CAT IN THE SATIRE DEPT.

Chapter 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear

Sonic was still running through Station Square wondering about what happened just a minute ago (no, there was literally a gap of only one minute since Sonic started his sprint, meaning he was 27 miles away).

I can't believe it, that was totally weird, first Blaze didn't recognize me, then I pointed to my butt, then I fell of a bench, then she almost kissed and thankfully if it wasn't for the fact she's dumber then the dinosaurs from The Lost World: Jurassic Park, I wouldn't have gotten away, but, seriously, when did she get more gullible then Knuckles?, and why was that a run-on sentence?", Sonic said to himself at a hyper pace, keeping with the fact that he was on the run.

But in the process of running away from his back-up for Sally, Sonic accidentally bumped into Knuckles. It was a wonder why Knuckles didn't punch his lights out.

Sorry about that, I was too busy running away from a back-up girlfriend to notice your fat butt in my path", Sonic apologized, half meaning it considering the situation.

No problem, hey wait a minute, did you steal Sonic's voice?", Knuckles questioned.

I AM Sonic!", Sonic explained. He realized during his run that he'd have to explain this at least a million times, so he just decided to just cut to the chase.

Sonic!, this cat ATE you?", Knuckles shouted, yanking open Sonic's (cat) jaw and peering inside.

Sonic sweat-dropped.

Don't worry, Sonic!, I'm coming to save you!", Knuckles exclaimed, starting to climb in.

Sonic sighed as well as he could with a Knuckle-sandwich in his mouth, pulled Knuckles out and stared at him, looking very bored

I AM Sonic"", Sonic repeated, showing Knuckles the last chapter of this story. (Hooray for unfunny 4th Wall Jokes!)

Sorry, Sonic", Knuckles said when he found out who Sonic (cat) was.

You can prove to me you're sorry by taking a bath", Sonic muttered, spitting on the ground. Knuckles tasted like old socks and tartar sauce.

So, what're you gonna do?" Knuckles asked plainly, trying to ignore Sonic's comment.

Prevent myself from Blaze's cat toy", Sonic replied, looking around for Blaze.

Don't you mean BOY toy?", Knuckles teased, raising his eyebrows.

Nah, I'd say cat toy", Sonic argued.

Both of you are wrong, you gonna be my boy/cat toy!", Blaze told the two of them.

Sonic turned around, saw Blaze, yelped and made a mad dash.

Blaze and Knuckles stared in Sonic's direction for a while, then turned to each other.

You know who that is?", Knuckles asked Blaze.

Nope", Blaze replied.

Want me to tell you you?", Knuckles offered.

I'd prefer you didn't", Blaze admitted, going after Sonic again.

Knuckles shrugged. It was none of his concern.

MEANWHILE, THOUSAND OF MILES AWAY

For almost half an hour, Sonic had been trying to hide over and over again, but Blaze always seemed to find him. He hid behind a tree, Blaze was in it; he hid in a dumpster, Blaze stole a dump truck; Sonic hid on top of the CN Tower, Blaze payed to get on top; Sonic hid in an Ernest movie, Blaze had a cameo. It was a mess. But, finally, Sonic came across the best hiding place possible: A George bush! Of course!

Sonic dove into the bush faster then you could say "Sonic dove into the bush faster then you could say" and plainly waited.

All I have to do is wait", Sonic thought.

His quills/fur stood on end when he heard Blaze's voice.

Come out, putty tat!, I want to make you my boy/cat toy and make Amy Rose go insane!", Blaze called out.

Sonic peeked out a hole in the (George W.) bush and watched Blaze pace around the park, looking. Eventually, she left.

Oh, thank Grambi", Sonic whispered, getting out the bush.

Hello", Blaze said quickly.

Sonic jumped straight up and latched onto a branch of the tree that was above him.

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?", Sonic exclaimed, looking nervously at Blaze.

I have a Flux Capacitor", Blaze shrugged. (Yes, shrugging is now a way of talking.)

OK then, now, how do I get down?", Sonic wondered aloud.

I'll catch you", Blaze offered in a seductive tone, holding out both her arms.

No way!" Sonic shouted, gripping the branch tighter.

