The Future King: Chapter Two: The Future Queen's Denial
The fawn was almost all devoured by that point. Osha ruthlessly tore into the meat of the fawn, as did Rickon. Osha glanced at his actions from time to time, amused. True, he had spent seven years in the wild, but if Osha didn't know any better, she'd say that the little Stark boy was born from the Wildlings, not from his Stark family. At least given the way he was attacking his food.
Rickon swallowed chunks of the baby deer's meat in an animalistic fashion.
Osha finally let out a laugh, having swallowed most of her food without worrying about choking. "Rickon," She chortled, "Ye'd fit right in with us savages. Yer eating almost as much as us Wildlin's. Maybe we should forget ye becomin' the king and arrange for ye to come with me to where the rest of the Wildlin's are back in Skagos." Naturally, Osha had been completely joking with the boy, and she knew that Rickon knew that, but the boy reacted in a way that she did not expect.
"Maybe I should." Rickon said firmly through his chewing, his determined eyes meeting Osha's startled ones.
Though Rickon had been eating mouthfuls, Osha had heard that seriousness in the boy's voice loud and clear. She reassured herself that it was just because he was still mourning for his broken family, as well as he should. No matter how many years had passed, the loss of a family was no laughing matter.
Osha just pushed her thoughts aside, going to the fawn and ripping another piece of meat from its slashed body, "Just eat more of yer food, Rickon." She mumbled, "It'll make ye strong. And ye need yer strength for tomorrow. We're going to go farther from here, away from anymore men sent after us."
Rickon merely nodded. He swallowed a bit and took another chunk of meat from the fawn before asking quietly, "Speaking of Skagos, is there any house we could go to and feel like we can trust them?" He felt somewhat foolish for asking that. He and Osha had been running around the countryside and island for years now, and he should know that they couldn't trust anyone by now, but even though the House of Magner had once tried to assassinate them, didn't mean that all houses couldn't be trusted.
She Is Gone Leaves Are Falling Down
The Tear Maiden Will Not Return
"I don't think so, boy." Osha sighed, rubbing her finger over the muscle of the fawn's meat, as if the texture was fascinating to her, more fascinating than the meat, "There is the House of Crowl and I've heard that they're honorable, but after everythin' we've been through, I don't think we should risk it."
Rickon couldn't help but agree. There had been way too many "close calls," when it came to their lives and Osha had put herself in front of Rickon to protect him for far too long. He didn't want to think about her life being in danger ever again.
"And those cannibals we ran into," Rickon asked feeling himself become cold at the very thought of the "Skaggs," "I don't want us going anywhere near them again."
Osha flinched at the thought. Well there was one thing that she and this boy agreed on. The "Stoneborn," were a foul, monstrous, savage people. Even where she came from, the clan of the Wildlings looked civilized in comparison. The encounter that she, Rickon and Shaggydog had had with two of them was more abominable than any nightmare she had suffered of the White Walkers before.
Luckily, Shaggydog had been quick to pounce on one of them, as had Osha herself, out of a spark of pure self-preservation had attacked with a long, hunting knife, impaling the Skagg through the heart.
Of course, if it hadn't been for Shaggydog, they'd have also been easily killed by that Unicorn they had run into two years ago as well.
The Seal Of Oblivion Is Broken
And A Pure Love's Been Turned Into Sin
These seven years of misadventures and traveling without the so called safety of Winterfell was nothing new to Osha. If anything, it was perfectly normal. She had traveled on her own or with other Wildlings for her whole life. But it was completely different now, because she now had someone else to be concerned about. Rickon was one of the few hopes left for the Stark family. She had heard the two rumors floating around the Realm. Two lords were dead. The Lannister monster, Joffrey and the honorable Stark lord, Robb. The second rumor had filled Osha with grief. She didn't know if it was true, but if it was, she grieved the honorable Robb. The worst though, was another Lannister beast, Tommen was in control.
And a part of her, a part that she had no idea she'd develop, feared for Bran Stark as well. She had become attached to the boy, very attached. He was kind and very intelligent. Traits she'd never imagine from a spoiled lord child. She had never found herself thinking of other people before. She never knew who her Wildling parents were or if she had any siblings. Robb, Bran and Rickon were the first three that she had ever truly been bonded to.
