Hi everyone! Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter 2! Enjoy!
The Protagonists' Plea
Chapter 2: Concluding Things
The doors to the meeting hall slammed against the walls, making nearly everyone in the circle jump from their seats. A smallish man in short trousers and no shoes was panting heavily in the doorway, slumped over and looking as if he was ready to fall over. Bruce and Anakin rushed to his side and grabbed an arm.
"No, I'm alright," said Frodo, but taking the arms anyway.
Harry stood, his arms crossed. "It's about time you showed up, Baggins. What kept you? Have another ring you needed to dispose of first?" He laughed at his joke, but quieted as soon as he realized that no one was laughing with him.
Frodo glared at him. "Well I'm sorry, but it does take some time to catch a ship NOT going to the Valar you know. And it was completely out of my control that a storm blew in and we had to drop anchor in the Caribbean! I had to run the rest of the way here!" He sat in the only vacant chair left and scooted in between the guy with the cane and the normal-looking man. "By the way, Sparrow," he added.
Jack Sparrow put down his rum bottle and looked around for who was talking to him. "Yes? What was that? Oh! Frodo Baggins-Mr. I mean, oh goodness how great it is to see you again." He sloppily shook hands with the hobbit from across the circle.
"Yes it is, isn't it? Nice job on the Pearl. We passed by it after the storm. It was about time you buffed out those nasty scratches!" said Frodo.
Jack waved a finer at him. "You've no idea about krakens do you Mr. Baggins? Nasty creatures with hidden agendas they is. Merciless bastards they is. Damn that Davy Jones for sendin' it after me! Alright, so the story is-"
Harry coughed loudly. "Sparrow, is this really the time for this?"
Jack rolled his eyes in response.
Harry sighed. "Do you have a complaint or should we come back to you?"
"No, I've got meself a complaint alright," said Jack. He stood up, stumbled, and fell onto the normal-looking man's lap. The empty rum bottle he had picked up went flying and shattered somewhere hear the doorway. Jack smiled up at the forty-something year old. "Sorry about that, mate." He stood back up and patted the man on the shoulder. The man looked rather unamused, but Jack laughed heartily.
"Any day now, Captain," said Harry.
"Right." Jack brushed himself off. "I've got meself a similar problem to....that guy." He pointed a tattooed finger to Eragon. "I've been set up with a total tease of a wench and it's too tempting to me!"
"Nice alliteration," said the normal-looking man.
Jack nodded to him, even though everyone knew that Jack had no clue what alliteration even meant. "Anyhow, Elizabeth and I have been labeled 'Sparrowbeth' and, if I haven't had problems with her enough, she and I are always paired up, for me just to see her run off with the eunuch in the end- every time! It's exhausting! I want a Bonny lass of my own and not have to share her with a comrade that I've unsuccessfully tried to kill four or five times." He paused. "That's it." He sat back down.
The normal-looking guy stood up. "Hi. I'm Professor Robert Langdon."
"OH!" said everyone in the circle. "We were wondering who you were!" said Peter enthusiastically.
Robert nodded. "That's the point. Despite the popularity of my series-"
Harry snorted loudly, but Robert continued, apparently unaffected. "-I'm not being written about at all! I mean, not to complain, but you all are complaining mainly about romances. I haven't even had a romance in my own novels, nevermind fanfiction! I'm like the forty-year-old-virgin here! Give me some action, will ya!"
The men laughed. Even Robert had to grin at his sudden sense of humor, and he sat down.
"What about you, Frodo?" said Edward. "Do you have anything to say?"
Frodo hopped down from his chair. "I do, thank you, Edward. I actually have a similar problem, with writers assuming I'm a homosexual. Pair me up with someone who's not in the Fellowship, huh? Make a Mary-Sue for me, I don't care! I mean really, what do Aragorn, Legolas, and Faramir have that I don't have?"
The members looked around at each other, afraid to say anything.
"Well, you know what I mean. I'm the main character and those guys are getting all the action just 'cause they're over six feet! Give me 22 inches and I'd be just as....hunky as they are." He sat back down amongst the sniggers going around at his choice of words. He looked to his right and beckoned for the man with the can, who had been silent the whole time, to stand. He sighed and stood, looking annoyed.
"I'm here representing the T.V. section. I'm Dr. Greg House and I hate everybody and all my fanfics."
Everyone looked uneasily around the circle. Even Harry was dumbstruck.
"Well, not all of them, but I'm just easily bored with all the crap going through people's heads. God, what does it take to find good writers nowadays?" He shook his head and sat down.
A majority of the men gave surprised looks to the person across from them. A long silence lingered over the group.
Bruce came next. He stood to cheers from Peter and Eragon, who were Batman's biggest fans in the room. "Um, I'm Bruce Wayne, and I'm not a manwhore. At least, I'm not trying to be."
Laughter erupted from a portion of the group. Harry sulked, looking annoyed with every character getting more action than he was.
"So yeah, I want to be with one girl for a while. A serious relationship. Is that too much to ask?"
Erik and Anakin were the two that were left. Before the Phantom rose to speak, Harry felt inclined to question their position in the League of Protagonists.
"Now, you two have been put together because, well, you're the antiheroes of the group."
Erik and Anakin exchanged annoyed looks.
"Not like I'm trying to point fingers," Harry stammered. "But I think it would be better to ask now rather than later." He paused, shaking nervously. "Are you good guys?"
The two said nothing.
"Harry, don't be so blunt about things," said Edward, not unkindly. He turned to Erik and Anakin. "He just means that...he wants you to be on our side definitely, that's all." The phantom and jedi relaxed a little in their features. "So," he said calmly, "do you have anything you want to add?"
The silent duo shrugged their shoulders.
"Sure, sure, vampire boy. That made things a lot easier," Harry thought.
Edward waited for a verbal answer, which he never received. "Okay...well just let us know if you want to say anything about the subject." They nodded, and still said nothing.
Harry clapped sarcastically. "Nice job, Ed! Now if we could turn our attention to where it matters, what do we do now?"
"Decide on how to change the fanfic authors' stories and minds, I suppose," said Jon quietly. Harry rolled his eyes. "Obviously!"
"That'll be easier, now that we've concluded things," said Edward. "Anyone have any suggestions?"
