"Ugh! I just don't get it, Alex! What am I doing wrong?" Kara asked frustratedly as she ran tired fingers through frazzled hair.

"Well, have you tried giving her the violets and lavender?" Alex asked, joining her despondent younger sister on the couch in their apartment. She had two tall glasses of beer with her and Kara took hers gratefully and took a big swig.

"Yes! And she said they were pretty!" Kara griped as the alcohol burned down her throat.

"Well, that's a step in the right direction," Alex tried to encourage, but Kara shot her a look.

"Alex, you and I both know that queer reference went right over her head," the blond snapped.

"Ok, true," Alex admitted. "But I don't see why you're so worked up over it," she added as she took a sip of her own beer.

"Why I'm so worked up over it?" Kara echoed in disbelief. "Alex, I've been in love with Lena for multiple years now and she is still no closer to understanding that than when she was all those years ago! How much longer do I have to wait, and how many more signs do I have to drop, before she finally gets the picture?" the Kryptonian gave another angry sigh before downing more of her beer.

"Guess you really got the classic Useless Lesbian, huh?" Alex asked, trying to force her amusement to turn into sympathy.

"For real," Kara grumbled bitterly. She adored Lena. She really did. But Lena was so painfully oblivious to Kara's feelings for her that it made Kara want to throw herself into the sun. How could Lena be so blind to Kara's affections? Even if Lena had lived a sheltered and lonely life as a child, even if she had never really been a part of the LGBT Community, how on Earth was Lena still missing all of Kara's hints!? Sure, some were a bit more obscure if you didn't know your queer history (like the violets and lavender), but come on! Kara did everything else she'd seen in human Rom-Com films like lip-biting, bedroom eyes, physical and public displays of affection, taking Lena out to eat, buying her gifts. What more did she have to do for Useless Lesbian Luthor to get a clue? Kara wasn't even being subtle anymore, and it wasn't an issue of whether or not Lena was up to date on queer culture. At this point, Lena was just-

"A useless lesbian, I'm telling you," Alex said.

"Yeah, kind of figured that one out already," Kara grumbled again. But then again, Kara reasoned, this was the same woman that had somehow not figured out that Kara was also Supergirl yet, even though the two were very similar and were never together at the same time and this woman in particular had very close ties with both. Lena may have been one of the smartest people alive, but she could be so dense sometimes! Taking into account all the times Lena should've figured out Kara's secret, yet somehow still didn't, made it a bit more believable for Kara that Lena would also somehow miss all of Kara's attempts at flirting. But that didn't make her feel better about any of it.

"I try so hard!" Kara continued to whine. "I've studied human customs and cultures when it comes to flirting and nothing works!"

"Well, to be fair, your idea of 'studying' involved watching rom-coms and surfing Tumblr and BuzzFeed," Alex reminded her younger sister.

"You're not helping," Kara pouted.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Alex replied with a shrug. "Wrap you up in your bisexual pride flag, mail you directly to Lena's house, and leave a note that says, 'I'm gay for you'?"

"To be honest, I wouldn't mind that idea," Kara replied after a moment of consideration. "Though Lena still probably wouldn't get it," she added with a resigned and defeated sigh. She took another long drink of her beer.

Alex, finally seeming to understand just how much this was bothering Kara, at last took a more sympathetic route than before.

"If you won't confront her directly, is there any way Supergirl could start dropping hints instead?" she suggested and Kara gave a half nod.

"I have considered it," she admitted. "But I really didn't want to make my alter ego into my wingman."

"Well, you have such a useless lesbian on your hands, do you think you really have much of a choice anymore?" Alex asked with a smirk.

"No," Kara replied, sighing again. "I guess the Girl of Steel is going to have to give Lena Luthor the love talk..."

"Oh, please don't phrase it like that," Alex interrupted. "That sounds way too weird for me!" then she shook her head, disgusted by the idea. Kara managed a laugh and Alex's disgust lessened. But only slightly.

The moment Kara found an excuse to have Lena meet up with Supergirl again, she put her plan into action.

"Kara Danvers seems fond of you," Supergirl observed off-handedly.