She had come to feel a great deal of affection for that crippled boy. She had found him fascinating, kind, and actual good company. Maybe even better company than some other wildlings she had traveled with.
Now, here, traveling for seven years with the youngest Stark lord, Osha found herself tied in the worst way. She was always concerned for him, and what was even worse, she wanted to help him become a good king, something she would have normally never cared about before she was brought to Winterfell.
Six years ago, a year after she and Rickon had abandoned Winterfell, when the boy was five, approaching six, she found that she wanted to hate him, yet she couldn't. She wanted to be angry that she was weakened by him and his brother, Bran but there was no use.
Upon realizing her affections for both young boys, she protected them from Theon Greyjoy's wrath and tyranny as well as she could.
But alas, the years had been hard on Rickon and his stricken, eerie temper was becoming more than obvious. She often tried to impress upon him what an honorable man Robb Stark was and that Rickon should be the same to be king of Winterfell, but she didn't know how. She watched over him, looked after him, but a wildling like her was probably the last person who should be rearing him.
At The Dawn Of Our Living Time
Hope May Cover All Cries
Truth Lurks Hidden In The Shadows
But she was the only one available. It was a desperate time for the house of Stark.
While she wanted to be angry at Rickon for making her as responsible as she was of him, she felt angry at herself more than anything else. She was trying to bring Rickon up, following his brother's footsteps. The boy had a will of his own, he didn't have to do everything the way his family did.
Still…She looked over at little Rickon, watching him glare out at the forest, as if daring for any enemy to come out and challenge them. Rickon was still angry, frighteningly angry. He had been aggressive when she and the boy and his wolf had left Winterfell and he was still angry now. An angry king was not a wise trump card to use against other kingdoms.
Osha took into consideration of where exactly they should go next, wanting to distract herself from Rickon's future. She knew that they couldn't stay here. It would only be a short amount of time before someone would find them. They had already gotten too close to danger with that smuggler, Davos Seaworth.
Almost as soon as Osha thought about that, she restrained a shudder. Seeing Rickon…..Like that had been almost a nightmare. Seeing the rage in the boy's eyes and witnessing him cut up Seaworth, screaming….She never wanted to see the boy like that ever again.
She forced her mind on where exactly they were going to go. Farther and even past Skagos? Further North? They had had enough misadventures here with House Magner, the Skaggs and Seaworth and various other assassins and dangers. They needed to hide further before word caught wind of where they were. Seaworth had died before he could grab Rickon or send a raven to message his masters, and the House of Magner had no idea who Rickon was, or that the boy was even the Stark heir. So far, they had been safe from discovery, but Osha feared that that wouldn't be for long.
They needed to run again as soon as dawn approached tomorrow.
Maybe going further would be safer. Even if they ran into things like other direwolves or unicorns, it would be better than any human danger, or worse, them.
Upon her mind wandering to the White Walkers, Osha suppressed any other disturbing thoughts and focused on the remainder of the meal. By the time there was only the meat in the legs of the fawn left, it appeared that both Rickon and herself were quite full and incapable of eating more.
As Osha stared at the dying flames of their fire. She knew that it had been risky to build it in the first place, letting possible enemies get closer. Then again, that was why they had started the fire far away from the cabin, wasn't it? As the fire was close to being extinguished, she heard Rickon interrupt her thoughts.
"Should we bring any of the meat with us when we leave?" Rickon asked, though Osha knew that he knew the answer.
He had learned how fast meat rotted but obviously asking was a way for him to still pretend that he wasn't as experienced as he really was.
"Ye know we can't," Osha said plainly, "The meat will start rottin' by tomorrow."
Rickon nodded, not surprised of course. "When will we be leaving?" He asked further.
"As soon as the first light hits." Osha stated, more than sure of when they'd leave. They needed all the time that they could get. They couldn't afford to leave later.
Dreams Might Be Filled With Lies
Soon There Will Be Night
Pain Remains Inside
Fearing the rest of the night, fearing of the horrors that would emerge from it as she usually did, Osha stood up at that moment, whipping her sticky hands against her fur covered form and then turned to the young lord, "I'm goin' to hide this fawn somewhere. Ye need to stay here until I'm done and we can get back to the cabin, understand?"
