A/N – Hi there and thank you for your warm welcome to this story last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one just as much if not more. Readers have asked/commented on if Gold was the source of angst in this fic. Yes he is in a few ways. I promise a happy ending and there is a reason for everything that happens involving him. There are a few mysteries in this for the reader to unravel. There are clues to each mystery in every chapter starting with this one which lays the rest of the foundation for Regina's key relationships. :-)
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Chapter 2 - Memories
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"Gina!" Emma threw herself into the open arms at the base of the school steps. Even though she had just seen Gina two hours ago when her autograph book was dropped off for Show & Tell, she got tons of kisses now just as she did then.
"Hello my little duck." Regina never tired of Emma's enthusiasm. "How was the rest of your day?" Asking as kids and parents alike mingled around them on the busy sidewalk. She counted herself more than lucky to be able to have that same sense of belonging with the child at her feet.
"Awesomesauce!" Tugging on that hand that held hers toward the waiting car, Emma beamed upwards. "Time to go home?"
Her heart still fluttered each time Emma said that word and Regina smiled. "Home soon, after your session with Dr. Hopper." And Emma's smile dimmed at those words and she squeezed that hand. "I know, sweetheart."
"But I don't like going there." Pouting now and with it her foot wanted to stomp, but Emma left it on the ground when Gina cupped her chin.
"Hey now, look at me." Waiting until she had those expressive eyes on her. "It's only until when?"
Toeing the concrete when they paused at the curb Emma repeated a well used phrase. "Until we share a last name."
"Mmhm. We are already a family. We don't need a judge or a piece of paper to tell us that." Regina rubbed a thumb along a cheek as Emma began to brighten again. "And how close are we to sharing a last name?"
Emma remembered their calendar on the fridge. The one that had their week laid out real big in easy words she could read and then the smaller one under it for the month ahead of appointments and events. That one had pages that moved to new months and they had counted the months until the Big Day just last weekend. "A few months."
"And tonight after dinner you can mark the calendar with another X to show we are one day closer. Until then there are a lot of rules we need to follow and things to do to make sure we are ready for our Big Day. Your weekly sessions with Dr. Hopper are one of those things Emma."
While Regina understood the process of adoption and this addition a necessary evil she hated how it was affecting Emma and being a little girl Emma did not always understand that. While Dr. Hopper was a pleasant patient man and highly skilled, Emma almost always left those sessions in a sour mood and the aftermath on such nights was something she was still learning to help support Emma through. Sometimes Emma was quiet, other times a teary mess, and others still a bundle of upset that could go in any direction. Resting memories stirred and poked in that little head always had a price.
Emma mulled this over as she was led to the car. She waved to Charming and she liked how he tipped his hat and smiled like the prince she imagined him to be. He and Mary-Margaret were fostering her best friend Jasmine and because she was in kindergarten she got out an hour earlier than the fourth graders did, so Charming usually dropped them off and came back for Jasmine. Emma was really happy that her friend was in a good home like she was. She was buckled into her car seat and Gina sat next to her. The big work purse was put between them. Hungry now, Emma dug into the side pocket looking for her snack but there were a bunch of papers in her way.
"Careful sweetheart." Regina took the purse back on her lap and pulled out an apple she'd grabbed from her fruit bowl at work and a bottle of water from the console across from them to give to little waiting hands.
Emma happily chewed her snack and chattered about her Show & Tell on the way to see Dr. Hopper. Then curious she asked. "What's the papers for? Is it homework?"
"In a way, yes." Regina looked up from skimming a file and making a note. In the traffic to pick Emma up on time she had made a small dent in the pile. "Speaking of which, do you have any?"
"I gotta read the list of words to practice." Mentioning something called sight words she had to do each night. There was a new list in her backpack to do and they looked hard. Emma watched as the files went away then and that very sheet pulled out and remembered they usually tried to do homework before her session on Thursdays, but other days they waited until they got home. When Gina pointed to a word she recited. Some come out correct and others not, but with help she got through the hard words a few times before the car stopped.
