Cleaning, as Eren should find out and Levi kept on reminding him, wasn't something to treat lightly in this squad. Initially he had hoped they would start with their first training today, but apparently that would have to wait until the castle would fulfill Levi's standards. Therefore they dusted, swiped, mopped, and scrubbed all afternoon until the sky outside had changed from bright blue to colourful.

"It's getting too dark," Levi eventually announced, pulling down the mask around his face. "Let's finish for today. Eren, fetch your belongings."

"Yes, Sir." Eren went and a few minutes later he followed Levi down a narrow staircase, a small chest up in his arms. He'd been disappointment when Levi had announced that he'd have to sleep in the dungeon again, but it couldn't be helped. Orders were orders after all and Eren wouldn't complain.

"My own room is not too far away," Levi said. "So try to not make too much noise at night."

"Yes. I'll do my best, Sir."

"You're not a snorer, are you?"

"No."

"Mm."

Eren was feeling somewhere between regretful and relieved. He didn't want to be trouble to anyone. Nevertheless, the affirmation that if by any chance he actually should transform and would be about to make damage he wouldn't be let, eased him down.

"Welcome home," Levi said dryly as he opened the door with a creak.

Eren put down his chest at the foot of the bed before he glimpsed around. The bed, table, and dresser seemed to have been moved here for his sake—they lacked the cloths that had covered the other furniture in the upper part of the castle. He noticeably relaxed at the sight of the well-stuffed mattress and the thick blankets. They should be more than efficient to keep him warm in here. And he wouldn't have to sleep in chains anymore.

"At least it's dry in here," Levi mentioned. He swept a finger over the wall and frowned at the dust-covered fingertip with a twitch of his upper lip. "You should clean this place. I bet even the meadow outside would be an improvement to…this."

"Yes, Sir." Eren made a mental note to make the room spotless as soon as possible.

"You do understand we will have to lock the door at night. Someone, presumably me or Hanji, will let you out in the mornings according to your schedule and lock you in just before curfew."

Eren merely nodded in response. What was there to say anyway?

Levi already was on his way back upstairs again and without hesitation Eren hurried to fall into step behind him.

The remains of their travel rations—bread with cheese—were already awaiting them on one of the many tables in the otherwise scarcely furnished room next to the kitchen. The sight made Eren's stomach growl in anticipation.

A single oil lamp illuminated the dark room and Eren waited for Levi to sit down at the head of the table before he sat down himself. At the training camp they'd all had their familiar seats. He didn't want to disturb the probably habitual seating arrangements. Personal routine was one of the few things they all had left for themselves in the end.

Whilst eating Petra and Auruo kept up a conversation about their cleaning this afternoon. Eren had quickly found out they were constantly in a bicker-battle about some trifles, even though they didn't particularly appear to be on a hostile basis. On the contrary. They would simply start to banter with each other without any evident reason and laugh it off afterwards, as if nothing had happened, only to start from anew. Now, however, they talked calmly.

"Did you discover any mould?" Levi asked when he had finished his share of food.

"Yes," Auruo answered. "In one of the shared bathrooms."

"Disgusting."

Petra smiled. "But at least with the stone walls and floors in this castle it was easier to get rid of it. No comparison to the washroom in the wood hut."

Levi shivered so heavily at that memory that the plates on table rattled.

Smoothing out his cravat Auruo strutted and snorted. "Don't remind us, Petra."

She winked at Eren and explained to fill him in. "The whole thing was a goldmine for fungus. Not too cold, yet not too warm, and most of all moist. I bet the whole place still smells like vinegar."

"You were the one to soak up the whole floor with it, Petra," Gunther made his point.

"Because I ordered her to," Levi said. "Fucking mould."

"Indeed," Auruo agreed.

Petra rolled her eyes at Auruo across the table and laughed. "I still find the hornet's nest in the kitchen was much worse."

"Eyebrows certainly knows how to pick all the nice places," Levi added. "Knowing him there will be more surprises to look forward to in here. Maybe delightful moths and mealworms in the pantry or something else."

"Well," Petra giggled. "Up to now we haven't found anything else."

"Maybe someone shit into the well."

"Yuck! That would be awf– ouch!" Auruo winced as he bit on his tongue again, a new, unstained handkerchief already pressed against his lips.

Yes, Eren concluded, this tongue-biting definitely was a usual habit. Poor guy. It must hurt a lot to bite on your tongue several times a day. He peered down at his left hand, wondering which option hurt more. He briefly considered to try biting on his tongue to find out, but quickly decided against the impulse. It surely would be a stupid idea.

"Who would do something like that on purpose?" Gunter inquired, ignoring Auruo's misfortune completely.

