"Logan?" Finn called out in the dark. Logan didn't answer, just continued to look at his feet in the dark. He woke up a few hours ago in a cold sweat, praying to a god he didn't believe in that yesterday was a horrible nightmare. But the bed space next to him was cold and empty and after stumbling out of bed to empty the contents of his stomach, he realized it wasn't. So he numbly walked to the kitchen and found his secret stash of alcohol and was polishing of a bottle of Jack in the dark.

"I know you're in here. I can smell the alcohol." Finn's voice was gentle as it drew closer. Logan saw his best friend's worried face in the moonlight.

"Over here." He muttered, before finishing off the bottle and tossing it to the side. He heard the glass break on the floor far away, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Logan reached for another bottle and found a bottle of vodka. He opened it and took a drink right as Finn reached him. He snatched the bottle out of Logan's hand and tossed it in the sink, shattering it.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Oh, I dunno." Logan slurred. "I do know I just finished a bottle of Jack." He laughed humorlessly. "The bottle's somewhere over there." He pointed lazily in the direction of the broken bottle.

"Is that it?" This conversation would be a lot easier if Finn would just stay still.

"I don't think so." He looked at his secret stash and it looked a lot less full than it had earlier. "There's a lot less in here than there was a couple hours ago…"

"Why are you drinking so much in the middle of the night?" Finn asked. Logan sat up straight and tears sprung to his eyes.

"I woke up a few hours ago." He was sounding a little more sober, though his words were still slurred. "I thought yesterday was just a long, horrible nightmare. But my bed was empty. She wasn't there, Finn!" His voice cracked. "And then I threw up." He paused for a moment, tears streaming down his face. "Then I realized I needed to feel something, or numb the pain, or both? So I just… found my secret stash in the kitchen and I've been drinking ever since." Logan tried to reach for another bottle and Finn grabbed him.

"No." he said harshly. "No more drinking."

"I need it, Finn…" Logan whispered.

"No, you don't." Finn sighed. "You need Rory, but she's not here. I'm all you've got for the time being." He heaved Logan up off the ground and dragged him to the bathroom. "Stay here, mate." He leaned him up against the bathtub and turned and ran out of the room. Logan shrugged and let himself fall slowly to the floor before he realized he needed to throw up.

Drinking so much on an empty stomach was probably not a good idea. Finn walked in just as Logan was hugging the toilet bowl and sat down next to him, rubbing his back. When he was done, Finn handed him a bottle of water and sat down next to him.

"It's okay, mate." He said softly. "You'll get through this." He stood up and ran a washcloth under cold water. "I'll get you through tonight like all the times you got me through drunken nights like this."

"Thank you." Logan said, before falling to the bathroom floor.


"What the fuck did he do last night?" Honor's voice sounded very far away.

"He thought yesterday was a nightmare." Finn was explaining quietly. "He woke up in the middle of the night, saw Rory wasn't there, then somehow found his way to the kitchen and his secret stash and drank half of it."

"And why didn't you wake me up?" She sounded angry. Logan didn't want to open his eyes yet.

"Because I knew you were going this is how you would respond." Finn sounded annoyed and protective. "I'm sorry, but he didn't need anyone yelling at him again." He sighed. "It was bad, Honor. He was in real bad shape last night."

"Well, he's asleep on the bathroom floor…" He could hear her pacing. Logan opened one eye and saw a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water in front of him. There was also a pair of sunglasses and a change of clothes. He took a handful of aspirin and downed it with half the bottle of water.

"When he wakes up, you cannot jump down his throat and start yelling at him." Finn said firmly. "After he was done throwing up and when he finally blacked out, I looked around the flat for alcohol—anywhere that he might hide it, and I threw it out." He sighed. "It's all gone. So if something like last night happens, he won't be able to drink his sorrows away."

"You didn't even wake me up?" Colin sounded a little annoyed.

"I was too busy calming him down." Finn said. "I wasn't going to leave him alone to wake everyone up in the house."

Logan put the sunglasses on and walked out of the bathroom quietly. "I'm sorry I broke down last night." He avoided everyone's eye contact. "But I feel like I'm allowed to have that moment of weakness. After you lot were yelling at me yesterday, and I walked out on the love of my life, I… I was hoping it was a horrible nightmare. I just couldn't fully process it yesterday. My breakdown last night was my way of processing it." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He paused and sat down, remembering the feeling of Rory's fingers in his hair and suddenly he was happy for the sunglasses. Tears sprung to his eyes and he turned away from his friends. "Is there coffee?" he choked out.

