17. BOND

Sunday was long, sad and exhausting day. There were a lot of people at Harry Clearwright's funeral. I felt like an stranger there, as if I did not belong there. Because I actually did not really belong there. I shouldn´t belong there. My destiny should have take another direction, but it laughed into my face.

The worst look was on Sue. She looked horrible, broken, her face was grey shades, her look was blank, she had shadows under her eyes, but she didn´t cry... Maybe she couldn´t cry anymore. She was as distant, thinking somewhere else. Like any part of her died... Did I look like Sue? How did Charlie feel when he saw me in such a mood of months? Poor Charlie, how many strengths and pains had to cost him ...?

Leah and Seth were at her side, and they were also crushed. Both of them wept and Leah held her mother's hand. I could not look at them anymore. I had to run away, otherwise the atmosphere of pain would return me months back...

The days went more or less in the same way, just as they had just been packed into the heavy mist of mourning. Jacob used to go after school and in the night at the patrol, and he did not have much time for me. I had to return to school on Monday. That was, I think, well, again, it will be my time to fill up something other than endless waiting... for what? Death? But whom? I could not think of it.

Whatever Jacob thought, he did not return to the evening. When we saw each other down in La Push or here at my home, they just told me how they worked, how far they drove Victoria, what changes in her behavior they had found out, and what it might mean. Almost every time I saw him, he was terribly tired. I could not wondering. He was one of the guards of the tribe, but he had to look like a normal teenager going to school.

In one afternoon when I was waiting for him in his garage, sitting in the back seat of his Rabbit, with my legs under my chin restrained by my arms, and trying hard not to think of Edward, Viktoria, or the decision that was sooner or later awaited, Jacob arrived sooner, than I was expected. Of course I did not hear him coming. He sat beside me and stared at me. He already knew what was happening, he knew what I was thinking. Well, what I tried not to think about it.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed, "what should I do to help you, how can I help you get a recommendation again?" He asked, and in his voice I began to feel despair and hysteria. No, I did not want this, I did not want to him another pain. In the end, there was nothing he could do for me. But his presence helped me, really. It was enough for me to be with me. It was enough that he smiled at me, that he held my hand, that he hugged me, that he was talking to me. I felt better with him, I felt safe.

I quickly released my legs, straightened up, and smiled faintly.

"I'm fine," I told him, leaning on his shoulder and grabbing his hand. I had to start working on myself if I wanted Jake to be happy. Jake looked at our intertwined hands and smiled. My presence causing joy to Jacob, I saw it on him. How long would it be enough for him? Only my presence?

"How was it today?" I asked him, hoping to take his thoughts in a different direction.

"We did not see her. She did not cross the borders or to anywhere in sight. Who knows, what she's supposed to do." His face was empty, unshaken, he looked at me. „How were you?" I smiled and wondered at the change in my mood since he came. As if nothing evil was real. How little was enough me. Just that he was with me, just that he liked me, only that consciousness was enough for me to be whole at that moment.

"In school Mike again invited me to the cinema. He wants to make up for me as we had to leave sooner. He was quite persistent." I frowned at that memory.

Jacob thought for a moment and asked, "You sent him to the hell, did not she?" He smirked.

"It was not so easy. I had to lie a little. Even though I did not like it very much. I think he will not invite me anymore. "I frowned again, wondering if I should have mentioned it at all, but perhaps Jake would not ask.

"What did you say to him?" Jacob asked, clearly, Jake did notice... I sighed.

"I do not know if it's good to say it to you." I hesitated but when I saw Jacob look at me, I knew I had to say. "Well... I told him that..." I looked at my palms and feared his reactions. "I told him I am dating with somebody." It finally blew out of me.

Jacob just laugh. I did not expect this reaction. I have not really seen him for a long time laughing so much. "And did that work?" He asked, when he calmed himself.

"Yes," I said, wondering what was going on.

"If you thought that before, you could save all that annoying care from Mike." He said with ease, as if he did not mind lying to Mike.

"Wait a minute, and with who are you dating, exactly?" Jacob asked, and he did not let go sight of me. It played a confident smile on his lips.

"He did not ask, but I suppose he thinks I am with you."

There was a smirk on Jacob's face, almost just like at old good times. I was glad Jake was happy. Or at least he do not worry about anything at this moment.

"Well, maybe I should pick you out of school sometimes to make it more trustworthy." He said fervently, and I knew he would play his role perfectly, which was probably because it would by no acting for him. It would be natural...

"Sure," I laughed, "as if you had time for that in your busy program." I added a little fainter.

Jacob noticed this, and he smiled wildly at me. "That's what I wanted to say. We agreed that we would be out of patrolling for at least one full day of the week because Embry had some problems at school. He does not have a lot of time to do the school work, so Sam has judged That it makes us very busy, and that we can do it properly even if we are not all. If there was an alarm, we will find the rest of the pack. I'm off tomorrow. We could do something together, what do you think?" He asked me with the spark in my eyes and it was so easy to me, I will have him for the whole afternoon, which was a warm idea, despite the cold wind blowing out. „At least I can keep my eyes on you all that time and you also look like the word „entertainment" had no meaning to you, anymore." He laughed at his own joke. His positive, elated mood was too contagious. I smiled and nodded.

"What would you like to do?" He asked me.

"If you'll with me, I do not care." I said, and again I leaned on his shoulder with lightness on my soul.

Jacob embraced me and gently kissed me at the top of my head. "That's great, I've come up with something. But that's a surprise," he added when I pulled away and looked at him.