No one answered him and silence settled around them. Now that the food was finished off as well it made Eren edgy. He wasn't able to tell if this was a comfortable quietness or not—not yet able to feel the room—as he felt their curious gazes on him. Did they wait for him to contribute something? Had they just read his mind with the biting thing?

He just wondered if he should wipe his face to check it for remains of food as Auruo cleared his throat and looked at Petra. "Whose turn is it?"

"I can't recall. Rock, paper, scissors?"

"Don't mind, Petra… I'll go."

"Thank you, Auruo," she smiled. "Then it's me tomorrow again."

Auruo excused himself and shuffled into the kitchen. After a few minutes he came back with a steaming tea pot, a portable hearth, and some already filled, small cups he handed out. Levi gave a short, appreciative nod. He held the cup in a strange way, not using the handle. And Eren could be mistaken, but he was sure to spot a short glimmer in Levi's eyes as he took his first sip.

Curious, Eren tried the tea as well after blowing it cool. It was strangely refreshening but slightly bitter. Back at home he'd solely drank water and milk, he had been a child after all. At the Training Barracks they'd sometimes had beer. He knew herbal infusions for healing purposes and the awful, burning stuff that had been in Commander Pixis' canteen, but that was it. At all events this tea had an odd, unfamiliar taste and he wasn't quite sure if he liked it. The stimulatory side effect felt kind of nice though.

"So, Eren," Eld broke the mutual stillness. "You truly are a Titan?"

"Yes," he answered.

Eld stared at his hands. "I still find it hard to believe. How does it feel to become one?"

Eren tried his best to share everything he knew as good as he could, even if his explanations puzzled him himself. Before Eren could pore over it though, Levi interrupted his thoughts. He indicated that Eren didn't know much more than he had told him and Erwin already. However, that surely wouldn't stop 'her' from trying to find out something.

Eren thought he already knew who Levi meant. Something in the Captain's tone made him remember excited, brown eyes behind a pair of thick glasses over enthusiastically glowing cheeks.

Just as he had asked nevertheless, the door burst open with a bang and Hanji appeared in the entrance. Opposed to Eren who had jumped on his chair at the loud sound, the others around him seemed completely uninvolved in the abrupt appearance. None of them even so much as flinched.

"Her," Levi confirmed Eren's guess calmly with another sip of his tea.

Hanji rushed forward with wildly gesturing arms, their hair sticking out in weird places. "Ah, hello. Eren, it is so nice to see you again!"

Without interrupting their greeting Hanji took a seat facing Eren, clenched his hand in theirs, and chatted about their research and experiments without tiptoeing around the topic first. Before he knew it they had deliberately crossed Levi's plans about him helping to clean the courtyard after his resilience training tomorrow. In return Eren enquired them about their experiments, hoping that he could be of good use for them.

Three stretched moans and Petra's more polite sigh echoed in the hall. It was followed by the scratching noise of five chairs and the steps of five pairs of feet aiming for the door, first and foremost Levi.

Wondering what the reason for their abrupt leave was, Eren turned back to Hanji. Their face was beaming again and they instantly started to fill him in on their surveys. The reason began to dawn on him as Hanji had been talking for what must have been hours while he listened to their conclusions. His initial hope about learning something new shriveled with each minute. It was all observations on stuff he knew from training and his few own blurry experiences.

The moonlight filtered through the hall's curtains. After a while the pale disc itself appeared in one of the windows, only to wander further and further and disappear again. How late was it already? Eren's eyes burned from the mere effort of keeping them open. He was starting to feel cold out of fatigue and sensed his body had begun to shiver in an attempt to get warmer.

It was about then when Levi came in to check on them. He took one peep at Eren and informed Hanji that curfew had been up for hours. "Your narrations are tedious as fuck anyway. You'll kill him with boredom before you can start a single experiment."

"I will not, how dare you! And they are not boring. Eren doesn't think so too, right, Eren?" Hanji fiercely slapped Eren's shoulder, making him instantly sit up in his chair again, suddenly realizing with embarrassment that he'd slouched down in it.

"Eh–" he began, rubbing his eyes, but Hanji already took that as an affirmation.

"See, Levi?" They beamed brightly, their hands eagerly gripping the air, elbows whirling around, and tiny drops of salvia flying out of their mouth, spraying all the way over the table and onto Eren's face. "He is as excited as I am. We could be at the edge of a breakthrough here. The mere thought of coming upon something important any moment should thrill you."

"Believe me. It does," Levi said dryly while Eren tried to more or less discreetly pat dry his face with the seam of his sleeve.

Not averting his stare from Hanji Levi withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to Eren, who took it with a quiet "thank you."

The fabric in Eren's hands was smooth and finely spun, spotless white, and it smelled like soap and lavender with a faint hint of roses. It was shockingly familiar.