Rickon nodded. Of course he understood. And he had learned long ago why they needed to hide the bodies of their food. It was so that other predators like bears, wolves and sometimes worse wouldn't get attracted to it and come near where they stayed.
"Osha?" Rickon said quietly before he could stop himself as the Wildling picked the fawn up. Osha looked at him curiously. "Don't go that far, please?" The boy asked, "I got really worried before."
Osha was about to cynically lecture when she saw the boy's look. Gone was the usual fierce, enraged look that had developed more and more over the years because of the hardships of life and abandonment, and it was replaced by a mask of fear and worry. Osha found herself resigning from any strength she had. She knew how afraid Rickon was of being alone. He didn't want to be left alone ever again, she knew that.
"I'll be back very soon, Rickon." She said gently, "I promise." As soon as she said that, she knew she might have made a mistake. She knew how dangerous things were, what if she didn't make it back soon? What if she was killed while hiding the fawn's body? Then not only would Rickon be in danger but his hate would become a thousand times stronger.
But she wouldn't go far. She'd hide the body close to where they were right now, but far from the cabin.
She moved away from the boy, taking the carcass and some of the still smoking wood as fast as she could to a river where the evidence of their being in the woods would wash away. Once everything had been dumped in the water and she watched as the ripped up body floated away she returned to the spot where she had left Rickon.
He was still there, sitting on a rock, looking nervous.
"Ye see?" Osha asked, smirking, "I'm right here. Nothin's happened to me."
Rickon still looked nervous, but he nodded, getting up, knowing that he and Osha had to start getting back to the cabin.
As they started moving, Osha looked at the boy. She allowed her mind to travel to the boy's lack of words during their eating. She wasn't sure why but there was something about the boy's silence that had disturbed her. He had been quiet the whole time that they had eaten. He was quiet occasionally but there was something about the silence this time that unnerved her. Rickon had been watching her as they ate, as if planning. It was unsettling.
Osha half thought about questioning the boy and what he was thinking, but held her tongue when she thought more and more about it. Some things were better left not knowing. She knew how angry and lethal Rickon had become, and his hate was still there. A part of her feared just what went on in his head. Of course, there were millions of more dangerous people in the Realm than Rickon. Osha had traveled with more dangerous people than Rickon.
Before she had been captured by Robb Stark and Theon Greyjoy, she had been used to much worse than any lowlife at Winterfell. She remembered many times when she had been forced upon by men ten times more savage than Greyjoy. She was used to dangerous people, and yet, Rickon was starting to make her nervous.
She did know that at times, she had witnessed a look of jealousy every now and then when she brought up his brother Bran. She wondered at times, whether Rickon was jealous of Bran for having time with her since he now saw her as his caretaker or was he jealous of her for being with his dear big brother, Bran so much. She'd probably never know.
Suddenly (Oh) It Seemed So Clear
All The Blindness Was Taken Away
They traveled up the hill where the cabin was and entered cautiously. Shaggydog's happy whimpering was a sign that everything was safe. As they closed the door, they could barely see through the darkness. The candles that they had lit earlier were dim now. Osha sighed, reaching over to one of the ferret skin bags that they had left on the shelves and pulling out three more candles that they could light.
Once they got more light from the three new candles, Osha said that Rickon should get back to sleeping.
"I don't know if I'm tired," Rickon said quietly, "I got some sleep, then I woke up. And I had nightmares."
Osha breathed out, sympathy strong in her eyes, though Rickon couldn't see that in the dark, "More nightmares?" Rickon nodded, "Do you want me to sit with ye until yer asleep?"
"Yes, please." Rickon said that very quickly, and Osha narrowed her eyes. There were things called warning signs, and she was getting a lot of those. It was those instincts she had that had kept her alive her whole life in the wild.
However, it wasn't like it was the first time Rickon had asked her to stay by him as he went to sleep. He had before. But it also wasn't the first time that Rickon had observed her with that strange look either.
There were times when Rickon observed her and there were times while he did that his eyes burned. She'd wonder if it was from his anger like it usually was, but now she was really getting the feeling that it was something worse.