"Yes, and I am fond of her," Lena confessed, a new softness in her eyes as she said this. For a moment, Kara felt her heart leap into her chest. Maybe Lena had been picking up the signs all along, but was only remaining oblivious out of shyness. Maybe talking to Supergirl would finally shed some light on Lena's feelings for Kara, if Lena really was too shy to talk to Kara directly.

"We've been friends for years now," Lena continued, and all of Kara's hopes came crashing down again. "We met not long after I first moved to National City, and from the very beginning she's always had my back..."

Lena began to tell Supergirl about all the times Kara had proven a true ad loyal friend. Although the list was very long and affectionate, neither Supergirl nor Kara could quite get over how many times Lena managed to say "friend" in that one conversation.

"Yeah, she says you're pretty cool too," Supergirl continued once Lena finally finished speaking her piece about Kara. "We were hanging out recently and she said she was considering asking you out to dinner soon. Have you said anything yet?"

"Oh! She is? She hasn't asked me yet!" Lena replied, and Supergirl wilted again, having hoped that this question might've forced Lena into an answer, or at least have had Lena notice that Supergirl had used the phrase 'asking you out'. But no, Lena still wasn't giving an inch.

Supergirl sighed heavily before trying again. The next half hour or so passed in a similar manner, idle chatter being used to disguise the fact that Supergirl was still trying to gage whether or not Lena had any feelings for Kara, or was at least aware that Kara had feelings for her. The answer seemed to be "no" on all fronts. No matter what Supergirl said or hinted at, Lena always managed to give an ambiguous answer. It was maddening! But nothing Supergirl said or implied did anything to shed any light on any answers!

But when Supergirl finally excused herself from Lena's presence, she did not go without giving the Luthor a gift. A last-ditch effort.

"Oh! What is it?" Lena asked as she took the small box from Supergirl.

"You'll see," Supergirl replied, then she bade Lena a polite goodnight before flying out of the area faster than a speeding bullet. This left Lena alone to study the object Supergirl had given her. Oh! It was a necklace! How thoughtful! It made Lena feel so good to know that Supergirl trusted her enough to offer her this symbol of their alliance. No, their friendship. Lena looked up into the sky and even though Supergirl was long out of Lena's line of sight, Lena smiled upward anyway, silently thanking the Girl of Steel for her gift of peace.

"Which she still doesn't seem to get!" Kara despaired.

"Really? What happened this time?" Alex laughed in disbelief. She knew Lena was a Useless Lesbian, but this was just crazy! Even Alex hadn't expected her to reach this level. Neither Maggie nor herself had ever been quite so blind as Lena was. This was honestly incredible at this point. Alex halfway considered making a bet with Maggie on how long it would take Lena "Lesbian" Luthor to realize Kara was hitting on her. It was too funny for words, and Alex also considered betting on how long it would take Kara to throw in the towel.

"First off, when I complimented her on the necklace the next day, she said it was a 'gift of friendship' from Supergirl," Kara began.

"Oh my god," Alex sniggered.

"Then when I tried to hint that the gem of the necklace was actually a Kryptonian crystal that had a message contained inside, it still went right over her head!" Kara continued. She paused only to shake her head in disbelief before going on. "I mean, the necklace was pink and yellow! Kryptonian colors of romance and marital love! How much more explicit could I possibly be?!"

"Well, now, you have to think about that one," Alex said, raising a hand. "Remember that Lena probably wouldn't understand the necklace anyway, just because that's more of a Kryptonian courting ritual."

"Perhaps," Kara allowed. "But even if that's true that Kryptonians express love differently than humans, you still think the fact that Supergirl gave her a necklace should be enough! I can't give her a total pass for not understanding this act of affection!"

"Perhaps," now it was Alex's turn to agree. "But did you tell her that it was from Kara?"

"No," Kara admitted.

"Then that's probably why it went right over her head," Alex reasoned. "She probably assumed it was only a peace treaty from Supergirl. After all, it's not Supergirl that flirts with her, it's Kara Danvers."