Fine then, wait for the fire department to totally ruin your rep", Blaze said, holding both her hands up and walking away like nothing happened.

Sonic thought for a second.

Catch me!", Sonic yelled to blaze.

Blaze looked back at Sonic with a seductive/satisfied glare. She walked back under the tree as Sonic let go. Blaze, of course, caught Sonic, spun in a circle and pinned Sonic against the tree so hard, leaves (and a ladder) fell out.

Now, sweetie, you forgot something", Blaze told Sonic, putting her face close to his.

My wallet?", Sonic asked, trying to play dumb.

And this", Blaze whispered, KISSING Sonic. (Oh, God, never thought I'd be typing that. I'm not into romance stories.)

Sonic could feel Blaze's tongue inside his mouth, their saliva mixing into one disgusting mess. He could also Blaze's tongue, going up his throat, out his nose, into his ear and working its way into his brain. (Wait, what?) The kiss lasted several minutes (and in that time, Sonic forgot where his house was) until blaze finally let up and her tongue snaked its way back into her mouth. Immediately, Blaze pulled it out and it turned out it was a remote controlled one.

Your mouth taste like honey", Blaze said happily, an odd thing to say after Sonic was forced to kiss.

That's probably because I threw up in mouth, in turn causing my to throw up down your throat", Sonic admitted sheepishly.

Blaze stared wide eyed at Sonic for a second, then ran to a near by water fountain to rinse her mouth out.

Sonic thanked The Lord(Or The Rings) he threw up in her mouth and used this to her advantage.

When Blaze was sure she was done rinsing, she saw Sonic was gone. She held up a sign that read, "Dang" and chased after Sonic.

Sonic ( Runnicus Notacaticus) was running through the city like the Road Runner would. Blaze (Fireicus Insaneicus) was hot in pursuit, determined to make him her's.

Blaze took a quick shortcut to where Sonic was gonna end up. She quickly painted an X on the ground, put a chili dog on top of the X and ran to where a large teeter-totter was set up with a huge rock ready to be flung towards the X. Blaze waited a few seconds. Sonic ran to the chili dog, stopped and inspected it to make sure it wasn't poisoned, since most he found laying on the street on top of an X were. Blaze quickly climbed a little stairway to the top of some electricity wires, jumped down on the teeter-totter and sent the rock flying...right on top of herself. When she saw it coming, she simply pulled out a VERY tiny umbrella and waited for the impact. It did hit her, but she (somehow) wasn't hurt.

The very next thing she tried was the bridge leading the eastern side of Station Square. She used her fire powers to melt the bridge, made a quick picture that made it looked like the bridge was still there, placed where the bridge was and waited in a (George W.) bush. The way Sonic was running, she figured, he'd fall right into the river and she'd go in to scoop him up. But when Sonic DID get there, he ended up running INTO the painting. Blaze came out from the bush, dumbstruck, holding up a sign that read "?". She took a few steps back and took a running start towards the painting. Needless to say, she fell through.

Finally, Blaze constructed an ACME Checkpoint, placed it on top of giant rock in the Station Square Grand Canyon (you didn't know they had that?) that meant that if Sonic fell into her next trap, he would be trapped. Blaze also made it so she could use a rope to swing down and snatch Sonic. Well, her plan half-worked. Sonic DID end up on the check point, but when Blaze swooped into grab him, Sonic simply did the famous "Meep, meep" and ran on top of the Canyon like it wasn't there, it was only painted. Blaze stared at the spectacle, failing to notice the giant wall she was heading for. She hit it and fell to the ground much like a certain Coyote would.

At the bottom of the Canyon, Blaze pulled herself out of the hole she had made and looked up.

I don't know how Willie E. Coyote does this", she murmured, getting back onto the road and continued to chase the Blue Bomber.

Believe it or not, this only took an hour! And Yoshi 2.1 said he/she/it spent a week on this.

Anyways, yes, the end of the chapter was a parody of the Road Runner (and to avoid any confusion, Blaze's tongue going into Sonic's brain is a parody of the Mind Scrambling Kiss from Superman II).

Check Ya Later, so please don't be surprised if I'm groping you in the middle of the night (THAT WAS A JOKE).