"No, but I can go get some." Honor said softly, reaching out to him. Her perfume was the same as Rory's and he backed away.

"Just.. get the coffee, please, Honor." Logan whispered. "Thank you." He sank into a chair. She looked a little hurt, but nodded as she grabbed her keys and walked out of the apartment. Finn and Colin looked at him.

"What was that about?" Colin asked gently.

"She wears the same perfume Rory does." Logan sighed, hiding his face in hands.


Logan lit a cigarette and sat on the balcony outside of his apartment. The sun felt good on his cold skin and he knew he was going to get yelled at for this, but smoking was betting than drinking, right?

"Are you fucking smoking?" Finn's voice once again scared the shit out of him.

"You don't want me to drink. I need some kind of vice right now." He answered tonelessly.

"Well, with that logic…" Finn sat next to him. "Can I have one?"

Logan shrugged and nodded to the pack of Marlboros sitting next to him. Finn took one out and lit it before turning to him. "It's time we try to figure out how to get your girl back, mate." He said through a puff of smoke. Logan didn't say anything, just took a drag off of his cigarette. "Do you have any ideas?"

"At this point, I will run to her and beg on my knees if that's what will get her to come back to me." He said without looking at his friend. Finn smoked on his cigarette for a moment.

"There's that," he said slowly. "and then there's all the elaborate ways you went through to get her back a few years ago when you cheated on her, remember?"

"Yeah, I don't think hiring a coffee cart to follow her around is gonna fix this one." He flicked the butt off the balcony and reached for another cigarette.

"You never know, mate." Finn shrugged. "Maybe try other ways before you resort to begging."

"Like what?"

"Write her something." He suggested. "You're good with words and she likes words."

"I don't know…" Logan sighed. "I don't know if I can even write right now."

"Okay." Finn turned to look at his best friend. "You've been doing everything you can to fucking self destruct over the past two days. You're going to do everything in your fucking power to get Rory back." He said aggressively. "I don't care what it is. If you really want to get on your fucking knees and beg for forgiveness, do it. I don't care. But you will get her back, because you're going to end up killing yourself at the rate you're going."

"I know." Logan looked at his hands. His knuckles were bruised from punching the wall earlier. "I can't imagine what will happen if I don't get her back."

Colin walked outside, a little baggie in his hand. "How about pot instead of cigarettes?" he offered a joint to Logan who looked at it for a minute before taking it and lighting it.

"I guess this works." He said, exhaling the smoke slowly.

"Maybe this will help us come up with some ideas to get Rory back, yeah?" Colin smiled and patted Logan on the back.


"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Honor walked outside, a notebook in hand. Finn offered her the pipe.

"Come join us, love," he smiled. "we're figuring out how to get our dear Rory back." He said through a cloud of smoke. Honor eyed the pipe before tossing her notebook to the side and sitting next to her brother.

"What've we got so far, boys?" She asked, taking the pipe from Colin.

"Finn thinks I should write her something." Logan said. "Colin thinks I should do the roses thing I did back in school." He took a drag off of the joint in his hand. "Honestly, I'm considering getting down on my knees and begging for forgiveness."

"I like Finn's idea." Honor said, exhaling the smoke slowly. "But, I feel like you do deserve to get down on your knees and beg." She passed the pipe to Logan. "So I think you should do both."

"I told you my idea was the best idea!" Finn grabbed Honor's notebook and handed to Logan. "Okay, mate, start writing."

"But what do I say to her?" he traded the joint for a cigarette. They looked at him sadly.

"What you said to us yesterday." Colin finally said. "Tell her you fucked up. Tell her you don't deserve her. Tell her you wish you could go back in time and fix this, but you're begging her to forgive you right now. Tell her you need her more than life and the last couple days have been hell on earth and you need her to survive. Tell her she's your soulmate. Tell her she's your one and you'll do anything for her to take your dumbass back." He took a small hit from the pipe. "But most of all, tell her how much you love her." He looked at Logan. "Then after she reads your letter, and if she doesn't do anything, you can get down on your knees and beg for her."