I will start the real story at a part where you can understand who my friends are, or were, and where I stand as far as personality and luck. It was one of the coldest Konoha winters. The wind made my cheeks pink and they felt as if they were gnawed off by a mad dog with rabies… okay maybe they didn't hurt that much… but they stung.

A buttery smell filled the air and hit me kindly as I opened the glass doors to the movie theater. I took a deep breath through my nostrils of sweet warm air and I closed my eyes to enhance the sensation. Ahh… butter popcorn… The lights were bright although the colors of the theater were dull and boring. I held the door open for my friends who were shivering in their coats. When the stepped inside they had the same reaction as I did when I first walked in. I had four friends with me-- and two others who were dating two of my friends.

That day was a rare day because my friends had the day off. In fact, ALL ninja's had the day off that day. My work day, however, ended about 4:37 pm, about an hour and a half before. We looked at the list of movies that was posted on the wall to our right, we started pointing to one title then another. We had decided that we were defiantly going to a horror film, although they weren't, and aren't, my favorite genre of movie and I wasn't looking very forward to it-- but I decided to give it a chance. We walked up to the booth and Arisu paid for her ticket first, fallowed by her boyfriend, Tadao. I came next.

"Hello, I'm with them." I said while tilting my head toward Arisu and Tadao who were walking towards the concession stand together. Arisu's boots and Tadao's shoes were tossing snow off as they walked and the janitor cursed under his breath as he struggled to keep the place clean with nothing but a broom and a sweep. I looked at Arisu and Tadao's hands and wished that they were holding each others hands at that moment. "And them." I turned around towards the rest of my friends who were still rubbing their own arms together to get heat in their coats.

"Okay… one more for--" she said, naming the movie.

"Yeah." I said and slightly nodded my head. I paid the fee and the lady working at the booth gave me my ticket and change back.

I turned backwards again, mostly turned to Ima but my eyes were looking at who she was talking to. Another one of my friends who I didn't know very well, but I knew that I was fond of him. His name is Enamaru. He was chuckling at what Ima said and each time it melted my heart just a little bit more. I was trying to think of something I could say to them both and would be able to get a response from him. Honestly I didn't have any idea what they were talking about, and just when I understood what they were talking about my train of thought was interrupted.

"Um, Miss?" The booth lady said. I turned around again and asked her what she needed.

"The other customers need to use the booth…" She said. I had forgotten to move away and was holding up an extremely long line. My face flushed red as I saw people in the line glaring at me and tapping their foot. How long had I been staring at Enamaru? I grabbed my purse that was on the booth and moved over as fast as I could… which wasn't very fast.

As I walked away aware of how many people thought I was a stupid ditz Ima, Enamaru, Miyah and her boyfriend Isao paid for their tickets.

"More." I heard Arisu say to the man working at concessions.

"Is this enough yet…?!" He looked exhausted as he rubbed the upper section of his right arm. "You've got loads of butter already." Arisu shook her head and Tadao was stooped down looking through the glass that showed what candies were available. I grew a large and (purposefully) creepy smile and fast-walked up behind Arisu and put my head on her shoulder from behind and spoke in a deep, devil-ish voice. "BOO." I said loudly directly in her right ear, and as I expected it didn't even make her jump.

"Leik ohmigawd!!" She said imitating the voice of a stereotypical cheerleader. I straightened out, bringing my head back up as she turned around and I saw that she had a hysterical expression on her face! Her eyes were crossed and her lips like she was saying a deep 'O' sound. I laughed at it and she laughed too.

"How about this?" The concession man asked Arisu again after adding more melted butter from the butter pump. Without even turning around Arisu told him to add more. He did a combination of a sigh and scoff as he set the huge bucket of popcorn underneath the butter pump.

Arisu was a chunin back in those days when we were both 15 years old.

"I haven't been to a movie in fuckin' forever!" Arisu smiled. Tadao was still searching through the snacks.

"I can tell!" I said in response, "You seem to be getting a little butter happy."

"What 'chu talkin' bout Willis?!" She joked and I laughed. "Aw, you know me, I just loves my byuttuh!" Nearly every second we were joking with each other with lines from funny shows, strange voices, strange faces, or obviously fake emotions… actually, that's how it is with all of my good friends.

"Butt sex!!" I heard Miyah yell behind me, she was probably joking around with Ima or Enamaru. Miyah was my age and was a chunin at that time. Her black hair was thin and messy-- I thought it was amazing! She and her boyfriend Isao had a deep affection for each other and I loved to see them together! Although I was a tad jealous that she had someone to call her own, it wasn't the mad kind of jealousy. She had known Ima and Enamaru long before we met. I was introduced to Miyah through Ima, who I have been a friend of for quite some time, and through Ima I was introduced to Enamaru as well.

