A/N: I'm so glad you guys are jazzed about this story being revamped. There's one more chapter after this one for the 2015 prompt, and then we'll be moving on to 2016.
TARDISthruthefandom, this is getting posted early because your review just made my day. It's a whole lot easier to go through these already written stories and fix them up. It takes so much less time! I added a good deal to this chapter though, because there were some spots that really needed some fleshing out - especially considering what some of us know happened in the 2016 story with Cobra.
2015 - Fairy Tale, Part 2
Beauty and the Beast
"I anticipate you will allow no harm to come to Lady Lucy this evening," Capricorn said as his enormous hands adjusted the cravat around Cobra's neck.
"It's a possibility," Cobra answered with a sneer. His hand lifted to pull at the suffocating little bit of fabric once the spirit turned around to grab his blue overcoat with gold accents. "Odds are fifty-fifty."
"I would suggest leaving it alone. You have only a few minutes left before you and Lady Lucy are to leave."
Cobra sighed and dropped his hand to his side. An entire hour had been spent in this little backwater motel on the outskirts of the town where the party was being held. Jellal, Racer, Hoteye, and Midnight had been laughing their asses off the entire time, holding a running commentary on every poke and prod he received from the large goat while he was getting prepared for the evening.
No matter how much fun it had been getting under Lucy's skin, and listening to how her mind worked while they insulted each other, wearing all of this frilly bullshit was killing a little part of him inside.
Capricorn turned around after brushing away any imagined dust particles from the garment, then slid it over Cobra's arms. He adjusted the sleeves of the shirt so the small fringe was sticking out of the ends of the jacket's sleeves, then took a step back and compared the mage in front of him with the picture Virgo gave him to ensure everything was in its proper place. Once he was satisfied, Capricorn gave a single nod. "It is finished. Please follow me. We shall meet with Lady Lucy in the lobby."
"Yeah yeah," Cobra groaned. "Wouldn't wanna keep her Royal Bustiness waiting..."
"Might I suggest attempting to be more civilized while you are in her presence this evening?"
"Cobra, civilized?" Jellal chuckled as he walked just behind the spirit with the others. "I don't think that's possible."
"Fuck you, Smurf," Cobra growled. "It's bad enough I've gotta wear all this bullshit."
"Maybe you should have just been a pirate," Midnight mused. "You're already missing an eye, and Captain Hook is a pirate."
"You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?" Cobra snarled. "I'd rather be dressed as a pirate missing a fucking hand than a butt-pirate in this frilly shit!"
"I'm pretty sure Captain Hook's outfit is red and pink," Jellal chuckled. "With more frills..."
"Shut up, Jellal," Midnight hissed. He scowled and smacked their guild master in the back of the head.
"And a feather in his hat," Hoteye added.
"With a creepy molester moustache, and a fear of crocodiles and clocks," Racer said with a low laugh.
"Still," Cobra huffed, "I could be a badass sea-warrior with an eye patch that's pillaging and laying waste to every ship in my path on the high seas. Instead, I'm dressed as some narcissistic twatwaffle in a puffy fucking shirt."
"I'm pretty sure Vikings were the ones pillaging and laying waste to things, Cobra," Jellal said with a grin. He sighed when he received another smack to the back of his head by Midnight.
"Oh, but Captain Hook wears tights," Midnight said. "And you don't want to wear tights, because they're clearly offensive to your masculinity."
"I really don't feel like giving everyone a view of my cock and balls crammed into fucking spandex," Cobra shot back. "Trust me, it's not a pretty fucking picture if that shipping demon's imagination is anything to go by."
"It is my understanding that Captain Hook is missing only his hand," Capricorn interjected. "The concept of pirates wearing eye patches because they are missing an eye is actually a myth. More often than not, they wore an eye patch while preparing to raid another vessel. In the event they needed to fight below deck with little to no light, they would simply switch the eye patch to the previously uncovered eye, and their sight would already be adjusted to seeing in darkness."
Everyone was completely silent while they gaped at the goat spirit. "Well, I am missing a fucking eye," Cobra muttered. "So, stereotype or not, I'd still be more badass with a goddamn eye patch."
They reached the deserted lobby and stood around in silence for several minutes, with Cobra glaring vehemently at the ground while they waited for the women to make their appearance. As the first stirrings of his other two female guild mates' voices drifted down the hall, Cobra lifted his gaze. Angel and Meredy walked around the corner, giggling like a pair of little schoolgirls, and came to stand with the rest of the group. Before anyone could ask where Lucy was, she came out into the lobby.
Lucy smiled at the stunned faces of the guys when they saw her, nervously tucking a stray hair behind her ear. She turned to look at Cobra and her eyes went wide when she saw just how good he looked. While she had known exactly what his outfit was going to look like, and had seen the movie often enough in her life to have it memorized anyway, that didn't change the fact that Cobra looked downright edible in that gold vest, white shirt and cravat, and black breeches. The black dress shoes were definitely smart improvisation on Virgo's part, since the Beast wasn't wearing shoes. His vibrant blue jacket with gold lapels and trim suited him just a little too well though.
'Well, I guess my panties are pointless now... Luckily there's enough fabric in this skirt to catch the waterfall my vagina just turned into... Fuck, he looks good enough to eat…'
Cobra snorted when he saw the light flush to her cheeks that barely tinted them a shade darker than the light makeup she was wearing. Then again, his own thoughts held much the same sentiment when he saw her; just more along the lines of his pants being just a little too tight at this point.
Normally, he considered the ball gowns that high society women wore to be obnoxious and downright fucking ridiculous looking. Somehow Lucy just looked really fucking sexy. Her corset-cinched waist only accentuated the swell of her hips and breasts. The gold in her dress and elbow-length gloves made her eyes almost glow. What threw him off though was the fact that Lucy was now a brunette. It was weird as hell seeing her that way, and he was shocked to find out that he preferred her as a blonde.
It shouldn't have been too surprising though. He'd always had a thing for blondes.
"What?" Angel huffed as she looked at the Poison Slayer who, for his part, was glaring at some point on the ground that must have very clearly offended him.
Cobra raised his brow and looked over at Angel. "Don't worry about it, I doubt Midnight could handle another nosebleed."
