Authors Note: Hey guys for now I skipped over all that time between the birthday party and other stuff. If you want me to go back just tell me so (;

I stood outside Bella's house. This was it. This was goodbye. No. I couldn't let myself think that way or else I'll never do this. I clenched my jaw to hide the pain before I released it.

"Come for a walk with me," I offered in a monotone voice.

I didn't let us get far from the house before I stopped us.

"Okay," she said slowly, "Let's talk."

I took a deep breath to steady myself.

What I was about to do I had thought about a million times. I had it dead set in my mind that never would I let Bella's life be jeopardized by my actions. I couldn't let that happen. I loved her so much; I had to let her go. There was no other way. Letting myself believe that would get me through this.

"Bella," I began. No other way.

"We're leaving."

She paused for a moment and then her heart sped a little, "Why now? Another year—"

"Bella," I cut her off, "It's time. How much longer can we stay in Forks, after all?"

To prove my point I added, "Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

I stared at her like I hated her. In reality it was I, I hated. I channeled that hatred towards her using all my strength to hide the undying love that was burning beneath.

Finally she realized my point, "When you say we—"she whispered in a small delicate voice.

"I meant my family and myself." I stated coldly.

She shook her at whatever she was thinking, which knowing Bella was probably the truth of the reason I was doing this. Part of me feared she'd see through me at any minuet and realize the love in my eyes. So far she hadn't.

"Okay," she said, "I'll come with you."

I countered that with, "You can't, Bella." I shook my head at her, "Where we're going…" Think of a lie. Don't falter. Hurry or she'll see through you. "It's not the right place for you." Good that should work.

"Where you are is the right place for me."

Crap.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." Not exactly a lie. I wasn't good for her.

"Don't be ridiculous," she squeaked, "You're the very best part of my life."

Shit that hurt. It felt like my un-dead heart was tearing. I couldn't do this… No you have too.

"My world is not for you." I snapped.

Lies, lies, lies. My world was all about her—every minuet of every day.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" She yelled hysteric.

"You're right," I agreed, "It was exactly what was to be expected." Not a lie and that made it hurt a little less.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay"—

My heart would have just torn in two if it could. I was hurting her. But I did that daily. I risked her life like some addicted gambler.

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted her.

"NO!" she screamed. "This is about my soul isn't it?"

"Carlisle told me about that," she ranted; fumed, "And I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

I looked at the ground. She was offering me everything I ever wanted. She was everything I ever wanted. In order to save her I needed to go away—away where I couldn't hurt her. Jasper. I shouted at myself. Remember that? It will only get worse with you here! You're not good for her! Not the other way around! LEAVE!

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke slowly, letting her take in the meaning.

"You…don't…want me?" Bella squeaked in a small voice.

"No." I lied.

She looked me in the eyes and I stared at her like the monster I was; unforgiving and unremorseful.

"Well," she said after a long pause, "That changes things."

I looked away into the trees so she couldn't see the pain in my eyes. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize it's time for a change. Because I'm…" madly desperately and uncontrollably in love with you and its killing me to leave, "tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I am a monster of the very worst kind even for doing this. "I've let this go on too long, and I'm sorry for that."

Lies, lies, and more lies. I would never be sorry for loving Bella. I would always treasure the moment's I would remember with Bella in my life. She was everything to me and soo much more. But I did need to end this. She would die and I wouldn't and couldn't be able to save her.

"Don't." her voice whispered full of pain, "Don't do this."

I already did.

"You're not good for me, Bella." I said repeating the words said earlier.

She opened her mouth as if to say something then shut it.

"If…that's what you want."

No. I nodded once.

Suddenly I remembered something I had promised myself to ask her before I left.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," it was already too much to ask.

I could see her eyes were watering threatening to over fill with moisture and I could see the pain not hidden or masked in her eyes. In that moment I saw every promise. Every whisper of "I love you"'s and "forever" flash back in my mind and my mask evaporated. NO! I harden my mask back into place before she could see anything.

"Anything," she vowed.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I begged. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded like a wooden puppet.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course," lies, "He need's you. Take care of yourself—for him." For me too I added mentally.

She nodded again, "I will," she whispered.

I relaxed a little. And then I remembered my side of the bargain.

"And I will make you a promise in return," I vowed, "I promise that this will be the last time you see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be like I never existed."

Her knees started to wobble a little and, scared, I added a gentle smile, "Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more then a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" she retorted.

"Well," I paused slightly, "I won't forget." Ever. "But my kind…we're easily distracted." I smiled as if to prove my point. It was a smile like a signature on a death sentence.

I took a step away from her. Hating the movement.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back?" she squeaked.

I shook my head slowly. "No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" she said shocked.

"She wanted to say goodbye," that was not a lie. Alice nearly bit my head off when I told her no.

"But I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

Her eyes glazed over for a moment and I was afraid she was having a seizure or something but after a second they returned back to normal.

"Goodbye, Bella." I said in a small voice and turned to leave.

"Wait!" She cried stepping forward her hand reaching for me.

I'll never understand why that moment hurt so much worse then saying goodbye. It felt like Bella was slipping away from me and I gripped her wrists and pinned them to her sides. Before I could remember the warmth of her against me I bent down and kissed her forehead afraid that if I kissed her lips I wouldn't ever be able to leave.

Her eyes fluttered shut like usual and I sighed, "Take care of yourself," I breathed.

I let go of her all at once and turned. Before I could let myself turn around I ran, my legs pumping hard farther away from Bella.