I started to laugh at Miyah's random impulse and decided to get a snack for the movie. I bought some of the chocolate malts that I love oh-so-much and nearly consumed the entire box when I paid for it (not really, though).

"Oh, by the way…" Arisu said half whispering. She paused for a second or two and called Miyah over.

"Yeah?" Miyah asked as we all huddled together like in a football game.

"You know the plan, riiiight?" Arisu asked the two of us with a smug smile painted on her face. I tilted my head in confusion and Miyah nodded hers. Plan? I didn't know of any plan! We had already decided which movie to go to…

"What plan??" I finally asked. Arisu asked Miyah if she had told me about this so called "plan" like how she apparently told Miyah to do, and Miyah inhaled through her teeth and shook her head.

"Slipped my mind, I guess…!"

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKIN', WOMAN?!" Arisu quietly shouted as she grabbed Miyah by the shoulders and shook her jokingly. "Okay, tell her now!"

"We've been trying to--"

"Hey what are you guys meeting about?!" Ima laughed behind Miyah. I turned my head toward Ima but didn't see Enamaru. I stood up a little more and saw him adding more seasonings to his medium sized bucket of popcorn with Isao.

"Ohh, you know… stuff…" Miyah said, "You know… concerning you and…" she tilted her head toward Enamaru. What? I thought to myself, Ima and… Enamaru…?! I looked at Ima and saw her smiling. She told us that she didn't mind of Miyah helped with this, because she was also good friends with Enamaru while Arisu and I didn't. I didn't need a brain then to know what was going on… I finally accepted the fact that they liked eachother. I guess I always knew what they felt for each other deep inside, but I tried to convince myself that they were just good friends. I started to feel my heart sink. This feeling wasn't new, in fact, I've probably faced this feeling a million times and yet I never got used to it. I was becoming heartbroken.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter one:

For the greater good, let him go.

"It's better to have had love and lost love, than to never have loved at all."

-William Shakespeare

Chapter theme song: "Hallelujah" By Rufus Weighnright

And

"You found me" by The Fray

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Oh my god!" Miyah gasped loudly as we sat in the movie theater, "It's so… so…!!!"

"Buttery!" Arisu said as she set the large bucket of popcorn back in her own lap. Miyah silently gagged as she scratched her tongue with her fingernails to get the taste off.

"You don't like butter?!" Arisu asked Miyah as if she was a crazy person.

"I just don't like STRAIGHT butter!"

We talked a lot during the movie, but I couldn't concentrate. All I could think of was my unrequited love. It could have been worse, I guess. I could have told someone how I felt about him and then my friendship with Ima would be ruined, or I would have been rejected and left even more broken hearted than I was now. I looked over at Ima, who seemed to be completely taken over by the movie, and Enamaru, who seemed to be just as into it. I slouched in my seat as I tried to hold down the choke I felt in my throat. I had read about these types of situations, but I never read about the solution.

I looked back at the movie screen and there was a very pale boy in a torn suit standing at the end of a staircase staring at the main character. I still found no interest in the movie and looked up in the ceiling. The movie went for about two and a half hours and my friends and I got loud enough that some people started throwing some gum drops at us.

When the movie was finished we walked outside. I was shivering in my coat and trying to adjust my scarf to cover my face more. Everyone but me had someone to hold at the moment, but two of them were too worried that it'd be going too fast. I never got to hear about the "plan", so it would have to go on without me. I was walking slower than the others and Arisu noticed. She turned around as we walked on a sidewalk covered with compact snow stained with sand and dirt.

"Hey!" Arisu said, "What's up?" I tried to act normal but the fact that Ima and Enamaru liked each other was still bringing me down. "Why are you so slow today?" She asked again.

"Uhh, I'm just real sleepy right now…" I replied, "So I'm not sure if I'll be able to make the night-over."

"What?" Arisu said, "That's weird, are you sure? I'm sure that you could just lay down once we get to Miyah's place!" The others looked at Arisu and then at me.

"Huh?" Ima asked, "You're not coming?" I told them that I was tired and feeling kind of sick and I didn't want them to catch anything. Arisu walked over to me and started walking my pace and said quietly: "You know we can't do the plan without you right now!" I was silent for a while, trying to alert Arisu with my eyes the situation. She didn't catch it.

"……no, not today… really, I don't want you guy's to get this…" I forced a caugh, but it only made the choking I was forcing down my throat worse. I felt my chin get tighter and my nose start to hurt.

"Hey guys!" Arisu called to the others, "Tomi isn't feeling up to the overnighter, so I'm gonna walk her home. I'll catch up with you guys later."