"Dick," Midnight muttered.
"How did you get your hair to change color?" Jellal asked.
"Cancer," Lucy said with a smile. When the Heavenly Body mage blanched, she laughed. "No, I mean my spirit, Cancer. He's the crab constellation. He does my hair and makeup when we're bored, but in battle he tends to distract people by cutting their hair, and then paralyzes them by hitting pressure points with his scissors... Or he just severs nerves altogether… I'm still not sure."
"You mean you don't know how he actually takes enemies down?" Angel asked with a chuckle. "I thought you would have asked him after we fought and I used our spirits' relationships with each other against you."
Lucy pouted. Oh, she'd taken a much more active interest in her spirits' lives after fighting against Angel all those years ago. She'd definitely learned her lesson that day. Besides, it was a bit of a sore spot that a Celestial mage who had abused her spirits had still known them better than Lucy, who claimed to love them like family.
"I did ask," she said. "And he distracted me with the offer of a spa day. Loke says it's probably best that I don't know what he's actually doing, so I'm just leaving it alone."
"Well, we should get going, regardless," Jellal said as he looked out the window toward the setting sun. "You two head out first, take the long way there, and we'll be in position by the time you arrive. Racer, go ahead of everyone and sneak inside."
With a nod, the group split off from each other as they left the building, with Capricorn slipping something into Lucy's hand just before he disappeared back to the Celestial Realm.
Lucy and Cobra were still several minutes from the party, and had spent the majority of their walk through the scenic parts of town in complete silence. At least, they had been outwardly silent.
Through the entire trip, Lucy had been using Cobra's Soul Listening magic to their advantage, telling him about her spirits and their capabilities when it came to fighting. In the event they got into a fight, his knowledge of what they were capable of would come in handy if they were going to work together in any capacity. A warm breeze blew by, and Lucy sighed contentedly as much as she possibly could while her corset acted like a boa constrictor around her midsection.
"I don't know how you can stand that shit," Cobra finally said. "You can't fucking breathe, and your feet hurt already from your shoes. And that dress looks like it weighs a fucking ton."
"It does," Lucy giggled as she glanced at the scar on Cobra's face while he kept his eye trained on the road in front of them. "Just like everything else with this stupid party, it's what I was raised to do. Wearing corsets, cumbersome dresses, pinchy heels, and pretending I'm a little fragile China doll with only half a brain when it comes to the opposite sex is all just part of the package."
Cobra nodded slowly and glanced at her. "You look fucking weird with brown hair, by the way."
"You look weird dressed up in general," Lucy teased, grinning when she saw him grimace. "It's not that bad, Cobra. It could be worse..."
"Yeah? How do you figure?"
"You could be wearing the corset and heels," Lucy replied. She pictured Cobra wearing her outfit and he stumbled in his step. "Exactly. It could be much worse."
"Cut that shit ou—" Cobra snarled when Lucy pictured him dressed up as a red-haired mermaid with sea shells covering his nipples. Hell fucking no, he was not the Little goddamn Mermaid. Like he would be stupid enough to brush his hair with a fucking fork. "You're fucking twisted, you know that?"
"Yep, but that's what you like about me."
"I don't like anything about you, Blondie..."
"Then why were you staring at my tits when you saw me?"
"Because you've got a serious set of tiggle bitties, and they're begging to be stared at."
"'Tiggle bitties'?" Lucy laughed.
"Knockers, fun bags, chesticles, sweater meat, jugs..." Cobra supplied. "Want me to keep going, Busty?"
"Yeah, actually I do," Lucy giggled. "But first... I've gotta give you something." She stopped as they came to an alley, and quickly dragged Cobra into it with her. As she turned around, Lucy pulled the items Capricorn had given her out from between her breasts where she had stored them for safekeeping.
"What's that?"
"A wedding ring," Lucy said. She looked down at the simple gold band with a bright red flush crossing her cheeks, then stiffly held it out in her palm for Cobra to take it from her.
"And why would I need that?" Cobra's eye widened and his lip curled in disgust when he heard what she was about to say. "What in the actual fuck do you mean we're fucking acting like we're fucking married?!"
Lucy scowled and threw a hand over his mouth. She stepped closer and whispered, "Cobra, the easiest way to explain why you're my escort for this evening is the two of us being married. It gets you out of knowing anything about the bullshit backstory I gave to get the invitation, and it gets me out of a majority of those assholes trying to hit on me more than necessary."
Cobra growled and slowly pulled her hand from his lips. "Don't you think you should have mentioned this shit sooner?" He was so focused on his anger that he didn't realize their fingers were still intertwined when their hands dropped between them.
"Probably," Lucy sighed. "But I kinda forgot about it after I put the rings in my super-secret hiding place."
"Wow… Just… Just fucking wow," What the hell was he supposed to do with that kind of response? After another moment, his eye narrowed. "Explain how being married gets us out of anything. We don't—well, you don't know jack shit about me, while I know way too fucking much about you."
Lucy rolled her eyes at him. "If you and I aren't married as far as the guests concerned, then the only reason for you to escort me anywhere would be if you're also from the same real estate company. If that's the case, then they can rightfully ask you any question they want to. The guests are some of the richest and most powerful high rollers in Fiore, so they'll want to trip you up. It makes it easier on you if you don't have to listen to their asinine bullshit and focus on scouting out the guys we're looking for." Lucy paused and took a couple deep breaths, silently cursing the steel boning Virgo had sewn into the corset so it would maintain its shape better. The fact that she'd managed to get that out in one breath was definitely a new record for her, but damn was it hard.
Cobra slowly nodded.
"As far as my end of the night is concerned," she continued, "If I show up there with a man on my arm and no ring, I'll be labelled as a whore. I really don't give two shits what any of those pompous smegma junkies think about me, but I'll be bothered all night by guys that are just trying to get a piece because they'll think I'm a slut. Which means I'd be attached to your arm all night just to keep the more subdued ones at bay. And then I'd have to pretty much hide behind you and let you do all the talking if anyone got too handsy. Plus, Lord Aurus will most likely try to get me to sleep with him tonight. That's the real reason he gave me the invitation."
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" Cobra asked. "So, you accepting the invitation is practically saying you're gonna fuck him."