Emma felt her tummy tighten at the familiar door and stoop of what kids in her old group home called the Quack's Office she could see through the window. There weren't any ducks in there so she wasn't sure what that meant and had told ZeeZee as much this morning when they had gotten her special chocolate coffee that wasn't coffee. ZeeZee had said that some doctor's were quacks, but not all of them and that's where the word came from. She wondered if her doctor was one and if so, how to tell if that was the case.
Out of the car and up the steps she went holding Gina's hand. Emma was signed in and then given a hug before she had to go with Dr. Hopper into the play therapy room. It was full of toys. Some of them Emma liked. Others she was not sure what they were for, but she never really played with them. Today she went to the art table instead of the pretty colorful rug in the middle to sit. She sat in one chair and saw a brand new box of markers. Gina had bought her markers and she had some at home she liked to make pictures with. Then Dr. Hopper was talking to her and Emma looked up from the blank paper on the table. "Huh?"
Archie Hopper adjusted his glasses as they slipped down his nose at the little blonde across from him and smiled. "I asked how you are doing since our last session?"
Emma frowned remembering that one. He had asked her what scared her and she had said the dark, the door bell noise—but only at night—being alone and the stove and then the scary voice and pictures showed up in her mind again; a movie she didn't want to watch and did not know how to pause or turn off. She had refused to talk the rest of the session. That night she hadn't talked much at all. Even to Gina.
She itched her forearm over the raised pink scar thinking about the stove and their last talk. The scary voice and images were almost there in her mind, but not quite yet. Dr. Hopper's eyes went to her arm and Emma promptly dropped it under the table and answered. "I'm fine." She just had to talk a little bit and then Gina would take her home. Then Emma brightened at the other promise of the day that pushed the dark thoughts away. "It's Thursday so we get to have takeout for dinner and I always get to pick."
Archie penned a note with a smile. "And what will you pick to eat?"
"Duh! Chinese. I like the slippery noodles, but Gina says I have to have pro-tein with it too." Emma sat up some and reached for a red marker on the table. "I get chicken and not fish. I don't like to eat fish." Her tongue poked out of her mouth to show as much and Dr. Hopper laughed, but not at her. Just at what she did to be silly. Emma knew the difference. Maybe this guy wasn't a quack or so bad after all. She could easily talk about food all day long.
"Do you and Gina ever cook together?"
A big grin slipped on a little face as Emma began to relax. She uncapped the marker. "Uh-huh, but only I get to call her Gina and sometimes ZeeZee, but really only me.
"I beg your pardon." Archie made another note and flipped the page of his notebook as Emma began to draw something.
"I like giving people nicknames too. Like the guy who drives us places. I call him Charming and his wife is Snow White." The marker hovered over the paper as Emma stared at him for a long moment, deciding something. "You're kinda like the nice buggy in Pinocchio who helps people talk about stuff. What's his name?
"I believe it is Jiminy Cricket."
And the marker was moving across the page again. "Yeah that's you." Having figured him out in her mind Emma felt her tummy loosen.
The Doctor smiled at the easy sharing. It had taken nearly six weeks, the first two of which Emma did not say a word to him, but Emma was starting to open up a bit more each session. Regina had mentioned the child liking art the last time they had spoken and he promptly switched tactics this session in hopes of making some progress on the main reason they were here. There was one particular CPS report in the child's file he was tasked with helping Emma work through.
"What kinds of things do you cook?" Archie listened to quite the extensive list and at the end prompted carefully. "When you are cooking with Regina does the stove ever bother you then?"
Emma scribbled harder on the paper, brow pinched in concentration and she shook her head no. "Gina says I can't use it alone or touch it to play with and I don't want to anyway. She uses it and she doesn't scare me."
Penning another note. "How does the stove scare you then?"
"Only if I get too close to the top part, but Gina keeps me safe so I don't do that." Answering, Emma switched out red for black. "Do you like to cook?"
Rolling with the question Archie answered with a few of his favorite dishes. They talked some more about different kinds of food before Emma suddenly grew quiet and stared at the picture on the table.
