Chapter 2 – D-Minus 13 Hours
"One thing is necessary: to journey to wells." – Johannes Edfelt
"White Star 7 to Minbari Flyer. What is your status?"
"Minbari Flyer to White Star… as reported on my initial transmission, I seem to have had a malfunction with one of my main engines. I am unable to make jumps. Automatic navigation systems are down as well; I can only navigate manually."
There was a long pause. Then, "Stand by for grapple. We will bring you aboard and make repairs in our docking bay."
"Confirmed, White Star Seven. Awaiting grapple."
Delenn sighed and slipped out of meditation for a moment. She had gotten her hopes up when Lennier had contacted her; she shouldn't have. She closed her eyes again, her mind and emotions awash with memories of the last few days.
"The crew will attend to your ship. With the proper materials, it should be a simple repair. Meanwhile, I would like to talk to you, Lennier."
His eyes remained downcast as she handed him a cup of tea and the two sat down in her quarters. "You are… well, I trust?" He asked. She didn't miss it as he took a quick note of her expanded middle.
"I have not slept well in two months. My ankles have swelled so that they no longer fit in my shoes. My skin has stretched to a degree I did not think possible to accommodate a mostly human child who may not be accepted by our people. And four weeks ago, my physician ordered that I was not to travel until I give birth. But… I am happy. I am loved."
Lennier nodded then, studying his tea. "You have disobeyed your doctor's orders to rescue me, then."
"I know that you would do the same for me, old friend."
"I do not know that that will ever be necessary." Lennier still had not lifted his eyes to meet hers. She reached out and forced him to raise his chin, and the look in his eyes broke her heart. So much guilt; so much sadness; and behind it all, veiled deep affection. "You have… someone else now."
"Lennier. When I married John, I did not cease to have a need for friends. Come home with me. Come back to Minbar, back to the Anla'shok."
"I am afraid that I cannot be what you want me to be."
A tear escaped her right eye, again breaking her meditative state. She had turned away from him then, because in what he had said was the screaming silence of what was not said: Lennier still loved her. He was sorry for his actions, for what he had nearly allowed to happen to John, but he could not move past his feelings enough to promise that, given another opportunity, he would not do the exact same thing.
She gave up on meditation and instead reached for the last se n'kai fruit on the plate next to her chair and bit into it slowly. Red juice trickled down her chin and she wiped it away with her empty left hand as the fruit dissolved on her tongue. Different memories came forward with the sweet nectar taste… she had first shared this fruit with John on their wedding night, on board the White Star as they made the trek from Earth back to Babylon 5, to begin their new life as a married couple and as the figureheads of the newly formed Interstellar Alliance. They had taken turns feeding each other the small round fruit, laughing and smiling and then licking the juice off of one another… tentatively at first, off of chins and cheeks and fingers… until he had sucked one of her fingers deep into his mouth and caressed it with his tongue, and then they were licking where there was no juice, or deliberately squeezing drops of it onto other, more intimate body parts… he had fed her one final fruit, following it up with a passionate kiss as he took her hand in his, moved his body over hers… and then the fruit had no longer mattered.
The se n'kai was a ceremonial fruit, which was why it had been present in their quarters that night, but she had developed a craving for it early in her pregnancy, and that was no doubt the reason it was on this ship, for this voyage. She had tried to share them with Lennier, to get some native Minbari food in him at least, before he headed off to the stars again… and he had refused.
"The se n'kai is a major part of the Nafak'Cha," he said as he moved a hand to stop her, seeming to want to physically put more distance between himself and the small red spheres. "And the Nafak'Cha doubles as a commitment ceremony. I cannot eat this fruit with you, Delenn… as much as I… would very much like to."
"Without the proper prayers and meditation to complete the ceremony, it is just fruit, Lennier," she reasoned.
He shook his head at her. "If it is all the same to you, I will seek out a meal with Ranger Lathann. Besides, you… should rest." He bowed respects to her as he exited her quarters, his familiar small, sad smile ever-present on his lips, and Delenn's heart cried for their dying friendship.