That definitely explained why Lucy had been flirting with the old bastard to get the invitation, and why she had actually gotten so sick from the thought of it that she had vomited once they left the camp the day before.
And again that morning.
And a few hours before when she had started getting ready for the party. Hell, Cobra had wanted to puke just from seeing what he had to wear, but at least there wasn't some perverted geezer trying to fuck him.
"Right," Lucy said with a grimace. "Unless…"
Cobra sighed and rolled his eye. "Unless you're fucking married."
Lucy giggled and lifted the hand that was holding the wedding rings, then lightly tapped Cobra's nose. "Bingo!"
"Well, better get this shit over with then," Cobra sighed. When Lucy put her hand out to give him the ring, a devious grin spread across his face while he shook his head. "Oh, no… You're gonna have to ask me to marry you, Blondie."
"I'm not proposing to you," Lucy hissed. "Just take the stupid ring, and let's go."
Cobra huffed dramatically and turned his head away from her, crossing his arms over his chest. "We won't be married unless you propose, Blondie. Down on one knee and everything."
"You…" Lucy nearly growled. Who the hell did he think he was, saying something like that? As if she would actually propose to him. She didn't even know him. Well, aside from the few snippets of the past few years that she'd picked up, or that she was actually a part of. But that really wasn't the type of person she would propose to. Cobra, for all that he was attractive, wasn't her type.
Then again, Lucy's type hadn't really pulled in any winners for her. And ever since the war with Tartaros, she'd just felt empty inside. Since sacrificing Aquarius… No, she couldn't think about that, or this whole thing would be a bust. She couldn't start crying right then.
After a solid minute of watching Cobra stand stone still, Lucy groaned in frustration. He was apparently a stubborn little shit. Based on the way his brow lifted, she was sure that was the case. He wasn't going to budge on it, which meant she needed to just propose and get it over with. They were already running behind as it was, so they could give the rest of the guild time to get in their positions at Lord Aurus' manor.
"Cobra, my dress will get messed up if I kneel right now…"
"Standing is fine, then," Cobra snipped.
"You're such a fucking woman." She looked at the slight tightening in the corner of his mouth from his poor attempt at hiding just how humorous he thought this was, then mumbled, "Will you marry me…"
"I didn't seem to catch that," Cobra chuckled, turning his head to look at the bright red flush on Lucy's cheeks as she stared at the ground.
"Cobra," Lucy said firmly, "Will—"
"Uh uh uh," Cobra tutted. "Erik."
"What?"
"Erik," Cobra repeated. "If you're gonna propose, you should use my real name. And say it like you fucking mean it. From the heart, Blondie."
His real name was Erik? That was… oddly fitting, somehow. She couldn't place why she thought that, but looking at the Poison Slayer and repeating his name in her head just seemed right. It suited him. And, oddly enough, she found herself smiling at the realization that he'd shared something like that with her so freely.
Lucy slowly lifted her gaze to the Poison Slayer's single indigo eye, then gently held both of his hands in hers while she took a step closer to him. She lightly nibbled her lower lip, watching as his eye narrowed.
"You mean the world to me, Erik," she whispered. "This crazy whirlwind romance we've found ourselves in has me so utterly enraptured with you. I don't think you realize just how deep my feelings for you truly run, but I'd love to spend the rest of our lives showing you in every imaginable way that my love for you is fathomless. I could use any number of cliché lines for this, but I already know what you want to hear me say."
Lucy smiled seductively up at him and pressed her body against his. She could swear she felt his fingers tighten around her own.
"I'll never let you forget just what it feels like to be loved, to feel me wrapped around you while I'm screaming your name every night. How my lips feel while I'm worshipping every single inch of your body, because you're a man that's more than deserving of my affection."
Cobra listened to her soul while she spoke, and grew even more confused when all he could get a read on was an image of an open book with entirely blank pages. He couldn't hear anything else aside from that, and her thoughts consisted of only what she was saying to him. Nothing more, nothing less.
"My heart and soul sings just for you with every breath I take, just as yours does for me. I want to be the harmony to your soul's melody forever." She paused and lifted a hand to his cheek, lightly brushing her thumb over the bottom portion of his scar. "Erik, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"
Cobra gulped while he was caught in her gaze, feeling her breath mingling with his own as her lips drew closer to his. The scent of lilies filled his sinuses, and he quickly licked at his suddenly dry lips. He'd just been screwing around about the whole thing. He definitely hadn't thought she would cave in so easily.
But she sounded so sincere. Regardless of what her soul was doing, her breath quivered with anticipation. Would he say yes? Would he laugh in her face and make her feel like an idiot? How the hell had she made his heart start pounding? When the fuck had her plump lips gotten so close to his that he could nearly taste her? Her wide, expressive eyes held him captive, and in that moment he realized that this was the first time she didn't look dead inside.
"Yeah," he whispered. "I can do that."
Lucy smiled softly and carefully the slid golden band on his ring finger without breaking eye contact. Once she'd put her own ring on over her glove, her eyes were alight with mischief as she giggled and drew back from the stunned Slayer.
Cobra quickly shook his head and gaped at the radiant woman that had somehow caused his brain to shut the fuck down. "What the hell was that shit you just pulled?"
"I proposed."
"No, that sappy eloquent bullshit that you pulled out of fuck only knows where," Cobra said in exasperation. "Your brain turned into a blank book on me… How the fuck did you—"
"I'm an author," Lucy answered with another laugh. "I made it up as I was going, and I was pretending that you and I were characters in a book that I had to write dialogue for."
"Fucking lunatic," Cobra grumbled with a roll of his eye.
He'd gotten exactly what he'd asked for, a proposal that sounded sincere and as though she had meant every goddamn mushy word of it. He quickly realized that what had thrown him off about her proposal, aside from her soul pulling that blank book shit on him, was the way she had felt pressed against him while she was speaking, and how Lucy had even incorporated his own fucking magic into it using the same sort of description he would have for a soul.
Souls manifested as images and thoughts, sure; but the root of it, the very core of who someone was, actually sounded like a song with melodies, harmonies, even modulations and counterpoints trilling through them. Some were full orchestral symphonies while others were merely a resonant vocal hum. It was astounding that anyone would have picked up on something like that, and all Cobra could do was wonder just how in the fuck Lucy knew it.