Her heart started to go faster as Emma looked at the drawing. Her hand went to her arm again to rub the scar. Red and blue lights flashed in her mind's eye at the memory. The lady yelling mixed with her crying. The scary images and sounds were pounding between her temples. The searing heat. The sick smell. All of it flooded her senses as she felt her body flush with sweat.
Foster lady number five had said never to tell or Emma would get it. She was not sure what that meant, but she knew it must be really, really bad and Emma wished she would never get what 'it' was. She hadn't told. Even when the doctors said they didn't like the burn or bruise she had on her other arm. They said it looked like someone had grabbed her. Still Emma didn't answer their questions and that must have been the right thing to do because she got her wish and did not see that lady again.
"Emma?"
At the kind tone Emma reached for the paper and balled it up, now angry at having to talk about something she didn't want to remember. Something that made her heart and head hurt. Tears blurred the room and she sniffed them back. Other kids had said not to cry in front of the quacks. Something about having to take pills for it and Emma hated medicine. Then she 'membered to use her words like Gina said instead of throwing the paper like she wanted to. "I don't wanna talk no more."
Archie closed the notebook with a reassuring tone. "Okay Emma." He pointed to the table across the way. "There is some brand new play dough in that box. How about you play with that for a little bit while I go finish up with Regina alright?"
"Kay." Emma readily slid out of the chair and went across the room more than done with the session and the chirping cricket.
The man took up the crumpled ball went to the door and waved his assistant in to sit with Emma while he took a few minutes to take in the drawing. Archie worked open the tight paper ball it and with a frown he went to get Emma's foster parent in the waiting room. The brunette was thumbing a thick stack of papers there in one of the chairs. "Ms. Mills?"
Regina jerked her head up in surprise and she glanced at her Apple watch. "Is she done so soon?"
"Not quite." Archie said and gestured to the hall with a nod. "I'd like to debrief with you first, if you don't mind."
That was also a surprise and a concern. Putting the files away, Regina stood to follow him into his small but tidy office. She expected Emma to be in here and finding it empty she looked around and felt her stomach cramp. "Is Emma alright?"
Only having been called back to talk with him once before a few weeks ago when Emma had burst into tears in the middle of a session and he had not been able to calm her. Child had shared about a time cops had come into one of the foster homes in the middle of the night. A night documented in Emma's file as a drug bust and Emma had been taken to a safe house after having woken to strangers taking her from her bed. The night after that reveal Emma hadn't left Regina's side and neither of them had gotten any sleep through the nightmares that followed.
Regina eyed the room with the one couch and coffee table with a desk and chair in the corner. Pictures of what she assumed were his family and small trinkets were placed in a pleasing manner all about. While Dr. Hopper's office had a homey feel unlike some of the more sterile clinical ones she'd been in before, these offices made her uncomfortable. Regina had been in them a few times throughout her life for grief counseling and while she genuinely thought he meant well, this felt too familiar in all the wrong ways as memory pushed in…
"Shall we try talking today Ms. Mills?" Dr. Ruth said.
"Regina. Just Re-gina." Insisting on her name that cracked in the middle of her dry throat.
Scribbling on paper. "Regina then. Would you tell me about why you are here?"
Regina took a slow breath as that pen moved on a notepad across the way. This was her third attempt in the last four months since Kathryn… and a new therapist each time in hope that something would help her be able to speak. To get some of this feelings haunting her out so she could get some sleep. But talking about it made it real. Zee was worried and Mother too and for them she was trying.
She tried staring at the carpet from her seat on the couch of the therapist's office. Thorough her sunglasses Regina thought it appeared beige, but really couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore. She didn't want to be here talking to this woman about her feelings. Not when she didn't feel anything at all. Numb her heart and mind were since the car accident.
Regina liked the shades. Had been wearing them since the funeral. They kept the world out, a shield from the brightness of reality that had stolen her love away. She had seen everything about the accident from her perch on the front stoop of the brownstone waiting for Kathryn to come home from work so they could take their evening walk together before dinner. The way the light changed at the corner from green to red as she stood up to wave. Regina saw the white truck that went when it should not have. Fast too fast and it crashed into the driver's side door of the beat up yellow Volkswagen Bug Kathryn refused to replace. They could more than afford it, and Regina didn't think the tin can was anywhere near safe, but Kathryn insisted on sentiment for the classic had since high school. Yellow beetle flipped to roll as screams had rolled from her mouth. Regina had seen everything she loved lost much too clearly with her own naked eyes.
