Session two.
"Nico! We need to talk about this!"
"Fine! Talk!"
Coming in she sat on the closed toilet, this was a common practice with us. One would bitch while the other was in the shower. That way we could talk without having to plainly look at the other, that and I felt safe physically with Reyna as I do with most women. Men on the other hand…..yeah well that's what sucks most about this, I've wished so hard since the attack to be able to be attracted to women, alas that has failed.
"Well talk bitch, explain why you outed me! Why you told him about my assault! How much did you tell him!"
"I just told him that you were a virgin when you were attacked and haven't been able to have sex since."
"That wasn't sex!"
"No its not sex, I'm not saying that the attack was sex I'm just saying that ….Damn it Nico you know what I'm trying to say, how long have we known each other!"
"I do know what you are trying to stay, but you had no right to talk about that with him Reyna that was for me to tell him."
"Would you have told him?"
"He is a doctor, so yes I would have told him."
"Ok I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, so how did the session go?"
"It went fine, I'm deciding by tomorrow if I want to see him for his ten-session thing."
"Did you sleep with him? I heard his talk on his type of therapy."
"I did not sleep with him, but we did have a sort of breakthrough I guess."
"What was the break through?"
"I can't say it out loud, just look at my boxers and put the clues together."
I heard her pick the clothes up while I soaped up my body, I heard her suck in a deep breath. Reyna was a smart person, I wouldn't need to do a play by play for her.
"So, you came in your pants?"
"I did."
"Did it trigger you?"
"No, he put himself in a position where he couldn't touch me."
"Are you ok now?"
"Weirdly yes, I'm only showering because I was sweating and the obvious reason in your hands. I don't feel… dirty. I really thought I would. I'm almost mad at myself because I don't feel triggered or bad about it. Is that weird? Feeling bad for not feeling bad?"
"No, that's a thing. Its not weird. I am happy you are not triggered. I hope you do go back and see him, I think he can really help you."
"I'm thinking strongly on it."
***timebreak***
I spent the rest of the night thinking about what happened. Even going as far to touch myself to the memory twice before I went to bed. I of course felt guiltier about that than the actual interaction which is super confusing, ill need to talk to him about that. Huh? I guess I'm seeing him again. The thought is comforting, and I look forward to seeing Will.
The next morning, I text Will and tell him I wanted to continue our therapy, he texted back quickly to let me know which time this week we could met up and that he had a cancelation today at 5. I took it. I found that I had a bounce in my step as I went back to his office/ apartment. A note was taped to the door that said just to come in that he was napping and to wake him up, to be fair he had cameras in the hallways, but it still was a little unnerving that he was so open to let someone outside his door know that the door was unlocked and he was in a vulnerable state. Walking in I found him on a couch in the corner nook of the apartment. Will looked so cute, peaceful. I saw a TV was on across from him and he was watching Netflix and Spam watching some detective show. I tried to wake him by touching his shoulder.
Peeking through his heavy lids he motioned for me to join him. I hesitated and froze a bit. Part of me really wanted to but I could bring myself to do it. Eyes still closed he grabbed for my hand pulled me over. Waking slightly, he readjusted himself so that he was Laying on his back. Wearing basketball shorts and a white tank top he is looking so relaxed, Will wasn't the wear super tight show off his body type clothes. I closed my eyes and moved my feet toward him as he held my hand and I straddled his hips like I did the day before. The only differences are that he had his clothes on and not handcuffed. I settled down to put my head on his chest, eyes still closed and terrified of being triggered.
"I'm going to place my hands on your lower back." He said sleepily.
As he reached up and did it I braced for the contact. No trigger came. I opened my eyes and watched the show. Every time he moved his hands he would pre-warn me, and I knew exactly where his hands were going to go. It was such a comfort to feel this without worry, to be held by someone and have their fingers run through your hair without feeling like your skin is crawling. It was a chorus of every ten minutes I would hear…
"I'm moving my right hand to your hip."
"I am going to dance my fingertips along your spine."
"I'm going to kiss the top of your head."
I loved it. Eventually we ended up kissing on the couch, when he couldn't tell me where his hands where going he would just grab the couch. Things were getting hot and heavy quick, my carnal attraction to him was overwhelming and from the tent in his pants it seemed that he felt the same way. We didn't even know each other that well but the attraction to one another was undeniable. Hearts beating fast and sweat pooling across our bodies. I wasn't nervous like yesterday, his dialogue kept me at ease about his touches. Will knew how to make you feel sexy and safe. I wanted to touch him, had to.
"W-will, can I touch you?"
"Sure, how do you want to touch me?"
"I want to touch you touch you, with my hands." I breathed into a long slow kiss.
"Go at your own pace Nico, whatever you want to do. "
I couldn't look at him, but I reached under his waist band. The length I felt in my hand was big and heavy and so fucking hard. I began to stroke him as I did myself. I had never touched another man like this and the reeling feeling running through me was intoxicating.
"Nico, Nico can I touch you?"
"How?"
"Can I run my hands up your back and under your shirt?"
I thought for a split second but nodded at him. Will had made sure to show me that I could trust that his hands don't go anywhere he hasn't told me. I felt overly soft fingers reach up my shirt and the first thing I thought was that Wills hands didn't feel masculine, I liked that. Kept me from feeling super triggered. Sure, I had a weird mix of Trigger and Lust running inside me as he writhed beneath me. One of my hands wound tightly in his hair and mouths still constantly connected as we touched. The build in my stomach from last time was happening again, I was ready this time.
"Will, I'm close."
"Me to, if you don't want to feel my cum on you move your hand now."
I immediately pulled my hand off him and plunged in straight into my own only bothering to unbutton the top. Copying me he dove for himself without thought, forehead to forehead we moaned and came together without exposure. After we released we kind of just melted into each other. It was hard to imagine that he did this with other people. Every experience we had seemed so genuine. I knew I couldn't ask him about it, if I did all I would be able to do is obsess on it. Its nice to pretend that this is an us thing, its also nice to know that this is limited. Only eight more times after this, instead of wondering when this will end, I know when it will. It made me cherish the time we did have and not fear that it would end to early. I could enjoy this time together without fear of him rejecting me.
Sitting up slightly we pulled our hands from our pants and I found myself collapse against him, the slight stiffening and then relaxing of his chest made me realize he didn't expect me to do that. My head sat right under his chin comfortably. Still coming down he gave me a slight warning that he was going to wrap his arms around me by just saying the word "hips" and settling his hands there. I loved it.
"Are you ok? Do you need anything?"
"I'm ok, just coming down."
"Nico, you are beautiful."
Surprised at his words I pulled me head up to look at him in the eyes.
"I'm not…"
"Yes, you are." And he pecked me on the lips to shut me up.
"Do you like that we do this?"
"Are you asking if I find you attractive?"
"Yes."
"You are probably the most attractive patient I've ever helped, I shouldn't say that, but I don't want to lie to you to take away from my compliment, it was a real compliment."
"See but how am I supposed to know that it's not a line?"
Looking down at my hands he took one of his off my hip and grabbed one of my hands, looking at the hand he reached for I noticed a small glob of arousal was on my index finger. Without breaking eye contact he brought my finger to his lips and slipped it into his mouth. The encompassing heat surrounded my finger as his tongue licked and swirled around the digit and sucking the white liquid off it.
FUCK!
"You taste sweet."
This guy was going to be the end of me, how was he going to top this with session three?
