The characters of Jadzia Dax, Odo, Kira Nerys, Benjamin Sisko, Jake Sisko, Nog, and Quark, not to mention the space station Deep Space Nine are not mine, as much as I'd like them to be. Legally they belong to Paramount. The characters you don't recognize are mine, however. Hahahahaha, finally, all mine. Oh, sorry.
Author's notes:This story came about from a roundtable story done between my best friend Kira and I. I really hope you enjoy it. I'd rate it PG because it does have some adult content in it, although it is tastefully done, much like the true series. The story is set somewhere in the fourth season, with fourth season spoilers. So if you haven't seen the fourth season eps. you better watch out. And not all of the fourth season is included, for those of you who want purity.
The title comes from Ode to Intimations of Immortality from Early Recollections of Childhood, by Wordsworth. I hope you'll be able to see how it fits in with the plot. Enjoy the story, and email me if you have any comments, flames, etc. My address is miyaka@gto.net.
Dedication:I'd like to dedicate this story to my friend Kira, without whom the Eysu Moraht would never have existed, and to all of my prereaders, without whom the story would not have existed. I'd also like to dedicate it to Eloise and Jimmy Hill, two people now gone but whom the world will always treasure.
The Faith That Looks Through Death
by Yuuki Miyaka
Chapter 2
"And since I was going to be in the area, I thought I might surprise you. I see that you have . . . guests?" The Bajoran's eyes opened wide, a situation that Odo and Dax were used to by now. She smiled and spoke calmly, though. "Odo? Dax? It's good to see you again. How did this happen?" The two shook their heads, and Ari spoke up.
"We think it has something to do with the SubGate, Katassa. But we can't be certain until a few more tests have been run. Jake's men and mine are both working on it. There's nothing else we can do, for now. Why don't you come aboard and greet our guests personally? For that matter, why don't you come aboard and greet the rest of us personally?" Katassa smiled at the last remark, a grin that seemed to encompass Ari and set him apart from the others.
"I think I will. Katassa out." Seconds passed, and she was standing in front of the group. The first person she went to was Ari, whom she hugged tightly. He held her with one arm while she said her hello's to everyone else, and Odo could see that they were a couple. Dax smiled at the sight, and even Odo felt a little better about talking to the Cardassian now. He was most likely a friend if both Jake and a Bajoran liked him.
"So, I want to hear all about this. There are several problems on the homeworld now, and the crises in the shipyards. If you expect your leave, Jake, Arys, get out now. Otherwise, I'm going to draft you and let you wait until your first anniversary to enjoy the merits of marriage." Jake and Arys grinned at each other, and set about discussing the situation in front of everyone else.
"What do you think, Arys? Can we afford to take leave right now?" Arys shook her head, sighing expressively.
"Jake, we are two of the founders of the Eysu. We can't just leave knowing that things may not be worth returning to. I guess marriage will have to wait until Aurahj is stable and the shipyards are free of sabotage." Her last words made Ari look up.
"Sabotage? I thought it was just a run of bad luck. But if it is sabotage, can we figure out who the traitor is, and who they're reporting to?" Arys nodded.
"That was my job until yesterday. Don't worry, the Cardassians are questioning the prisoner. With luck, they will extract the information without having to resort to Obsidian Order tactics. In the meantime, I decided to take a break and join Jake. My ship rendezvoused with the Hallider about four hours ago." She turned to Dax and Odo, and shook her head. "I'm assuming that the SubGate went through some sort of temporal anomaly. That must be why you're here. Let me bring you up to date.
"Basically, the Eysu Moraht, or Alliance of Hope in Terran, was created by Nog, Ari, Jake, Katassa, and I. Katassa's people have given us invaluable help in starting it, and our flagship, the Kumsahmi, was recently put out of commission by the Founders about three months ago. Cardassia and what's left of Bajor have a peace treaty that has lasted twenty years with only good results. Most of the races in the Alpha Quadrant, with the exception of the Romulans and the Klingons, are part of the Eysu."
Odo and Dax nodded, trying to assimilate the information. But something took Odo off guard. "What do you mean 'what's left of Bajor?'"
"Bajor was in a civil war about twenty-one years ago. They ended up in two major factions, one under Kai Winn, and one under Shakaar. Shakaar's group won, but not before Winn had managed to destroy all life on the planet. What's left of the homeworld is a sphere incapable of holding life of any sort. What's more, those on the planet contracted a terminal disease. They spread it to many of those on the station before we found a way to counteract its effects. Only about two hundred Bajora are still alive, and they are living on Deep Space Nine, which has become the new homeworld. Cardassia offered its support in helping the survivors. We took them up on it, and they've done well by us." Arys smiled sadly. Both officers could see the effort it took to talk about this tragedy.