Dr. Ruth tried again. "Are you alright?"
She nodded, forcing a her mask into place with a smile. But Regina was not that word. Not at all…
"Ms. Mills are you alright?" Archie asked as the woman in front of him blinked rapidly.
The room was thick around the edges and Regina cleared her throat, nodding once sharply. "It's just Regina. And yes I'm alright." Though she wasn't quite yet, but she sat anyway deciding to take the chair by the desk and leave the couch for him.
Archie shut the door not missing the chosen seating arrangement, but went with it easily enough. "Emma's playing right now. My assistant is watching her. She's doing okay for the moment, but she did get upset." He reached into his notebook and took out the crumpled page to hand over. "And she drew this."
Taking the paper Regina stared at the red and black squiggles that vaguely resembled two people. One small and one big. They were in what appeared to be a kitchen since there was a something like a box with circles on top. The big stick figure stood over the small one and had its mouth open and red marks were coming out of the mouth. The smaller figure had arms crossed over the head and blue dots on the face Regina guessed to be tears. The cramping in her stomach turned into twisting and Regina set the drawing on the table between them as Archie explained the most basic parts of the conversation he had with Emma about fears.
"This is not usually how I do things." He wrapped up, clasping his hands together as the woman remained staring at the drawing.
"Then why show me at all?" Regina snapped suddenly irritated with him, clear on exactly what she thought about being kept in the dark where Emma was concerned.
"Because I wanted to know if Emma has drawn anything like this before?" Getting a head shake, Archie continued. "If she does, will you please share it with me?" A nod followed that statement and he knew he had offended in some way. There were rules he had to follow as Emma's therapist when the child was a ward of the state no matter whose care said child was in. "I know the system, how it works, does not seem fair. My intent is to help Emma and also to help you help her, but my choices on the latter are limited. I just thought you should know Emma had a rough go of it today. You know a little about our goal for these sessions. It is a good sign that she is starting to open up about the incident."
"The abuse Dr. Hopper." Regina gave him her eyes then. "Let's call it what it is." Anger returning over the lack of a full conviction for the woman in question that had scarred Emma in more ways than one. "A lost license to foster is a slap on the wrist for what that monster put my daughter through."
Archie quirked a brow and sat back regarding Regina with new interest. "You must have some connections in DSS or the police department then to know that much." Neither confirming nor denying that information he was privileged to and he knew to be true. Not allowed to discuss details of a therapy session with foster parents unless the child was deemed harm to self or others he was bending the rules to share what he did today. But something about Emma and this woman made him want to do just that.
"I do actually and an amazing sister who knows her way around both." A small smile for the fact and Regina relaxed a bit when Dr. Hopper smiled back. Then nodding to the picture and feeling the need to ask. "What do I do?"
"About the picture? Unless she draws more like it, nothing." Taking it back and slipping it away into his notebook. "About Emma specifically… Exactly what you are doing. She's making progress."
Shaking her head at the last several weeks of subtle behaviors and differences in Emma since therapy began, Regina pushed. "So an increase in nightmares, bed wetting, and separation anxiety are considered progress?"
"It is. Especially if the child in question has been through trauma like Emma and is just now in a safe consistent place with an adult she trusts to finally deal with it." At the eyes misting ahead of him Archie leaned in clasping his hands in front of him. "I know it feels like you are going backwards in some way, but this is a good thing. Emma's a very lucky little girl to have you on her team." Standing then when she did.
Regina adjusted her purse only half satisfied with his answer and wanting to see that Emma was alright as he said with her own eyes. "I'd like to take her home now Dr. Hopper."
"Of course." He went for the door and opened it. "And Ms… Regina. If you would ever like to make an appointment for yourself, just to talk, I am accepting new patients."
