her eyes back at the city. Will had noticed a suspicious shimmer in the corner of her eye, though, but he decided not to mention it. Then he felt more than heard Mac releasing a deep sigh. „Do you... Do you think that maybe one day we can be more than friends again?"

There it was, a question that Will had asked himself so many times since she had come back to ACN, but especially during the last weeks since they had gotten closer again. And suddenly this question didn't seem to be so difficult to answer anymore. „Yeah, I do..."

Will was serious about what he had just said and was aware what it meant to Mac, who seemed to have frozen at his reply, but still this was getting too close to something he wasn't ready to face just yet, so after a moment of silence he decided to change the conversation back to their previous topic.

„There is a difference, Mac, between you and my father... He doesn't want forgiveness; he doesn't think he ever did anything wrong.."

Mac recognized his attempt to change the subject and indulged him, realizing that their relationship was like navigating through a labyrinth, where every step and change of direction had to be carefully considered to not get on a wrong path or worse, encounter a dead end.

„Of course, you're right... And I know that it's not my place to tell you what to do; only you can decide on how to deal with your father. Just... Please think about it carefully, I don't want you to regret it one day..."

Slowly nodding Will put his hand on her arm. „I will... But for now let's get back to work."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Over the next weeks Will and Mac kept working on the coverage of child abuse and slowly they got even closer.

During their meetings Will opened up more about his past and told her more than she already knew. He let her in on different moments where his father had beaten his sisters, his brother and him, and Mac was always there for him to listen and provide comfort in the little ways she could.

Then one Saturday afternoon, when Mac was just about to go home, Will held her back before she could step on the elevator. With a questioning look she turned around, but when she saw the look in his eyes she went completely still.

Carefully Will took her hand and entangled their fingers. „Mac... I... I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your help on this... It really means a lot to me."

Smiling she squeezed his fingers. „I'm glad to be here, Will. I'll see you tomorrow."

Trying to get on the elevator she was stopped again by him not letting go of her hand. He swallowed hard before finally speaking once more. „MacKenzie... You know I love you, don't you?"

Tears shot into her eyes, but after a short moment of shock she smiled at him nonetheless. „I do... And I love you, too..."

„Mac..." He breathed her name in relief and pulled her closer to take her into his arms. His eyes roamed over her face, taking in the bright sparkle in her eyes, the wide smile and the sudden blush in her cheeks. Returning her smile they simply looked at each other for while, contemplating what this moment meant for them, before Will finally put his arms around her waist and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

„You did well today, Billy, really well..."
Mac had followed Will who had walked straight to his little bar to gulp down a drink and then fell down onto the couch, let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

Standing in front of him she thought back to the day they'd had. They had gone to a shelter for abused mothers and children who had escaped the mistreatment from their spouses and fathers. Several women, some bringing their children, had agreed to talk to Will about their experiences after being guarantueed anonymity and given the promise that no full names and whereabouts would be mentioned.

Will had spent many days working out the questions he would ask beforehand, accompanied and counseled by two specialised psychiatrists, and today had been particularly rough for him. Especially meeting Alex, a little boy of five years, who had repeatedly been beaten so badly by his father that he had been in need of hospital treatment, concussions and broken bones being only some of the injuries he had suffered, had shaken him to his core.

Mac had been with Will the whole time, and she had seen that his façade started to wear thin in the course of the day, and that he had been close to breaking down. Now he was beat and raw emotions were running threw him. After a moment she sat down on the coffee table in front of him, put one of his feet in her lap and took off his shoe and sock. Repeating this with his other foot she then moved onto the couch, snuggling against his chest and putting her hand on his cheek. „You did really good."

Lifting his arm around her shoulder and running his fingers through her hair, an action that had always managed to calm him down, he hummed tiredly. „You don't think it was a bad idea after all? That it brought back too many painful memories for the kids?"

„No, you did fine, just right. You have been compassionate, not too serious, and most importantly you didn't make them feel as if they did anything wrong. And you know that Dr. Collins would have intervened if she'd had the impression it was too much for them."

„Yeah..." Will sighed. „This little boy, Alex... He really got to me, you know? I mean, all of them did, but especially him..."

„I know, Honey..." Mac let her hand glide down to his chest. „He reminded you of yourself, that was very obvious..."

„Yeah..." Repeating himself he covered her hand with his own as if to pull strength out of the touch. „Our father has done terrible things to us, but what this little guy has gone through... I just wish I could help him..."

After a moment of silence Mac moved a little and looked up at his face. „Why don't you?"

Frowning Will opened his eyes to meet her gaze. „What do you mean? How would I be able to help him except through raising awareness?"

„Exactly. You can alert the public to the problem of child abuse. You can throw light on what so many children have to live through and you can do even more. You can initiate programmes to recognize and fight abuse, and you can help children to find their way back and forget. Billy, why don't you start a foundation? The Will McAvoy Foundation Against Child Abuse, the WMFCA."

Will couldn't help but stare at Mac, his eyes big and he himself at a loss of words, until he finally recovered. „Mac... That is.. It's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?"

„Well, sometimes you miss the forest for the trees, so luckily I'm here for that." She winked but then she was distracted by the hard kiss he pressed to her lips.

„Luck indeed. God, I love you, Mac!"


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All numbers and statistics are taken from the

Children Maltreatment Report 2009 of the US Department of Health & Human Services (remove empty spaces from link below):

www. acf. hhs. gov/ sites/ default/ files/ cb/ cm2009. pdf