"Motorbikes?" I asked him and blocked the last memories...

"You will see," he said, his expression faintly on the face, should I be afraid? But I was just too pleased that he is finally smiling.

"Kids," we heard a voice from outside, Charlie came in. "Are you here?" He asked, and I automatically jumped out of Rabbit. Jacob joined me.

"I'm coming," I cried and turned was at the switch and turned off the light again. It was dark everywhere so I waited automatically and almost instantly felt Jacob grabbing my hand and leading out into another darkness. His hand was pleasant Warm and soft in compared to the other hand, cool and hard as a stone. I did not think about it, it did not belong to me anymore.

We went out of the garage and saw Charlie standing on the porch of Billy's house an holding three pizzas. I frozed. Today I had to cook, I completely forgot about it. Charlie probably noticed what I had just thought of, and he smiled. "I wanted to save you work tonight," he said, and he walked in. Charlie obviously doesn´t care about it, I tried to suppress my own remorse and let be pulled inside by Jacob. We sat at the table but it was not like it once. It was like someone is missing here.

The day at school passed quickly, with the idea that today I would not be sitting alone at home and drowning in my own thoughts. I will spend this afternoon with my own sun, which will fill me with warmth, light and peace. I was glad he would not be on the patrol, at least I will know he is safe. But I was a little afraid that Victoria could find us together. Would Jacob really handily manage the situation with her as he tried to tell me? He told me he was made up for it. To kill vampires. But would he do it alone, too? I was shocked by that idea.

"Bella, is not you cold?" Angela asked, looking at the sweater that I had over the chair. No one at the table in the dining room noticed us, just only Mike looked at me for a second but then turned quickly and went on an chat with Eric.

"No, I'm fine," I smiled at her. I liked her, she was so gentle, so honest, nice and quiet. She was good, but she was too attentive.

"What are you going to do after school today?" She asked when she saw that she was not going to get from me information, why I was shaked. Mike looked at me again, but after about three seconds he turned back to Eric, but when he did not say nothing, it seemed like he listen to us.

"Well, actually, I have a date today," I said, wondering how unnatural it sounded out loud, and it was all more odd that I knew it was almost true, not quite in the right mean of word - how could it be - but I will try very hard to make it look like a nice time spent together with Jake.

Mike threw at me such a strange look, a mixture of surprise, anger, disappointment, and betrayal. I did not want him to feel that way, but if he waited for me, it would be even worse. I knew it would not happen. Never. He stood up and went away. I'm sorry, Mike, you'll have to move on, once and for all, I'm really sorry, I thought.

Angela looked at the outgoing Mike, a little confused, but then she turned back to me and exclaimed, "That's great, Bella! That's great!" Ok, now the rest of the table looked at us. I was trying to ignore it. And I was trying don´t think about how Mike feels now, but I never gave him any hope.

I expected Angela will ask me who I was dating, but Angela was just... Angela. Discreet.

"Thank you," I smiled at her gratefully.

I really have a date today. It was also strange. It's seems absurd in the mess stuff happenings surround me.

After the last hour, I wondered if I should go to Jake, or he would come for me. I decided to go home and call him. I guess it will not take long and I will be back in his warm presence.

I went out to the parking lot, and when I lifted my head to go to the car, I saw Jake lean over my Pickup and smile. So it did not take neither as long as I expected. Jake was here, waiting for me as every friend does.

He carelessly straightened up, and walked toward me. I supposed he meant it seriously that he wanted to add some credibility to my storytelling about dating. Should I allow it to him? But could I avoid it? I knew Jacob's determination too well. And did I want to prevent it at all? I tried not to think about how Edward used to waiting for me in the morning. I tried not to think that I would never see him near my car again. This boy (as great he was it was ridiculous to me calling him a „boy") he was now my future, if I want to. If I will decide for him.

Looking at his self-confident face, I had to smile. He walked over to me across the parking lot and gently took me into his arms, pulling me out into the air and hugging me hard. He stared me in the eyes, then put me down and grabbed my hand.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"Depending on what." I said indefinitely and thinking what he devise for me today?

"You can drive if you want," he offered me, when Mike passed us in his car. I was trying to get away with all thoughts.

"Where should I go?" I asked as I opened the driver's door.

"To your house," he said, and it seems, he is in very good mood.

"Is that a surprise? Are we going to study? "I asked, and I was surprised to find myself relieved. S perhaps today is not that day when I have to decide.

"I admit that it would not hurt me, but no, that's not what I prepared for today's afternoon for us," he smiled and got into car. I was looking where he stood a while ago for a few seconds, and finally I got in too.

Jacob sat facing me and looks the mysterious.

"So what?" I asked impatiently, what making him more amused, and he smiled even wider and shook his head.

I sighed and set off toward our home. It was not worth trying to get out of Jacob where we plan to go today, so I just looked in front of myself and wondering what's going on. I just hoped no romance. I would not have done that. I felt more confident when he was in a joyous mood, like when he was thinking and quiet.

When we arrived at our house, Jake´s Rabbit was parked there. "Are we on the way or are we staying here?" I asked.

"We continue, of course. I said I've planed something for us." he said and stepped out of the car. I went to house for a second, just to leave my school bag in the house, and to left Charlie on the kitchen table a message that I was with Jacob and I will return in the evening. Then I got back into the car, where Jacob was holding the door, and as I pass by him to the car, I felt some distress from the unknown.