Maybe she knew more than she let on though, and damnit that just made him want her more than he already did.
After a moment, Lucy carefully stepped up to Cobra's side and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, using her other hand to lift his arm into the proper position so they could continue on their way to the party. "Well, Erik… What's my new last name?" she asked as they walked out of the alley.
"Huh?"
"Women usually take the last name of their husband," Lucy said. "If we're married, I'd take yours. So, what is it?"
"Don't have one. My name's Erik. That's it."
Lucy tilted her head to the side while she looked at him in confusion. Then again, there were plenty of people who didn't have last names for one reason or another. "Want mine then?" she asked.
"What?!"
"My last name," Lucy repeated. "Wanna be Erik Heartfilia? It's not like there's any family to be upset if you use it. They're all dead."
Cobra frowned and stared at her for a moment, then nodded. "Sure. For tonight only."
"Alright," Lucy said with a smile as she looked down the road to see the enormous mansion they were walking toward, along with all of the flamboyant decorations lining the lawn. "You do realize that you'll need to call me by my real name, right?"
"Not happening," Cobra chuckled. "What, you don't like 'Blondie'?"
"Not particularly," Lucy muttered. "I can't very well call you 'Cobra' in there, so I'll have to use your real name. You'll need to do the same thing."
"Fine," Cobra sighed. "This fucking sucks… You know that, right?"
"You have no idea how much worse it's about to get… It shouldn't take you too long to see why I left this bullshit behind though."
"I already know," Cobra answered with a scowl. She'd been running through it all in her head since the day before. He'd had the great displeasure of hearing her nightmares of lonely halls and her father yelling at her for trying to get his attention. "And that is some of the most depressing shit I've ever heard. So stop thinking about it before I just slit my goddamn wrists right here."
"Ugh, you're such an asshole," Lucy hissed as they came closer to the open doorway. She reached down with her free hand and lifted her skirts so she could walk up the grand staircase that led to the mansion's entrance without breaking her neck. When she took her first step, she couldn't help but notice how Cobra slowed down and gave her a little extra support for their journey up to the door. "If we're married, then—"
"Yeah, yeah," Cobra huffed. "I've gotta at least pretend to like you."
"No," Lucy said, giggling when Cobra's head snapped over to look at her in confusion. "Marriages are usually financial transactions and contracts in high society. We can do this one of two ways without causing suspicion. Financial gain, or love. You choose. I will tell you that the first option means you can treat me however you want without anyone batting an eye, so you won't have to pretend you give a shit about me."
"You're fucking kidding me, right? What the hell is wrong with these people?"
"Choose quickly, Erik. We're almost there."
While neither of those options sounded particularly appealing, Cobra already knew how he would go about getting married if the opportunity ever arose—although he wasn't holding his breath on that one. "Love," he said. A genuine, rarely seen, smile pulled at his lips while he looked over to find her staring at him. "If I was gonna get married, I'd do it for love."
"That's… not the response I was expecting."
"Yeah, well… With my magic, it's not like that shit's gonna happen anyway," Cobra replied. "People are fucking disgusting deep down, or annoying as shit. Or both. Just a benefit of hearing someone's soul, I guess… I doubt I'd be able to fucking do it while constantly hearing just how fucked in the head someone is, but I'd have to love whoever I married if I was gonna put up with their shit."
That was really what it all boiled down to for him. His magic always let him hear the worst in people, especially in women he might be interested in. He never pursued them because of it. They just sort of fell into his life for awhile, and then they were gone once he got tired of hearing just how depraved they were. But if he was really going to take that plunge, if he was really going to commit his life to someone else, then there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it. Mental stability issues aside, Cobra was loyal. He always had been. He hadn't found a woman yet who felt the same way about that, though. The day he did, nothing stop him from making her his. He wouldn't let someone like that slip through his fingers.
"Well, this means you'll have to act like you love me. You know that right?" Lucy asked softly. He nodded just enough for her to see it. "PDA is frowned upon. So, it's not like we'll have to worry about that. Although, you'll want to cut the swearing down to a minimum… Like, none."
"Got it. Not making any promises," he chuckled. "But we'll see what happens."
Lucy took a deep breath once they reached the top of the stairs. "Is Racer already inside?"
Cobra sent his magic out and searched for the familiar buzzing sound that accompanied Racer's soul, then nodded again. "You ready?"
"No," Lucy whispered with a frown. Her eyes shot up to Cobra's face when he gently touched her gloved hand on his elbow, and she couldn't stop her cheeks from flaring to life when he grinned down at her. "Guess I'll just have to suck it up, huh?"
"Pretty fucking much, Blo—Lucy."
"A for effort," Lucy giggled as they made their way into the party.
An hour. One single fucking hour at that godforsaken party, and Cobra had an intimate understanding of just what Lucy meant by the night only getting worse. Even if he hadn't been able to hear what those around him were thinking—which ranged from men fantasizing about her in some seriously disgusting kinky shit, to women whose heads were filled with nothing but dresses and jewelry—the conversations he'd been forced into had been some of the most pointless bullshit he'd ever had to endure.
It was apparently one huge dick measuring contest where the men were concerned. The women all wanted to know how much money he came from, why he'd chosen Lucy of all people when her father's business failed nearly eight years ago, and how sure he was that he didn't want to ditch her and take them into a back room for a good fuck.
And the fucking costumes! He was suddenly extraordinarily thankful that he'd been adamant about his no tights policy. He was the most normal fucking guy there, and it had everything to do with the fact that his dick wasn't being strangled by spandex.
Then there was the party's host. Lord Dumbass, as he had been quietly dubbed by Cobra—and whose nickname was cause for a happy giggling fit from Lucy when he'd whispered it to her as the man approached—was the most perverse and persistent bastard there was. The shitstack had all but openly told Lucy to go up to his office so his ancient ass could bang her brains out, and when she had refused and clutched herself tightly to Cobra's arm, it had somehow taken everything in the normally detached Slayer to suppress a wholly possessive growl.
