So...I kind of wasn't expecting this reaction to my teaser. It was surprising to say the least. Not that I'm ungrateful! I appreciated every single one of your reviews. And I'm truly sorry I didn't respond to every single one of you. I had to finish a TOK presentation and my science fair project, along with various papers and whatnot. In short, I've been busy. But, it looks like I found a spare moment or two and was able to write an update. I hope you guys like it.
Special thanks to: babyshan211, Danielle Salvatore, Vamp123, Ash, izzyjayne, Fanaddict15, TriGemini, Lara, JennaLeigh, Darkness-Princess-Kit, Cori-Ackles, Rapid Squirrell, mkfkd, BamonLover!, lilly, and Brianna-May Sims for reviewing this story so far. I appreciate it so, so much. Thank you guys!
Three years ago
She stared blankly at the look on his face. She could feel it deep down, deep in her bones or her soul, that whatever he was about to say to her would change things forever. Her heart sped up in anticipation. She just wanted him to say it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. But then again, a part of her wanted him to wipe the solemn look off his face and smile one of his rare grins. She was looking for reassurance, albeit in all the wrong places. There was none to be found, of course.
Swallowing, she crossed the street to meet him. He waited patiently with his hands in his pockets. The wind flew across them and her hair swept past her breast to lay across her shoulder blades. It was cool out, a nice day to spend by the pool or at the park. The wind and the sun, just the way the clouds looked in the sky, reminded her of her childhood with Elena. She wished she was eight years old again, unaware of vampires and their ancient baggage. She wished for anything but this silent misery always greeting her when she saw him.
She stopped a few feet in front of him, wary of his serious aura. Damon was rarely serious, and it scared her. Unsure of herself, she shifted her weight from her left foot to the right. She waited for him to speak first. She wanted the answers, she didn't want to ask the questions.
Damon chose to take pity on the much younger witch. "I'm leaving," he told her, finally ripping off the metaphorical band-aid.
Bonnie tried to respond, but all she could only nod slowly. She was processing the two words, trying to make sense of them. It didn't matter what she did, though. They didn't make sense. They couldn't. How could he be leaving Mystic Falls? Better yet, how could he be leaving her after everything that had happened?
"Oh," she muttered quietly. The vampire caught it without strain.
Uncharacteristically, or perhaps completely in character, Damon lifted his hand to brush a stray tendril of Bonnie's hair behind her ear. He stared down at his little witch and wondered why saying goodbye was so difficult when it had never been before. He hadn't felt anything for anyone since Katherine. He couldn't let himself feel something for this girl, this child above anything else.
"Don't fret, little witch. There are an astonishing amount of brooding human boys waiting in the wings. You'll move on and find someone 'right' for you."
She could feel the tears threatening to pool over. She felt like a little girl, trying to convince her mother to let her keep the puppy she'd stumbled upon. "Why do you have to leave?" Her voice cracked as she asked the question.
He half-smiled at her and the look would have taken her breath away if she didn't need it so badly. "I don't have a reason to stay."
If she had never been sure about anything before, she was completely positive that her heart had never hurt as bad as it did then. She didn't feel whole anymore, but rather a faint version of herself. Nothing physical had hurt as much as the way his few words did. She wanted to crawl into bed and just cry herself to sleep.
"Not even me?" she wanted to ask him. But she didn't.
Damon stroked the side of her face. "I'll promise you something. I won't come back here and I won't look for you. Believe me when I say you're better off without me."
"Can I ask you something?" She didn't wait for him to say yes. "Did you ever love me?"
He wasn't surprised by her question. In fact, he was expecting it. Of course his little witch would want to know the answer. He'd never told her before, though she had secretly hoped and wondered if his feelings mirrored her own. She was sure it was impossible for this particular Salvatore to love anyone but the ruthless bitch who had left him in agony for years.
Damon looked her in the eyes, kissed her forehead as if he were Stefan and not himself, and pulled back slowly. "You don't want the truth, Bonnie."
"I don't want you to go."
"Look, I can't stay here." He put his hands on her arms and said, "Forget everything about me, Bonnie. Forget what I've done, what I've said. Just forget that I was ever here. You deserve to be with someone who can do the things I can't. You've always wanted to be normal. This is how it has to be."
She was trembling beneath his touch, because she knew that this would be the last time she'd ever see Damon Salvatore. The tears finally fell and for the last time, he stroked them away. "I love you," she choked out.
He smiled. "I know."
Then he was gone. And his little witch fell to her knees.
She remembered the way she felt when he left her, how she believed that he'd never come back. And here he was, standing right in front of her, smirking and talking to her the way he had when she first met him. She was afraid again, and very unsure of herself.
"I have to go," she said, the shock that she had followed him finally sinking in.
He dropped the act and stood in front of her, blocking her exit the way a brick wall would. Still much shorter than him, she stared at his chest and waited for him to say something or move out of her way.
"I shouldn't have left."
And there it was, the truth. Black and white and gray all at the same time. She wasn't sure what to feel. Anger. Love. Confusion. Everything all at once in swirls and hues of fear. She wished she was as fast as he was so she could run away and keep going, not thinking and not facing the situation.
"Okay," she said, trying to keep the overflow of emotions at bay.
Damon briefly looked at the ground. "Okay? That's it?"
"What else do you want me to say?"
"I don't know, Bonnie. I just want you to feel something. You should be angry with me, you should be pissed off. I (left) you and I told you I would never come back. Why aren't you yelling at me?" It was evident that Damon Salvatore was confused as hell, questioning why his little witch was so insecure, so lost. He knew where the blame lay, but he couldn't admit it aloud.
"I'm not angry, Damon." She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. She put a hand on his chest and he didn't know how it was, but he felt cold and empty. "This is how I feel. This is what you left behind, Damon. So I'm not angry with you. You were right to leave. But you shouldn't have come back."
He hurt. He'd never felt pain the way he was feeling it now, but it hurt so damn much that he just wanted it to go away. He staggered back and stared back at the girl with the emotionless eyes. When the pain left and he returned to himself, he reached out for her again, only to watch her take a step back.
"You shouldn't have come back," she repeated again.
"Bonnie, I - "
She turned around to look at the spinning Ferris wheel. "I have to go. Please don't follow me."
He obeyed her request and hung back, watching her walk away from him much like the way he walked away from her three years ago. It hurt to see her leave him and he could only imagine the way she felt when he left her. It amazed him that she had felt anything for him, but more than that it amazed him that she didn't know when she put her hand on his chest, that there was a slight, slight sliver of desire, warmth, and love radiating towards him.
He vowed to himself, and to her, that he would grab that sliver and hold on for dear life.
It wasn't a matter of want, but of need. He needed to know that he could go back to the way things were, to hold onto what once was. He, Damon Salvatore, needed his little witch.
I was going to write more, but then I realized it was 10:19 and I hadn't even started my history homework. I have to be up by five and I have history first period. So, I'm sorry about this. I hope you review if you liked it, because I'm putting some time away tomorrow to answer your reviews. Suggestions welcome and praise/criticism is appreciated!