Regina's brow rose as she regarded him and surprised herself with her first response instead of an outright no. "Isn't that against policy?" She was well versed with the rules and protocols governing her existence with Emma for the next few months. In this convoluted system she wanted nothing to get in the way of the day no one could separate them or tell her how to raise her daughter.
"Not if you were to make an appointment on your own and we didn't discuss the details of Emma's sessions."
Regina was curious at the offer and just why he was making it, but not ready to go there in the least. "I'm fine. It's Emma I'm worried about."
"Of course." Nodding Archie took the hint to leave well enough alone for now and led the way to the playroom door where his assistant and Emma were waiting. "Until next week then."
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Emma remained quiet on the ride home and well through the take out dinner ordered in spite of Regina's gentle attempts at conversation. As Regina loaded the dishes in the washer Emma sat at the island tracing circles on the marble counter top. She eyed the circling that was accompanied with a yawn as she wiped her hands and decided that perhaps Emma was overly tired to boot. She more than was too. Making a decision to be done with the day Regina folded the towel neatly to place by the sink. "Let's get you cleaned up and we can cuddle up with our book a little early tonight. How does that sound?" Suggesting an activity she knew Emma enjoyed as much as she did. It had become part of their routine every night. One her late Father always made time to do with her and Zelena no matter how busy he was.
Emma brightened and then her nose wrinkled. She wanted their book right now, but not what it meant to get there. "I don't wanna bath Gina."
"You didn't want one last night either and I said you could skip with the deal that you would have one tonight sweetheart." Moving to the island and leaning on her forearms to be eye level when Emma's dipped lower. "Do you remember that deal?"
Nodding. "But I don't like the deal now." Emma slipped from her chair and moved over to bury her face into Gina's stomach in a hug. "I just wanna read instead."
"And we will, after your bath." Rubbing tension from small shoulders and wondering over the near shrill whine now vibrating through her blouse. "Come on little duck. Let's get those wings of yours clean, hmm?" Regina could feel Emma smile some against her at the use of the nickname and began to move them towards the door.
"Nuh uh." Another whine as her hand was taken and Emma promptly sat on the floor slipping it. She really didn't mind the idea of a bath. She liked those, but was tired and wanted their book and snuggles and to not feel the wild feeling spinning her tummy around in circles anymore. Like it did every time after talking to Dr. Hopper. Emma was tired in a way she didn't know how to explain. Not droopy eye tired, well maybe just a little, but tired of feeling everything about the scary memory all over again. It wasn't happening now, so why did it matter so much to talk about it now? Adults were strange that way Emma decided as she frowned at the tile she was sitting on.
Regina paused in thought of her first reaction which was to give in to Emma entirely just to erase the frown from that face. Her second thought and the more logical one was to have Emma sit on the step in timeout for not listening. Then she thought more about what her gut was saying to do. In the parenting books she'd been reading she remembered that children did well with choices and natural consequences when possible. While Emma was refusing direction she understood why. Emma was sleepy, but more so did not have a choice over therapy or the feelings that came with it. So Regina decided to give one instead. "Well then you may sit here for a while or we may go have your bath. Our book comes after the bath, so when you are ready, you let me know." Emma promptly crossed little arms from her words and Regina moved to sit at one of the stools in wait to go through her e-mail. After a minute her phone rang. Glancing at Emma, she was tight lipped and not moving so Regina knew it would be a few minutes more at least. Then she looked at the screen.
Mother
Great.
And she answered. "Hello Mother."
A pause. "You don't sound enthused to be hearing from me."
Regina rubbed her forehead at the crisp tone through the ear piece. "I'm not enthused at the moment, but it's—"
"Did everything work out with Emma and the school today?" Cora asked.
"It did. Thank you. I was able to get her autograph book there in time." There was another pause over the line and Regina remembered why they did not talk much on the phone or at all really outside of work. "Is there something you need from me?"
"Actually no, but I do have some good news. I took the liberty of helping to insure that things like today would have less of a chance of happening again."
'Uh oh.' Regina thought and sat up as her stomach turned over. Whenever Mother tried to be helpful things tended not to go well for her. "Dare I ask how so?"