Granted, the guy had been staring at Lucy's tits the entire time he was speaking to her, and had actually commented—out fucking loud—on the fact that he was glad that guild she was a part of had finally disbanded. Cobra was a great many horrible things, but even he had enough class to keep the comments about Fairy Tail to a minimum of exactly fucking zero. That bastard thought he was untouchable, but the way Lucy's soul wailed at the mention of her old guild, only to be intentionally squashed by her and shoved into some small box labelled Do Not Ever Fucking Think About This Again and tucked into a dark corner of her psyche, just made Cobra angry.
Painfully angry. But he had to control himself, which only made him more pissed.
And now, here they were, explaining for the millionth time to the dumb fucksicle, their 'carefully crafted' history—a term he used very lightly, because they hadn't thought of it before getting to the party, and both of them had been making shit up on the fly all night.
"We met just after Fairy Tail was disbanded," Lucy said as she laid her head on Cobra's shoulder. "Before I started working for the real estate company in Crocus, I was waitressing in a small diner in Oshibana to save up some money and move to the capital."
"Yep," Cobra said with a smirk down at her. "I had just finished a mission for the mayor, and decided to grab a bite to eat before heading out of town. And there she was. All sunny smiles and beautiful, bright eyes. Lucy took my breath away, and I still haven't figured out how to get it back."
"You're such a sweetheart, Erik." Lucy blushed and giggled when his lips brushed across her forehead, and she looked back toward Lord Aurus. "One thing led to another, and we got married just last week. We'll be going on our honeymoon in a few days."
"And what did you say your last name was, young man?" Lord Aurus asked. "It's been going around that you actually took her name…"
"I did," Cobra stated. "My family's name doesn't have the best history behind it, so I've distanced myself from it as much as possible by forgoing its use altogether. When we got married, she offered to give me her last name, and I accepted. Jude was a great man when he was still in his prime, so I'd rather be a Heartfilia than nameless altogether."
"I wouldn't say Jude was a great man, necessarily," Lord Aurus chuckled. "If he was, then he would have accepted my offer to marry Lucy years ago before she got mixed up in that guild, and his business wouldn't have failed so miserably. It is a shame that sweet wife of his died so suddenly."
'You stupid son-of-a-bitch. Don't talk about my fucking parents that way! You have no idea just how fucking close I am to ripping that stupid moustache off your goddamn face and making you eat it until you choke to death. So fucking lucky I have to stay undercover, or you'd be getting your ass handed to you right fucking now…'
"She was quite the sight to behold at functions, and I can only assume she was a wonder behind closed doors."
'No, Capricorn, just stay there. It's alright, you don't need to open your gate to punish him, Virgo. He's just saying that about Mama to get a rise out of me, and I won't let him win. Just relax, guys. I'm fine… And I'll be even better when I've pulled his bottom lip up over his shitty little pugface and stapled it to his fucking scrotum!'
Cobra listened to Lucy's soul roar as though it was a caged animal just trying to break free. He heard the barest remnants of her spirits' voices while they tried to calm her down—something he found to be really fucking creepy, since he hadn't known Celestial mages could communicate with their spirits that way—and even felt Lucy's grip on his arm tightening as the seconds ticked by. The never-ending well of pain from her past started overflowing, punctuated with the deepest sadness he'd ever encountered in a person. But instead of falling into a depressed little ball of tears like he would have expected, Lucy's anger surged forth from the depths of her soul, screeching like a fucking banshee.
He had to hand it to her, she had some impressive self-control, considering he would have already tackled Lord Dumbass and killed the shit out of the mouthy fuck if he was in her shoes.
"Don't you agree, Lucy?" Lord Aurus asked with a sickly sweet smile.
"I—" Lucy said, only to freeze when Cobra cut her off with a growl.
"I'm pretty sure the only one here that agrees with your arrogant bullshit is yourself," Cobra said, keeping his voice low enough that he didn't draw any attention to their conversation. "Think all you fucking want about how much better you are than everyone here, but don't…" He paused and leaned in just a little closer while a snarl pulled at his lip. "Don't ever talk about my wife's family that way."
"Erik, stop," Lucy whispered while pulling on his arm. Well, she wasn't pulling all that hard. There was a pretty big part of her that wanted him to go full-Cobra on this asshole.
"Jude Heartfilia was one of the most intelligent and dedicated men I've ever met, and his business would never have failed in the first place if it wasn't for egotistical bastards like you that forced him into mountains of debt with your backwards ass contracts that actually cost him money when a marriage proposal was refused," Cobra said.
Was it his fault that, during that whole Infinity Clock thing, he'd gotten bored while searching through the Heartfilia Konzern, and had actually broken into Jude's safe that was tucked behind a portrait of him and his wife in the main hall? It was a pretty ingenious spot. No one would expect a person to put their most prized possessions right in front of the goddamn door. The safe in his office was empty, and seemed like it had been for some time. Same as the one in the master bedroom.
But Cobra had gotten a chance to read through the papers that had been hidden. The contracts that Jude had refused for Lucy's hand in marriage. If he'd read closely enough, Jude would have seen the fine print that fucked him over time and again before signing the refusals.
"And Layla," he continued. "How fucking dare you talk about her that way? That woman was a goddamn angel, in every fucking sense of the word, and you should feel lucky that your pathetic ass was able to be in the same goddamn room as her. She was more than just a pretty face and huge tits."
Cobra had also gotten to look at Layla's diary while Midnight was creating Imitatia from that creepy little fucking doll of Lucy's. From what he'd read, Layla loved with all her heart. She constantly wrote in her diary about Lucy and Jude, about her spirits and how she hoped Lucy would become a mage. Worst of all though, was what he'd learned about her sacrificing her life to bring the Dragon Slayers from the past. She'd done it to save the world, apparently, and to save Lucy from carrying the burden of being a Heartfilia.
From what he'd read in that single book, Layla was the kind of woman he would fall for. Loyal to the ones she loved, willing to die for them. And most likely fucking insane, because who in their right mind would use their life to bring some brats from the fucking past?
"She was sweet and intelligent—more than anyone except Jude gave her credit for—and she her passing was a fucking travesty," Cobra finished.
"Clearly, you don't realize just who you're speaking to," Lord Aurus hissed.