Odo's throat tightened. He stared at the Bajoran admiral in panic. "What about Kira? Is she still alive?" Katassa and Arys looked at each other.
"Yes. The problem is, you're not."
Jake glanced around at all the decorations and almost laughed. It was more than a little gaudy at this dance, and yet in a way, Jake felt at home here. He supposed that it was due to his spending so much time at Quark's. He grinned, looking at Katassa and Ari, who were dancing, and then turned to see how Nog was doing. The Ferengi had been spending most of the night with two of his new companions, but he had not forgotten about his old friends. From time to time, Nog would join the rest of them for a chat. Only Arys was still missing. Jake was beginning to get worried. He had given her the dress an hour and a half ago, and had seen nothing of her since. The only time he had tried to enter her room, he was nearly electrocuted by all of the different booby-traps she had put up to keep the others out.
Jake raked his hand through his hair, sighing in frustration. He couldn't understand women, he decided. Finally the song ended, and Ari, Katassa, and Nog joined him. The three were chattering excitedly while he listened. Suddenly, all talk in his group ceased. He looked over to see what had happened, only to see Arys standing in the doorway, wearing the dress he had commissioned from Garak. Her black hair was pulled up in a mass of curls, and around her throat was a ring of Bajoran fire crystals. Jake caught his breath as she joined them, but when he looking into her eyes, he could see that she had not changed. She was still the one he had teased earlier that day.
"Hi, guys." Her eyes twinkled, and she nodded to each of them. "I see I'm the last one to get here. What do you think? Was it worth the wait?" Jake stared at her, unable to take his eyes away. Arys' eyes glittered with her amusement. Ari moved to take her arm, but Arys turned to Jake questioningly.
The two moved to the dance floor without a word spoken, and they danced just as silently. The dance lasted far too long for an ordinary song, but neither questioned it. When it was over, Jake and Arys left the auditorium. They walked along the near-silent garden, and Jake could tell he was waiting for something. But what he got was far from what he had expected.
"Jake," Arys said softly. "We have to talk. I've been wanting to tell you. I'm not going to return with the rest of you to the Academy." Jake stared at Arys in confusion, but she didn't meet his eyes. "Lieutenant Tuvok is going to recommend me to the Special Security Training Facility."
Jake knew all about the SSTF. Only the elite security students were invited to enter it, and it usually required an extra year of training. Many of the students had nicknamed it the "Barracks," but what was important to Jake was that forty percent of those who entered ended up unable to take the pressure, and left. No one could find them after they disappeared, but it was speculated that many joined the Maquis.
"I see." It was all Jake could say. Then, "have you told the others?" Arys shook her head and ran off. Jake closed his eyes in pain.
He was back in his room. But his pillow was wet with tears that he could not explain. Somewhere within him, he knew that she would make a good security officer, but he hated to see her leave the group. And the worst fact of all was the fact that none of it was real. It was all some sort of elaborate fantasy his mind had set up, though just why, he could not say.
He sat on the edge of his bed, his head hanging low, and he pondered all of the episodes which had occurred to work on his story, but after five minutes he threw the PADD down, and flung himself back onto the bed to stare hopelessly into space.
"What am I going to do?"
"We're not alive?" Dax asked that one, confused. Jake nodded and took over the explanation.
"In this time period, you and Odo are both dead. Odo died as a result of Kai Winn's attempted invasion of Deep Space Nine, and you, Jadzia, are now a man named Lenzar who swore vengeance for the death of Jadzia and her husband Julian. I know that's kind of hard to understand, but there was no way to stop either of you from dying. Believe me, we tried." Jake looked distinctly unhappy, and Dax sat down, for once her placid calm interrupted. Odo, unsure of how she would react, placed a hand on her shoulder. Dax did nothing.
"Well," Odo said gruffly, trying himself to understand what Jake had told him. "I guess the only question now is, how are we going to get back to our time?" Jake shook his head, and stared off into the shadows. Finally, Katassa cleared her throat.
"We could ask the Aurahj scientists for help. I'm sure they could come up with something. But it may take some time. I suppose, in the interim, you should keep them aboard this ship, Ari." Ari shook his head.
"I can't, love. I'm supposed to be going to Deep Space Nine to help Kira with preparations for the latest exploration into the Gamma Quadrant." Katassa sighed.
"Maybe they can help. But there is nowhere else for them to go, and until we find a way back, we can't risk them ending up with enemies. You know as well as I do that these two are a prime concern for the moment." Katassa raised an eyebrow, and Ari sighed.
"I still can't believe that you convinced me to come here." Arys stared at Risa ruefully, and Jake grinned. "I don't _like_ places like this."
"Well, you've found one way to have fun. I know that, Arys. Well, I'm gone. See you later." Jake ran off before she could convince him to let her leave. She definitely didn't belong, but how could she still be complaining after a week. Especially when she had found someone to keep her company. The worker stuck to her like glue, Jake noted with some annoyance.