Cora scoffed. "I did you a favor truly. I reserved a place for Emma to attend Trinity School next fall."
Regina's jaw dropped and for a moment the room turned white as memories of her own childhood attending the prestigious religious private school came flooding back. Mother seemed to take her lack of response for approval and continued on.
"It's close to your home and has a rigorous academics program as you well know. And with Emma's needs she could catch up to her peers much sooner than at that school she is in now. They have door to door car service which would alleviate your having to pick Emma up so often—"
"Stop. Just stop." The command was out before Regina could remember to whom she was speaking.
Sharp. "Regina."
"Please." Regina shook her head and rested her hand over her face with a deep breath. "Stop helping. Trinity is not even on my list of choices Mother." She had been looking into transferring Emma come fall once the adoption was finalized to a school closer to home. There were wonderfully rated public schools in her area and she did not think a private education was necessarily the way to go with Emma. And while Trinity school itself was fine, her experience of it as she remembered was not.
"Nonsense. I already put a deposit toward her reservation and the tuition. At the very least tour the school with her. I made you both an appointment for early next week. Your secretary has the details. Also, I wanted to encourage you to make the most out of the opportunity to work more closely with Robert. I know he pushed you into that deal today, but he has taken quite a shine to you and with your combined talents you would make an unstoppable team. I'm proud of you for holding your ground with him Regina."
Praise with a bite and Regina could not stomach it at the moment. Her mind was slammed with feelings she couldn't sort quick enough. "Mother…" Then deciding now was not the time to have this talk when she remembered who was in the room and now tugging on her arm. Regina gave Emma a patient smile, rubbing that little back as she wrapped up. "I need to go. I'll discuss this with you later." And she hung up and pressed the ignore button when it rung immediately again. She was more than angry. Livid actually for a few different reasons and wanted to call Zee to vent. Another tug and Regina schooled her expression and gave her full attention to Emma. "Are you ready for your bath so we may have our cuddle time and read our book?" That idea sounded like the little piece of heaven she needed after today.
"Uh-huh." Emma rubbed her eye suddenly sleepy. "Bubbles and rubber ducky too?"
"Yes sweetheart." Lifting Emma to her hip and brushing her lips to a soft pink cheek. "I think this day calls for both bubbles and your ducky."
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"Mother certainly put you in a bad way didn't she?" Zelena took a bite of her salmon filet and eyed her brooding sister across the table staring out the window. It was a wet and rainy afternoon that seemed to fit the mood her sister was in. She had barely managed to drag Regina out of the brownstone for lunch.
"Mother and Gold both, yes." Sighing, Regina turned back to look at her plate. His words about her being her Father's daughter running through her mind.
"Goldilocks aside for the moment, Mother called me last night in a complete tizzy demanding I talk some sense into you." Another bite as she waited for a reaction.
Rolling her eyes Regina sat up. "And is your way of tricking me into the car away from a work deadline on a Friday afternoon talking sense?" Regina stabbed her kale salad with a fork. "Because this is not helping my stress levels."
"I didn't trick you. It's not my fault you jump to conclusions so quickly." Smirking when she'd shown up at the brownstone a half hour ago saying there was something outside that needed immediate attention. Zelena had all but tossed Regina's ass into the car and driven them to her sister's favorite restaurant. "This," indicating the dry martini's she'd ordered them both, "is how I talk sense and now that I've done my part you need to vent. So go on and have at it."
Regina set down her fork with a sigh. "She's doing it again Zee. She's trying to make my decisions for me under the guise of being helpful. She nearly registered Emma at Trinity of all places and had the nerve to tell me when she and I would be touring it too."
"And she makes it sound as if you won't even discuss the idea at all with her."
Regina finally reached for her martini at that news and took a sip to remove the bitterness forming there. "That is not the case I assure you."
"I know." And Zelena did know just how much their Mother could push. "And when it comes right down to it, Emma's education is your choice GiGi."
"It is. I just don't understand Mother's reasoning sometimes. Forgetting the autograph book has nothing to do with changing schools or insuring that I won't be inconvenienced, as she implied, by having to pick Emma up at school." Shaking her head Regina began to pick at her salad once more. "I enjoy getting her from school each day and Emma does to."
