Disclaimer: I don't own Higher Ground or any of its characters.
Thanks a lot to those who reviewed, you made my day!!
Ghostwriter: Thanks for your comments and ya, you're right, the only reason I didn't have Peter find her razors was to show that he is human, and that he can also make mistakes. Also, him not finding her razors will be important in the next chapter.
Emilygrace: Thanks soo much for your review!! I hope you like this chapter!
She walked in to see a blonde woman in front of a crowd of about 6 people. It looked like they were participating in some form of group therapy.
Wow, what a bunch of losers, is all Kaylee could think. She didn't think she was crazy; she didn't belong in a place like this. She just wanted to be back at her own high school, where she had friends, where she belonged.
"Sophie, this is Kaylee Roberts. Cliffhangers, I'd like you to meet your newest member. She is from Los Angeles, California and I expect you to all treat her with respect".
"Omg, omg, we've got a new member!! Yayy!" This was all Kaylee heard before she was pounced on into a hug by a thin brunette.
"Hi, sorry, I'm Juliette. I really, really like new people. So when did you get here, how old are you, why are you here??" Juliette said breathlessly.
"Whoh, whoh, give this girl time to breathe" laughed a handsome blond boy with breathtakingly beautiful blue eyes. Kaylee blushed as she heard this; she knew that a guy like him could never like a girl like her. But she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she had a chance this time.
"Anyways, my name is Scott, and this here is Shelby, Auggie, Ezra, Daisy, and you've already met Juliette. Don't be too worried, she's like this with every newbie".
Again, Kaylee found herself blushing. Get a grip on yourself! You've been standing here for 5 minutes now, looking like a fool. Talk to them.
"Hi, well as all of you guys already know, my name is Kaylee. Umm, I'm 17 years old and I'm from Los Angeles" she said this too quickly and stumbled over her words. She hated attention, at her old high school she fit in, she didn't attract too much attention and she was perfectly fine with that. But here, here everything she said or did would be analyzed. They would all be watching her, waiting for her to slip with her cutting, wanting her to mess up so they could help her.
Suddenly she started to feel lightheaded, too many people were staring at her, they all wanted her to say something, wanted her to reveal more about herself. But she would never do it; she would never let them know her secrets. Things that her parents didn't even know about her, things she hadn't told her closest friends.
She found herself being unable to breathe. She knew that if she didn't get out of the room fast enough, she'd have an anxiety attack. She removed her eyes from the floor and saw all of their faces, all had mixed looks of concern and confusion. As fast as her feet could carry her, Kaylee was out the door. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew that she had to run. It's not like she had a choice, if she stayed there, they'd make her talk. They'd force everything out of her, all her secrets, all the pain. She couldn't relive it again so she ran faster. Her heart was pounding and she could hear footsteps behind her.
Of course Peter had come after her; he seemed to care so much for his students. She had only been with him for an hour, but she knew he was different. Different from all her other psychiatrist's, she couldn't fool him.
Kaylee hadn't paced herself, and she could feel her legs starting to hurt. With every movement, she could feel herself getting weaker, losing speed. Suddenly she was tackled to the ground. The wind was knocked out of her and when she was able to look up she saw that it was no one other than Peter holding on to her tightly so she wouldn't be able to take off again.
"Please, please let go of me. Please don't touch me, please" Kaylee shouted as she struggled to get out of his grasp.
"Kaylee, Kaylee. Look at me, Kaylee, look at me. I'm only gonna release you until you've calmed down all right. I'm not gonna hurt you."
She began to calm down, and her breaths became more normal and steady. When Peter let go of her she quickly stood up. She was on the verge of breaking down and Peter knew it.
"I just wanna be left alone. Please, just leave me alone. I don't belong at your stupid school, I just wanna go home. Back to my friends, back to where I belong". Please, you don't understand, I don't need help, there's nothing wrong with me. Just let me go", she sobbed uncontrollably. She didn't want to do this, she wasn't weak. Only weak people cried, only weak people showed their true emotions.
Peter went to her and just took her and hugged her tight. She held onto him with her life, crying, shaking. A few minutes later she was able to regain control and felt Peter's grip loosen. She was so tired. So tried of her life, of running all the time. She ran from her fears, ran from anything that was hurting her. And for the first time in her life someone had come to rescue her. Someone had chased her, held her, and made sure that she was okay.
Sure, her parents cared about her and loved her. But it wasn't enough, the only reason she always returned home was that she was weak. She hated their love, hated how it made her feel. She wasn't worthy of it, she just caused trouble and was a nuisance. She wasn't strong enough to leave her family; she couldn't bear to hurt them more than she already had.
"Sweetie, listen to me. I'm not going to leave you alone, you may not realize it right now but you need me. You need us and you belong here. We're going to get to the root of your problems. I care about you, I want to help you. Running away isn't going to solve anything." Peter rubbed her back and then waited, waited for her to realize that she had nowhere else to go and that home wasn't the best option right now.
Kaylee knew he was right. She got up, dusted off her pants and began to head back to the school with Peter right behind her.
"She's gonna be a hard one to crack", Peter told Sophie later when all the kids had gone to sleep including Kaylee. "She doesn't seem to realize that cutting is a problem and that she belongs here".
"Well, they all are. And until she realizes that she has a problem, there's not much we can do. We just have to support her, show her that we care and that we'll always be there for her when she needs to talk." Sophie replied as she began to massage Peter's shoulders.
"Sophie Becker, have I ever told you how much I love you", Peter smiled.
"Well, mountain man, I'd love to hear it again" laughed Sophie as she began to kiss Peter and closed the door.
Kaylee couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned and tried doing everything to fall asleep. But she knew it was hopeless. It had only been a day since she was here and already she had run off and had a breakdown in front of Peter. They must all think I'm a freak, she thought. But who wouldn't. I can't even last five minutes in front of them, without having a mini breakdown.
The urge to cut had always been there, but now it was increasing. It was like a little voice in her head, getting louder and louder. She got up and looked around the room. All the girls were sleeping. She crept into the bathroom with a razor in hand. She sat down on the toilet, lifted up her pants, and slowly slid the blade across onto her thighs. The pain was sharp, but only lasted for a second. She closed her eyes and began to silently cry as the blood seeped from the cut onto the floor. A few moments later, she opened her eyes and felt better. She wiped off the blood from the ground and crawled back into her bed, falling asleep immediately.
What she didn't know was that Juliette had seen her enter the bathroom, heard her cry and watched her as she had crawled silently into her bed. Juliette had no idea that Kaylee was a cutter, and as she too fell asleep she promised herself that she would talk to her about it in the morning.
So, did you guys like the story?? I'm sorry it took a while to update but I've been incredibly busy. So this story is going to be focused on Kaylee, I might include a few of the Cliffhangers but its basically going to about Kaylee and her road to recovery. Her secrets will also be revealed in time.
PLEASE, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!! You guys have noo idea how much your reviews make my day!