"I know exactly who the fuck I'm speaking to. You, on the other hand, have no goddamn clue who the fuck I am, you pompous sack of Vulcan jizz. So, if I hear even one more thought from you about Lucy—whether it's how you wanna stick that pathetic lump you call a dick between her tits and cum all over her face, her parents, or even what you're thinking right now about how badly you want to call security and have my ass removed just so you can take her upstairs and do whatever the fuck you want with her—I will literally poison your whole family and then eat your goddamn face in front of everyone here."
"How dare you—" Lord Aurus spat. His face paled when the maroon-haired man's lips curved into a terrifying, insane grin.
"I told you my family doesn't have the best history, but I never said I didn't help make that history. You really don't want to find out what that is firsthand. Are we fucking clear?" When the little cockgoblin just kept vehemently shaking his head, his face growing redder by the second in his anger, Cobra let out a low growl.
"Erik, that's enough," Lucy said with a little more force. "Please…"
"Keep this shit up," he whispered, never taking his gaze from the noble. "Cause a fucking scene, and kick our asses out. I'll make sure everyone in the goddamn country knows about just how young you like your whores to be, you twisted fuck. And where you send them when you're done using them. Don't fucking underestimate me, because I'm not above ruining your whole goddamn existence until you're begging me to fucking kill you. Now turn the fuck around, and go bother someone else. If I have to look at you much longer, I really am gonna eat your face."
Lucy's jaw dropped when Lord Aurus turned and hightailed it as far from them as he possibly could. She heard Cobra sigh, and slowly turned her head to look up at the familiar scowl on his face while he scanned the crowd. "You… didn't have to do that," she whispered shakily.
She was definitely curious how he had come to those conclusions about her parents, but decided to just leave it alone for the time being. There would be time for questions about that later.
"I did," Cobra said, his frown deepening. "Do you have any idea how high pitched your soul gets when someone talks shit about your family?"
"… No?"
"Too fucking high… And loud," Cobra said softly. He turned to look at Lucy's confused expression, and smirked. "Besides, what kind of husband would I be if I let some asshole think about my wife that way?"
It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he'd gotten genuinely fucking pissed over Lucy being upset. Nothing at all.
Her eyes widened and a deep blush rushed through her cheeks. "A pretty shitty one, I suppose," she finally said. "That doesn't mean you had to threaten him with cannibalism."
"Ah, but that's where you're mistaken," Cobra said. "In my experience, cannibalism is the most effective way of shutting people the fuck up."
"Touché," Lucy giggled. "Thanks, Erik… That was actually kind of sweet, in your own fucked up way."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Aww, don't play shy," Lucy crooned as they started making their rounds through the crowd again. "You're just a big ol' sweetheart under all of the grumpy faces and death threats."
"Nope."
"Liar."
"Watch it or I'll eat your fucking face."
'I'd rather he eats something els—Oh, shut up brain!'
Cobra smirked while he turned away to see if he could spot Racer somewhere in the crowd. 'Right there with you,' he thought.
"No. Absolutely not," Cobra sneered.
"We have to," Lucy insisted as the violins started playing a familiar tune. "It's part of being at one of these parties."
"Not. Fucking. Happening."
Lucy sighed and leaned closer to whisper in Cobra's pointed ear. "It'll be suspicious of we don't dance, Erik. Especially since that's what we're dressed up as."
"I fucking hate you..."
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
"Really? Of all the songs, you bastards chose this one?" Cobra spat quietly as he listened to the woman begin singing from beside the full fucking orchestra. Honestly, what the fuck was she trying to say?
Lucy laughed and shook her head. "Come on, Erik. Dance with me."
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast
Cobra's eye went wide when Lucy gently placed her hand in his, and he tried to pull it away only for her to grasp it even tighter than before. "Wait... I, uh... I don't know how to dance."
Lucy smiled sweetly and carefully pulled Cobra through the crowd with her as she led him to the dance floor. "It's not that hard. I'll teach you."
"You're so dead after this," he hissed. Why couldn't he get her to just let him go? He didn't want to fucking dance. Especially not in front of a bunch of pompous cockgoblins like these people. He wasn't lying though. Cobra had never danced in his life. He'd never wanted to, and even if he had, the opportunity had never come up.
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Cobra followed Lucy out into the center of the dance floor that was, of course, completely cleared of all the other partygoers. One glance around, and he realized that the other guests were surrounding the dance floor to watch him make an ass out of himself.
Oh, he was going to poison the first motherfucker who thought even one shitty thing. That was for sure.
Lucy smiled as she turned to face Cobra, and finally noticed the tension in his jaw that showed he was actually nervous. "Don't worry," she whispered and placed her right hand in his left, pulling it up into the proper position. As he gulped and looked from her hand up to her face, Lucy carefully took his right hand and settled it on the small of her back.
"Yeah? Why not?" Cobra whispered when Lucy looked up into his eye again and took a step closer. Her left hand lightly caressed his arm up to his shoulder, and it took everything in him to suppress a surprisingly arousing shiver.
"You'll see," she giggled as she started leading him in a slow circle around the dance floor.
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Cobra looked from his feet up to her face as they continued with their measured steps, and smirked when he saw the surprised, but no less pleased, look she gave him. Even without being able to hear her thoughts, he knew that he was throwing her for a loop by not stepping all over her feet. "Just keep thinking about what the fuck I'm supposed to do, and we'll make it through this shit without me killing everyone in here."
Lucy nodded and did as he said, playing over this exact scene from the movie when Belle had danced with the Beast, instead of just counting through the steps like she'd been doing before.
"Really?" Cobra snorted. "You've got the movie memorized?"
"Quit your bitching. This is helping you out, remember?" What she could only call a pout crossed his face for the briefest of moments, and all she could do was let out another soft laugh.
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
After a few more turns, Cobra realized that they were doing the exact same steps over and over, and all he had to do was lead Lucy around the floor. He had seen people dancing before, just like this in fact, so a little inventiveness on his part paired with Lucy's own knowledge of dancing would make this a whole lot easier.
"I've got this shit," he chuckled. "You can stop watching movies in your head."
Lucy raised her eyebrow at Cobra as he grinned down at her and took the lead. He moved them in a slightly wider circle than before, sending her gown fanning out and a light laugh falling from her lips.
Cobra was actually a natural at leading.