She followed Rickon and watched as the boy jumped into bed, Shaggydog lying down on his stomach next to the child's bed. Osha placed the candle on the stool next to the bed and dropped down into the wooden chair next to the bed, to the left of the bed, looking down at Rickon.
"Osha?" Rickon asked suddenly, "Why don't you ever lie next to me when I sleep?" Osha pulled her head back, startled. She certainly wasn't expecting such a question. "There's another bed in the next room." She stated, flicking off the question nonchalantly.
"But what if I want you to sleep next to me?" Rickon asked, once again surprising his caretaker and protector.
Osha wasn't sure how to answer this boy. He might have been the heir to the throne, but she in no way was going to obey him. Not about this anyway. It would be inappropriate. He was a growing boy, ten years old and approaching manhood in a few years, probably about three or four years and when he was either thirteen or fourteen, he'd need to learn that it wasn't right for him by that age and a full grown woman, at least sixteen winters older than he was to sleep next to each other.
She Closed Her Eyes And She Called Out My Name
She Was Never Ever Never Ever Seen Again
Osha held back a laugh when she thought of that excuse. No, that wasn't the reason why she wasn't sleeping next to him. She was used to far more inappropriate things than that, wasn't she? And her not wanting to sleep next to Rickon had nothing to do with being proper. No, being proper was for old ladies and those well-bred young girls back at Winterfell that had been taken to King's Landing.
Osha, to be frank did not know the real meaning behind being proper or inappropriate.
Well, that wasn't true either, was it? Being improper meant not caring what others thought and taking what one wanted, didn't it? That was her all the way to the core. When she wanted something, she took it, plain and simple. Proper was the opposite, wasn't it? Of course, she hadn't known the meaning of those words until she was brought to Winterfell and had met Bran Stark and spoke with the other servants. They taught her what those words meant.
She was hesitant to sleep next to the small lord because the way Rickon had been acting recently; for the last two and a half years made her nervous.
There was this quiet thinking, this calculating look he'd have. And when he looked at her he'd look calculating too, but there was a fire there as well. Something strangely passionate. It, to be honest, scared the wildling. Osha wasn't afraid to admit when she was scared. She'd admit to being scared immediately when it came to fear of death, or fear of the White Walkers, and she was learning to fear this boy as well.
It was starting to weigh on Osha's mind. Guilt. She hardly felt guilty about anything, so this was new to her as well. This boy was a child that she had reared and protected for seven years, how could she fear a child that she was raising?
It would be a lie to say that she didn't love this child. It was one of the things that she wanted to hate him for. She loved this child, which was something completely alien to her. She also knew that fearing this boy, Rickon was ridiculous. She was raising and teaching a possible future king. She was the one in control….Wasn't she?
Her disconcerted thoughts were interrupted when she felt a small hand on one of her own.
"Osha?" She heard Rickon's voice, "Are you alright?" The boy was staring up at her, worried.
"I'm quite alright, boy." Osha answered, feeling a strange sense of trying to hide every and all of her thoughts from the young lord, "I should probably just go to bed myself. And no, Rickon, I don't think I should sleep in the same bed as you, though. I know you have a lot of nightmares but Shaggydog is here for ye, ye know that right?"
"Trust me, I know," Rickon said dryly, sending an annoyed look at the direwolf, and Osha had the feeling that his guard wolf had licked they boy's face, irritating him. She allowed an amused smirk to cross her face at that thought.
"But Osha," Rickon said quietly, "My nightmares are getting worse." Something about the way he said that made Osha distrustful. But she refrained from any curious questions and just said gently, "It's only understandable that ye would want company while yer having the dreams. I'll be right in the next room."
Rickon seemed dismayed, but nodded nonetheless. As Osha was about to pull her hand back from Rickon's, the boy said, keeping her from moving to the other room, "Osha? You keep telling me that I'll be a king one day and have to hold up my family's honor, right?"
Harvest Of Sorrow, Your Seed Is Grown
In A Frozen World Full Of Cries
Osha froze in her spot, not wanting to think about that. She had been holding a lot of pressure on the boy. Trying to make him live up to the expectations of his future kingdom. Part of that had been because she always had regarded the northerners to be more honorable than the southerners. The Starks in comparison to the Greyjoys was proof enough of that suspicion on her part.
