It was a rainy day in tachanka valley, all the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley were in the church because in tachanka valley it rains bullets. Then a particularly promiscuous tachanka saw a wild clash in the distance being rained on. The wild clash tribe lives in clash village and did not know about the bullet rain in tachanka valley.

This tachanka decided he would save the wild clash from death by rain, and become the only tachanka in the entire valley to have ever felt the touch of a woman. The plan was foolproof! Thought tachanka.

Because you see tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley are typically technosexual and only fuck the bullet shaft of their turrets.

The problem is some tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley get sued over this by the blitz federation of turret rights. So some tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley wish to follow the path of the cis-tachanka male and feel the touch of a woman for the first time.

But then something unthinkable happened to poor tachanka! Just when tachanka thought he was about to feel the touch of a woman for the first time, it was revealed! CLASH WAS ACTUALLY A SHEMALE THE ENTIRE TIME! OH THE HORROR tachanka screamed in agony!

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO FEEL THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN! Said tachanka! Tachanka, in outrage violently attacked clash and eventually killed her. This tachanka was then sued by the wild clash tribe and was sentenced to death by clash shield. This served as a reminder to all tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley as to why they fuck turrets instead of people.