"Just like we did when Daddy used to pick us up from Trinity." Zelena confirmed.
"So you do understand my reasons."
"I do and you have my support on the matter entirely. I also see Mother's side of it." One shoulder popped up and then down as she cut another bite to place neatly on her fork. "She wanted the absolute best for us both and made sure we had it. I expect she just wants the same for Emma."
"You would see it her way." Said with a teasing and knowing tone.
"Course! That's why I am such an ace lawyer." Zelena smiled back proudly. "Perspective and seeing two sides is my forte."
Regina smirked and covered her mouth with her hand as she finished chewing. Then she grew serious again as another thought entered her mind. "How much of that was your choice Zee?" Her sister's posture immediately stiffened.
"I love what I do."
"As do I and I'm not saying you don't, but how much of anything growing up or even in college was our choice?" Seeing she had caused a train of thought under those bright red waves so much like their Mother's, Regina continued. "This is what I mean with Mother. She means well sure, but in a controlling and manipulative way."
"That's just how Mother is. You know it, I know it, and Daddy certainly knew it because he chose to sleep next to the harpy every night for almost forty years." Zelena grimaced over the image just as her sister did.
"That doesn't mean she gets carte blanche over our lives."
"In Mother's mind that's exactly what it means. She shows her love through control GiGi. I'm not saying it excuses her actions or makes them right, but it does make her a hell of a lot easier to deal with when you realize her interactions with us will never be about us. It's all about her. It sucks balls. Big time, but I've accepted it and I should know. I spent a fortune on therapy doing so."
Regina's head shook, not entirely accepting that answer. "When we were kids did you ever want to do anything else with your life other than the course she set your feet to?"
Zelena tossed her hair back over a shoulder and sat up rather primly. "Children want a lot of things, but some are not necessarily the best for them." A perfect imitation of their Mother's tone.
A brief chuckle and an eye roll. "Come on Zee. I told you what I think now I want to hear what you think."
"Fuck what we think. That never got either of us anywhere with her now did it?" Picking up her Martini to take a sip Zelena sighed over Regina's unrelenting stare. "Fine. But I think we need another cocktail if I am going to answer that question honestly." Said in all seriousness as she nodded to their waiter with a wrist flick to their drinks. "But no. As controlling as Mother is she had me pegged correctly on that regard from day one. I have always wanted to be a lawyer. Daddy used to also say I was good at arguing my way into and out of anything."
"So you never wanted anything else than what you are doing right now."
"Well nothing is set in stone. Maybe one day I'll settle down, get married to prince charming, do the whole Stepford Wife and Mum bit while looking smashing doing it." She laughed as Regina snorted.
"I hardly see you as a Stepford Wife type."
"It is kind of ridiculous isn't it. The whole vacuuming in heels with pearls thing and in a girdle no less." Zelena's nose wrinkled over the idea reflecting as she took another sip. "Do you remember when we were both looking at collages and I had been accepted to Oxford in their law program?" Even thought they were a year apart in age, Regina had skipped a year in primary school and from that point on they had planned their after high school adventure together.
Regina nodded and then again to the waiter in thanks who refreshed their drinks. "How can I forget? You nearly shattered the windows screaming in happiness, but what does that have to do with this?"
Zelena grinned at that memory fondly, but took a slow breath anyway. "I was excited for more than just getting into Oxford for it being Oxford, but because it meant being away from New York for so long." Her eyes suddenly filled with past ache. "I know you resented my leaving and not joining you here, but I needed to get out and find out who the hell I was without her constantly trying to define that for me."
"Zee." Regina reached taking her sister's hand. "I didn't resent you for that or at all for that matter."
Scoffing. "Well your four months of the silent treatment said something very differently at the time."
"You trashed all of our plans without so much as a heads up you were going to do so and slapped me with Oxford when I didn't even know you had applied. I reached out to you after a month."
A challenging look. "And if I had told you I wanted to apply would you have let me do so without the same guilt trip?"