The walk to my place was longer than it would be to Miyah's apartment, but I guess that just made it easier to come clean. Arisu and I were very close, almost like sisters. I was sure that if I told her that she wouldn't on her life tell anyone else, especially not Ima or Enamaru. I guess I didn't have to be the one to start the conversation. She asked me: "So what's really the deal? You look more sad than sick. Did something happen?" I looked over at her and shrugged my shoulders.

"Yes and no…" I said, "……If I tell you…… will you promise not to tell anyone? Ever?" Arisu nodded her head with wider eyes and said that she promised. I said: "Okay… so… well… I guess I didn't accept that Ima and Enamaru… you know, liked each other till now…" Arisu slowly nodded her head.

"And?" She asked.

"Well… I guess that I was also starting to fall for Enamaru… I used to think that he liked me too… I thought that whenever he'd look over he was looking at me. I guess all this time it was Ima." My shoulders were starting to shake. "And…and I was really happy… I thought to myself at night: 'It might be my turn now!' and I truly thought it was!"

The lump in my throat was getting worse and it was making it extremely difficult to confess. My eyes started to water over and I wiped under my eyes hoping that my eye liner wasn't coming down. "I was starting to fall in love again! He was everything I wanted in a guy…! I remember when I barely knew him… I was waiting for Ima and Miyah to meet with me somewhere and Enamaru was there… I wanted him to say 'I'll keep you company!' when I said 'I'm so lonely!' so I said it in a fake complain-y voice… and he said it! He said 'I'll keep you company!' he always said what I wanted him to say at the right times…! He doesn't care about what other people think about him and he's so nice… he's… he's…!"

I had already broken down in tears as Arisu hugged me and I laid my head on her shoulder, "Then I heard about Ima and Enamaru… I couldn't stand being in the same room anymore! It's like a de ja vu! I've gone through this before-- only… only the guy I've fallen in love with before wasn't as amazing as Enamaru!" I wasn't sure what Arisu's reaction was, but I could feel her rubbing her hand up and down on my back trying to comfort me. "I don't know what to do! I'm falling in love with him, but he liked Ima and Ima's my friend!!"

"It'll be okay…" Arisu said as I continued to cry. We were still outside but closer to my place now. She repeated herself by saying: "It'll be okay…"

By the time we got to my place my eye liner had drooped big time, my shoulder still jerked at random times and I gave random whimpers. I thought that even heaven would be crying for me at that moment. Arisu assured me that she wouldn't tell anyone about my situation and that she's glad that I told her. Then she apologized for telling me about them in the first place.

"If I would have known… I guess…" We stood there, me in the door way, for a few seconds as snow continued to fall and make the dirt stained snow disappear. She hugged me one more time and I hugged her back as tight as I could. "I'll see ya…" Arisu said, "I'm sure things will work out, Tomi." I sighed as I let her go and waved good-bye as she walked off to Miyah's house. She never spoke a word about it.

I cried while putting on my pajamas, taking off my make up and contacts, brushing my teeth and falling asleep. The people I lived with, that I wouldn't necessarily call family since I'm not related to them at all, weren't home. They were either out until the next day or on a mission. I could cry as loud as I wanted and throw as many soft objects like pillows as I wanted. Eventually after releasing as much stress as I could I fell on my knees, burring my face in my hands and sobbed. Later that night, as I laid in bed with stinging eyes, I wondered what I really should do about this. I had cried all the tears I needed too and I had gone through most of the seven stages of grief.

I had wondered of this really was true. I hadn't heard from Enamaru if he really had liked her. I felt as if I was a horrible friend to Ima, liking the boy she liked as well. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and this took place when I prepared myself for bed. This was the throwing soft objects around. I was mad at myself that I let this happen again. I was too nice inside and out to blame anyone else, and I asked god that, if was really there, if this was all worth it and if he would give me just a little love luck. I don't have to explain the feeling of depression for you. I remembered all the times that I thought before as signs that he liked me. I don't have to explain the loneliness to you either.

Soon enough I had started to calm down. I was taking deep breathes and sitting against the side of my bed. I looked up to the ceiling and recited what Arisu had said. It would be okay. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath in and out and realized that I would have to overcome my feelings for Enamaru. I smiled as I wiped a falling tear off of my cheek. I'd have to be the best friend I could to both Ima and Enamaru… I'd have to do what was best for both of them. I chuckled as I thought of trying to get them to overcome their fear of asking each other out and I liked it. I realized that if I couldn't feel the love of someone special, I could feel the next best thing.

I could feel the feeling of knowing that someone is loved because of me.

If you are wondering, no. Enamaru is not the one I mentioned in the introduction. The one that would "open my eyes to the world.". This experience had helped me become a little wiser and more confident, but it was not the experience of my eyes opening. It was coming. And soon.