With the slightest bit of pressure on her waist, Lucy blushed as she unfurled herself from him and glided effortlessly out to his left, her arm gracefully stretching out to her side and mirroring his right arm.
Cobra took a small step closer, then lifted their joined hands in the air and watched as she twirled in place with more refinement and grace than he thought was humanly possible. They slowly returned to their original position, with both mages unconsciously standing just a little closer than before as they looked deeply into each other's eyes.
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Lucy let out a small squeak of alarm when Cobra's hands gripped her waist just before she was lifted into the air. Her hands drifted to his shoulders as he spun around, sending her gown fluttering gracefully through the air. Lucy giggled when she saw him openly smiling up at her, and felt her cheeks heating up while Cobra slowly lowered her to the ground again.
He really did have a nice smile, she realized. It had made an appearance only twice that night, but right then he looked as though he was actually enjoying himself.
Without thinking, Cobra pulled Lucy to his chest, and heard her breathing stutter as they started dancing again. "I am," he whispered.
Before he could even begin to lower his head and finally just kiss her, Lucy sighed happily and laid her head on his chest. Instead of lifting her chin up and doing what he really wanted to, Cobra simply nestled his nose in her pinned hair, taking in the unique lily scent that came from the woman in his arms while they continued dancing, and noticing there wasn't any residual chemical scent of hair dye from the change in her appearance.
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
"Did you know he could dance like that?" Meredy whispered with wide eyes as all of Crime Sorciere stood just outside, each of their faces pressed to the glass along the back wall of the mansion that gave them the perfect view of the dance floor.
"I didn't know he was capable of smiling without looking like he's about to kill something," Angel said in wonder. "Well, except when Cubellios was still around..."
"Sure he can," Midnight yawned. "Cobra... Wait, what?!" His eyes shot open and he pressed his face to the glass again. He watched Cobra say something to Lucy only for the both of them to laugh. It wasn't his normal laugh either, not the one that sent chills down your spine and promised hours of being tormented by the psychotic bastard. No, this one was completely different. It was oddly reminiscent of the way he used to laugh when they were in the Tower and Cubellios would wriggle through his clothes to tickle him. "That's the scariest face I think he's ever made..."
"No kidding," Jellal whispered. "He looks normal..."
"How is that a bad thing, exactly?" Meredy asked. "They look like a cute couple that's totally in love!"
"Sure," Midnight nodded. "The only problem is... If Cobra can make that face at will, no one would realize he's got a screw loose."
"Not until he's standing over their nearly dead body," Jellal shuddered.
"That's true," Angel whispered. Her jaw dropped when Cobra twirled Lucy under his arm then lifted her into the air again. "It's almost sweet though... Oh, nevermind, he's staring at her chest."
"I don't blame him," Midnight said, wincing when both Angel and Meredy smacked him in the back of the head, causing his face to smack against the glass. "What? I'm just saying, her chest is right in front of his face!"
Jellal sighed and shook his head. "Midnight, we need to talk about these nosebleeds of yours."
"This one is their fault," Midnight grumbled as he felt to make sure his nose wasn't actually broken.
"Are you sure you're not just saying that to hide the fact that you're still thinking about Lucy's red lingerie from yesterday?" Hoteye chuckled.
A loud thud caused the guild members to pull their heads away from the glass and whirl around, ready to fight against the dark guild they were supposed to be searching for. When no immediate threat was found, they looked at each other in confusion, then down at the ground to see Midnight's eyes rolled back in his head while a steady stream of blood leaked from his nose.
"Okay, I was wrong," Jellal said, cringing. "That is the creepiest smile I've ever seen in my life..."
Meredy laughed and turned back to look at the mages inside. A dreamy sigh escaped her as they practically floated across the dance floor with each other. Something in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and Meredy quickly turned only to drop to the ground, holding her stomach from bursting at the seams while she laughed.
"What is it?" Hoteye asked. His gaze followed Meredy's pointing finger to where Midnight had been standing previously, and he doubled over in laughter when he saw a clear imprint of the Reflector mage's makeup—from his white powder to his lipstick and even his eyeliner—on the glass.
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
Lucy spun slowly under Cobra's arm, and looked up into the deep indigo eye that had held her captive through the entire dance. When she was pressed flush against his chest, her breath hitched as his hand left hers to drift across her bare shoulders.
Cobra had seen it done countless times, and while he'd previously thought it was cheesy and fucking dumb as hell, it just seemed like the right thing to do. He carefully dipped her voluptuous body down so Lucy was being cradled in his arms as the song came to an end, and found that the only sounds he could focus on while he looked at her were her racing heart, the fading music, and her soul.
There wasn't a whole lot going through Lucy's head at that point, aside from her own inner monologue of, 'Kiss me... Just fucking kiss me... Do it...' while Cobra held her above the ground.
She hadn't necessarily meant for him to hear her, and kind of forgot he could in the first place right then, but a small smile spread across her face when he chuckled softly and started to lower his head to hers. Lucy's eyes slid closed just as she felt his breath across her lips, her heart thundering loudly in her chest, and she lifted her left hand to his cheek.
A violent explosion shook the mansion just as Cobra was about to close that last millimeter of distance between their lips, and he quickly pulled Lucy to her feet when all of the windows running along the back wall shattered inward from the balcony.
'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! I shouldn't have used that spell. Break all the goddamn windows, Midnight. It'll distract them, Midnight. Genius fucking plan, Midnight. Shit, was Meredy screaming just now? Oh, that's it, asshole. My makeup's smudged, and I'm going to destroy these bastards! Have some fucking nightmares, motherfuckers!'
Cobra ignored Midnight's irate thoughts and quickly whirled in place, tucking Lucy into his chest to shield her from the raining shards of glass as the other party guests shrieked in terror. His thoughts had always been self-deprecating, but fucking hell. It had been a long time since hearing such a long string of curses from the Reflector mage.
"What's happening?" Lucy whispered urgently. She tried to wriggle free from Cobra's grip, and huffed when he held her tightly in place.
"Quit fucking squirming," Cobra growled. "I'm covered in glass, so chill the fuck out. Far as I can tell, they were outside." He slowly removed his arms from around Lucy's shoulders, then took a step back and shook the glass from his hair.
