A/N Since I'm running two other stories at the same time, this one's going to be the slowest updated. Right now I'm going to go for one update every two updates for Gods Not My Own, my Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Mabinogi crossover.

Again, special thanks to The One Called Demetra for the beta work!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-man is owned by Katsura Hoshino, and Animorphs belongs to K. A. Applegate. I own absolutely nothing in relation to either works, except for the idea to mesh them together.


It hurt.

It's already been a year, but still, my chest ached. Still, I felt like I was hit by a Dracon beam, and was left to die. Still, I hated Jake for being the coward he was, dumping his responsibility on others. Still, I expected to hear her voice in the morning, telling me to take the day like a man.

Still, I was such an idiot, never getting anything right.

Like the flower in my beak, straining under the cold, hard walls of wind that keep pushing us, resisting us. I knew I didn't pick the right flower. I knew I picked the wrong way of carrying the precious bundle.

Then I scolded myself for thinking this way on Rachel's deathday, of all times.

Finally, after much work, I broke through the overcast clouds, flying above them. I expected to sense a bit of triumph, having defeated the oppressive, turbulent winds that I could still hear howling beneath me.

But no. Everything was still monotone.

I shut my eyes fiercely and opened them, then blinked several times. Still no. Everything was gray, even above the clouds. I even felt gray, tired from all the work.

It was just me. I knew that. But even then, it was hard to believe anything colourful existed in this world.

It was hard to believe in happiness.

Should've been no surprise.


Chapter One –

It's A Gray World, After All


The futility of it all forced me to think effectively, and so I dropped below under the clouds again. I rode out the storm underneath, allowing it to buffet me to the centre of the low-pressure system building up over just where I wanted to go.

Where I wanted to go was Rachel's grave.

Twenty seconds later the wind I was riding shifted directions, and I was forced to drop down to a different current to continue my journey. The turbulence from the snarling air finally plucked a petal from the flower I was holding, making me wince. I knew this was such a bad way of transporting it.

It was too late to change my mind now. Even from here, I could start to discern the monument dedicated to Rachel's sacrifice. The only people I could see were that guard posted in that small station way to the south, and the man in the top hat seemingly arguing with him. Neither will see me. It was time to go.

I folded my wings and plunged down, trying to enjoy the sensation of gravity sucking me down, accelerating me at its nine point eight metres per second squared, until if I stopped even a second later, I'd be a puddle of bird goo on the ground in front of Rachel.

The notion gripped my mind.

It was so easy. All I needed was to conveniently "forget" about opening my wings, and two seconds later, I could be seeing Rachel again. A freak accident that no one could suspect was suicide. It was a perfect plan. It was a ticket to heaven.

'Get real!' the voice in my head snapped. Rachel's voice.

It wasn't anything new, really. She's been there ever since she died.

I sighed, and braked. The wind took me with enough force to rip a man's arms off.

Then I started morphing.

I winced again, this time from pain that flared around my beak – mouth – area. That meant my lips were back first, and they just got attacked by the thorns of the rose that I was still holding.

My wings, unfortunately, were next. The tips of my primary feathers started to change into nails, and from there it moved up until my entire arm and my shoulders made up most of my grossly disproportionate body. Then I fell face first on to the ground, sending fresh pains from my lips, and I took a moment to just lie there before I shakily moved to support my body with my hands.

Everything was still gray. Even the grass.

Then, the rest of my body morphed, leaving me totally human again.

And suddenly, I was ashamed that I never thought to wear anything formal. I was still in the green boxers and white undershirt I had last changed into. It was more than inappropriate, it was downright rude.

Then it finally started to rain, and I thought, 'At least I can say that I didn't want to get my tux wet now.'

Nevermind that I didn't own any tuxedo.

Now that I was ready – or at least, as ready as I ever will be – I turned back to Rachel's monument. I swallowed nervously as I went up and placed the single rose by the monument's foot, and started to speak.

"Rachel..."

That didn't come out right. My voice was too hoarse. I guess I haven't used it in a long time. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth again. Then I realized I had forgotten my lines.

So I went with the first thing that came to my mind.

"It's all so stupid!" I blurted out. "It should never have happened! If Jake wanted to off his brother, he should have been the one to do it, not you!"