She wanted Rickon to be as honorable as Robb, even though she knew such an expectation was unfair.
Due to that consideration, she sighed, almost sadly, "Yes, boy, ye will. If Robb Stark is dead and Jon Snow doesn't become king, then ye are the only Stark heir left to win back yer family's place in the world."
Rickon laid his head back even further into the pillows, considering this. He had long since stopped brooding over the possibility of his brothers Robb or even Jon Snow being dead. Death was something he had realized was the most normal thing in the world. That was why he let his anger take over more and more, to protect himself against the reality of it.
"But if I'm to be king," Rickon started again, "Then I will need a queen, won't I?"
Osha blinked. Again, there was that disturbing look. Rickon was taking things into consideration, and he looked at her now with determination, and something else that she couldn't decipher. It made a shiver go down her spine. She never had had anyone look at her like that. Except for Bran.
She immediately threw Bran out of her mind and concentrated on what Rickon said.
"Yes," Osha started carefully, "I suppose so. When yer king, ye will have plenty of women to choose from."
When The Ray Of Light Shrinks
Shall Cold Winter Nights Begin
Her reassuring words, that she hoped would be taken as a type of teaching, was cut off when Rickon's hand reached out and grabbed her wrist again. This completely caught the wildling's attention and she looked down again at the boy.
"And what if I've already chosen?" The future king asked, eyes burning so intensely that Osha now mentally erased any doubts about what Rickon's intent was.
This time, with such blatantly obvious words thrown at her, Osha understood completely and now wondered just how she could have missed it for so long. Rickon wanted….But she shoved that realization down. Whatever Rickon wanted, it would be impossible. She was sixteen winters older than him. Well, that wasn't the worse thing that she had encountered. She knew much worse things than an ten-year-old wanting her. But she would not go along with it. The boy was meant to be king and he was meant to marry a woman his age if not only a little younger or a little older, not the age gap that she had with him. And he would marry a woman of great status, of great wealth and a proper lass, not a wildling.
"No, Rickon," She said, her shock and surprisingly, fear waning a little as she yanked her hand out of the boy's, "When ye reach the Stark throne and King's Landin', ye will find a woman worth yer status, and ye'll be out of this faze. Yer only thinkin' like this because ye haven't seen yer mother for years."
Osha knew she shouldn't have brought that up, given how much of a personal blow it was, hearing about his mother leaving. Rickon's reaction proved that. His eyes hardened and he snapped coldly, "My mother has nothing to do with this, Osha! I had a mother, and I might be angry that she left, but I know what my feelings are for you." At that, he sat up enough so that he was on his knees and given that Osha was sitting down, they were at the same height. Rickon then leaned forwards and slammed his lips against Osha's.
Osha's eyes widened more than they ever had in her whole life. No matter what shocks she was experienced with, she had never expected this. Luckily, the boy was inexperienced and had no idea how to invade a woman's mouth. Unfortunately, she did. Before Osha knew what she was doing, she felt her tongue flick against Rickon's lips, and he, by instinct, opened his mouth and Osha, without realizing it, slipped her tongue inside, her tongue caressing his. Rickon moaned, and Osha was suddenly thankful to all the spirits that she worshipped that she heard the noise he made, as it made her wake up and realize what she was doing with a ten year old boy!
Osha gasped and ripped her face away from Rickon's, jumping up from her seat and backing away from the bed, covering her mouth as she understood fully what she had done with her mouth.
Rickon, looking completely dismayed, stared at the wildling and licked his lips, now smirking.
"Did you enjoy that, Osha?" He asked, "I know I did. I liked it a lot." Osha felt sick. She felt like she had just forced herself on the boy, even though she knew for a fact that it was the other way around. He had seduced her without knowing it.
Before Osha could stop herself, she went right over to the amused lord, swung her hand back and slapped Rickon right across the face. Shaggydog was suddenly up and growling to protect his master, but Rickon, though having the wind knocked out of him from Osha striking him, turned to the wolf and snapped at him to calm down. The worried but obedient direwolf whined and lowered himself to the floor once again. Osha wasn't sure what to do after that. It was like time had stopped. But Rickon slowly turned his head back to the wild woman, a strange, almost predatory smile on his lips. A smile that just didn't belong on a child.