"You didn't have to do that, Erik," Lucy said with a scowl as they started making their way through the screaming guests. She couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at the level of theatrics some of them were using for a simple cut on the cheek or a tear in their outfit.
"Yeah, well next time you're about to get your face and shit all cut up by glass, I'll be sure to jump out of the way," Cobra shot back. He caught a group of mages dragging several guests away from the party on the edges of his hearing, and grabbed Lucy's hand, pulling her with him down a corridor. "C'mon. They've got it handled out there."
Lucy frowned and looked back to the main hall just in time to see the rest of Crime Sorciere jumping in through the shattered windows and rushing off to take out the other dark guild mages who zipped around the party, slashing at the socialites with daggers and swords and charring magic that sent one woman's head rolling across the floor. She roughly plowed right into Cobra's back when he suddenly stopped.
The ceiling collapsed right in front of them a moment later, blocking their path just as Cobra was about to send out an attack to take the group out quickly. "Fucking bullshit," he snarled. "It's gonna take too long for me to break through this."
"You can hear them, right?" Lucy asked as she quickly surveyed the impromptu blockade.
"Yeah, do you wanna call Virgo to break this down? They're heading downstairs." Suddenly, her insistence that he learn about her spirits' abilities wasn't such a bad idea.
"I could, but I've got a better idea. Follow me." Lucy let go of Cobra's hand and spun on her heel, then ran in the opposite direction until she reached a small, nearly unnoticeable door between two extravagant paintings. She lifted her skirt and took a step back, then gave the plain wooden obstacle a swift Lucy Kick that knocked it off its hinges.
"That explains why Meredy didn't want you to kick her again," Cobra chuckled. "Where are we headed?"
'Servants entrances run all over these places.' Lucy grinned back at the Poison Slayer. 'All we need to do is find a staircase that leads down to the next level, then you can point us in the right direction.'
"Look at you, Miss—" Cobra said, only to pause and pull Lucy to a dead stop just before she reached the end of the thin hallway they were running down. Not a moment later, three hulking men in black cloaks came rushing out of an adjacent hallway, and Cobra quickly channeled his Sound magic to amplify their thundering footsteps to take them out.
"Well, fuck..." Lucy panted. She winced when the corset kept her lungs from expanding as much as they needed to. "Your... magic is... pretty handy."
Cobra frowned when he heard how labored Lucy's breathing had become, but she just kept running as soon as she saw that the coast was clear. Just how the hell she was able to manage getting all of that damn fabric through the thin hallways, or make such sharp, quick turns in heels that were apparently—according to her inner tirade—squeezing her tighter than a prepubescent boy the first time he gets to second base, was far beyond Cobra's comprehension.
Just the simple fact that she was keeping all the bitching she was doing to herself and pushed past how uncomfortable she was, had the smallest sliver of respect for her blooming in him.
Another turn, then another. Finally, Lucy rounded one last corner and screamed in surprise as she ran right into a pencil thin man that was coming up a set of narrow stairs. He toppled over, dragging her with him, and Lucy wrapped her arms around her head while they plummeted to what she was assuming would be the place she died.
Cobra paused at the top of the stairs, and watched with no small amount of amusement as Lucy rolled down. He doubled over and cackled like a madman with each grunt and groan the guy she had inadvertently tackled let out.
They finally came to a stop at the bottom of the staircase, and Lucy lifted her head to apologize to what she had assumed was a servant, only to find a disgusting cretin of a man with oily brown hair and bright yellow serpent eyes staring up at her, a wide and malicious grin on his pockmarked face. She tried to pull herself away from him, then scowled when he trapped her arms at her sides.
"Well, hey pretty la—"
Cobra's laughter died in his throat when there was a masculine grunt followed by a loud crunching noise and a garbled scream, and then silence. He rushed down the stairs to see what he'd missed while he was effectively losing his shit over Lucy's sudden interest in tumbling, only to find her pulling herself to her feet and wiping blood from her forehead. "What the hell happened?"
"He wouldn't let me go, so I grabbed his balls and headbutted him... I apparently broke his nose." Lucy sighed as she adjusted her dress, then scowled down at the little fucker that passed out from the pain. She stepped on his nuts, then twisted her foot. Twice. "Creepy little fuck," she grumbled.
Cobra slowly picked his jaw up from the floor, then discreetly adjusted the sudden tent that had popped up in his pants before Lucy turned her scowling face to him. "You done manhandling his dick, or do you need a minute?" he asked blandly, only to snort when she turned and kicked the downed man between the legs.
Lucy nodded and said, "Now I'm done. Lead the way, so we can find the rest of these guys."
Cobra sent his magic out and located the hostages, then grabbed Lucy's hand again and started running. It didn't take long for them to catch up to the five mages that were dragging three women down the hallway toward a large door at the end. Cobra chuckled and sent out a wave of poison to knock the guests out and startle the enemies.
The women collapsed to the ground in an instant, but Lucy was more focused on the five men that ditched them to run through the door. "I'm assuming you didn't kill them," she said as they vaulted over the prone bodies in gowns.
"Just knocked out." Cobra groaned in frustration when well over two dozen servants came rushing out of the room, and he shouldered past them as quickly as he could manage while keeping a firm grip on Lucy's hand so they wouldn't get separated.
'I wonder how he'll want to handle the fight. Cobra could probably just take them all on his own, but I want to help. I have to prove that I belong with Crime Sorciere.'
"We'll split them depending on where they're at," he said, sending her a wicked grin. "Don't worry, I don't plan on letting your ass sit this one out."
"Good," Lucy laughed. 'That's definitely different... The team never let me do anything on my own...'
"That would be because they're fucking retarded. Now shut up and focus."
Lucy scowled at him as they reached the door. "You're talking more than I am," she hissed. When Cobra rolled his eye and opened his mouth to start arguing, she frowned and flicked his nose. Then had to stifle her laughter when he stared at her in shock.
Lucy silently motioned to the door, insisting that he take the lead, and took a step back when crimson tendrils of poison started leaking off of his hands.
This is obviously longer than the first chapter, but for those of you who have already read the older version of this story, I'm sure you understand why I cut it off here. I hope you like the little additions on how Cobra knew those things about Jude and Layla. I'd missed a really good opportunity the first time around by not going into detail on that.