Rachel's monument was unresponsive.

"You were the key. You were the most important. To all of us. To me! You deserved to live more than that bastard, that coward. Can you see him now? He's holed up. He's scared. Everyone calls him the hero. They don't know what he did. And...they don't know what you did."

I found, to my surprise, I was wringing my hands. It was a surprisingly human trait; something I thought was gone a long time ago.

Maybe that was untrue. Maybe I was more human than I admitted to myself.

Because if I wasn't, I might not ever have said what I would say next.

"You were brave, Rachel. You were the best, out of all of us Animorphs. Everyone respects you, even Ax. But..."

I took a deep breath.

"No one respects you more than I do. And no one loves you more than I do."


The rose was the sign of it.

At first, I had tried to find a flower that suited Rachel's character. But I found myself buying the rose, as the symbol of love.

A love that, as the silent slab in front of me indicated, would never get returned.

I hated the Yeerks for it. If only they had never come.

I hated Jake for it. If only he wasn't such a cretin.

But I also hated myself for it. We dated so many times, we hung around so long, and yet never once did I find myself confessing to her.

"Oh god..."

Weakly, I found myself on my knees. It was really pouring now. So much that I couldn't tell if my face was full of rain or tears.

"Rachel, forgive me. I wish...I wish there was a way to bring you back."

Reality set in.

"But there isn't."

"Are you sure?"

It was said in such a sing-song tone, I was sorely tempted to whack the child across his face. Then the moment passed, and I sighed before I turned.

It wasn't a child – it was a man. A fairly odd man at that, with his obnoxious top hat, his strangely gray cloak, large front teeth, old-fashioned glasses, pompously plump physique, and a somehow childish umbrella. The umbrella was opened above head, protecting him from the downpour that hammered down.

The urge to hit this man returned.

"Grow up," I told him bluntly. Then I turned back to the monument. 'Thanks for listening,' I told it, and then I started walking away.

"Wait! Wait!" The man seemed oddly panicked, and when I turned to give him a withering glare, he flinched back. "I mean...you're giving up too easily! Aren't you at least going to hear me out?"

"No," I said flatly. "Dead means gone."

The unspoken line was: 'It's never going to happen.'

And then the man gained a dangerous glint in his glasses.

"Really?" he said, more quietly, more poisonously. "I would watch my tongue if I were you. You lived far too short a life to know what love is capable of."

The human side of me was a little stunned. The hawk side of me hissed: 'Predator. Danger. Run!'

Then there was Rachel's input: 'He says love like it's a taboo.'

The moment abruptly passed when the stranger's mouth stretched into a wide grin. "Now that we're in agreement," he said cheerfully, "let the ritual begin!"

And then from somewhere in his cloak he produced something too small for my human eyes to see, and began working on it feverishly. As I stepped closer, curious, my ear started registering something snapping. It sounded plastic.

The stranger held the item in his hands out triumphantly, and I realized it was one of those cheap, plain, plastic stick-together dolls, complete with a grape-shaped head, conical arms, and feet that could easily compete with a grandmother chair for rocking the body, if not sending it straight onto the ground.

But when the man simply tapped it to make it grow human-sized, my eyes widened. There was no technology that could do something like that.

I had to ask: "Ellimist?"

"Sorry?"

"Are...aren't you the Ellimist?"

"No," the top-hat man responded, and then returned to working on setting the body right on the ground.

"Then...are you Crayak?"

This time a frown was noticeable on his face, but again he replied, "No."

"Then who are you?"

The frown was immediately replaced by a wide grin. "You may call me," the stranger said, bowing low, "the Millennium Earl."

I gaped at him. There was a third power? I thought Crayak and the Ellimist were the only people who could toy with human lives in this galaxy. Had he "immigrated" here from somewhere else?

Dread settled on my stomach. 'How are the other two going to react?'

I couldn't see a way in which there wouldn't be any consequences. The Ellimist's and Crayak's game had only accounted for two superpowers playing at one point. Somehow, I knew that this Earl could very easily upset the peaceful balance.

"Are you ready?"

All my concerns were wiped away at once, leaving one single hope, my only desire...

"I...what...?"

The man laughed. "It's all very too simple, Tobias. All that's needed is for you, who love her, to call her name and I can bring her soul from the realm forbidden to humans. And then this body will come alive, housing her soul, just so you two can have your happily ever after, never to be separated again!"