"I know what my feelings are, Osha," Rickon said, aggression loud and clear in his voice, "Do you know what your feelings are?"
She Is Gone And I Fall From Grace
No Healing Charm Covers My Wounds
Fooled's The Dawn And So I Am
Fooled By Life And A Bitter Doom
To Bring You The End Of The Day
Osha couldn't do this. This was abominable. She had been through a lot her whole life, but being involved in that way with a child? Disgusting, even by her standards.
"I'm goin' to my room, Rickon," Osha snapped, uncaring of how she spoke to him now, "I will not tolerate anythin' ye say about ye and me, understand? There is no ye and me."
"And yet," Rickon said, eyes still burning into hers, "You didn't pull away. Or did you prefer Bran to me?" Osha, by no means missed the jealousy in Rickon's voice as he spoke about Bran. So, she was right all along. Rickon assumed that she saw Bran like that and didn't think Rickon was good enough.
"I'm goin' to bed!" Osha snapped, "I don't want to hear any more from ye!" She stormed away from Rickon's bed, feeling his eyes still on her as she slammed the door of her room shut and she went to her bed, sitting on it as she removed her weapons from her form.
What Rickon said was preposterous. Completely and utterly preposterous. She never felt anything even remotely like that for Bran. That was sick. It was even more sick to think that she'd feel anything whatsoever for Rickon.
Bran, if Osha's suspicions were correct, at least by now would be seventeen years old, since he was seven years older than Rickon, and it wouldn't be too bad for her to have those types of feelings for him. Even if she was nine winters older than him, it was better than Rickon, being a ten-year-old and her being twenty-six.
Even if it was insane to think that she had feelings for Bran that were outside of motherly, the age gap wasn't nearly as bad as it was with Rickon. Still, the very thought of her forming any kinds of feelings like that for Bran, for a young boy whom she would carry on her back or in her arms for a year and a half, aiding him whenever he needed her too she found incredibly sick.
Rickon was no different. She was looking after him, and he was insinuating that she wanted him as much as he wanted her? There were many grotesque things she had encountered in her life, some even more abominable than the White Walkers themselves, but this would even make the White Walkers look tame.
She had been beaten, raped, thrown out in the cold for death to take her, had wild animals come after her to devour her, been stabbed, and a million of other horrific things happen to her in her life. She had stolen, killed, disregarded everything in her life as well, but this crossed completely new bounderies for her.
This would make the spirits become disgusted. Osha had always been sure when she and Rickon and Shaggydog had fled here from Winterfell that they would be safe because there were so many trees around them. Now she was not sure. How could the gods protect them when Rickon felt desires that the gods themselves would find detestable?
Osha shook her head, not wanting to think just how much she was displeasing her gods. She certainly was. How could she not be if she had failed to raise Rickon properly? How could he have been raised properly by her if he felt this way? Osha wanted to blame Rickon's mother for leaving him at such a young age.
The boy needed a mother, and so he confused his feelings of love with those of his mother. The love he was feeling was the wrong kind of love and that was simply because he needed a proper mother.
As Osha pulled off most of the fur covering her upper body, she halted her movements when she heard her door creak open.
"Osha," Rickon's voice came from the opening in the large piece of wood, "I know you told me to stay in my bed but I don't want to sleep alone. Please don't tell me to go back to my room. I promise I won't say anything else."
Rickon's small form appeared in the doorway and even though it was dark, Osha could make out that he was looking at her. The boy stepped forward. Shaggydog, ever the faithful animal was close behind him.
Shaggydog lay on the ground as Rickon sat on the foot of the bed, looking at Osha.
"I'm sorry, Osha," Rickon said, sounding surprisingly guilty, "I'm sorry I upset you. I know that you told me once that the gods don't approve of older men and women being with younger men and women."
"It's not just that." Osha whispered, staring at the wall, wanting to avoid the boy's eyes, "Ye are the Stark lord's heir. Yer supposed to marry a woman of yer status. And the gods are disgusted by these kinds of relationships."
