xoxox
"Oh, my cousin is there! Would you come with me to talk to her for a while?"
One of the fake blondes tugged on Shiho's dress, and pointed to the other side of the room. She looked at where the girl was pointing, and saw not her cousin but a silver head which was in the same direction.
"Miss Hahnenfuss?"
"Oh…yes, of course."
She nodded hastily, and hesitantly followed the other girl, closer to Yzak.
"Hey, is that Miss Hahnenfuss coming here?"
"Hmm… Oh, I suppose it's Miss Leitner's cousin…"
Yzak jerked his gaze up, momentarily stunned by the fact that Shiho would even come close to him. He forced himself to look away, however, before he did anything to shame Shiho, or himself, or both.
"Was Mister Joule looking at us?"
An excited whisper from the girl almost froze Shiho to the spot. The girl did not notice the subtle reaction, and continued walking in that direction without an ounce of thought. Shiho, on the other hand, felt her steps getting considerably heavier. She was scared of getting any closer to Yzak…that she might do something unceremonious to humiliate them both, because of her feelings that had been locked away for too long.
When they came in arms distance from each other, they both closed their eyes tightly, praying for this moment to pass by as fast as possible…and at the same time to last forever. It was almost as if they were being choked by their insatiable desires, dooming themselves, drowning in a long-gone ghost of what could have been but never was.
A metal clinking against the hard marble floor forced Yzak to open his eyes again. He saw a silver object in the pathway that Shiho had just taken and picked it up. It was a military dog tag, one of which he too was wearing under his stiff suit. He almost dropped it again, however, when he saw the name engraved on it. He clenched the dog tag in his hand, and before any of the faceless rascals could say anything, he followed in Shiho's footsteps.
"Miss Hahnenfuss, I believe this is yours."
Shivers went down Shiho's spine at the voice that was all-too-familiar. She turned around slowly, ignoring the other girl's flushed cheeks.
"Yz… Mister Joule…"
He slowly slipped the chain over her head, his heartbeat becoming louder at every passing second. She mumbled a soft thank you, looking down so his ice blue eyes would not freeze her to death. They stood there in awkward silence for a while, unable to talk or to leave.
Soft music started to play in the background, and they were brought out of their bubble by the flurry of couples filling up the dance floor.
"……May I have this dance?"
Yzak asked tentatively, unable to resist the gush of emotions that was threatening to explode. Shiho nodded, and they joined the countless couples.
"I see you have kept your identification tag."
Yzak said, noticing how delicately built Shiho actually was. Such small details were unnoticeable over the military uniforms. She was wearing light make up, which he had never seen before too. Her slightly colored lips moved entrancingly as she responded.
"…It reminds me that I am not a plastic doll, Commander."
Shiho tried to answer steadily with even a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but she was trembling inside. He was there, right in front of her, so close to her, and yet she could not have reached him if she tried. His silver hair was tied back in a ponytail, with just a strand covering his piercing eyes.
"You sound almost as though you miss the days in ZAFT."
A return dose of sarcasm.
"I do. Anything to feel alive."
A sincere surprise there.
"…But weren't you eager to quit……?"
"Me? I would have served for life if only circumstances allowed."
"……Shiho…"
"Although I do not think I could have continued working under you, being the incapable subordinate I am."
"You? Incapable? I never said such a thing."
"But you sounded so disappointed at me when I told you I was going to discharge."
"I was disappointed."
"See…"
"But not at you. I thought at least you would stay with me. I…"
The music suddenly picked up its tempo, and a couple dancing beside them knocked Shiho a little closer to Yzak. A little too close for comfort. Then those words that he had held back for so long …too long to ever be healthy… fell from mouth with the velocity of the moment.
"I love you."
"Yzak…"
"I love you, Shiho. More than anything in the world."
Yzak tightened his arm on Shiho's shoulder, scared that she would disappear because of what he just said. Instead, she whispered into his ear.
"………I love you too."
"Shiho…"
"You have no idea how much time I spend every day thinking about Voltaire, about my comrades…about you. How long I wished I was back there again, where I had a place beside you…"
"You still do."
They moved closer to each other until they felt each other's temperature on their skin. Scandalously close…enough to feel the other breathing, heart thumping, living.
The stared feverishly at each other. They were lost in their own world, where former misunderstandings and complications had melted instantaneously.
xoxox
Rather than a thousand words of love
All I need is for you to be there
Nobody could ever replace you
Your smile will be my light for tomorrow
To the sun in the sky…
Among the limited meetings we have
A bond between us, pulling us together
Through dark nights and stormy days
You were my only truth
Rather than a thousand songs of love
All I need is your warmth
The kindness caught through pain
Will be changed into love
A shining vow in our hearts…
xoxox
As the music crescendoed into a passionate flurry of whirling colors, Yzak held Shiho firmly by the waist and lowered his face to hers.
"I love you."
He whispered ardently before they locked their lips in an impassioned kiss. Ignoring the gasps and horrified stares at their brazen actions, they stood there in each other's arms until the music died out to a complete silence.
"Miss Hahnenfuss!"
"Mister Joule!"
Horrified screams came from somewhere in the room, at which they finally let the kiss die out too. They had done something that was considered a huge taboo in their world, but it hardly mattered. They were somehow starting to feel reality again, and as long as they stood together, they felt nothing could ever bring them down.
"What now, then?"
Shiho looked up to Yzak, a daring smile tugging at her mouth. Yzak returned a similar smile, and said in a mismatching solemn voice.
"I was thinking of going to Orb, as Dearka's wedding will take place there."
"Wedding? Dearka?"
Shiho asked, surprised beyond words. Yzak looked at her incredulously. Yes, this was it. Her trustworthy, compassionate, but occasionally sarcastic commander. Hers.
"Haven't you been checking the mail lately? He sent us all invitations a month ago."
Shiho laughed guiltily; she had not, to be truthful, checked her mailbox since she got back from ZAFT.
"So he finally figured out things with Miriallia, I suppose."
"About time. He's been moping around about her way too long."
The stares and glares were starting to hurt. Physically.
"Then…shall we, my lady?"
Yzak said as he held out his arm for Shiho to take. She saw a faint blush around his ears, but she took his arm without a word about it.
"My pleasure."
They exited the great ballroom through a hostile silence, arm in arm and a smile on their faces.
xoxox
Whatever sanity that existed in our world had completely dissipated with the war.
The random excerpt in the middle is from "Destiny Taiyou no Hana" by Hitomi Shimatani. I believe it was the opening or ending for Black Jack? I don't know... Anyways, it was this song that inspired me to write this fanfic. It's a beautiful song; if you haven't heard it yet, I suggest you find it somehow. It's worth it.
Before you flame at me, asking what the hell I was thinking when I was writing this, let me tell you one thing.
I, myself, have no idea what the heck it's all about either. No, I was not on drugs, but I didn't really think logically when I was writing it. Let's just say you should look for the bigger picture here... (insert nervous laughter)
BTW, I'm sorry for the delayed upload. It wasn't until I got on the plane to Japan that I realized I had no access to the internet whatsoever...Now I'm back. Yeah.
Oh, and of course, THANK YOU to all readers and reviewers, you just make my day.
The theme was ardent love to the point of insanity. Or something along those lines...
Yes, I am still working on "If I could say I love you...". I just need to get a cooling pad for my laptop first...