Home… no. Mum. It was exactly like his Mum had used to like it.

It reminded Eren of her and everything he lost that day so badly and out of the blue, that his vision started to blur and a his chest tightened painfully. Maybe it was the tiredness. Maybe it was being away from all of his friends and feeling strangely alone.

How could he almost had forgotten her laughter? Her embrace? Her awful porridge that he had eaten anyway? Her way of humming gently when she had done the laundry in the backyard or stitched up his socks with a gentle smile?

He hadn't cried over his mother's death for years. He wouldn't start here. He wouldn't!

Not like this anyway. Not over a goddamn handkerchief. Not in front of two squad leaders. Not in front of Levi! He wasn't a child anymore; he was a soldier. A Titan. He clenched his mouth shut and forced back the tears, while he ordered his stuttering breath to go even. Luckily he had been handed the handkerchief to pat dry his face in the first place.

"What is it, Eren." Levi demanded.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. "Thanks again, Sir."

Levi squinted at him, while Hanji seized the short silence to start anew. "It is the first time we can actually talk with one of them in a real conversation. It's a miracle, Levi. Even better than Ilse's diary."

Levi averted his observing eyes from Eren to stare at Hanji again. "Amazing, four-eyes."

"Right?"

Eren tried his best to make himself melt with his chair; he didn't want to interfere at any rate. He guessed he shouldn't hear all of this in the first place. It sounded like the private banter of a married couple.

"What kind of shit do you think you are doing here? If you truly want to do something useful, take a fucking bath. You stink. And your lips are still blue from that filthy pen of yours."

Hanji smelled at the back of their left hand. "I do not stink. If anything, I smell like genius, you walnut."

"Tch."

By now Eren was done with patting his face dry and fighting back his tears. Almost reluctantly he refolded the handkerchief and held it out to give it back. Levi didn't take it. Instead he kept his gaze fixed on Hanji with a barely noticeable shake of his head. Eren retracted his hand, wrapping his fingers carefully around the smooth fabric, and put it away.

"Oh, come on, Levi." Hanji boisterously waved their arms. "Just let me end my observations about their regrowth. I'll bring Eren back to his cell myself to lock him in after that."

Levi's stare wandered from Hanji to Eren and back again, wordlessly affirming Eren's unuttered guess that this surely wouldn't happen if someone didn't stop Hanji sooner or later. Then Levi turned to Eren. "It's your choice."

He had said he'd give his everything. "I want to help Hanji, Sir," Eren said truthfully.

Levi reached for the tea pot on the portable hearth and refilled Eren's cup. "Just don't fucking break him on the first night, shitty glasses. Eren, drink up. And remember my approval about kicking her." With that he left them alone again, closing the door behind him.

"Ha!" Hanji cheered and boxed Eren playfully into his arm so fiercely that he was sure it would bruise. "We showed him! I already like you, Eren. Things will be much more interesting with you around. He can be so boring sometimes." They sighed and stared at the shut door, their face suddenly calm and contemplative. "I fear he's a lost cause."

Their glasses reflected the oil lamp's light as they returned Eren's hesitant smile with a wide, reassuring beam and then Hanji went on with their theories; even more ardently than before.

Eren sipped his hot tea, happy about how it made the tired shivers go away and how it warmed him. He started to understand why Levi liked it and soon poured himself another cup that sadly emptied the pot.

The handkerchief was resting in his jacket's pocket, directly over his heart.

Hanji was still talking to Eren when the messenger arrived in the morning, putting a final end to their report.

Eren would have been grateful for their interruption, hadn't it been for the bad news that made Hanji scream in distress: Both Titan test subjects the Survey Corps had been able to catch during the battle of Trost had been killed at dawn.

Levi didn't lose time and ordered the whole squad to mount the horses as quickly as possible to ride back into the city, an out-of-their-mind Hanji in tow. As opposed to the previous day's journey with baggage, provisions, and supplies at a slow pace, they now urged the horses to a fast gallop that made them cover the distance in a fraction of the time.

They quickly discovered there were only a few bones left, as well as a lot of the usual steam of corrosion.

"Sonny! Beane!" Hanji yelled. Their cries soon turned into incoherent howls that echoed all over the place, until their voice was hoarse. They pulled at their hair and skipped around the place, evidently mourning heavily over their loss.

While the Military Police crowded the place in their search for evidence Hanji sunk to the ground. Silent tears ran down their cheeks, leaving wet, pale trails on their dust-covered face. Their hair was in an even greater mess than the night before and some ripped out tufts of hair were scattered in the sand next to them as they constantly shook her head.

Eren's hands tightened into fists as he resolved to put all his effort into their experiments as soon as possible. But right now all he could do was watch.

Again.