"Well, to be honest, at this point, I'm pretty sure we could both start flirting with her and she wouldn't notice," Kara muttered. "It's like I'm speaking in Kryptonese again. I'm pretty much outright saying that I love her, but she doesn't seem to understand a word I say. It can't be cultural differences either, because I've been using human courtship rituals and none of those have worked! She's useless and clueless!"

"Well, maybe Lena only thinks its friendship because she's never been in a romantic relationship before?" Alex suggested. Though she did not know Lena well, she knew that the woman had had a rather lonely upbringing. Lena would easily be the person to misconstrue romance for platonic love simply because of how unfamiliar she was with love in general. After all, this was the woman who considered flooding Kara's office with flowers to be a strictly friendly gesture. No doubt, Lena was the kind of person to google tips on how to be a good friend, and then confuse romantic actions with platonic ones, or see them as one in the same because they were both new to her. This idea was sad when it wasn't hilarious.

"I've considered that," Kara admitted. "But Lena's still not this stupid! Or at least, she shouldn't be..." Kara began to sulk again.

"I've tried human and Kryptonian tactics and nothing is working. Do we have any other ideas?" she asked Alex.

"Not at the moment," Alex replied. Kara didn't look too happy about this, but what else was she to do except accept it?

But the very next day, she was off and trying again to win Lena's heart.

"By the way, did Supergirl tell you how to read that necklace?" Kara tried again to get Lena to understand just how serious the necklace was.

"Read it?" Lena echoed.

"Yeah," Kara nodded. "You see, it's not just a regular necklace..." then Kara proceeded to explain how, on Krypton, when one person was into another, they gave that other person a gemstone necklace and the gems were essentially shiny flash drives containing several recordings from the necklace-giver to the recipient about why the giver loved the recipient.

"Really?" Lena had been genuinely fascinated by the process. "And how did you know?"

"Uhhh, well, she's talked to me about Krypton before and I was suggesting that she get you something to act as a symbol of your friendship," Kara lied, fiddling with her glasses as she did so. It went right over Lena's head, like always.

"Impressive," Lena nodded again, smiling down at the large pendant.

"Did you want to try and read it now?" Kara asked hopefully.

"Sure," Lena replied. "I think I have something in one of my labs that can translate this for us..."

But 10 minutes later, Kara's hopes were dashed again.

"Oh, Kara! I didn't realize the necklace was from you!" Lena smiled as the hologram of Kara, speaking about how much she cared for Lena, finally flickered off. Kara grinned sheepishly.

"What can I say? Supergirl is my wingman," she said.

"She is a very good one," Lena smiled as she replaced the gemstone into her necklace. "And you are a wonderful friend, Kara Danvers. Thank you so much for the necklace, it really does mean a lot to me..."

That was when Kara found herself wanting to slam her head into the nearest wall, but she knew her head would only go right through it, so that was kind of out of the question. Instead, she could only force a smile as Lena reached out to embrace her happily. While they were hugging, Kara whispered to Lena, but was intentionally too quiet for Lena to hear her:

"Oh Lena, you useless lesbian!" but Kara was smiling as she said this, because even though Lena's constant mistaking of her romantic intentions as platonic ones were frustrating, Kara loved Lena far too much to get mad at her over this. Maybe one day Lena would finally get it, but until then, Kara was going to keep on trying. It would happen eventually, it was just going to take time. A lot of time. But Kara was willing to wait. Maybe Lena was a useless lesbian, but she was Kara's useless lesbian, and that was all that mattered.

AN: This chapter is the role reversal wherein Lena is the oblivious one. TBH, I can see this happening too. There are already jokes about how Lena is so unaccustomed to having friends that she mistakes romantic actions for platonic ones because she's so unfamiliar with either (filling Kara's office with flowers and then calling her a friend).

I almost considered making this fic another Lena-centered one where she's doing all these things for Kara and Kara thinks Lena's hitting on her, but Lena innocently doesn't realize this and thinks she's just being a good friend. (Ex: she takes Kara out for dinner at a fancy restaurant and Kara waits the whole night for Lena to make some moves on her, but because Lena genuinely only thinks she's trying to be a good platonic friend, she never says a word about romance to Kara for the whole night, to Kara's amusement, disbelief and despair).