Jake finally stopped running, a slight sheen of sweat coating his features. He turned around, and found Katassa staring at him. She looked worried, her delicate features tense with concern. "What is it, Katassa?" The Bajoran stood up a little straighter, almost as though she were reporting to him. Jake hid a smile.
"It's the Barracks, Jake. I was working with Marcus, and I managed to break into the main computer." Marcus had found Katassa her first day into the visit, and had been a constant companion ever since. It was ironic that he also loved hacking into other computers. "Jake, we have a problem."
Jake heard the panic in her voice, and swallowed. "What is it, Katassa?" Katassa nodded, but Jake could see there was more to what she had to say than just a report Arys. He straightened his shoulders, presenting the image of a commanding officer, and she responded in kind, seeming to draw strength from his own.
"It's common knowledge that forty percent of the student in the Barracks leave the campus because they cannot handle the workload. But, Jake, that is a lie. We were looking at the official reports, which agree with that image, and Marcus suggested looking into the student records for a more complete list of what they do. Jake, those students didn't leave campus ground. About twenty percent died accidental deaths. The other eighty were executed." Jake's eyes widened. "And Jake, that's not all. Several of the students who were executed at the beginning of last term visited Risa the vacation before."
Jake spun away from Katassa, and ended up back in his room. "Arys," he whispered softly.
Odo paced the length of the quarters he had been referred to, waiting anxiously to see what the four admirals had in mind. He thought of going to find Dax but knew that he was not really up to facing her. The thought of seeing Kira in this time period was so great he did not really care about anything else. He knew that she could not love him. The female changeling had been right. But above all, there was a distinct wish to see her again, no matter what else was true. He sighed.
An image of her rose up before him, and he waited silently for the moment to abate. He did not want to remember what she looked like when she smiled. He did not want to think of her at all, and yet she was the only thing he considered when he thought of going back to Deep Space Nine.
Reaffirming his decision to ignore the way he felt about her, he shook his head to the image and proceeded to a small mirror in the wall above his sink. He concentrated for long moments, then set about reshaping his nose. After an hour of work, all he had succeeded in doing was creating a nose that that looked as though it had been broken five or six times and left to heal. Odo slammed his fist down on the sink counter in frustration, then mentally reformed his unfinished nose. As he watched the nose grow back, Kira again flashed before him, and he turned away in agony. Losing control over his form, he sunk into a puddle of gold liquid, remembering all the times he had spent with her. And one phrase echoed in his thoughts.
"This is Odo . . . my lover." She had not meant it, of course. But it still stuck out. It still made him feel wistful and desperately unhappy. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to her. and he dreaded meeting her again, even as he longed for it.
Hours passed slowly, giving him ample time to think about her. Eventually he reformed himself, changing into inanimate objects at will. And a chime came from his door after he had given up even on that. "Come in," he said gruffly, and Dax complied.
"Odo?" Her voice was soft in the silence. She knew all about his changing, and he often wondered if she knew about his love for Kira. He would have liked to talk to her about it, but he could not quite bring himself to broach the topic. Dax continued finally. "I was wondering how you felt about this trip."
Odo grunted noncommittally, and Dax nodded. Her sage-like gaze held him pinned, and for a long moment he knew fear. Then the moment was gone, and she was Dax again, his friend. He had precious few of them.
"I'm a little worried. It will mean meeting our . . . replacements, so to speak. I'm not sure this should be happening."
Dax looked away, and for once, Odo could see that she was indeed frightened. He had only seen her that way once before. She had borne that look when Curzon Odo had told Jadzia that he wouldn't be returning. Odo knew how Curzon felt about Jadzia, and how well it had mirrored his own predicament. But Curzon had found the strength to tell Dax, something he could never do. "It's not StarFleet, is it?"
The question sounded harsh to his own ears, but Dax knew him. She knew that he didn't necessarily like Starfleet. There was a silent agreement from her, and he backed away from her concern. She might be his friend, but this was not what he could deal with. He did not know how to comfort. In the end, they simply stayed in each other's presence, and that was enough for Dax, he saw.
"It's going to be a delicate procedure, Jake. Especially without Katassa. I wish I knew where she was." Ari looked concerned, and Jake couldn't blame him. It was ironic that she should disappear now, when they were on the verge of freeing Arys from the Barracks. They had finally finished preparations, each of them knowing that they couldn't go off half-cocked. That would damage Arys far more than their rescue would help her. And so they had bided their time as they waited for transportation clearance and lodging acknowledgment to come through. Now, Jake nodded at his friend and tried to be strong for the others.