I did wonder how he knew my name, true; and his words were surprisingly gleeful, yes; but somehow I could hear no ounce of falsehood behind them...

This man... "Can you really do it?"

"You have my word. And believe me, that's a very powerful thing."

This man was so...

Forget it. I should be concentrating on Rachel...

'Careful,' I thought I heard her whisper, but it didn't matter...

Rachel...

"Rachel..."

The model suddenly flashed once...

Its bare head rose, and focused on me...

"Tobias?" it asked in her voice...

Rachel...

It was her angelic voice…

"Rachel..."

She stared back with her beautiful eyes…

It worked...

It actually worked...!

Oh god...

I flung myself at her…

Hugging her, calling her name, crying...

Rachel cradled me, weeping herself...

Her scent…it was the same…

Her hair…still a beautiful blond…

Her shirt…silky after all this time…

Her skin…so comfortingly smooth…

She's the same…

And she's back

My gaze focused on the Earl, and it struck my mind...

'This man is so wonderous!'

"Rachel..." I choked out...

"Tobias..." She embraced me...

"I'm sorry..."

It finally stopped raining...the sun was out...

Somehow, it was still gray...

There was something wrong with my stomach... It was aching uncomfortably...Oh gods, I'm not going to get an upset stomach just after Rachel was back, am I...?

And then something caught my eye...just behind Rachel...something was pooling...something fluid...'Water...?' I thought...and then somehow my vision greyed further...

But...I caught a glimpse...water wasn't so...green, was it...?

No, that wasn't right...not green...was it blue...? That made more sense...

That wasn't right either...was it red...?

The water was red...

The water was red.

I stared down at my stomach, just in time to see the doll pull her spear-like arm out of it with a squelch.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered.

I stared at her, and almost laughed. So this was the trick. The man had put Rachel's soul into a doll. He had never said anything about giving her free will back.

"Just my luck," I choked out, the pain in my stomach worsening with every word. "Killed by love. A fitting end for a fool."

I tried to kiss her, but suddenly the doll's misshapen feet started zooming bigger and bigger into view, and then...

Merciful black.


It was all too soon interrupted by noisy sounds.

"...Walker! My coat! ...Ouch!"

"...Why you..."

"Level Ones! Attack...'

Boom...

"...dear..."

"Crown Clo...whoa!"

...Bonk...

"...campy..."

"...no...skin! My dear..."

"Crown..."

"...Twos! Attack..."

"...away!"

"...later..."

"...okay? Are you okay? Hey! Can you hear me?"

With a start I realized it was directed at me. I drew a breath, and winced as something seared through my stomach.

"Don't move! Your stomach's pretty bad...but at least the virus didn't get you. Come on, stay with me. Talk about...something!"

Slowly my eyes fluttered open, and at first all I saw was white...then hair...white hair...

And a teenager's face.

"Earl..." I croaked.

"He's gone. He won't be sticking around after I gave him that thrashing, but I don't know if I can deal with your wou...no...I can, just stay with me here. I should have enough medic kits..."

Dimly, I was aware that he was fussing with my midsection. Something light and small was floating around his head. He smacked it, and it spun for a moment before emitting a beep. The boy cursed. "No reception..." he muttered.

"Rachel...?"

"Who's...?" The boy's face darkened. "Someone you love?"

And then I remembered. Earl. The doll. The ritual. The soul.

Rachel…

"Kill me."

A glance was thrown my way but nothing more happened.

"I...I made a mistake." The boy didn't understand. "I helped him. I helped him put Rachel's soul...her soul...doll..." I made the gravest mistake. "It tried to kill...no free will...she's trapped –"

"People make mistakes."

He didn't understand. "I shouldn't have...her soul...oh, god...I killed her..." And cast her into a pit worse than Hell. "So...she wants to kill me..." How was I better than the Yeerks?

"Hey, don't assume –"

"SHE WANTS TO KILL ME!" Because I had cursed her... "I WANT TO KILL ME!" Because I was such a fool... "SO KILL ME!" And end my mistake!

"Calm –"

"KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME!"

Pain. Slow blood. Darkening.

"Kill me..."

Night.