At The Dawn Of Our Living Time
Hope It Soon Will Pass By
Rickon shrugged, holding back his anger, "Then everyone in the realm is doomed. I don't know if you've noticed, but every kingdom we've come across while running from soldiers and assassins seem to have that sort of marriage relationship happening because the lords of those kingdoms are just pieces of scum."
"And we are not," Osha snapped, looking at him this time, "Ye are ten and I'm twenty-six. We are not doin' what the Lannisters and other kingdoms have done for years."
Rickon's dangerous, playful eyes could be seen by the light of the candle. He was now smirking at her. Osha never had felt intimidated by the heir of Stark till the year before now. But Rickon was starting to make her realize that no matter what the age, a child having gone through as much as he had could grow to be deadly. She now feared what kind of child she had been rearing for years. If she wasn't careful, he might grow to become twisted. The fact that he was lusting after someone who was a decade and a half older than him was proof of that.
Osha finally decided to talk to him about this, see if she could talk some sense into him as well as understand what she could do about his confused feelings.
"Rickon," She started, "Ye were abandoned several times by yer family, ye had to be separated from Bran and Winterfell, so of course ye would have feelin's that aren't completely right. Ye just need yer mother and yer family. Once ye gain the throne, ye'll feel a little better. Ye won't be speakin' of this nonsense. I know how hard for ye it must be, but ye can't be foolish, boy. Ye'll have expectations and ye can't marry someone like me and ye need to stop bein' so rash."
Rickon now had a scowl as he mumbled, "I might be rash but I know what I want. I don't care about anyone's expectations," He then stood straight up, now glaring at Osha, "People's expectations were what got my father beheaded and my sister married to the biggest piece of scum in all the Realm." He stepped closer the candlelight so that he was now looming over the sitting Osha, his eyes looking strange and animal like in the light.
Osha held her breath. She was wrong. She was afraid of the boy she raised and the boy she thought she knew. But she didn't know him, not at all. He had changed so much from the angry boy that couldn't open up to an easily enraged, calculating and possibly ruthless young man. From a certain way of looking at it, that might be a good thing for a king to be, but Osha wasn't sure if she could bear seeing Rickon like this.
Finally Osha whispered in a voice that was quiet, but the reckless child still heard, "I think because yer different, yer goin' to be a harsh, violent king. Yer'll be dangerous. Yer'll be feared. That's not what a king is supposed to be." She looked at him in the eye, hoping he understood, "That's not the king I'd respect. Yer an heir of the North, act like one. I can't respect ye otherwise."
Rickon narrowed his eyes and said, "I don't care about pressures of what the kingdom use on me," The boy sneered, "I don't care about what the kingdom wants me to do. I'm going to make my own decisions." The boy stared at Osha hard now and the wildling woman really hoped the burning she saw in his eyes was just the candlelight, "My feelings are not confused. I was confused years ago, because I didn't understand and I couldn't cope. I'm different now. And I know how I feel about you, Osha."
Facing A Darkness
I Stand (Alone)
Rickon stopped his tirade, reaching his hand out and taking some ragged locks of Osha's mop of hair, tangling his fingers in it a little. Osha tensed. Rickon then said, voice aggressive, "I am who I am, I won't let the kingdom make me into something else." His eyes then met the woman's, "Do you think I need to change just because I'm different than what they think I'm supposed to be?"
Osha thought about pulling away, but held back from doing so. The boy was already confused and distraught, he didn't need to get frustrated any more than he already was. She had learned to become understanding to both Rickon and Bran in their plight in the year and a half that she had stayed….Well, been held prisoner at Winterfell, and in these years she had been with Rickon, running away from enemies with him, surviving with him, living with him, laughing with him, crying with him, she had learned fully what understanding and commitment was completely and could speak with him liberally, but there were times like this, she just didn't know what to say.
Rickon finished, his hand tightening on Osha's matted hair, "I know you think you won't respect me when I'm older, and maybe you won't but you once told me that people can't control their feelings. Even if you don't respect me, how do you know that you won't love me by that point? I'll be old enough at some time to take the throne, and in how many years it takes, you might love me too. I don't care if you're a wildling and the people of the kingdom will look down on our relationship, and to be honest, I don't even care if the gods frown upon us, I know that I love you. Do you know what you will feel in the next five, ten or so years?" Rickon saw the stricken look that possessed his guardian's face and decided that he had crossed a line with her. He slowly removed his hands from her ragged hair and moved away.