Now she finished off the last of the fruit and gave a long, exhausted stretch. "Your father has asked me to rest," she spoke into the near-darkness of her quarters. She again caressed her belly as her son continued his acrobatics inside her. "But you do not seem interested in rest, and I think that I am afraid of what awaits me in my dreams. So… I will talk to you. I will talk, until either you or I fall asleep… and then… if you fall asleep first… I think I may simply talk some more." She sighed. "I want to tell you a story about this voyage, and why it was necessary. I want to tell you what happened with Lennier… and why, despite what happened on board this ship, I still miss him so very, very much." And as she began her tale in a voice meant to calm them both, she tried to ignore the pains that rippled through her abdomen which she could no longer dismiss as simple punches and kicks.
Night had fallen on Minbar, but John – who had come home just three hours ago, exhausted to the point of passing out – couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on the inclined bed, kicking off the covers only to reach for them a minute later. He knew Delenn was a strong and capable woman; it was one of the first things he'd fallen in love with about her. Everything she did, she did with fire and passion… but he sometimes wondered if she considered the risks she took.
Do you?
It was a tiny, nagging voice in the back of his mind, but try as he might, he could not push it away. Do you consider the risks? He'd done the math; Delenn had been pregnant – newly so, and delicately so – when he had sent her and Lennier on the mission to ask the Grey Council for more White Stars, more ships for Interstellar Alliance use. They had both nearly died in hyperspace on that mission after being fired upon by Centauri warships. Yes, I considered the risks, he told himself. And I told her up front it was dangerous, and I didn't want to have to ask her to do it, but she was the only one who could…besides, I didn't know. I didn't know, God help me I didn't know, and if I had… I would've gone on that mission myself.
He ran a hand over her empty pillow. "I miss you," he sighed into the darkness. Then he pushed himself up off the bed and walked into the adjacent living area. He pushed a button on the recording device that had become a permanent fixture on their coffee table. "Begin recording," he said softly. He took a moment to compose his thoughts before continuing. "You're going to be born very soon," he said at last. "I have to admit… I'm scared. Your mother has taken a ship out to rescue someone who… someone whose jealousy nearly cost me my life."
"Lennier, hit the access panel. Lennier? Lennier!"
He swallowed rising anger at the memory flash. "And… if I know your mother, she's talking to you right now in her belly, telling you all the reasons she had to go. Well. Here's the God's honest truth: She's right. She is right more times than she is wrong, and it drives me crazy, but… you'll learn a lot from her. And what you and I both need to learn from this is… well, a couple of things, actually." He had been pacing around the room, but now he sat back on the couch, hands pushing down on his knees as he did so. "First, forgiveness. It's something I'm not great at. I can hold a grudge until the end of time if I'm of the mind to do so. But… your mother… has a capacity for forgiveness that I'm not sure I'll ever understand. I want to teach you so many things, but one thing I don't want you to learn from me is how to hold a grudge. I want you to look to your mother instead, and learn a depth of forgiveness that is beyond human." He paused and scratched at his goatee. "Second… is the capacity to love. I love you. I love your mother. And your mother loves you, and she loves me… but she also loves Lennier. She'll never say it in quite that way, but… she does. Not in the same way she loves me… closer, probably, to the way she loves you. The thing about that, though, is… as I'm discovering… the love between mother and child trumps every other kind of love there is. And that's why I'm not angry with her; that's why I understand, although I hate to admit it, that she had to go out on this mission." John sighed, trying to decide what to say next. "Well. One thing is for certain: You will be a beneficiary of that kind of love from both of us. You already are." He smiled and switched off the recorder just as the Com unit in their family room began to buzz.
John looked at his watch and frowned. It wasn't the middle of the night, but it was late just the same. He padded through the darkness to stand closer to the monitor. "Receive."
"Mr. President."
John's frown deepened. "Ranger Lathann? Is… everything all right?"
The young Ranger looked away. "In calling you, I am breaking a promise to Entil'zha Delenn. But… you should know, Mr. President. I think… I think the baby… is coming now."