"We'll get Arys out of there, and then we'll find Katassa. It shouldn't be too hard. She must have left a trail somewhere. With Arys, we'll be able to find it." Jake plastered a grin on his face to show his followers, then turned to stare out at the stars. Worry crept back into his features. He was responsible for this group; he was the leader. If something happened to any of them, it would be on his head. His eyes clouded, and he blinked back tears. He could not afford to become emotional in front of these people. They were counting on him to be strong.
"All right. Let's go get Arys. You all know your assignments. Ari, since Katassa was supposed to be working near you, you will take over her actions as well. They corporate into your own nicely. Ari, Nog, I will see you soon, I hope. Dismissed." It was not until he had actually uttered the last word that he realized he sounded like a commanding officer. Perhaps something from his father had rubbed off, after all. They all scattered, each going their own way, and Jake watched them leave.
He headed off the other way, careful of the brush and foliage outside the Barrack's walls. But he wasn't careful enough, and a root caught him by surprise. The air flew out of him as he landed . . . .
. . . on the floor in his room. He gulped for a breath, amazed that he had fallen out of bed. The dream had been so real, the experience so fearsome that he was shivering. Getting up, he padded into the common room of the quarters he shared with his father and went to the replicator. "Ice water." The machine did as he asked, and he took the glass over to the couch.
"Did you make it, Arys?" Jake whispered the question. He didn't know what to do, what had happened. Something told him that she would be fine, but he knew that in his own time period she was dead. "Oh, Arys. Why did I have to meet you in a dream? I would have loved you. I swear I would." He seemed to see her image floating before him, seemed to hear her voice speaking to him.
"Follow your heart, Jake. Otherwise you will lose what you are meant to be." He knew she spoke from experience, but whose? Surely not his own, though the platitude was something he had heard all of his life. He considered waking his father, telling him about the dreams. So far, he had not confided in anyone, not even Nog. Something about the dreams was too personal to try to explain. He shied away from telling his father, though. The captain had been having a lot of trouble locating Odo and Dax, he had heard, and Jake didn't want to give his father anything more to worry about.
After thinking for a long time, he drew out his PADD, and continued the chronicle of his dreams. He wrote down everything as it had happened. Somehow, he managed to remember everything. When he was done, he looked back at the whole of the file, staring at how linear the story was. Some part of him thought, this would make a good fiction story. I could call it Friendship or something. He grinned, thinking about what changes he would have to make so that he wouldn't make anyone angry. And as morning came, he finally went back to bed and drifted off to sleep.
It had been two days. Two days the admirals had deliberated, and none of them had thought to tell Dax or Odo anything. The security chief was beginning to get annoyed with the situation, but Dax remained her calm self, always in control. The two of them had ended up having several meals together, not that Odo ever ate anything. But the conversation was interesting, at least, as they speculated over what was currently happening at Deep Space Nine.
"Do you think Kira will be able to keep Quark in line while you're gone?" Dax grinned at the constable, who snorted. (The mention of Kira was a spike in his heart, but he couldn't let her know.)
"Do you think that the science department will be able to get along without you?" he returned. She smiled her serene smile at him, and he nodded. "I thought so, Commander." Her eyes twinkled at the title.
"Odo, why won't you call me Jadzia?" Odo's eyes widened. She was looking at him in honest curiosity, and he found that he had no answer. He tried to temporize.
"I always thought that . . . I mean, I . . . ." he trailed off, not knowing quite what to say. She stared at him, a catlike gaze, and in that instant, he realized that he had never called anyone by their given names. No-one. Not even Kira.
"I'd really like it if you would . . . ." Dax trailed off as a communication came through the relay panel in the wall.
"Odo, Dax, please join us in the Officer's Lounge when you can. We have your assignment ready." The voice cut off, and the two officers looked at each other, all talk of names forgotten. For Odo, there was only one thing to think of now. He might see Kira again. And if that happened, then he could be satisfied. That was all that mattered.
They arrived at their destination moments later. Both inhaled deeply before signaling the door to open. When it did, they could see the four admirals gathered together. Both were coupled, obviously enjoying this time spent in each other's company. It was painfully obvious to the lieutenant-commander and constable that this didn't happen often. The four turned to face them, and smiled in a reassuring fashion. Neither Dax nor Odo were comforted.
"I'm sure you're ready to hear your assignment, but would you like something to drink first?" Jake asked politely. Each of them shook their heads. "All right. We've decided that Deep Space Nine really does need the extra hands. Certainly Kira can use every able-bodied worker she can get her hands on. You will be helping her while we research your problem and try to find a way to deliver you home. When we do send you back, we will inject an amnesia drug concocted by the Vidiians into your system. It should help to keep your memories of this experience to a minimum. That way, we won't risk the future. That will be all." Jake had far surpassed his father in command, they could see. They nodded and left, not knowing what else to do.
"Well, it looks like we'll be going home, in some fashion at least." Odo nodded his agreement.