He backed up to the door. He stated, "Here, Shaggydog," The so called dog got up instantly, and came to his side and the boy then looked at the angered and shocked woman, "Look, sorry, I know that I'm upsetting you. I'll go to bed now."
Osha felt that saying, that that would be good, would be an appropriate thing to say. Albeit, she hadn't learned what the word "appropriate" meant until she met Bran Stark, any more than she had understood the words "inappropriate" and "proper" till Winterfell, but now that she knew the word, she knew that that was exactly the word that would fit her feelings now. She just watched in silence as the young lord was about to walk out before he turned back to her for a moment.
"Just remember, Osha," He said in a certain tone, the fire still in his eyes, "I kissed you first, but you reacted. You didn't stop me." He then walked out and closed the door behind him.
Osha was at a complete loss of words. All these years in the wild had left Rickon almost as wild as her. He didn't know the way the social system worked back in his kingdom. Or rather, he had forgotten. Understandable; he had spent seven years out here in the wild with her. That was way more time spent in the wild than the four years spent at Winterfell before he and Osha and Shaggydog had to flee to escape Theon Greyjoy. It was true as well that he would never turn out like that power hungry lord, Theon himself and the rest of his lowlife scum at his beloved "Iron Islands," still, it was clear that one day he would become out of control. He was wild and full of fury and desire. Something that was completely abnormal for a ten-year-old. Even Osha, who had grown up in the wild knew that. She had grown up alongside other children in the wild and they had never had that kind of behavior run through them.
Well, to be fair, none of them had any royal blood in their veins, so they never had the opportunity thrown right in their paths, allowing them to be kings and have authority. They had to survive on pure force and brute strength and cunning, not authority over a kingdom.
But Rickon, once he had the kingdom in his grasp, if there was no competition for the throne, she wouldn't have a choice.
But the part that made it even worse, she had affection for the little brat, but he was right. She didn't know what her feelings were. She, realizing that if she didn't know what her feelings were now, how would she know what her feelings would be years from now when that gold crown was placed upon Rickon Stark's head?
No, she wouldn't, she understood at that moment. And at that moment, real fear ran through her as she took off her fur clothing. One day, when Rickon was full grown and had fought his way to the throne and became king, after spending so much time with him, would she really resist him?
It was strange for her, wasn't it? When she wanted something, she took it. She never hesitated. No matter what it was, food, gold, any kind of possession, shelter, or a man, she took it. When she felt desire for a man, she'd quite lewdly offer herself to him without regard for others. Lord knew the number of men that she had laid down with. Or, to put it more bluntly and quite more "appropriately," she had fucked them, hard.
It was almost unheard of for her to hold back from taking a man she wanted, and yet here she was, restraining herself with a young man that she might one day come to desire. If she had a feeling that she might form desire for him now, perhaps there would be no stopping her oncoming feelings in the future, and her and Rickon's relationship would be sealed.
She was a wildling and had sworn to never obey anyone, man or woman, outside of the gods, unless in certain circumstances like being imprisoned at Winterfell. But now, being bound to this child and coming to know him, learning to love him and now seeing him grow to be a man, was wanting him such an easy thing to suppress? She could suppress it….couldn't she?
Couldn't she?
Harvest Of Sorrow, Your Seed Is Grown
In A Frozen World Full Of Cries
When The Ray Of Light Shrinks
Shall Cold Winter Nights Begin
Author's Note:
Again, for those that want to argue that both Osha and/or Rickon are acting out of character, my apologies, however, think about it for a second.
As mentioned many times (sorry for being repetitive in the fic) but they've been together for seven years in the forest and wild. They know each other pretty damn well by now, I'd say. Not to mention the year that she spent with him and Bran at Winterfell. Osha would be very used to Rickon by now and Rickon would be pretty used to Osha, so this was the best I could come up with.
And again, I thought this song fit Game of Thrones and Osha and Rickon very well, since it reminded me of a Pagan song. Again I hope you guys liked it and I'm ready for the flame throwers.
