Disclaimer; I don't own Dragon Age.
Cold Comfort.2
Hawke tells herself that it'll be okay.
She does it because she has to, because she can't let Bethany die for this, because as much as she hates everything, as much as she hates the Circle and Anders and Orsino and herself, this isn't their fault, and she'll get through this, and she'll wake up in the morning and everything will be okay, because it has to be.
She crosses her arms over her chest, holding it together. She can't fall apart. Can't let them see her cry. She can't hurt them, can't punish them all for the actions of one.
She takes a deep breath, looks up. The world doesn't care, she reminds herself. It will carry on with or without her, with or without any of them. Life goes on, she tells herself. Fenris wouldn't want this. Bethany doesn't want this. Varric. Sebastian. Aveline and Isabela and Merrill. She cannot collapse, because they don't want that, they don't deserve that, they don't know how to help her once she starts.
She holds her breath. One, two, three. She can do this. She has to do this. For Bethany. For herself. For all the people she has to protect because she promised them she would. She has to protect her friends, the people she has left, because she has gotten them into this mess and she will not lose them like she lost Carver, like she lost Mother, like she lost Fenris. She will do this. She will not quit.
She looks down, watches the people around her. They all stand around her, keeping their distance, not really looking at her. She doesn't gulp, doesn't flinch, doesn't maintain eye contact. Maker she hates them. Sebastian and Isabela and Aveline and every mage in this prison, because they weren't there instead, because they let Fenris walk into that Chantry, let him -
She will protect them, because she has to. And because it's the only thing keeping her from burning the city down around her.