Silence.
Zelena sighed. "I didn't think I would even get in and I didn't want to say anything when I was 99 percent sure I wouldn't get my foot in the door. That acceptance letter came as a complete shock to me and I just couldn't not go." She went back and forth between her sister's eyes seeking understanding. "After a month of you not talking to me it was my turn to be mad at you and when I was ready to talk you were not."
Regina shook her head. "I was mad at the wrong person." A deep breath. They had never really spoken about those months. Four of the near longest in her life until Zee had come home for Christmas holiday that first year. Mother had insisted she meet her sister at the airport and Zee had come out to baggage claim a whirlwind of lively energy. She could feel the sense of freedom coming off her sister in waves and had said so in the moment. Then they had picked up as if they hadn't spent the time apart in complete silence. It was easier than addressing the quiet hurt. "We had always planned on going to college together and when you decided to go out of the country I didn't know where that left me and then Mother turned her complete focus on me. She was suffocating to say the least. I just did not know how to handle it well and I took it out on you."
Another sip of a martini and Zelena couldn't help herself. "If this is you apologizing you bloody well suck at it."
"Well I'm sorry for sucking and the other thing."
Softening. "I am too. I'm still a bit sore over it, but I didn't know how bad it was for you. She's like a dog on a bone that one."
And as if on cue Regina's phone buzzed in her purse in a pattern they both well knew for who it was. Regina reached down to look at the screen briefly for a message and silenced the annoying buzz. "How she does that I will never know."
"My theory is when we were puppies she had us chipped with microphones and tracking devices."
"I wouldn't put it past her."
"What's Mother hen clucking about now?"
Regina sat back in her chair taking her martini with her. "She wants to know if you have done your job convincing me about Trinity yet."
"What was that?" Cupping her ear. "All I heard was Charlie Brown's teacher—blah, blah, blah."
Laughing Regina shook her head. "I'll be sure to tell her you were incredible detailed in your bullet points and slideshow so she stays off your case about this whole thing. It's my problem. What Mother did, when I was in college and now, is something I need to deal with and address with her." Regina affirmed. Gold too, but that was a challenge for another day. "But right now what matters to me is that the air between us is clear."
Zelena gave a half smile. "It is if it means that you're paying for lunch?"
"It does." Picking up her martini for a toast. Regina tapped their glasses together in forgiveness. "If you'd have given me a chance to grab my purse at home."
"Right." Moss colored eyes rolled fondly. "Rain check then."
Regina gestured to the window where rain slapped the glass. "We'll have to or you'll melt."
A laugh. "You'd best bust out an umbrella then otherwise you'll have to tell my little Monkey why her auntie is suddenly a puddle at your feet."
"Knowing Emma she'd jump right in it without a second thought as to who it might be." A fond smile. "Speaking of Emma are we all set for the hearing next week?"
"As set as we can be paperwork wise."
"And the judge, you know him?"
Zelena ran her hand through her hair as she finished her drink. "I know of him and my friends I know who work in family law that I have spoken with say he's all about what is best for the child so your intent to adopt should be approved without a hitch." Then she leaned forward. "Try not to worry so much. By this time next week we will be one step closer to making Emma an official Mills."
Regina only nodded as Zelena got their waiter's attention for the bill. She hoped it was that simple. She needed it to be and more importantly so did Emma. As grateful as she was for her sister's support, Regina wished Kathryn was here telling her these things. Here by her side for the whole experience. Together as they had said they would when they found the right child for them. In this case Emma had found her and as much as she missed her wife, her daughter had given her heart a reason to love again. Emma had turned her grief into hope and Regina hoped it was enough to keep their family together. That was not her decision though and that out of control feeling did not rest easy in her heart. But Zelena seemed sure everything would go well. The papers were in order and she had complied with everything the state had asked her to do in regards to Emma. Small and even fragile now as their family was, it was their own special love and she was not going to let go of it for anything.
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A/N – Next chapter our mystery with Emma begins! Hope you are liking this so far.
Also, Cora will come around in this eventually. She and Regina have a few things to work out first they have been avoiding.
